Dating Greek Men

[KDladyECU]

I really don't like to date greek men. I have several reasons for why I do and why I don't. First, most of them don't have time for you and pay more attention to their social life than you. However, they are good guys b/c they really know what it's like to be greek and how much work it can be sometimes. But, it really isn't my preferance to date Frat boys unless they are really good guys!

[Miami1839]

Silverblueangel,

Thats awesome

Kevin

[bearcat9181]

I would have to say there is a difference in dating a greek man as opposed to dating a non-greek man. Someone who is greek along with you will understand the commitments and responsibilities of being greek. I've found that non-greek men have the typical stereotype of greek life in their heads and it takes a lot of talking and explaining to help them understand why you're greek. While dating someone who is greek might be a little easier because they can understand your commitments I have found that they tend to party more and will have less time because they also have commitments. Either way you should find the guy that's right for you greek or not greek, it doesn't matter.

[amycat412]

I've dated both Greek and Non-Greek while I was in college AND after college.

My first impression is to say it doesn't matter. And, truly, when it comes to the challenges you face in a relationship, it doesn't.

However, someone who is greek will understand your commitments while in college, and someone who is greek will understand your commitments out of college. Someone who is greek will have had a similar college experience, and sometimes that can be invaluable in getting to know one another--you have a common ground to jump off of.




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"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." - Eleanor Roosevelt

[squirrly]

I am greek, and was dating a non-greek for several monthes before I pledged. We dated for two and a half years after I pledged, too. Although we never had any problems b/c I was Greek and he was independant, he also never really understood why my sorority is so important to me. . . he just couldn't comprehend it. He claims to be in awe of my attachment to greek life, and plans to transfer to my university and rush a fraternity in the fall.

I am now dating a greek guy from my university, and it is definitely different. He understands that my sorority is a priority for me, and he never bugs me about all the time I put into it. . . I know a lot of the other women in my chapter agree that for those of us who are really involved, dating a guy who is really involved in his fraternity is nice, because although you don't share your letters or your ritual, etc. you do share the fact that you have them, etc. Similar interests & values. . . etc.

[ULChiOCutie]

I have been dating a Phi Tau for over a year now, and he has had no problem with commitment. Yes, we have broken up several times, but that was his idea. I think that if you are greek, and your mate, they understand how busy you are, because they aree just as busy as you! But, other than that, I love my boyfriend dearly! I AM STILL WAITING FOR THAT LAVALIRE THOUGH!!! LOL!

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Loyaly in our bond,
ULChiOCutie
Check out UofLouisville's Chi Omega Website!
http://chio.webprovider.com

[BabyziIIa]

This is a cute idea for a topic. I'll put in my 2 cents. I am non greek that dated and married a frat guy. I used to be very anti frat. I dated a couple of frat guys that where incredibly immature. They seemed to think that because they were in a fraternity they were now elevated to some sort of status meaning I should be honored to date them. I don't think so. Then, I met this adorable guy at a party and dated him for a week or two beforing finding out that he was "greek." Hmmm. We decided to not date exclusively. That lasted from maybe an hour and his first letter asked me to be his girlfriend. We continued to have a long distance relationship resulting in a lavaliere then a ring. Now we have been married for almost 7 years and have two adorable kids.

His status as a "frat boy" had some effect on what I thought of him. It made me a bit wary. It also frustrated me that the frat was such a priority. There were many weekends that I would have loved to have had him home that he had a responsibilty to stay at the house. Specifially thinking of greek games, I got back by telling friends that he wasn't in town because he was busy wearing a dress. Part of the event was a Ms. (fill in the fraternity) contest. My love was representing his house. The photos will make great stories for our children some day and he drove up to visit the very next weekend. On the other hand, I loved wearing his sweatshirts and attending formals. I still love the bond that is there between the brothers and really truly feel that I have over 70 brothers-in-law.

To sum up? Yes, there are some stumbling blocks that go along with dating as non greek and greek. Not insurmountable tho. If he really really loves you, you will come first in his heart. You need to make room for the friends tho. You need to let him spend time with friends and try to understand that this is something important to him. If you can appreciate the committment he's made, who knows, maybe you will find some new friends and even change your opinion of fraternities.

[33girl]

The nice thing about dating a Greek man is that he understands your commitment to your sorority and won't have a cow when you tell him you can't see him for a weekend because of a sister retreat.

The bad thing is that he probably does have more access to women than the average Joe College...but this largely depends on the campus. Heaven knows a guy doesn't have to be Greek to be a total horndog!

Making ANY relationship work in college is hard, no matter your affiliation or lack of same!

[DopeZeta]

I would prefer to date a guy that was in a Greek Org but that doesn't mean that I will pass up a GDI. With Greekz, you can bypass a lot of worriez that you might have with GDI'z..like: Are they interested in the community, do they/have they attend(ed) college, etc.

But, a man is a man. So, it's not like I am saying that I will date a Greek b/c he is more stable/faithful. I would date one because we would have things in common to start off with...That's alwayz a good thing.

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Sweeter than sugar and as good to you as milk
DEM ZETAS are Finer Women and they smooth as silk.

