Cover Causes Controversy

[Jimmy Choo]

Originally Posted by ZTAMiami

Most babies do not lose their tongue thrust reflex until about 6 months. Some take longer. This is a natural protective measure to keep anything but a nipple out of their mouths.

Very informative!!! Now this I did not know!

[Jimmy Choo]

Originally Posted by Scandia

But it can be shown as an option, not a requirement.

Also, in some establishments, it is harder to nurse in the public area. Say, Wal-Mart or Target may not really have seats where you can comfortably sit down and nurse a baby in peace.

Even showing it as an option can be offense to some people. The only reason that I know about this at all comes from personally experience. Once I offered our lounge to a mother. She was thrilled that we had one and I thought everything was fine. My boss overheard and was livid with me. That was when I found out it was law b/c by offering that to someone who did ask for it it can be perceived that I am denying her her public right to breastfeed. While I may not personally agree with that law I have to abide by it. I do see the reasoning and logic behind it. Just b/c I asked the lady "Would you like to use our lounge so you can sit down?" another establishment with less tact could say "We have a lounge and a highly recommend you go use." While both are offers, one clearly is not an "offer" if you catch my drift. In the example I gave the woman could have turned around and fussed at me thinking I was trying to publicly shun her. I got lucky.

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by DeltAlum

That was a brilliant post.

Mrs. DA was one of the very first lactation consultants, working for a group of OB/GYN's in the Detroit area who founded "The Family Birthing Center" at Providence Hospital in Southfield.

As a hijack... my mom worked at Providence her whole career and has been a patient there for 26 of the last 33 days... I love seeing people get off on the third floor.. I call it The Happy Floor of the hospital because folks are smiling when they go there.

Back to the thread: I don't think anybody is arguing whether breast milk or formula is better. For most babies, all the evidence says that breast milk is better.

I simply never found it necessary to feed either of my babies in public(breast fed or bottle.. I did both). I made plans around their schedule.

[VandalSquirrel]

My sister had a baby July 25th and has been breastfeeding exclusively, though my nephew was being a little difficult with latching on and lost weight so she stayed in the hospital an extra couple days. The birthing center had a lactation consultant which really seemed to help and I hope that more hospitals follow that trend to try and avoid formula if at all possible.

She has lost over 34 pounds since then, and his goal was to be back at birthweight (6lbs, 12oz) by his well baby checkup last week. The little piglet was 8.5 lbs! I haven't heard about any problems with feeding while not at home yet but she works from home and that is likely a factor in not having issues yet. Sounds like a quick way to lose weight if it wasn't for the whole infant issue.

[Taualumna]

Originally Posted by ecupidelta

It could be interpreted as not allowing a mom to feed in public. So to protect the mom's right to feed and to ensure businesses don't do something that could get them sued, you can not offer the room unless you are asked.

What about a no (outside) food/drink policy? It works well for non-babies. Seriously though, I think moms should lighten up. If you (as an adult) don't eat everywhere, then neither should a baby. Besides, some believe that it isn't proper to eat anywhere other than in proper dining places.

When I was a baby, my mother was asked to feed me outside of the restaurant because she brought in outside food. She was a tad upset, but she didn't speak with management or anything like that.

[preciousjeni]

Originally Posted by Taualumna

What about a no (outside) food/drink policy? It works well for non-babies. Seriously though, I think moms should lighten up. If you (as an adult) don't eat everywhere, then neither should a baby. Besides, some believe that it isn't proper to eat anywhere other than in proper dining places.

When I was a baby, my mother was asked to feed me outside of the restaurant because she brought in outside food. She was a tad upset, but she didn't speak with management or anything like that.

[DeltAlum]

Originally Posted by AGDee

As a hijack... my mom worked at Providence her whole career and has been a patient there for 26 of the last 33 days... I love seeing people get off on the third floor.. I call it The Happy Floor of the hospital because folks are smiling when they go there.

Another aside.

I worked just down the street at WJBK-TV from 1977-82, Bach when it was a CBS station. Mrs. DA's sister recently had Breast Cancer surgery at Beaumont. I was chatting with a widow who lives on our block a few weeks ago and mentioned Detroit and she told me her late husband was a doctor at Beaumont for many years.

What a small world it really is.

Just a word about a comment ZTAMiami made. A husband can have an important role in the Breastfeeding relationship as a support to his wife. This is particularly true when dealing with parents, in-laws and well meaning friends who either give bad advice or question decisions. A nursing mom can be fairly fragile, and a supportive husband can deflect those comments and problems.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by Taualumna

What about a no (outside) food/drink policy? It works well for non-babies. Seriously though, I think moms should lighten up. If you (as an adult) don't eat everywhere, then neither should a baby. Besides, some believe that it isn't proper to eat anywhere other than in proper dining places.

When I was a baby, my mother was asked to feed me outside of the restaurant because she brought in outside food. She was a tad upset, but she didn't speak with management or anything like that.

