Pregnant Pledge

[alphaalpha]

Originally posted by futuregreek
somebody said: "I think, for me, this would be the issue. If i were in an undergraduate chapter how are 18, 19 and 20 years olds who are at college to get an education suppose to relate to someone who has a baby and has to deal with (ie illness, other stuff). "
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just curious, let's say a PNM had a serious illness...just because others can't relate to that, does that make her less of a candidate?

It would not make her less of a candidate, but when i was an undergraduate (not to give away membership selection secrets) but when we discussed whoto give bids to we talked about how would these women relate to each other. My statement was directed to that idea. From my own experience i had a very hard time at the age of 20 to relate to my best friend who was pregnaunt and then when she had her baby. From my experience, i was stating, How can 18 to 20 year old relate to someone who was pregnaunt/already had a child simple cause a women with a child is dealing with issues that most women that age had not dealt with.

Also, i was trying to make the point that I, and probably many college students, went to college to get the college experience and my friend who had the baby could not experience those things cause she had a baby to take care of.

Now, would my friend make a good addition to a sorority, make grades, be the type of person who would get involved. Yes. But she had a major change (ie having the baby) that i think that many 18 year old could not relate to and thus i don't think would be best addition when putting together a new member class.

I here all these arguments about how women can do these things and how they found support from their sisters. Great, but just from my experience I think that the average 18 year old member of a new member class would have a hard time relating to the things that a new mom/mom to be had to deal with. And that would be the important issue to me when voting on a candidate.

[Munchkin03]

I don't think this question has been answered...

...what if the PNM in question knows she will put the baby up for adoption when she's born? Does that make the issue of being pregnant a moot point?

[valkyrie]

Originally posted by Munchkin03
I don't think this question has been answered...

...what if the PNM in question knows she will put the baby up for adoption when she's born? Does that make the issue of being pregnant a moot point?

It would make a difference to me. I'd be more inclined to want to cut a girl who is going to keep the baby because, well, I don't like babies and don't want them around me, nor do I want to hear about them all the time.

But you know, even if she puts the baby up for adoption, that won't stop the campus gossip hounds from saying stuff like OMGWTFBBQ XYZ house had a pregnant pledge OMG they're all WHORES!!!

[Tom Earp]

Doesnt it Basically boil down to what not to do as a prim Sorority Lady?

Does it look good for The Organization with a Girl with child on campus wearing letters.

Is that the kind of projection to be made for possible new members?

[Munchkin03]

Originally posted by valkyrie
It would make a difference to me. I'd be more inclined to want to cut a girl who is going to keep the baby because, well, I don't like babies and don't want them around me, nor do I want to hear about them all the time.

But you know, even if she puts the baby up for adoption, that won't stop the campus gossip hounds from saying stuff like OMGWTFBBQ XYZ house had a pregnant pledge OMG they're all WHORES!!!

It would make a difference to me, too--and apparently, it did make a difference for my chapter.

It seems like no one wants to admit that babies out of wedlock=proof of premarital sex. We might all be shacking, but no one wants to admit it, lest we be considered anything but good sorority girls.

[BetteDavisEyes]

I was going to stay out of this particluar thread but I had to respond to something.

KDLADY00, Your baby is very beautiful. You must be so proud and you have been truly blessed.

Originally posted by Munchkin03
It seems like no one wants to admit that babies out of wedlock=proof of premarital sex. We might all be shacking, but no one wants to admit it, lest we be considered anything but good sorority girls.

OK...I admit it...I had premarital sex & had a baby as the result...so whats your point? I know tons of my sisters and other sisters from other chapters along with some girls for other different sororities on campus that has had premarital sex...its nobody business but theirs soooo what does that have to do with anything? There are babies that are results of premarital sex but there parents jump up and run get married before anyone knows....and then they end up fighting and getting divorced as a result...
I was already an alum....engaged for 2 years and ended up pregnant...thats nobodys business but mine if I had sex before marriage...I am PROUD of my son and wouldnt ever take him back for anything in the world..
I still proudly wear my letters and social t-shirts all the time and just because I have had a child doesnt change the fact that I am still a very proud KDLady!

Originally posted by BetteDavisEyes
I was going to stay out of this particluar thread but I had to respond to something.

KDLADY00, Your baby is very beautiful. You must be so proud and you have been truly blessed.

