First signs of a bad first date

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by dreamseeker

this. i wish a lot more people would see that. maybe you should also tell Chili this

She's like most people. Delusions of grandeur and vanity. It's okay for you to be a shithead but you can't tolerate someone being a shithead to you.

[lAZy 1]

As long as she's not needy, then I wouldn't really have a problem. I hate needy chicks.

[KSUViolet06]

Neediness/clingy behavior.

Or any behavior that says to me that you might become needy/clingy down the road.

Example: If we went out on a date, the date was over at 10:30, and I had like 15 texts and 3 voicemails from you by the time I get home at 11:15, I will assume that you are needy/a clinger and there won't be a date #2.

[KSUViolet06]

Other things that tell me you might be a clinger and we don't need to go on any further dates:

*Getting upset if I don't return your calls right away.

Example: if you call me while i'm at work, and I don't return your call until after 5, and the first words out of your mouth are "I called you three hours ago, why didn't you call me back?" (in a serious way and not being funny/sarcastic) there will be no more dates.

*If you mutter any words such as "when we move in together..." or "when we have kids..." there will be no subsequent dates.

*Requesting to be "In A Relationship" with me on FB when we have been on one date and maybe have known each other for a few weeks.

*Getting defensive if we see someone I know while out and I say hi to them.

Ex: I saw a HS classmate (guy) out while on a date and said hello to him. He is gay and was with his partner so he clearly wasn't hitting on me. We chatted for maybe a minute (I was even polite and introduced everyone), and once he was gone, Date said defensively "who was that guy?"

I told him that I knew him from HS. Date asked "what if I talked to a girl I knew on a date?" I told him he was being ridic. He got out his phone and started texting girls. I ended that one early because he was just too clingy/passive aggressive for me to continue going out with him.

[dreamseeker]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Ex: I saw a HS classmate (guy) out while on a date and said hello to him. He is gay and was with his partner so he clearly wasn't hitting on me. We chatted for maybe a minute (I was even polite and introduced everyone), and once he was gone, Date said defensively "who was that guy?"

I told him that I knew him from HS. Date asked "what if I talked to a girl I knew on a date?" I told him he was being ridic. He got out his phone and started texting girls. I ended that one early because he was just too clingy/passive aggressive for me to continue going out with him.

umm, wow. that dude belongs in the sandbox. and even then there are more mature kids than him.

[Prettyface08]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

*Getting upset if I don't return your calls right away.

Example: if you call me while i'm at work, and I don't return your call until after 5, and the first words out of your mouth are "I called you three hours ago, why didn't you call me back?" (in a serious way and not being funny/sarcastic) there will be no more dates.

This! PLUS, if you call me during work hours at all and we've only been out once, we have a problem. How RUDE. You don't know me well enough to call me during work hours, and then to have the nerve to be upset that I didn't pick up or call right back? I said good day, sir!

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by Prettyface08

This! PLUS, if you call me during work hours at all and we've only been out once, we have a problem. How RUDE. You don't know me well enough to call me during work hours....

Goodness, you have a low threshold. That only makes sense if you share your office hours with him on the date (a la Big Red "my office hours are from 8 to 5...") and ask him not to call you during them.

On another note:
Many many moons ago, I hung out with a dude ONE TIME and he began calling me ALL DAY. When I was in the office. When I was out shopping. I'm out to dinner and he's calling me every 5 minutes. It was the craziest thing I'd ever experienced. It pissed me off. And one time I decided to answer and he said "I didn't want nothing...I just have this crazy work schedule and I get bored." Well...ummm...pick up knitting or something. Needless to say, we never talked again.

[Prettyface08]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Goodness, you have a low threshold. That only makes sense if you share your office hours with him on the date (a la Big Red "my office hours are from 8 to 5...") and ask him not to call you during them.

On another note:
Many many moons ago, I hung out with a dude ONE TIME and he began calling me ALL DAY. When I was in the office. When I was out shopping. I'm out to dinner and he's calling me every 5 minutes. It was the craziest thing I'd ever experienced. It pissed me off. And one time I decided to answer and he said "I didn't want nothing...I just have this crazy work schedule and I get bored." Well...ummm...pick up knitting or something. Needless to say, we never talked again.

LOL! If I love that movie. If the date went well enough that he is able to call me again at some point I would have shared to him what I do and that they were day time hours. And yeah, I have a low threshold. I feel some type of way about calling someone during work hours unless they've asked me to.

Oh, and the dude who called all day would have been blocked (lol wait, they didn't have the cellphone block features that long ago), I can't stand having someone call me that many times a day. It's annoying.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Goodness, you have a low threshold. That only makes sense if you share your office hours with him on the date (a la Big Red "my office hours are from 8 to 5...") and ask him not to call you during them.

On another note:
Many many moons ago, I hung out with a dude ONE TIME and he began calling me ALL DAY. When I was in the office. When I was out shopping. I'm out to dinner and he's calling me every 5 minutes. It was the craziest thing I'd ever experienced. It pissed me off. And one time I decided to answer and he said "I didn't want nothing...I just have this crazy work schedule and I get bored." Well...ummm...pick up knitting or something. Needless to say, we never talked again.

You really need to get out of my head and stop liking my favorite stuff. This is getting scary.

My job is not such that I can just talk during the day. So if you're calling me, it needs to be an emergency. "I just wanted to see what you were up to" isn't an emergency. It also annoys me because the whole "what are you doing?" thing makes ZERO sense. I'm WORKING, duh.

[Prettyface08]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

You really need to get out of my head and stop liking my favorite stuff. This is getting scary.

My job is not such that I can just talk during the day. So if you're calling me, it needs to be an emergency. "I just wanted to see what you were up to" isn't an emergency. It also annoys me because the whole "what are you doing?" thing makes ZERO sense. I'm WORKING, duh.

YES!!

It's not that I can't necessarily take calls during the day, it's just that I don't want anyone getting comfortable calling me throughout the day while I'm working.

What do you even say on a first date? That won't sound like a job interview? Advisable to go to a place where both of you will be distracted ei)movies, concert
or in a quieter place ei) park, museum?

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by yougc

What do you even say on a first date? That won't sound like a job interview? Advisable to go to a place where both of you will be distracted ei)movies, concert
or in a quieter place ei) park, museum?

It is a polite, fun, and hugely entertaining job interview. Laugh and talk while finding out about each other. You will know which questions are off limits before you ask them or by his response when you do ask them.

Don't go on a date where you both be distracted. LOL. What's the point of a date if you are distracted?

Go where you will both have fun with the atmosphere and with each other.

[KSUViolet06]

That one was pretty bad. To top it off, he called me like a week later. When I didn't pick up, he left me some long rambling message wondering why I hadn't returned his emails or answered the phone.

Ummm...if you actually have to ASK why I am no longer interested in you, I feel really badly for you.

[UofISigKap]

If you find yourself reading an e-mail that says, "I was going to call you, but I didn't think you'd answer," it may have been a bad first date.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by UofISigKap

If you find yourself reading an e-mail that says, "I was going to call you, but I didn't think you'd answer," it may have been a bad first date.

Ouch.