pre-teens and teens having sex

[James]

You think your mom was wrong? Took the incorrect approach?

Originally posted by lyrica9
not necessarily. some parents can go a long way to make sure their child knows things about sex and is well aware of the consequences/dangers and that tries to keep them from rushing into it, and still have their child go out and do things they don't want them too.

or you could have parents like my mom who pretty much encouraged it, as long as "it was safe!!!"

that's awful about the girls who start having sex young simply because they want to have kids. its also sad when sex is something done to gain popularity.
but i think for a lot of kids it might just be because they're curious.
or think they can handle it.

[lyrica9]

i think she was right to encourage safe sex.
i think she was wrong to present sex as something that was no big deal. ie, talking about 13 year olds being crazy, i can recall my mother asking me when i was 13 about a guy i thought was cute. her words were "so you wanna fuck him?"
i guess in retrospect i wish she would have been a little more stern about it.

[James]

Reverse psychology maybe?

Sex isn't a big deal if its safe in terms of absolute consequences.

Emotional ones are a bit harder to guage.

Originally posted by lyrica9
i think she was right to encourage safe sex.
i think she was wrong to present sex as something that was no big deal. ie, talking about 13 year olds being crazy, i can recall my mother asking me when i was 13 about a guy i thought was cute. her words were "so you wanna fuck him?"
i guess in retrospect i wish she would have been a little more stern about it.

[Rio_Kohitsuji]

Originally posted by ktkennyd


"Kissing is a hobby Fucking is a game guys get all da pleasure gurls get all da pain da guy says he loves u,U belive its true but wen ure tummy starts 2 swell he says ta hell wit u 10 minutes of pleasure 9 months of pain 3 days in da hospital a baby wit out a name,da baby is a bastard da mother is a whore this would of never happened if the rubber wouldnt have torn!!"

I'll explain this for you

Kissing is a hobby- Kissing isn't a big deal, just something that you enjoy
Fucking is a game- Having sex is also not a big deal, people just play with it not taking it seriously
Guys get all the pleasure- No pain in losing virginity or pain during sex afterwards anyway
Girls get all the pain- Pain in sex/losing the v-card
--the guy says he loves you-- Girls at this age typically believe they will are truley in love and are capable of being in love to this multitude, therefore they "show" their love for him by having sex--
tummy starts to swell/hell with you- The girl gets pregnant, boys at this age don't know how to handle it, so they leave the pregnant girl
10 mins pleasure/9 monthes of pain- length of typical teen sex, baby-developing time
baby is a bastard- No father, therefore a "bastard" child, out of wedlock
mother is a whore- unwed teen mom, "easy" because she had sex at a young age
rubber wouldn't have torn- Whether it be "safe sex" (w/condom or birth control) or "unsafe sex" (no birth control of any kind) there is no set guarantee that you will not get pregnant.

Hope this helped.

[33girl]

I don't think anyone needed an explanation, I think everyone is just disgusted that a 13 year old would use this as her away message for everyone to see. Actually, it's pretty disgusting for anyone of any age to use.

[Rio_Kohitsuji]

Originally posted by ktkennyd
Is anyone else incredibly distrubed by this or have any clue what it means????

She asked and I answered.

Yes, it is disturbing in a way. The langauge is strong for kids that age but then again, I remember when I was that age and even now when I work w/pre teens, they use that language (thinking no one else is hearing them of course..lol).

[IowaStatePhiPsi]

I became sexually active when I was 12.
My parents were not irresponsible- they didnt know what was going on so they couldnt say anything- I think they figured out I was sexually active only when I was 15 or 16. For sure when I was about to turn 17 they knew- we had a few problems communicating and saw a counselor and the guy told me he would only tell my parents what I said he could tell them, then he turned around and told them everything.

The sex wasnt to gain popularity or anything. From 12 to 14 it was more experimenting/exploring.
15 and up has been in relationships or on dates.

