Living At Home After A Certain Age

[Munchkin03]

Originally posted by DeltAlum
If I do move there, I'll be working at about 67th & 3rd, so that's the epicenter where I'll concentrate my search because I really want to walk to work, etc. if that's possible. Lots of neat stuff around there, too, as you know.

There are a fair number of studios in that price range in the Times online classifieds -- but I chatted with a realtor and he tells me that they rent in a hurry.

Be nice to hear yes or no from the potential employer so I can make a final decision.

Most people I've talked to go through the Village Voice. Brokers are good if you're from out of town and need a nice place in a pinch. I have friends who got a broker apartment for their first year and ended up someplace a little cheaper by going through either people they know or the VV.

Yeah, I really like the UES, but it just doesn't make sense for me going to school in Morningside Heights. Maybe after I'm out of here.

[Dionysus]

So...how's your relationship with your parents?

I have lost a LOT of respect for my father over the summer (long story). I'm sick of certain extended family members starting drama with our household. Once I leave, I don't know if I want to associate with my family on a regular basis. They pretty much know that and are trying to do ANYTHING to keep me home. If everything goes the way I expected, I can leave next summer! I think our relationship would've been better if I left earlier!

[ilovemyglo]

This is really interesting.
I went to college and came home to live with my parents. I had been in a really bad car accident involving a semi and still needed help. Then right after I finally finished all the therapy and surgeries I needed I tore my ACL which meant more down time (this was from 2002-2004). I had a full time job the entire time, but my parents wouldn't take money from me. They always had it in their head I would just live at home until I was married. As soon as I was recovered from my ACL tear I moved out. My parents were SO upset, but I was 24! Had I not needed help because of the situations I was in I would have been out sooner. My parents and I are EXTREMELY close, but I am too independant. Now they would HATE for me to move home.
My company shut down in April and I was out of work for two months. Because I worked for a non profit unemployment wouldn't kick in. I appealed and won, but for a month and a half I had NO income and not enough in savings to cover everything .My parents gave me a loan to tide me over. I've since paid them back, but that is how it is in my family.

[KSigkid]

Originally posted by Dionysus
So...how's your relationship with your parents?

I have lost a LOT of respect for my father over the summer (long story). I'm sick of certain extended family members starting drama with our household. Once I leave, I don't know if I want to associate with my family on a regular basis. They pretty much know that and are trying to do ANYTHING to keep me home. If everything goes the way I expected, I can leave next summer! I think our relationship would've been better if I left earlier!

My relationship with my parents is great; it's evolved enough over the years that they show that they care, but at the same time don't try to stick themselves too much into my business. They know that I have my own life and that they don't have a whole lot of control right now.

At the same time, when I had health trouble the past couple of years, they've been amazing at being able to drop what they're doing and be here as quickly as possible.

I couldn't see myself being able to live at my parents house at this point, since it's been so long since that's happened, but my relationship with them couldn't be any better.

[AnonAlumna]

Funny this is a topic right now...my husband and I were just arguing about it. He'll be separating from the service in January. We're hoping to move to another state, where we just looked at houses this weekend. He was freaked because the cost of living is a little higher there. We've got money saved and all, but I haven't been working...I'll be having our second child in November. He's just had a major injury, so he's hoping that he'll be able to fall into a military-assisted help job.

Being Hispanic, my husband comes from some of the same schools y'all have mentioned. He immediately said, "We can't afford it. We'll just move in with my mom." She has plenty of room, but I just don't think so. There are any number of reasons why adults may be forced to move back in with their parents, I just wouldn't want to!

[cashmoney]

I moved out when I was 18 and havent been back since. I come home sometimes for weekends to visit and when I finished college I went home for two months. But other than that I havent ever moved in to the rents house after leaving for college. My family and I are close. I talk to my dad everyday, mostly about business stuff, and my mother almost every other day. Usually I talk to my brother every couple of days but within the last month and a 1/2 I've been talking to him like every other day. He decided to follow my lead and went into the same field of business as I did. In doing so, he has a million questions to ask me and so we speak to each other all the time.

When I lived at home I was the bad child. I was the one who threw all the parties, always got busted. I'd have the entire cool population of my highschool at my parents house with an endless supply of beer and weed despite me not even drinking or smoking till my Senior year. I always got busted and got blamed for parties even if my brother had his friends there, too. Both of us had the police bring us home a couple of times, but my brother got arrested more. I had several girls try to say they were pregnant with my kid but DNA tests proved otherwise. If anything went wrong in our neighborhood all the neighbors blamed me or my brother. I always had the school calling my parents because of something I did that was fucked up. My friends and I got busted for writing our names on the football field's grass in diesel 3 days before graduation. We got busted for writing all of our initials all over the baseball dugouts. My crew and I got in trouble for coming to the class above our's graduation all fucked up on shroom tea and for having a 30 minute conversation with the school resource officer about how he didnt know shit. I jumped off a bridge nakked in front of the whole school and was almost expelled. And I would have been expelled had I not gotten the principal his job in the first place due to me telling him some kid brought a gun to school when I was in 7th grade and he busted him and was made principal of the highschool cause he looked tough on bad behaivor.

