Where are all the Potential PNMs?

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by agzg

At my undergrad you'd be looked at like you were trying too hard if you have people sending in recs. My organization's legacy introduction form was the only form I saw as a collegian. This is particularly true of non-competitive, northern deferred recruitment, because if the school is small enough chances are sorority members already know a fair amount about you before you go through recruitment (including any salacious details, true or not, about who you slept with that's a member of what fraternity/campus organization).

Originally Posted by Meow190

I go to exactly this sort of school, and I've been told that I dont NEED recs, but the girl I was talking to never said anything about having them being bad, just that if I couldnt find someone to write one it wasnt a big deal.

Also, I'll be going through as an upperclasswoman (2nd year) and have freinds in most of the sororities, so they do already have a good idea of who I am. I have a good lead on a rec for one of the chapters, but the others are proving tricky. Should I just take the one, or should I give up on all of them?

I know that the sisters at my school (one that was described by agzg to a tee) wouldn't know what to do with a rec. If you have good friends in some of the chapters, ask them what they would suggest. Ask them about their personal experiences when they were in recruitment, whether or not they had recs, and how influential they really are (without asking for membership selection details).

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Meow190

I go to exactly this sort of school, and I've been told that I don't NEED recs, but the girl I was talking to never said anything about having them being bad, just that if I couldnt find someone to write one it wasnt a big deal.

Also, I'll be going through as an upperclasswoman (2nd year) and have freinds in most of the sororities, so they do already have a good idea of who I am. I have a good lead on a rec for one of the chapters, but the others are proving tricky. Should I just take the one, or should I give up on all of them?

We got one rec the whole time I was in school and we were just kind of clueless as to what to do with it - we didn't think it was a negative though. The girl ended up pledging elsewhere anyway. Take the one rec that was offered to you, but don't break your back trying to get one for every group or freak out if you can't.

[agzg]

I'm not talking about having a rec or two that was offered to you, I mean having one or more to EVERY chapter and getting really stressed out about it.

[Smile_Awhile]

A bit off topic, but I noticed some posts mentioning that there must be a rec in place for a PNM to be extended a bid. This may venture into MS for some groups, so if it does, I understand that I can't know. But is this required by some sororities? Or is it only for larger chapters at bigger schools?

Personally, my chapter wouldn't know what to do with a rec. We might have seen one or two,and I know we've seen legacy introductions, but other than that it just doesn't happen.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Smile_Awhile

A bit off topic, but I noticed some posts mentioning that there must be a rec in place for a PNM to be extended a bid. This may venture into MS for some groups, so if it does, I understand that I can't know. But is this required by some sororities? Or is it only for larger chapters at bigger schools?

Personally, my chapter wouldn't know what to do with a rec. We might have seen one or two,and I know we've seen legacy introductions, but other than that it just doesn't happen.

I believe this depends on the sorority. Certain NPCs do have a policy stating that a PNM much have a rec to be extended a bid. We talked about this on GC before but I can't recall which groups.

[lsuchicka]

Thanks- that definately confirmed what I was thinking.

[futuregreek?]

Well, I'm a PNM and I'm here with a question.
I've been thinking about rushing for about two years now and have decided to go through formal recruitment this fall. Through all of my greek chat lurking, the biggest thing I've learned besided recs is to KEEP AN OPEN MIND.
As I looked through all of the websites and attended a pre-recruitment event at my college, I have always tried to make sure at least half of the houses were on my "I can see myself there" list. But, I recently met with an alum (an incredible woman that I've looked up to for the past three years) of one of the houses on the top half on my list. Now, I'm afraid that I like one house more than the rest. I know this is bad, and am well aware that this opinion might change when I begin meeting girls during the open house round. However, I don't know how to keep this favoritism in check for the month leading up to recruitment.

It appears that when "researching" houses, it is inevitable that a PNM will end up with some sort of mental ranking no matter how hard they try not to, so how can other PNM's and myself keep these ranks in check? It is practically impossible to unthink something that you've been thinking about so frequently. How can I restore my "open mind"?

[ThetaDancer]

Originally Posted by futuregreek?

Well, I'm a PNM and I'm here with a question.
I've been thinking about rushing for about two years now and have decided to go through formal recruitment this fall. Through all of my greek chat lurking, the biggest thing I've learned besided recs is to KEEP AN OPEN MIND.
As I looked through all of the websites and attended a pre-recruitment event at my college, I have always tried to make sure at least half of the houses were on my "I can see myself there" list. But, I recently met with an alum (an incredible woman that I've looked up to for the past three years) of one of the houses on the top half on my list. Now, I'm afraid that I like one house more than the rest. I know this is bad, and am well aware that this opinion might change when I begin meeting girls during the open house round. However, I don't know how to keep this favoritism in check for the month leading up to recruitment.

It appears that when "researching" houses, it is inevitable that a PNM will end up with some sort of mental ranking no matter how hard they try not to, so how can other PNM's and myself keep these ranks in check? It is practically impossible to unthink something that you've been thinking about so frequently. How can I restore my "open mind"?

I think it's natural to have some preferences. I think the most important thing is to try to not get yourself so set in stone on one or two chapters, that you disregard other chapters right off the bat or that you give up on recruitment completely if things don't work out with one of your "favorite" chapters. The fact that you're "well aware that this opinion might change" is a good sign, because it means you are open to seeing what every organization has to offer.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by futuregreek?