Hi...you're a grown woman, and if you don't eat you might get cranky (more then ususal), but you don't scream and cry (well, maybe you do, I don't know). Babies do. They're not adults for a reason (even if they may be taller then you). Babies don't care about proper, and they don't care where you are. They just know they're hungry, and are going to scream until that is fixed. A newborn can eat every 1-2 hours, and life doesn't stop because you have a baby.

[Taualumna]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Hi...you're a grown woman, and if you don't eat you might get cranky (more then ususal), but you don't scream and cry (well, maybe you do, I don't know). Babies do. They're not adults for a reason (even if they may be taller then you). Babies don't care about proper, and they don't care where you are. They just know they're hungry, and are going to scream until that is fixed. A newborn can eat every 1-2 hours, and life doesn't stop because you have a baby.

No, it's more like people today are more likely to get upset AND do something about that situation if they aren't allowed to do something. My mother was upset because she wasn't allowed to bring baby food into a restaurant, but she promptly took me out and fed me elsewhere. We didn't go back to that place until I was old enough to eat "grown up" food. Maybe people back in the 80s were less sensitive.

[PenguinTrax]

yeah, I've got a blog post about this one, and there's a nice content thread on BlogHER about it, too.

http://penguintrax.com/chatter/?p=73

[PenguinTrax]

Originally Posted by ZTAMiami

Of all the choices I have made in parenting my daughter, breastfeeding is one thing I have never doubted. I know I did the right thing.

DITTO!

My advice to any future mom and dads is to seek support during pregnancy. Don't wait until you have a problem. Remember that doctors have no formal training in human lactation unless they have sought it out on their own. Its not covered in medical school. Also don't listen to advice from women who never breastfed or have had a bad experience. Many moms are out to sabotage other womens breastfeeding experiences due to guilt or anger. Sad but true.

Very sad and very true. I had a shouting match with my mother the day I came home from the hospital about the fact that I wanted to nurse my baby, not feed him. Still makes me angry. It was only until my mother got proof that he was growing that she let up and started to offer limited support, which did continue to grow as my son did.

[33girl]

OK another post that shows I'm 1) from a small town 2) old.

The Soroptimists (I think) used to have a "ladies lounge" in our downtown. Mom33 & I used it for the restrooms, but I'm guessing they had a breast-feeding area as well. Needless to say, it's long gone.

We really do need to have nice, enclosed lounges (not sitting on the toilet - do you eat on the toilet? I didn't think so, why should your baby?) for breastfeeding mothers and for mothers in general to take their kids to change diapers, eat etc. I don't really care for seeing little Cody's winky in my face in the diaper changing area of the ladies room, while we're on this whole discussion (especially since sometimes little Cody is old enough to yell "hi!" as I walk by).

I know parents are used to all this stuff and don't think twice about it - but not everyone is. Not everyone is in love with your child like you are. And there are some people (i.e. women who are trying to conceive and can't, women who've just miscarried) who really don't want to see all that at the present moment.

I'm not advocating keeping the kids home till they're 18, just that other peoples' feelings need to be considered as well.

[PM_Mama00]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I know parents are used to all this stuff and don't think twice about it - but not everyone is. Not everyone is in love with your child like you are. And there are some people (i.e. women who are trying to conceive and can't, women who've just miscarried) who really don't want to see all that at the present moment.

I'm not advocating keeping the kids home till they're 18, just that other peoples' feelings need to be considered as well.

AMEN.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I know parents are used to all this stuff and don't think twice about it - but not everyone is. Not everyone is in love with your child like you are. And there are some people (i.e. women who are trying to conceive and can't, women who've just miscarried) who really don't want to see all that at the present moment.

Of course, those people who don't want to see all that at the present moment basically don't want to see a baby at all -- makes little difference whether the baby is nursing or sleeping. Maybe couples shouldn't go to restaurants on dates, because people whose significant others just broke up with them or people who've realized they're never going to find a significant other really don't want to see all that at the present moment.

I'm all for being sensitive to the feelings of others, but even that can be taken too far. It's a nursing baby. As long as the baby is nursing discreetly, deal with.

When we would go out, we didn't take the kids anywhere that wasn't child-friendly to begin with. If we thought nursing might need to occur, we asked for a table where Ms. MysticCat could sit out of up-front view, and she would chose the seat where her back would be to the dining room. She would wear nursing clothes that made it possible to nurse without stripping. And she would use a blanket to give the kid some privacy.

A little common sense from all sides goes a long way.

[33girl]

OK, with the "couples" example you're getting ridiculous.

I'm not criticizing the parents who take the kids out, I'm criticizing our stupid society for not doing things that would go a long way to make EVERYONE feel comfortable.

Not to mention the people who feel such a sense of entitlement at being parents that a request for "discretion" gets interpreted as "you hate children and the family and you're evil." If you can walk through Target nursing with no one knowing it, I could care less. The people I'm referring to are those who use no discretion or decorum at all and then think everyone should applaud them for it because OMG THEY REPRODUCED!