All that aside, I was still a good kid until I got to college and my parents and I maintain a close relationship. However, the only way I'd move home would be if I was building a house and needed free rent for the time it was being built. Other than that, you couldn't pay me to live at home again. Sometimes I get the feeling like they're always going to look at me like I'm still their little boy. I guess you can count me lucky, they do give me all the space I need. If I don't answer my phone....they stop calling and let me call them back. My girlfrined, though, her mother will call 5,6,7 times in a night if she doesnt answer....fucking bitch.

[Lindz928]

I moved 2 and a half hours away when I went to college, so 18 was probably the last time I REALLY lived at home with my mom. And I will tell you, I don't think I could ever do it again. My mom is pretty controlling. She drives me up the wall even without living under the same roof!

Living in my own place throughout college really made me independent and kind of set in my ways. I would not want to have to live under her rules again. When I would go home for vacations and stuff, I was pretty much free to come and go as I pleased, she just asked that I let her know if I was going to be really late or not come home that night. Perfectly understandable because I know she worried.

After I graduated, I considered moving back to Dallas and home, but instead decided to just pick up my life and move to a city where I didn't know anyone and just be out on my own. And I still think it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. It made me responsible for myself very quickly. She ended up moving down to Austin almost a year after I did. I know she mainly did it to be closer to me (hello- only child), but at that point, it just felt really good to have her at least in the same city again.

When money was really tight for me a few months ago, I debated whether I should move back in with her for awhile or get a teeny tiny efficiency on my own. I decided to stay on my own, mainly because it is just better for my relationship with her. We get along MUCH better when we don't live together.

I feel like right now I have the best of both worlds.... I can take care of myself and support myself, but my mom is wonderful and she is close enough that if and when I need something she can help. It is great.

I completely understand some people moving back home for awhile to get on their feet... But I don't really understand people just living at home to mooch off their parents, or guys who live at home because their mother babies them so much and they don't want to have to take care of themselves.

Also, I don't think that my family would ever be the kind to say, "You can't leave home until you're married." I'm way too independent for that.

I think alot of parent's would be proud to see their kids out there on their own trying to take care of themselves. As I told my mom, they should be proud to have raised such independent, strong, and competent adults. Not trying to say that people who live at home aren't, but you know what I mean.

Sorry for the long post.

[KSUViolet06]

I'm 20 and a senior in college. I have lived on campus since my freshman year. During the summer, I stay with friends and other family. I never came home to my parents except to wash my clothes. I haven't lived continuously with my parents since I graduated HS.

Once I graduate in December of 2006, I'll probably move home for a few months until I go back to grad school. I know I'll probably hate it since I haven't lived with them since I was 17, but they're planning on making it bearable for my by giving me the basement (which has a bathroom and mini fridge) and letting me put a key lock on it so it will be separate from the rest of the house. I also plan on paying rent, so I'm contributing.

My opinion: If you need to do it when transitioning in life or you need to get back on your feet, that's fine. Set a time limit and STICK TO IT (i.e. I'm only going to live here for 6 months). And be sure to CONTRIBUTE to the household with rent, utilities, groceries, whatever they need.

Of course there are those who don't have jobs or ambitions and are just using their parents to mooch off of because they are lazy. They aren't going to school, never have, don't plan on it, and aren't paying any rent. THAT is NOT OK.

[lifesaver]

I havent lived with family since I was 18.

Cant imagine it now. But thats just cause it woudl be wierd. If push came to shove, I could do it I guess.

[cashmoney]

In Florida we can't be moochers because there's no basements for us live in down here. And I'd be damned if I got stuck with being put in the attict.

[Tickled Pink 2]

Shoot - I WISH I could. Imagine the $$$ that could be saved (while helping with bills of course).

Let's see...
I now have a Mortgage, GAS bill, water bill, garbage bill, satellite bill, telephone bill, internet bill, insurance bill, not to mention groceries, diapers, formula, school supplies, etc.... why'd I want to grow up so fast again???

[valkyrie]

Originally posted by mullet81
i'm moving back home after i graduate and start my masters program. The school i'll be attending is just miles from my house - and since i'll be taking classes and only working part time, it just makes sense for me to live at home and save money.

Hm, interesting.

[BetteDavisEyes]

I moved out to go to college & came back when I was finally done. My job pays me enough to move out on my own if I budget myself real well but since I am to be married in January, it just made more sense to stay at home w/my mom & 2 sisters. The house Mike & I bought will be finished being built in October but he'll move in before me & I'll move in after the wedding. I don't call people losers for still living at home at any age but it does make me wonder if they have ever tried being entirely independent at least once in their lives.

[Rollergirl2001]

I have lived at the dorms until this year. I wanted to save some money since I have one more semester left.

Anyway, my great grandmother moved in with us, and things have become stressful for me. I have to share my room with my 12 year old sister and she leaves food wrappers and chip bags in my room (ewww...) I shared a room with my sister for almost all my life. I liked it until last year. I have grown tired of it. I love my family, but I NEED my own space. My friends have their own spaces. After I graduate, I will get a good job, get my driver's license and move out.

[starang21]

i moved out when i went to college. haven't lived with them since i was 18.