Pregnant Yet Interested: What are your thoughts?

[SeriousAKA]

Originally posted by Diamond007
What I am about to say is may be seen as harsh but it is my OPINION!!

It is my belief that sororities should attempt to maintain its integrity. The very breakdown of the American family is attributed by unwed pregnancies being seen as acceptable. In my book it is not! If a young lady finds herself in this situation, it is my belief that one should see this (the act, not the child) as an error. It should not be seen as okay but as an obstacle that one must and will endure/overcome. Yet society not only views having baby showers for twelve year olds and terms such as my baby daddy as cute. It is not! I do not believe that one should conduct intake process with any sorority while in this state. Once she has gotten herself, child and situation straignt then seeking membership is acceptable. Let me add only acceptable if she (Any young lady included) can be a valuable asset. If not, don't attempt membership...AT ALL! This statement includes those young ladies that do not find themselves as unwed mothers but very promiscuous. Finding self worth should be one's first priority before membership into a sorority...especially Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc.

I have to agree with that opinion! I think it's riduculus somtimes that society has made all of these things acceptable. It saddens me when I tell my grandmother that someone else is pregnant and she asks me if she is married or are they going to get married and my answer is ALWAYS no! Not to say that you should marry becasue of a child but once you decide to enter into a sexual relationship, having a child CAN happen and you should be prepared to accept the consequences. And as someone stated earlier, I believe the same should go for men. Being an unwed father and NOT taking responsiblity for your child OR children is WRONG and IRRESPONSIBLE!! I believe it reflects badly on fraternities too.

[Secretluv]

Originally posted by AKAtude


Please tell me her children are twins!

No, they aren't twins and both of her children are under the age of 10. She has a son and a daughter.

A lot of people ,both greek and non-greek (majority IG's), had a real issue with this young lady.

[Wonderful1908]

We have discussed this subject before!

As a member who was made in a large undergrad chapter, at one of the nations largest black colleges where greeklife was in the spotlight, I honestly never thought the fact that I had a child would be a reason for me to be rejected.
My role as a parent was and is my primary role, however becoming a member of a sorority was a goal of mine that I felt parenthood could not deter. From the day I crossed till the day I left my undergrad chapter (and so many days after I left) I worked for my chapter and Alpha Kappa Alpha. On my line of 57 three of us were parents, I went on the become the hostess, vice president and neophyte of the year.
Plain and simple I had a child and was unmarried. Yes I was involed in a sexual relationship with a man that resulted in a child ( and gosh since we are not married it doesn't matter that we have been together for seven years, are engaged have our degrees and good paying jobs, raising our son,etc.). Undoubtedly I would and could have prevented the situation, as an adult I obvioulsy made the a poor decision that resulted in a child. Honestly I think thats where people have a problem, I mean how can we possibly still have high and ethical standards and have members who have children out of wedlock? Thats really the question, but the issue really isn't "gosh we have a young lady who was having sex outside of mariage", the issue is we have a young lady here who has PROOF she has participated in sex outside of marriage. I am positive that no one is willing to say that any sorority consists of 100% virgins. Sex is the issue with this topic. Clearly for many, someone having a child outside of marriage may lead to some doubt in the type of decisions and ideals they hold. Having two and three kids is even more doubt. So because the proof (the child) is here, we question their worth. If I had an abortion and nobody knew, would I still be a women of high moral and ethical standards?
There is a difference from poor judgement with a resulted mistake and someone who exhibits a series of questionable behaviors follwed by countless excuses (and we know what we do with excuses). As a member I don't advocate rounding up all the pregnant/unwed mothers and making them sorors, however I would not hold that fact against anyone who had the will and the drive and qualifications to WORK hard for Alpha Kappa Alpha.

[AKA2D '91]

ttt
This should bring about a great discussion amongst our newer GC peeps.

[1savvydiva]

I really enjoyed reading this thread. I have my opinion, but since I am not a member, I'll keep it to myself. I just wanted to say that it was nice to see how GC operated back in the day, just because a topic was controversial, doesn't mean that it would get out of hand and locked (like so many topics these days on various forums)!

[CRIMSON_DIVA]

I have to agree with Wonderful1908. The fact that some people got "caught" doens't excuse those of us that haven't. While I agree that if I were pregnant I personally wouldn't be pusuing membership at that moment, it doesn't mean that at a later date I couldn't have made a dedicated and devoted soror of DST. We need to be careful when looking down at others when we know that the only thing separating us from them is a fertilized egg. However, when pursuing membership, prospectives have to be aware that people can and will look at any reason they deem necessary to or not to accept you. As Eclispe said in an earlier post it is the perogative of that chapter.

[rho4life]

Wow! That thread contains some of the best debates I've seen on this board, w/o a lot of personal attacks.

Regarding the issue at hand. This has made me realize one more question I want to ask the next time we're considering doing an intake.

For health reasons, it is a bad idea for a woman to go through her process while she is pregnant. I have witnessed several women go through their pregnancies, and each body handles it differently, with each pregnancy. There are no guarantees. Americans have acess to great healthcare compared to the rest of the world, but carrying a child is still one of the riskiest things a woman can do - in terms of her health in the short and long term.

Even if I thought a young lady would be the most amazing Soror on the planet, I could not in good faith vote in favor of starting her process while she was pregnant, either grad or undergrad. Take NINE MONTHS to focus on your health and the baby's [or babies'] health. Keep in contact with us, and once you've delivered and gotten adjusted to your new life, re-evaluate whether sorority membership is for you.

As has been stated before, Sorority membership is a privilege, NOT a right. I am not knocking those ladies who have gone through their process while pregnant, I am glad they were ok. I would advise against it. The timing just isn't right.

[Wonderful1908]

This was a good thread! Heated but discussed in an adult manner. Before we had to shut down all the foolishness. I love greekchat, but I wish we could get down like we used to without all the crashers or hurt feelings!

***Update from my previous post, we finally got married this past July. ***

[1savvydiva]

Originally posted by Wonderful1908

***Update from my previous post, we finally got married this past July. ***

Congratulations!!

[iceandivy]

I had a baby 2 years after graduation. I pledged my junior year. I never could have completed the process when I was pregnant. Especially the first few months of my pregnancy. I see how people pull it off unnoticed because I didn't show for almost 8 months. I just don't think it is safe. Even though with MIP there are no real physical limitations, it would be difficult to participate fully. Or it would have been for me.

That is of course... my opinion. And we all know that opinions are like @$$-holes. Everyone has one... some of them stink.

[Wonderful1908]

I had to bring this one to the top again!

[Confucius]

I just read this.....I didn't have a clue that the last post was in 2003!

[AKA2D '91]

LMAO!

[RedefinedDiva]

Since it's rare that people use the SEARCH function and bring old threads back to the top, I usually don't look at the dates. But when I started reading the thread and saw the number of pages there were, I saw that this thread was about four years old.

LOL!

[ladygreek]

We had two pregnant women on our last line. One had her baby three days before initiation and she never missed a beat--okay except for those few hours they keep you in the hospital. We were just happy she didn't go into labor at initiation - lol.