Cheating Men - Page 6

Discogoddess · #76 05-15-2002, 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by TLAW
... then again, how many ladies answered my last question? Thus, I don't think any of us should condemn anybody. Wear the dang shoe...

I think many of us HAVE answered the question! Why are we condemning somebody, just because we're giving our opinions? Did not Professor come on here and tell HIS BUSINESS to us and ask for feedback (whether directly, by asking a question, or indirectly, by beginning the thread in the first place)? I think most of us agree that only God can judge Professor, but that is not going to stop people from giving their opinions, which, again, WERE SOLICITED.

DST Love · #77 05-15-2002, 05:09 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Discogoddess

I think many of us HAVE answered the question! Why are we condemning somebody, just because we're giving our opinions? Did not Professor come on here and tell HIS BUSINESS to us and ask for feedback (whether directly, by asking a question, or indirectly, by beginning the thread in the first place)? I think most of us agree that only God can judge Professor, but that is not going to stop people from giving their opinions, which, again, WERE SOLICITED.

Thank you, Discogoddess. I don't think that anyone posted that Professor was going to hell with gasoline draws on. Nor did anyone post whether or not he was a good person.

TLAW · #78 05-15-2002, 05:24 PM

... okay...
Calm down. The person I was referring to (in jest) knows, and we have been PMing back and forth. All this talk of gasoline draws is just mean! LOL!
Yes, many of you have answered the question. What I was actually thinking about were the different concepts of constitutes cheating. Care to bite, anyone?

stoplook_listen · #79 05-15-2002, 08:04 PM

I know Proffesor asked for our opinions. Everyone has a right to them. Obviously he HAS been listening...at least to my opinion.
But is anybody capable of addressing BOTH points of view. In my post I acknowledged the merits of telling. Can anyone be HONEST and acknowledge that there are some advantages to keeping quiet?

I don't believe everyone here talkin all this "be honest no matter what and except the consequences" talks the talk and walks the walk 100% of the time...we alll pick and choose. How many people have ever cheated on a test, and confessed so that they could fail the course/get their degree revoked? How many people have witnessed some one do wrong, and REPORTED it knowing that they could get that other person in SERIOUS trouble? How many people have ever stolen something/changed a tag/got the hook up at McDonalds from a friend and confessed so that they and their friend may be arrested? Everyone has sinned and I just don't believe any of you if you tell me you have confessed to everyone and accepted the consequences that confession brings. I don't think Im the only one who wouldn't believe you. I am one of the FEW posters who acknowledges professors fuck up, but still shows some UNDERSTANDING. If you REALLY wanna give good advice...give the pros AND cons of your opinion and let him decided...just cause he didn't decided to throw away his wifes happiness and his own by confessing to the 1 time mistake he made doesn't mean he wasn't listening to your opinion. RESPECT that mans decision and please...bombard him with as many stones as you can throw...if YOU are WITHOUT sin!

DST Love · #80 05-15-2002, 09:21 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by stoplook_listen
I know Proffesor asked for our opinions. Everyone has a right to them. Obviously he HAS been listening...at least to my opinion.
But is anybody capable of addressing BOTH points of view. In my post I acknowledged the merits of telling. Can anyone be HONEST and acknowledge that there are some advantages to keeping quiet?

I don't believe everyone here talkin all this "be honest no matter what and except the consequences" talks the talk and walks the walk 100% of the time...we alll pick and choose. How many people have ever cheated on a test, and confessed so that they could fail the course/get their degree revoked? How many people have witnessed some one do wrong, and REPORTED it knowing that they could get that other person in SERIOUS trouble? How many people have ever stolen something/changed a tag/got the hook up at McDonalds from a friend and confessed so that they and their friend may be arrested? Everyone has sinned and I just don't believe any of you if you tell me you have confessed to everyone and accepted the consequences that confession brings. I don't think Im the only one who wouldn't believe you. I am one of the FEW posters who acknowledges professors fuck up, but still shows some UNDERSTANDING. If you REALLY wanna give good advice...give the pros AND cons of your opinion and let him decided...just cause he didn't decided to throw away his wifes happiness and his own by confessing to the 1 time mistake he made doesn't mean he wasn't listening to your opinion. RESPECT that mans decision and please...bombard him with as many stones as you can throw...if YOU are WITHOUT sin!

Refer to my previous posts regarding "we all do wrong, blah, blah". So because we all do wrong, does that mean that we should never try to do right? Again refer to the post.

TLAW,
just joking about the gasoline draws

!!

TLAW · #81 05-15-2002, 10:06 PM

DST Love, you are alright in my book.

librasoul22 · #82 05-15-2002, 10:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by stoplook_listen
I know Proffesor asked for our opinions. Everyone has a right to them. Obviously he HAS been listening...at least to my opinion.
But is anybody capable of addressing BOTH points of view. In my post I acknowledged the merits of telling. Can anyone be HONEST and acknowledge that there are some advantages to keeping quiet?