The sad part of growing up is there was very little education regarding safe sex, etc. Especially for MSMs.

[Kevin]

Originally posted by IowaStatePhiPsi
The sad part of growing up is there was very little education regarding safe sex, etc. Especially for MSMs.

I think that's the big downfall of these abstinence only programs.

[Rudey]

What is an MSM?

-Rudey

[IowaStatePhiPsi]

Men who have Sex with Men-

[IowaStatePhiPsi]

Originally posted by ktsnake
I think that's the big downfall of these abstinence only programs.

*nod* It's like saying "here's a ferrari but dont touch it!" and leaving it at that.
well- when someone drives they're not going to know about seatbelts, safe driving speeds, etc if you do not teach/warn them in advance of the dangers of reckless driving, etc.

[Rudey]

Yes 12 year old boys doing it...men having sex with men...I'm about to go throw up now

-Rudey
--You'd think you wouldn't put all this personal shit out there but hey whatever floats your boat.

[James]

OH my, if you used to be a 12 year old boy having sex with girls . . I was going to say you were my idol lol . . somehow the guy on guy thing ruins it for me.

But hey to each his own.

Oddly enough, if you had sex with an older woman no one would care. If it was an older man people would be nuts.

Originally posted by IowaStatePhiPsi
Men who have Sex with Men-

[AKA_Monet]

I have a young lady who is working in my laboratory as an apprentice and she will be in the 11th grade next term. The only way I can stop her into thinking that becoming pregnant is an option for her is to tell her that it is not...

The stats hold true no matter how you slice it. There are exceptions for ever stat and we know some ladies who have been teen mothers and have "made it"--meaning, they are contributing members of society with a college education or higher, have decent paying job that can pay $1700 per month mortgages--But for the most part, women who were teen mothers and do not marry are very old by the time they hit 40 something... Compared to women who start having children in the late 20's to early 30's...

The only difference between a teen mother and woman who gets pregnant without a partner in her 30's is semantics. The older woman can find a way to make the man pay child support, whereas the younger woman is lucky to even know who the father is.

The irony to this whole thing is when I was 12 I was thinking about watching cartoons and playing outside with water guns... Forget kissing boys or running up under them. And as far as development, I was developed...

When I was 14 years old and asked my mom about what she would do if I had gotten pregnant, she said "NOOOOOOO, I am NOT taking care of no babies!!!" That stopped me in my tracks--because, I got the scare that my folks would abandon me if I slept with some boy and I would have to be homeless taking care of some idiot's child. Aside from that, my father told me that "Whaddya think? There's music when you have sex??? There ain't no music when you have sex!!!"

But, I think that for some folks, it is all that they know to find love. Folks equate love with having sex. It makes folks feel really good. That is what errogenous zones are all about. It you believe in the Tantra, then that is why the Charkras are activated during various sexual positions. In fact, some cultures developed these processes to ensure--"survival of the species"...

But in our "tech driven" world of today--especially in the 1st world countries, are pregnant girls an option for "survival of the fittest"/ supreme genius mentality??? Because a teen girl will not have the intelligence or life experience of a college educated woman... And if the teen girl was a genius, she would be stupid getting pregnant by any man who is not ready to marry her from jump.

So really, my question is, with all the capabilities our world has--like the Ansari X prize and going into outer space, what would be the incentive to having children so young?

[norcalchick]

the movie "thirteen" is a lot like this topic. it's some scary/crazy stuff. in the movie, she was doing all of those things to fit in. when your at that age, all you want to do is fit in and maybe even hang out with the "cool" kids. so when the people your trying to hang out with are having sex, doing drugs, etc, that's what your going to do. some youngins don't know all the facts (if any) about drugs and sex at that age, so they don't know that it's wrong. oh lord, at that age, they think they know EVERYTHING so you can't tell them anything. so i do think it has a lot to do with the parents, and teaching them about all of these things. they also need to know what's going on in thier kids lives. yes kids lie, but at least TRY!