Dating Greek Men - Page 7

KillarneyRose · #91 05-22-2001, 12:50 AM

A Sammy is a member of Sigma Alpha Mu Fraternity.

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@~Tracy~@
Proud to be Delta-Z

By the light of the lamp, by the light of the lamp, by the bright shiny light, by the light of the lamp...if you are a DeeZee, you're the best that you can be, by the bright shiny light of the lamp!

gammazetagrl · #92 05-22-2001, 09:23 AM

you guys, it's me again, the dumpee =(. uh, should i give his stuff back? im not only talking about gifts but i have a couple of his Sammy shirts and even a hat. I guess I should keep the presents but I think he would need his Sammy stuff (even if he has more than enough)back wouldn't he?...Ugh it hurts me to think that a new girl down the road would be having this stuff that used to be for me, but if returning it to him is the way to do it, then I would...anyway, I don't want him to give back the gifts i gave him (heh, what would i do with abercrombie for men cologne?)or even my greek stuff that he has. Well he hasn't asked for anything back yet but I dunno if I should take the initiative to do so, or just plain keep them. What do you guys think?...and what about his lavaliere (which has become a permanent fixture on my throat) should i give it back too? Sorry if I have too many questions...

James and to everyone else,thanks for your reply =) it made me feel lil bit better. I just try to see the positive things because inside im a mess and im doing everything to make everything brighter for me, even though it's real hard.

gammazetagrl · #93 05-22-2001, 06:07 PM

I see your point with your reply, 33girl. to everyone, thanks again. i was able to talk to him today and i feel much better (though still a lil lonely) and we promised to still be there for each other as friends. i don't wanna end up changing the topic of this forum so i posted a new topic Getting over breakups and if anyone could give me feedback, id really appreciate it because i need all the advice i can get right now.

PinkStar17 · #94 05-22-2001, 09:55 PM

I have been through many greek relationships.. and they all confuse the living crap out of me!!!!!!!!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh
ok now that i let that out.. let me explain.. greek men in my opnion are afraid of commitment!
they cant stand being tied down to one greek girl, when there are all those other "groupies" from other organiztions..

my first greek boyfreind was when i was rushing.. i didnt fully understand why he was taking so much time to do this or that..and eventually i broke up with him because he didnt have enough time for me.. well we decided to be freinds.. but when i was finally a pledge he IGNORED MY EXISTENCE! he told all my sisters that he didnt know who i was.. and why some "pycho pledge" was in love with him.. the jerk.. ok well then i went to my first mixer (Pi Kappa Phi)

and i met my current "dating person" (hes not my boyfreind but close enough dont know what to call him!) anwyays he is the sweetest and best guy ive ever met.. he truly is a "southern gentleman" we have talked and dated for 6months.. and at first i thought he was annoying cause he called so much.. but eventually we got to getting to know each other.. and now im completely anamored!
he is great.. he helped me learn my creed, knows all my chants and songs.. makes me feel special all the time.. he says im the most importnat girl in his life.. even though he is dating other girls.....
my problem is i dont deal with sharing very well.. and i want him to commit.. but he wont yet

i know that when he does it will be wonderful.. but i know he just doesnt want to commit because he is a young "frat guy" ahhhh it sucks.. he tells me everything though.. and even feels guilty when he hangs out with other girls..

i just dont know what to do.. i really want to be his.. and only his.. and him to be only mine! but this whole greek thing i think is making it take a lil longer than hoped for!

why do greek guys not want commitment???? that is like a bad word to them..
i dont get it.. they all confuse the living crap out of me!

sorry this is so long.. i needed to vent

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Love, Honor, Truth

33girl · #95 05-23-2001, 12:04 AM

Yes I would definitely give his stuff all back to him. The more you keep it around and see it the harder it will be to get over it. Plus even if he wouldn't care if you had it some of his brothers might. Just box it all up and take it over to him. If he has Greek stuff of yours (other than stuff like formal favors, etc) I would ask for that back also, for the same reason.

Look at it this way, even if some other chick does end up wearing his stuff, YOU wore it first.

gammazetagrl · #96 05-24-2001, 11:56 PM

Hi girl...im trying to bounce back from a breakup and so far everything is looking up..

about your deal with not sharing..i understand your point..after all this guy has u completely enamored, and called you the most important girl in his life. but u guys dont claim each other as bf/gf. i know about "commitment-phobic fratboys" *sigh* but since you feel so comfortable with him in the six months seeing each other, then u could think of sitting him down in a conversation and tell him how u felt, know what i mean? tell him it bothers u seeing him with other girls yet he tells u how much he likes u and all that stuff. so it's like, hey what's up with us? =) i dont know, that's just what i think...=) email me at princess_chunli@hotmail.com if u wanna talk or something.