I don't believe everyone here talkin all this "be honest no matter what and except the consequences" talks the talk and walks the walk 100% of the time...we alll pick and choose. How many people have ever cheated on a test, and confessed so that they could fail the course/get their degree revoked? How many people have witnessed some one do wrong, and REPORTED it knowing that they could get that other person in SERIOUS trouble? How many people have ever stolen something/changed a tag/got the hook up at McDonalds from a friend and confessed so that they and their friend may be arrested? Everyone has sinned and I just don't believe any of you if you tell me you have confessed to everyone and accepted the consequences that confession brings. I don't think Im the only one who wouldn't believe you. I am one of the FEW posters who acknowledges professors fuck up, but still shows some UNDERSTANDING. If you REALLY wanna give good advice...give the pros AND cons of your opinion and let him decided...just cause he didn't decided to throw away his wifes happiness and his own by confessing to the 1 time mistake he made doesn't mean he wasn't listening to your opinion. RESPECT that mans decision and please...bombard him with as many stones as you can throw...if YOU are WITHOUT sin!

SIGH. STOP! LOOK!LISTEN!!!!!

I SERIOUSLY doubt that Professor made his decision based on YOUR posts!

Why must you keep giving analogies that have NO RELATION WHATSOEVER to the topic??? I mean switched license plates and hook-up's at Mickey D's may have some relation to adultery in your world...but let's ease back into reality.

Again, as has been pounded into the pavement...we didn't just arbitrarily begin to post on the topic of cheaters out of the blue. PROFESSOR ASKED OUR OPINION. Not only that, he also ASKED US WHAT WE FELT HE SHOULD DO. Therefore, any harsh words aimed at Professor were not unsolicited!

TLAW...cheating is anything more than harmless flirting...basically, if you would be hurt if you found out your mate was doing it, it's off limits! What do YOU think?

TLAW · #83 05-15-2002, 10:19 PM

I am in TOTAL AGREEMENT, Librasoul. That should be the litmus test. For example, I believe that it is improper for married people to make suggestive sexual jokes. I have seen people do this all the time. I guess I am just overly conservative?
This might sound sappy, but I believe that emotional cheating can be just as damaging as the physical aspect. Feel me?

stoplook_listen · #84 05-16-2002, 03:05 AM

"PROFESSOR ASKED OUR OPINION. Not only that, he also ASKED US WHAT WE FELT HE SHOULD DO. Therefore, any harsh words aimed at Professor were not unsolicited!"

I remember Professor asking for opinions and what everybody felt he should do, however I didn't catch the part where he asked for "harsh words". If that's what he was looking for than I'm sure he is very satisfied. I am curious.. is it possible to give advice w/o being judgemental? Is it possible to hear apposing views w/o devaluing them? I'm sure Professor made his decision based on ALL views. I'm sure he disagrees w/ alot I've said, but I doubt all of it. Likewise I'm sure he agrees w/ some of what others have said. My point wasn't to silence opinions opposite to mine,
I just felt that all the "self-righteousness" and "judging" comments were kind of bold. Especially if you have dirt on you (hence the examples) All sin is the same in the eyes of God...who are we to prioritize them?
I acknowledged what he did was wrong like everyone else(including himself) but I don't think my advice was judgemental. I don't think my disagreements w/ contrasting opinions were judgemental either. I see value in the opinions opposite of my own. I am confident that at least some of my opinions make sense to somebody. The choice is Professors in the end.

...and yes...I DO listen and learn
...and yes I have learned from these differences of opinion
...I did forget to shut up though

snuggles12 · #85 05-16-2002, 09:50 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by TLAW
I am in TOTAL AGREEMENT, Librasoul. That should be the litmus test. For example, I believe that it is improper for married people to make suggestive sexual jokes. I have seen people do this all the time. I guess I am just overly conservative?
This might sound sappy, but I believe that emotional cheating can be just as damaging as the physical aspect. Feel me?

I agree that emotional cheating is equally dangerous as physical cheating. Using another person to replace your spouse emotionally or devoting all your spare time to someone other than your spouse indicates that there is a serious problem in the marriage. I know that some people think what's the harm, I'm just talking to someone who listens to me. Those people are playing with fire and will get burned.

librasoul22 · #86 05-16-2002, 12:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by stoplook_listen
"PROFESSOR ASKED OUR OPINION. Not only that, he also ASKED US WHAT WE FELT HE SHOULD DO. Therefore, any harsh words aimed at Professor were not unsolicited!"

I remember Professor asking for opinions and what everybody felt he should do, however I didn't catch the part where he asked for "harsh words". If that's what he was looking for than I'm sure he is very satisfied. I am curious.. is it possible to give advice w/o being judgemental? Is it possible to hear apposing views w/o devaluing them? I'm sure Professor made his decision based on ALL views. I'm sure he disagrees w/ alot I've said, but I doubt all of it. Likewise I'm sure he agrees w/ some of what others have said. My point wasn't to silence opinions opposite to mine,
I just felt that all the "self-righteousness" and "judging" comments were kind of bold. Especially if you have dirt on you (hence the examples) All sin is the same in the eyes of God...who are we to prioritize them?
I acknowledged what he did was wrong like everyone else(including himself) but I don't think my advice was judgemental. I don't think my disagreements w/ contrasting opinions were judgemental either. I see value in the opinions opposite of my own. I am confident that at least some of my opinions make sense to somebody. The choice is Professors in the end.

...and yes...I DO listen and learn
...and yes I have learned from these differences of opinion
...I did forget to shut up though

I appreciate this post, believe it or not. Now I see where you are coming from. You are right Professor did not ask for "harsh words." But just to put the shoe on the other foot, the Professor similarly did not say, "when giving your oprions, please sugarcoat them so as not to offend me." I don't know about anyone else, but when someone asks me MY opinion, they had better be prepared to get it, harsh or not. Sometimes the truth just hurts, plain and simple. I don't see the posts as judgmental, nor do I see them as self-righteous. No one on this board has prefaced any post with "Well, since I am free of sin, I will comment." No one has taken a holier-than-thou stance. To the overly-sensitive, the harsh nature of the posts might give that impression. But to those who are firmly planted in reality, it is just the truth.

As far as Professor, it is my opinion that he knew what he wanted to do all along. His only struggle was to acknowledge it.

You are right about the sins. But again, what you have to realize is that this thread is not about anyone else and their sins. It is about Professor, who solicited opinions. Therefore, anyone else's life choices are pretty irrelevant, unless that person should choose to use them as a frame of reference.

TLAW, I am in TOTAL agreement about the emotional cheating thing.

TLAW · #87 05-16-2002, 01:22 PM

It has been said that women are more emotionally starved than men. Ladies, if you are being neglected, tell your men! As a male, I know how easy it is to make time for everything else than a that quiet time that helps bond with my sweetie.
Biggest marital help? Prayer, followed by commitment.

stoplook_listen · #88 05-16-2002, 02:47 PM

I am curious. If you have a friendship with a female that is similar to your friendships w/ your guys (except she's a female), would that be considered "playing w/ fire?"
Can boundaries be laid and enforced w/ attractive female friends or, is it only cool to be friends w/ unattractive women?

Do women feel threatened by them? I know most men feel threatened by "male" friends cause we know how alot of men "are". Conversely, I know many females who are able to be just friends w/ a guy without having the mentality that if he ever came on to her, she'd sex him. I don't mean to make generalizations, but for the most part this seems to hold true.

optimizm17 · #89 05-16-2002, 06:44 PM

Honestly, I wouldn't want to know if my man cheated on me. However, this is only true under certain circumstances.
1. It was a ONE time ONLY thing

2. He is truly and sincerely sorry and there is a 0% chance that it will happen againg

3. I will never find out (if it was with someone I knew and/or the chances of me finding out are high, he might as well tell me first, otherwise he can keep it to himself)

The reason why I say this is because if I am with someone and we have a lot together and our relationship is solid outside of this indiscretion I would probably want to work on the relationship. But, I know myself. I am not secure enough yet in my womanhood where I can get past something like cheating. If I found out something like that I would be a pure mess. We could try to work on our relationship, but there is no way it could be repairable. I would want it to work, but I am not big enough of a woman not to think about it or bring it up on occasion. So the incident would be better unsaid if conditions 1-3 could be met. Don't get me wrong I think cheating is wrong, awful, and selfish. However, depending on the situation I would be willing to forgive. This isn't something I would tell my man/boyfriend/husband (I am not going to give anyone a license to cheat on me) but, I would be secretly thinking "if i never know we can be happy". Now if it were a full blown affair (i.e. meeting someone every tuesday at the Holiday Inn) I would want to know, so I can drop him like a hat. I know what I think goes against the grain and I sometimes feel like I shouldn't think like this, but it is the honest truth.

stoplook_listen · #90 05-17-2002, 01:29 AM

Quote from Optimizim17:

"I would be secretly thinking 'if i never know we can be happy' "
"I know what I think goes against the grain and I sometimes feel like I shouldn't think like this, but it is the honest truth."

I'm glad you were honest enough to admit that.
I guess I'm NOT on Crack or Crazy.

Your stance is not the most popular, never the less
I doubt you are the only one who thinks like that
(just one of the few who'll admit to it

)