Well, I'm a PNM and I'm here with a question.
I've been thinking about rushing for about two years now and have decided to go through formal recruitment this fall. Through all of my greek chat lurking, the biggest thing I've learned besided recs is to KEEP AN OPEN MIND.
As I looked through all of the websites and attended a pre-recruitment event at my college, I have always tried to make sure at least half of the houses were on my "I can see myself there" list. But, I recently met with an alum (an incredible woman that I've looked up to for the past three years) of one of the houses on the top half on my list. Now, I'm afraid that I like one house more than the rest. I know this is bad, and am well aware that this opinion might change when I begin meeting girls during the open house round. However, I don't know how to keep this favoritism in check for the month leading up to recruitment.

It appears that when "researching" houses, it is inevitable that a PNM will end up with some sort of mental ranking no matter how hard they try not to, so how can other PNM's and myself keep these ranks in check? It is practically impossible to unthink something that you've been thinking about so frequently. How can I restore my "open mind"?

It's pretty natural for PNMs to have favorites. As much as we advise them not to, it's bound to happen.

Just try not to get to the point of thinking that you love a house so much (without actually meeting anyone in it) that you would drop out of recruitment or something if you didn't get it.

I just tell girls to keep in the back of their minds that it's important to be open minded because ANY of your faves could cut you at any point in the process.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by futuregreek?

Well, I'm a PNM and I'm here with a question.
I've been thinking about rushing for about two years now and have decided to go through formal recruitment this fall. Through all of my greek chat lurking, the biggest thing I've learned besided recs is to KEEP AN OPEN MIND.
As I looked through all of the websites and attended a pre-recruitment event at my college, I have always tried to make sure at least half of the houses were on my "I can see myself there" list. But, I recently met with an alum (an incredible woman that I've looked up to for the past three years) of one of the houses on the top half on my list. Now, I'm afraid that I like one house more than the rest. I know this is bad, and am well aware that this opinion might change when I begin meeting girls during the open house round. However, I don't know how to keep this favoritism in check for the month leading up to recruitment.

It appears that when "researching" houses, it is inevitable that a PNM will end up with some sort of mental ranking no matter how hard they try not to, so how can other PNM's and myself keep these ranks in check? It is practically impossible to unthink something that you've been thinking about so frequently. How can I restore my "open mind"?

It's natural to like certain chapters better than others. I don't think that's what is meant by "keep an open mind." Keeping an open mind simply means to give all of the chapters a chance. Some people openly admit to wanting to avoid talking to girls of a chapter because they're "not worth their time." And others here have seen the eye-rolling and lack of participation by PNMs who couldn't be bothered by such a "low-tier" chapter. (Just the word "tier" drives me crazy, btw).

Basically, just don't get your hopes up on one chapter, especially before recruitment has even started, because there's a good chance you might not end up there. Remember that recruitment is a MUTUAL SELECTION PROCESS and the last thing you would want is to be in a chapter that doesn't want you.

Also keep in mind that the woman that you look up to so much is an alumna of her sorority. While it would be great to be her sister, she won't be the one living in the house, staying up late talking with you, building homecoming floats, participating in philanthropies, competing with you during Greek Week, etc. The active sisters are the ones that you really want to click with.

Keeping all this in mind... Have fun

[court4short]

(Disclaimer: I am a PNM..but from my viewpoint)

This thread is funny, because the PNM's who could really benefit from this, are the ones who WON'T read it ! They'll post anyway. If they're too lazy/stupid/ignorant to do a search, then they definitely won't be reading this.

Oh the irony...

[curlygirl18]

I was reading through many of the old forums about juniors rushing, so rather than start a whole new thead I though I'd post my question here...

I want to rush as a junior at a smaller school where I know of several juniors who have recieved bids. I did informal recuitment last spring but only rushed 2 out of 6 sororities and didn't get a bid. A hard lesson learned on being open-minded... Anyway my problem is that the second night of recruitment I have tickets for an out of town concert with one of my best friends who goes to another school. I made these plans long before I knew what dates recruitment was this year, not thinking it would be a problem because it's usually held much earlier at my school. I'd feel awful about cancelling these plans because my friend and I have been looking forward to this for months! I know missing recuitment events can put my chances of getting a bid at risk and understand the reasons why. Should I go for it anyway and explain my situation, or just not waste anyone's time?!

[33girl]

Originally Posted by curlygirl18

I was reading through many of the old forums about juniors rushing, so rather than start a whole new thead I though I'd post my question here...

I want to rush as a junior at a smaller school where I know of several juniors who have recieved bids. I did informal recuitment last spring but only rushed 2 out of 6 sororities and didn't get a bid. A hard lesson learned on being open-minded... Anyway my problem is that the second night of recruitment I have tickets for an out of town concert with one of my best friends who goes to another school. I made these plans long before I knew what dates recruitment was this year, not thinking it would be a problem because it's usually held much earlier at my school. I'd feel awful about cancelling these plans because my friend and I have been looking forward to this for months! I know missing recuitment events can put my chances of getting a bid at risk and understand the reasons why. Should I go for it anyway and explain my situation, or just not waste anyone's time?!

Rush is more important than a concert. If you don't agree you shouldn't be rushing.

[curlygirl18]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Rush is more important than a concert. If you don't agree you shouldn't be rushing.

I understand, it's not the concert that's important, it's my best friend for many years who has already made travel arrangements to come in for it. I don't think I could disappoint her and we only see each other a few times a year.

I was just wondering if they'd be understanding of the situation if I decided to go through recruitment. If not, I won't go through, I know being at all the events is important and for good reasons.

[33girl]

If she's that good of a friend, she should understand about rush.

I can't tell from your post if you only *chose* to go to 2 sororities' events, or if there were only 2 sororities holding events. If it was the latter, and you didn't get a bid, the chances are very very very slim that you're going to get one now.

If it was the former, and you blew off the other 4 sororities' events for whatever reason, they're probably not going to be too high on you now to begin with - and missing this fall's events for the concert will not win you any points.