Pregnant and in a sorority

[SthrnZeta]

^^ Amen sister!!! ZL!

[Thetagirl218]

Ztaberry, I sent you a private message that may help...

[ztaberry28]

Ok I talked to our VP 3 and because Im not transferring, Im taking a semester off and because Im not married yet I cant go early alum so either I pay our dues (1500) and wait til then or I can drop and since its only the 2nd day of classes and our deadline for dues hasnt passed I dont have to pay the dues. Honestly I dont want to pay all that money for events Im not gonna attend and meals Im not gonna eat when I need to save it.

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by ztaberry28

Ok I talked to our VP 3 and because Im not transferring, Im taking a semester off and because Im not married yet I cant go early alum so either I pay our dues (1500) and wait til then or I can drop and since its only the 2nd day of classes and our deadline for dues hasnt passed I dont have to pay the dues. Honestly I dont want to pay all that money for events Im not gonna attend and meals Im not gonna eat when I need to save it.

That doesn't make any sense. Why can you withdraw and not pay dues, but you can't go early alum and not pay dues? You really should appeal this "decision" to your advisory board.

[FSUZeta]

your vp3 is going by what the zta general manual says-in that respect she is correct. there is no contingency for pregnant members in the current manual.

in the past week, a similar situation has occured in the zta chapter where i was most recently an advisor, the exception being that the girls "sperm donor"* ditched the girl when she told him she was pregnant. i was consulted by the current advisors and our consensus was to grant this young woman early alum. status. the advisors contacted the national officer above them, who went to the vp-collegiate over the area where the chapter is located, and this member is being granted early alum. status.

and that is why i advised you to NOT go to your officers, but to go to your advisors, your province president OR direcly to i.o. just don't try to make zta the bad guy in this situation.

*i call him the sperm donor because he is not offering any kind of support whatsoever to this young woman

[fantASTic]

Wow, if I had to make that choice I'm afraid I would simply have to drop too. That's really awful that they won't help you out there. I know that must have been a hard choice but you have to do what is right for you..and wasting 1500 dollars is probably not in that category.

I'm sorry you had to make that decision.

[lilzetakitten]

I'd appeal that, because she's wrong. Pregnancy IS a reason to go alum early in ZTA. Talk to your GA, because I'd really hate to see a sister have to drop for this reason.

[nittanyalum]

^^^Completely understand your point and I feel the same way, I was just noticing that this thread is on page 6, all us alums have repeatedly pleaded with her to think ahead and call whoever she needs to to get early alum status, but she's either going to do it for herself or she's not. It's just starting to feel like we're all here talking to each other and she's just going to do whatever she's decided, she's probably off looking at reception halls and baby clothes and we're still here preaching to our own choirs...

[skylark]

True, and I agree with you.

Something that kind of just occurred to me... we also might be preaching to someone 2 years from now who comes to this site (or googles) because she's pregnant, her president told her she couldn't go early alum, but she is too afraid to openly question her president's position without knowing that at least some groups might consider an exception. About every 10 posts tells people to "use the search button" so hell, lets imagine someone actually does it and finds this particular thread and is thereafter encouraged to speak up.

By the way, :-) I am the eternal optimist, always looking for the silver lining.

[nittanyalum]

^^^Good point, this is good information, it just struck me it seems the OP stopped participating (and seems to have given up) but we're out here still pushin'. But you're right, maybe it will help someone in the future. I'm usually mostly optimistic too, but today I'm crampy and cranky so my patience is short....

[SthrnZeta]

I just find this whole thing so frustrating. And I hate to say this, but I agree with the point that I think we care more about her staying a Zeta than she does - which is sad. I understand being in a sorority doesn't "interest her" right now but 5 years from now it might and it'll be too late. No one expects her to immediatley join an alum chapter as soon as she'd go alum and be all active - and that's the beauty of being alum - YOU decide how much you participate. And it's SO CHEAP! $35-$40 ish a year is nothing compared to collegiate dues! And that's only IF you decide to join an alumnae chapter! Sigh. I almost wish I could talk to this girl in person and just say, hey! Call the GA cuz your VP3 is just plain wrong! Of course ZTA wants to keep you, all GLO's rely on the support of their alumni and will go to great lengths to keep them.

[ztaberry28]

Let me set something straight of course I love zeta with all my heart i made a vow to my sisters but certain things happen in our lives that take precedence. I know you alums have all had enriching experiences but my life isnt my sorority. Ive also had to give up being on swimteam and probably will have to give up a semester or two of school. How can I be expected to leave all those behind? None of this is easy for me and I wish ya'll would appreciate that Im not gonna force myself into early alum if its not what my chapter wants. Realistically the seniors probably are doing this to me to show how unhappy they are about it and I dont blame my other sister for not telling them. If they wanted me to go early alum they would have helped me already.

[AOII Angel]

ZTAberry...of course this is all your decision, but we all hoped you'd see that ZTA is more than just your collegiate chapter and that it doesn't have to be your whole life to participate after you graduate (or go early alum.) Just because your chapter doesn't want it doesn't mean you shouldn't get your early alum status. It's your membership not theirs. But, if you don't want it, that's a completely different story. Don't blame us for trying...we just see the forest for the trees where you are currently looking directly at the leaves.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

Don't blame us for trying...we just see the forest for the trees where you are currently looking directly at the leaves.

HA! I like it.

[FSUZeta]

it is not up to the chapter to decide whether you take early alum, status or not-that is entirely your decision. it seems that you have decided not to pursue early alum. status. so be it.