[dzjen27]

I think I have a bit of an odd experience. I dated a guy who dropped his fraternity the day before initiation. I didn't start dating him until two years after the fact, but the odd part was that the brother who made a comment that fixed his decision to drop is dating my big sister. It was awkward at first, but they both got over it. The only real fights we had about me being Greek was that I was so busy with rush practice this fall that I didn't see him for three days, and we both lived on campus!

My experience with dating Greek guys hasn't been that positive, but that's just about guys in general I knew freshman year who pledged and seem to have gone downhill since then. But then there's Greek guys who are great. I think it depends on the person, not if they're Greek or not.

Jen

[DGPhoney]

Hey all , this is truly a great topic, me myself, as being greek, I tend to steer clear of my greek brothers. Now don't get me wrong, I love all of my greek brothers from SAE to Phi Beta Sigma, cause it's all about unity. But when it comes to dating, I'll have to pass, some one in this thread earlier that some male greeks act a bit immature. And I totally understand the meetings and activities, and etc, cause we all have that, but greek guys can be a total trip sometimes. I still luv ya'll though, so maybe I just don't know the right greeks, but I try not to date greeks
One and Much Love to All

[CodeBlue_R3]

To me I wouldn't say they are all immature I have found some who are very focused as far as GL or NGL I'd have to go with NGL. But letters don't make a person. If I was to go GL I'd have to go with:

There would usually be a tie between Kappas and Omegas but Kappas are winning right now for various reasons, aint that right boo. lol. Anyway then I'd have to say PBS cause the unknown Sigma known as Mandingo "boy you are tooooooooooooooooooooooooo sexy, ya heard" Has anyone else peeped him out? If not I say be at the next step show the unknowns of Florida are in. But anyway I have my Virgin Island warrior to think about.

[Intensify]

It is so difficult being a non-greek woman dating a greek man. You have to compete with the women, their frats,and their lifetime commitment the their fraternity. I have dated a member of Alpha Phi Alpha and am currently dating a member of Omega Psi Phi. Everything was fine with the first boyfriend, at first. It became a problem when I could barely get in touch with him and when I'd call him on it all he'd have to say was that I got some Alpha business to attend to or my frat needs me. I understood his commitment, but, what about me? I understood that he was an Alpha before me and he will be an Alpha after me. But, it became ridiculous. He even had the audacity to tell me that when he went to their convention, some of their "sweethearts" offered themselves to him. He says that the only reason he declined was because me and him were together. The bottom line is that his priorities were messed up. If he needed anything within reason and I could help, like the good woman that I am, I helped my man out. His frats were not there when he really needed them, I was. Now, this new relationship is a completely different story. My current man is a Que. They are predispositioned to be wild, crazy, sexual, the bad-boy type and most women love it. He's a neophyte and he's on another campus in the same city that I'm in, so, it was a lot to swallow. He's pretty mature, but, still, we'll have to see what's going to happen. It's only been about 4 months, so, it's hard to tell.

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Be true to yourself and the rest will fall into place......

[This message has been edited by Intensify (edited April 24, 2001).]

[TigerGrrrl]

hmmm...what an intriguing topic. I have actually never date anyone that WASNT greek. Granted I am only a freshman so I have time, but i have dated probably 8 different guys from various fraternities this year. Two of them more seriously, but I have basically come to the conclusion that it is more fun to stay single. Keep ur options open is my opinion. And at one time or another all guys will show u their true nature...(WOOf WOOf-DOGS!) hehe

[ILuvaPhiKap]

BabyziIIa--AMEN!

I, too, am non-greek (formerly anti-greek)... dating a greek man. I actually met him on the internet and when I found out he was greek, I was wary, but thought he was fun to talk to (didn't know many greek guys well in person, afterall). I then found out that he went to high school with a friend of mine, so I took him more seriously (it's easy to not take 'net acquaintances as seriously as real ppl sometimes, i think). we ended up becoming friends and on the verge of more-than-friends, so then we met in person and hit it off.

I have to admit to being nervous about the fraternity thing--it's a different lifestyle than one I was used to being around, but the guys really grew on me and instead of despising stereotypical greek immaturity, I started thinking of them as "adorably crude," if that's at all possible *lol* They aren't bad guys at all, but there are some antics that I have to laugh at or I'll get irritated about them (I won't go into detail here *L*)

But I should really clarify that I totally LOVE my greek guy--he is the sweetest most loyal guy I have ever met and after toughing out the long distance relationship for over a year, we're now engaged.

It really helps just to remember that guys will be guys will be guys and that they all have groups they associate with, whether they are marked by greek letters or not. I think fraternities do instill some important values in the long run, even though they take a lot of crap from surface reputation.

I don't know that I have any greek vs. non-greek stories, but I will say that it is sort of neat how greek guys are a PART of something, and sometimes non-greeks aren't. so for anybody, when you date the greeks, you have to deal with the rest of the guys in some way or another--thus making YOU a part of it, too. (I have always joked about how I haven't pledged a sorority b/c I like the guys more than I like girls *L*)

Oh well... there was my little (or long!) story