Aww Thank you sooo much! Everyone that has commented on him...Thanks Bunches! I am very proud of him!

[Munchkin03]

Originally posted by KDLady00
OK...I admit it...I had premarital sex & had a baby as the result...so whats your point?

My point, which you obviously didn't get, was that instead of pretending that actives are primarily concerned with how the PNM will balance motherhood with sisterhood, most are more concerned with how a pregnant PNM will look to "the outside world" or "the Greek community," and just don't want to admit it.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally posted by Munchkin03
My point, which you obviously didn't get, was that instead of pretending that actives are primarily concerned with how the PNM will balance motherhood with sisterhood, most are more concerned with how a pregnant PNM will look to "the outside world" or "the Greek community," and just don't want to admit it.

I admit that that would be a concern of mine. It's a valid concern, and anyone who says it doesn't matter is lying. I'm not saying women who have kids or are pregnant shouldn't be considered, but the climate of the campus and whether having this young woman will make other PNM's avoid you like the plague needs to be considered as well. This may be fully acceptable @ liberal schools, but might not fly @ a more conservative school and that must be considered.

[33girl]

Originally posted by Munchkin03
My point, which you obviously didn't get, was that instead of pretending that actives are primarily concerned with how the PNM will balance motherhood with sisterhood, most are more concerned with how a pregnant PNM will look to "the outside world" or "the Greek community," and just don't want to admit it.

I think that maybe the reason she didn't get your point was because she didn't get judged in that way and assumes everyone's sisters (from both her KD chapter and her social club) are as non-judgemental and supportive as hers.

Which is really kinda nice, when you think about it.

[Munchkin03]

Originally posted by 33girl
I think that maybe the reason she didn't get your point was because she didn't get judged in that way and assumes everyone's sisters (from both her KD chapter and her social club) are as non-judgemental and supportive as hers.

One of the actives in my chapter (actually, my big) got pregnant and decided to keep the baby, putting him up for adoption. She wasn't asked to leave or take alumna status.

She received nothing but support from us collegiates or even the alumnae advisors, but members of other sororities quickly began to tell PNMs that we were all promiscuous. I'm sure it's this fear of judgement that can be problematic to pregnant PNMs and actives that many sorority members are thinking about when they say they don't want a pregnant member. It's hypocritical to me because the woman in question didn't do anything most Greek women haven't done...she just has "proof," so to speak.

Originally posted by Munchkin03
One of the actives in my chapter (actually, my big) got pregnant and decided to keep the baby, putting him up for adoption. She wasn't asked to leave or take alumna status.

She received nothing but support from us collegiates or even the alumnae advisors, but members of other sororities quickly began to tell PNMs that we were all promiscuous. I'm sure it's this fear of judgement that can be problematic to pregnant PNMs and actives that many sorority members are thinking about when they say they don't want a pregnant member. It's hypocritical to me because the woman in question didn't do anything most Greek women haven't done...she just has "proof," so to speak.

Actually...I wasnt asked to take alumnae status...and I believe I said before in another post that if I would have been a PNM that was pregnant while rushing KD...I dont believe I would have made it or have even been given a bid since I did attend a more conservative school.
Social Clubs are different from a sorority and I was given a lot of support from my fellow pledge sisters and actives which helped me alot!

Originally posted by 33girl
I think that maybe the reason she didn't get your point was because she didn't get judged in that way and assumes everyone's sisters (from both her KD chapter and her social club) are as non-judgemental and supportive as hers.

Which is really kinda nice, when you think about it.

I did get a lot of support but that didnt mean some wasnt non-judgemental...the closer sisters in KD were awesome however there was some that I havent heard from in a while like was said before...they bowed-out gracefully!
The HL sisters were very supportive & nonjudgemental...we had a candlelight & I was told that my pregnancy whatever I decided to do would not affect me being iniated...and it didnt..

[kayla0deegee]

Dear Exec Board,
I will not be able to attend the mixer on Friday due to the fact that I will be giving birth to a child.



Come on....i think that if a girl came through that was pregnant i would question her priorities, not her morals. I would be looking at financial obligations and such. I dont think it's a question of what people would think or say but the fact there would be no way she would be able to hold up her obligations to first her child, then the sorority..or at least I hope she would put the child first.