BS-Faceoff · #97 05-25-2001, 01:57 PM

Well...well...WELLLLLLLLLLLL..... i believe that it truly depends on the guy!!! Currently i am dating someone who is a member of Phi Beta Sigma and he just recently crossed this year. I must say that he is the best thing that has happened to me. Even as a NEO he is NOT immature and he is very understanding. He does not disrespect me and we have a great understanding of where we are in our relationship. Dating a non-greek was very difficult because he could not understand the obligation and commitment that I had to my organization and sorors!! But my new honey does and things are going great...so my advice is don't give up on ALL greek men yet...there are still some good ones left...i know because i got the best one!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEE-Yip!!

sbstacy · #98 05-28-2001, 11:31 PM

hey everyone...i read this topic and had to reply...my boyfriend last semester was a greek, and i am a non-greek. I personally had no problems with the situation at all, in fact, i loved it! All of his brothers kind of "adopted" me and it was great to have all these guys kind of looking out for me. While we have broken up since, i know that i will always be welcome at the house and always will be friends with the guys. I'd also love to have my next relationship be with a greek as well

ThetaKAT_21 · #99 05-30-2001, 03:30 PM

I just wanted to say that I have dated a greek guy for over two years now and I think that it has been easy on our relationship. We had things in common to talk about with both of us being in a greek organization. It was also nice when we needed to talk about things going on in our houses. We both have experienced it so it is nice to have someone to listen who understands the stress of being in a greek org. sometimes.

On another note. When I started college i was dating someone else who ended up pledging a fraternity. He definitely changed because of his house into someone I did not like at all. When I met my bf now he was already in a fraternity. He is very proud of his fraternity but it never made him anything bur very nice to me. His brothers are all the same way toward girls too. The ex bf on the other hand pledged a house that is very disrespectful of girls and looks at each girl that walks in the front door as a piece of meat. I am so glad I realized all of this early so that I could find a real man in my bf now. I love him and all of his fraternity brothers.

Muffy Sorority Girl · #**100** 05-30-2001, 04:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by TrueGreekLove:
For those of you that have dated greek men, do you find them to be any different than men who are non-greek? Is it different to date a greek man if you are greek yourself versus being a non greek dating a greek man? What are the pros and cons? I am just asking because generally I have found greek men to be very immature...and then there have been those that do a 360 on you after becoming greek and discovering that there are fraternity groupies out there...they are a completely different person after they cross!

He did a complete 360, huh? Take a moment to think about what you are saying.

ees125 · #**101** 05-31-2001, 07:45 AM

I have dated both, and I agree with many of the other posts, whether the guy is Greek or not, has no bearing on what kind of guy he is. However, every GDI I have dated has had a hard time understanding my committment, why I did it in the first place, how I feel, etc...None have been unsupportive, but it is really frustrating to not have them understand my feeling for my sorority.

lilnongreek · #**102** 05-31-2001, 02:00 PM

hey all,
i'm a non greek myself and interested in a kappa...now i really wasn't aware of much of their reputation until my friend told me quite a bit...i have to say, i'm a little critical of how well this could actually work b/c although he's been a perfect gentlemen, i've heard quite a bit of stories.

i guess i'll just have to wait and see if it all blows up or not. oh well.

BlackApplePie · #**103** 06-03-2001, 12:52 AM

I'm a non-greek that dated an Alpha who was wonderful, but it was difficult at times. We had to keep our relationship discreet in the beginning because so many people were in our business and couldn't understand why he wasn't dating someone who was greek also. He spent an obscene amount of time with his bruhs and his sands so that was hard too, but everything worked out for us. One of my friends dated a greek and she had MANY problems with his new-found campus fame and all of the girls. I would advise people not to have a serious relationship with a Neo unless they are very mature and can handle all of the new problems that will arise.

[This message has been edited by BlackApplePie (edited June 03, 2001).]

Tara Archer · #**104** 06-04-2001, 04:22 PM

I have dated Greek and non Greek men. Most guys in college are not into commitement...( if I may make such a statement, sorry to all you nice guys out there

including my boyfriend hehe ) but I have found that Greek men seem to want commitment even less. Please disagree with me, I would acually like to be wrong.

gammazetagrl · #**105** 06-04-2001, 06:21 PM

Well I would disagree with you, I mean, there are also a lot of GDIs that do not like commitment. People may not like to commit for different reasons--school,school involvement,work,finances (yeah I've heard of guys who "cant afford" to have a girl)and maybe they have their own personal problems they want to deal with first. Being Greek already takes up a lot of a person's time to start with and it is up for the people in the relationship to make it work--because if you guys really want to put time aside and do anything to make it work and be used to making adjustments or compromises for each other's schedules, it will.

Trying to bounce back from a breakup, I think it will do me a world of good to be by myself for awhile, it will help me figure out what i really want--get back with him or just be content to be friends, or do i even want a guy in the first place at the moment. it will also help me catch up on stuff that I haven't done in awhile, or at least done less.

Although if heaven permits and I find myself with a new guy next semester, it would great if he would be Greek again--I just had the greatest time attending formals and stuff, plus he understands the commitment a GLO requires, the interesting traditions (ex. sweetheart songs) and of course, there's the great Greek love present...that also binds us all in the GC network!

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"To supress our feelings only makes them stronger"--from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon