What do you feel like saying, right now?

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands

^^^ LMAO! You never posted this, PB. What happened? So it is a thing then. Honestly, I think dude would have cheated on her regardless though. That’s what I told her.

They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Feeding someone is one of my love languages for sure. I love to cook for him and have him really enjoy it. Whether it's a meal or baked goods.

[Phrozen Sands]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

Yeah, it is a thing in the sense that some women notice it as an early sign or signal. But you’re 100% right, if a man cheats, the issue is his heart, character, and choices. The woman offering the plate of food didn’t make him betray his partner, he chose to betray her on his own. If he was going to be unfaithful, something else would’ve opened the door eventually.

When I lived in Michigan a woman at my job in my department liked me, fully knowing I was married. After offering to bring me a plate of something she made, I just told her kindly, “Thank you, that’s thoughtful, but my wife takes care of me, I’m all set.”

She stopped after that. I’m not sure if you were around but we’ve had this “plate of food” discussion in D&R.

LOL! You shut her down real quick. You’re a nice looking dude and what most chicks would call a good catch, PB, so I can see why she didn’t care about you being married. She wanted you for herself. Chicks don’t care about the ring on the finger anymore — not with a successful, good looking dude. Did your wife know about it?

Originally Posted by AGDee

They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Feeding someone is one of my love languages for sure. I love to cook for him and have him really enjoy it. Whether it's a meal or baked goods.

True. I forgot about that saying. Would you be upset if a chick made TKE Dude a plate of food? Lol. Is that a thing with you too?

[Phrozen Sands]

TKE Dude after AGDee made him is first meal LOL!
https://youtu.be/suGUHx37Ih0?si=YQrwkAJe1NZAmqnU

[Sciencewoman]

The plate of food discussion is reminding me of a story my architect dad told us about the first senior apartments/living center he designed. When the residents moved in the ratio was about 50 women (mostly widows) to 2 widowers. Those guys never had to cook because a bunch of the widows were bringing them food all the time, and it became obvious they were all competing for these two men. At like age 85-90.

So there you go.

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands

LOL! You shut her down real quick. You’re a nice looking dude and what most chicks would call a good catch, PB, so I can see why she didn’t care about you being married. She wanted you for herself. Chicks don’t care about the ring on the finger anymore — not with a successful, good looking dude. Did your wife know about it?

Yeah, she knew. She met her and brought it to my attention before I knew, long before the plate of food was offered.

Back then, once a year I was required to attend this black-tie event in Detroit. It’s one of those formal, corporate things. I had been bringing my wife with me to it before we married. Brought her with me that night too. I had introduced her to folks I work with before, so she already knew most of them. But the “plate of food” woman was new like a few others that started with the company that my wife hadn’t met yet. That’s how they met.

I remember it like it was yesterday. My wife wasn’t mad, she just said “That woman in the red dress likes you. The one from your department. The way she looked at you every time you spoke. The way she tried to be near you without being obvious. Kept laughing at your stories a little too hard. Yeah… she likes you. I’m not worried and I’m not mad. Just wanted you to know I saw it.” Something to that effect. But she waited until we got to the car after the event was over to tell me. Long story short, she brought it to my attention so I handled it.

My wife has incredibly good discernment. A wife can sense (even without proof) when something “feels off.” It’s not paranoia, it’s discernment. Women know when another woman’s kindness has undertones, because they know the language behind the smiles. For some women, attention from a married man feels like a bigger “win” than attention from a single man. It’s twisted, but they see it as proof they’re desirable enough to pull someone already claimed. That’s why a lot of them don’t care. That’s all it is.

[Phrozen Sands]

Originally Posted by Sciencewoman

The plate of food discussion is reminding me of a story my architect dad told us about the first senior apartments/living center he designed. When the residents moved in the ratio was about 50 women (mostly widows) to 2 widowers. Those guys never had to cook because a bunch of the widows were bringing them food all the time, and it became obvious they were all competing for these two men. At like age 85-90.

So there you go.

Lol so it’s definitely a thing then. Chicks are slick.

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

Yeah, she knew. She met her and brought it to my attention before I knew, long before the plate of food was offered.

Back then, once a year I was required to attend this black-tie event in Detroit. It’s one of those formal, corporate things. I had been bringing my wife with me to it before we married. Brought her with me that night too. I had introduced her to folks I work with before, so she already knew most of them. But the “plate of food” woman was new like a few others that started with the company that my wife hadn’t met yet. That’s how they met.

I remember it like it was yesterday. My wife wasn’t mad, she just said “That woman in the red dress likes you. The one from your department. The way she looked at you every time you spoke. The way she tried to be near you without being obvious. Kept laughing at your stories a little too hard. Yeah… she likes you. I’m not worried and I’m not mad. Just wanted you to know I saw it.” Something to that effect. But she waited until we got to the car after the event was over to tell me. Long story short, she brought it to my attention so I handled it.

My wife has incredibly good discernment. A wife can sense (even without proof) when something “feels off.” It’s not paranoia, it’s discernment. Women know when another woman’s kindness has undertones, because they know the language behind the smiles. For some women, attention from a married man feels like a bigger “win” than attention from a single man. It’s twisted, but they see it as proof they’re desirable enough to pull someone already claimed. That’s why a lot of them don’t care. That’s all it is.

LMAO! She caught her ass. I get it though, I wouldn’t have caught it. Knowing me, I’d have accepted the plate of food offer not knowing. I didn’t know that was a thing until ol girl said it and what y’all are saying here.

After your wife told you what she saw, you shot that chick down fast Lol. You didn’t leave ambiguity or room for her to try again. And you were kind enough not to embarrass her, but clear enough that she wouldn’t misunderstand. I like that in you, PB.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands

After your wife told you what she saw, you shot that chick down fast Lol. You didn’t leave ambiguity or room for her to try again. And you were kind enough not to embarrass her, but clear enough that she wouldn’t misunderstand. I like that in you, PB.

I concur. PB handled it exactly how he should have, very direct, and he kept the door closed. No room for cracks.

[cheerfulgreek]

So…. this is my two cents on the plate thingie…

I just think people act like it’s harmless, but it’s never just about the food. Another woman offering to make a married man a plate isn’t being generous, she’s positioning herself. I mean, it’s not hard to see. I see why it could be for guys to catch on, but for women? Um… no. Not hard at all. We can see it.

And I’ll be honest, I don’t cook, as everyone on here knows, lol. I’ve never been good at it so I just don’t do it at all. Thankfully, I married a man who not only enjoys cooking, he’s excellent at it. But just because I don’t cook doesn’t mean someone else gets to do it for him. I mean, I keep Mr. CG “well fed” without knowing how to cook (trust me, he’s not starving), therefore he doesn’t need unsolicited servings from another kitchen.

At the end of the day, it’s never about the plate of food, it’s about the seat at the table. And that seat is taken.

And WIFLSRN to women who attempt to cross that boundary? Bon appétit somewhere else.

[Phrozen Sands]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

So…. this is my two cents on the plate thingie…

I just think people act like it’s harmless, but it’s never just about the food. Another woman offering to make a married man a plate isn’t being generous, she’s positioning herself. I mean, it’s not hard to see. I see why it could be for guys to catch on, but for women? Um… no. Not hard at all. We can see it.

And I’ll be honest, I don’t cook, as everyone on here knows, lol. I’ve never been good at it so I just don’t do it at all. Thankfully, I married a man who not only enjoys cooking, he’s excellent at it. But just because I don’t cook doesn’t mean someone else gets to do it for him. I mean, I keep Mr. CG “well fed” without knowing how to cook (trust me, he’s not starving), therefore he doesn’t need unsolicited servings from another kitchen.

At the end of the day, it’s never about the plate of food, it’s about the seat at the table. And that seat is taken.

And WIFLSRN to women who attempt to cross that boundary? Bon appétit somewhere else.

LMAO! I hollered!

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands

LMAO! I hollered!

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands

True. I forgot about that saying. Would you be upset if a chick made TKE Dude a plate of food? Lol. Is that a thing with you too?

I wouldn't be upset because I trust him and I know where his heart is. But, much like PB's wife did, I would point it out to him.

Originally Posted by AGDee

They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Feeding someone is one of my love languages for sure. I love to cook for him and have him really enjoy it. Whether it's a meal or baked goods.

Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands

TKE Dude after AGDee made him is first meal LOL!
https://youtu.be/suGUHx37Ih0?si=YQrwkAJe1NZAmqnU

He still talks about the home made spaghetti sauce I made him for his birthday in his dorm room 40 years ago so... yeah.

I made him an omelette yesterday morning with ham, bacon and a 16 year aged wisconsin cheddar and he was all over that. He went on and on about it all day.

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands

Lol so it’s definitely a thing then. Chicks are slick.


LMAO! She caught her ass. I get it though, I wouldn’t have caught it. Knowing me, I’d have accepted the plate of food offer not knowing. I didn’t know that was a thing until ol girl said it and what y’all are saying here.

After your wife told you what she saw, you shot that chick down fast Lol. You didn’t leave ambiguity or room for her to try again. And you were kind enough not to embarrass her, but clear enough that she wouldn’t misunderstand. I like that in you, PB.

Thanks, man. For me, it wasn’t about protecting myself, I’ve never been drawn to anyone else. Just my wife. The way I see it — as a husband, it’s my responsibility to protect my wife’s place, to cover her so she never feels disrespected or competed with.

When she showed me what was going on, I didn’t take it personally, I took it seriously. That woman wasn’t just offering food, she was testing a boundary. I shut it down because I’m not leaving cracks for disrespect to walk through.

I didn’t embarrass her, but I made sure there was no doubt, no invitations, no open doors, and no chance for confusion. For me, it’s all about being accountable to God for how I honor my wife and guard what He gave me.

That’s how I protect peace in my home. That’s how I protect her heart.

That said, I may not have caught the early signs from that woman, without my wife bringing it to my attention, but I know I’d have had sense enough to know not to accept a plate of food from her. Regardless. Hayle to the naw! I’m not stupid. 😂

[Phrozen Sands]

Originally Posted by AGDee

He still talks about the home made spaghetti sauce I made him for his birthday in his dorm room 40 years ago so... yeah.

I made him an omelette yesterday morning with ham, bacon and a 16 year aged wisconsin cheddar and he was all over that. He went on and on about it all day.

Damn! You must really can cook if he went back to some 40 year old spaghetti sauce LOL.

When a woman can cook, that does something to me. It makes me like her more, so I guess that saying is true. I think that’s true with most or all dudes to a degree.

@ CG, I guess you’re an exception to the rule since you can’t cook worth a damn Lol. But you know what I said about that. Your situation also has a rule.

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

Thanks, man. For me, it wasn’t about protecting myself, I’ve never been drawn to anyone else. Just my wife. The way I see it — as a husband, it’s my responsibility to protect my wife’s place, to cover her so she never feels disrespected or competed with.

When she showed me what was going on, I didn’t take it personally, I took it seriously. That woman wasn’t just offering food, she was testing a boundary. I shut it down because I’m not leaving cracks for disrespect to walk through.

I didn’t embarrass her, but I made sure there was no doubt, no invitations, no open doors, and no chance for confusion. For me, it’s all about being accountable to God for how I honor my wife and guard what He gave me.

That’s how I protect peace in my home. That’s how I protect her heart.

That said, I may not have caught the early signs from that woman, without my wife bringing it to my attention, but I know I’d have had sense enough to know not to accept a plate of food from her. Regardless. Hayle to the naw! I’m not stupid. 😂

Call me stupid then because I’d have told her to bring me a plate, not knowing LOL. For real.

[Sciencewoman]

Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands

When a woman can cook, that does something to me. It makes me like her more, so I guess that saying is true.

Call me stupid then because I’d have told her to bring me a plate, not knowing LOL. For real.

Sounds like you better make an advance reservation at a local senior living center and get ready for a lot of plates, lol!

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands

Damn! You must really can cook if he went back to some 40 year old spaghetti sauce LOL.

When a woman can cook, that does something to me. It makes me like her more, so I guess that saying is true. I think that’s true with most or all dudes to a degree.

@ CG, I guess you’re an exception to the rule since you can’t cook worth a damn Lol. But you know what I said about that. Your situation also has a rule.
.