A Word of Caution to PNMs

[Jen]

Originally Posted by Chicago88

Ive been a lurker for a while now. I know how to use the search. As much as certain people preach and preach about the search function.. some just dont get it. Rather than writing back snippity, snarky, and sometimes bitchy comments to those don't search, how about they just dont get a response. Let them figure it out themselves.

Thanks. I appreciate the comments. I still think the search thread is useful.

[FleurGirl]

For the most part, I found the recruitment stories on here really helpful when I was a PNM. Granted, some of them get rediculous and it's obvious that the person witing it is only looking for sympathy, but with most of them I really identified with the girl and reading about her recruitment helped me prepare. By the time I was going through, I had read about it many, many times, to the point that it felt like I had done it already -- for me, that was huge in helping me feel prepared and not panicked.
There's certainly a right way and a wrong way to do it. Identifying your school/the sororities/yourself is probably going to come back to bite you, no matter how positive your comments are. But honestly, if someone wants to share their story on here for someone to read in the future, I see nothing wrong with it.

[Eightisgreat]

When I was in sorority in the 80's I simply don't recall recruitment being as complex as it seems now. Maybe that is because in the information age, it is possible the influx of information and who knows who, etc, via Facebook pollutes the process. Because of what I perceive to be a different type of recruitment going on, I have personally found the recruitment threads helpful to know what I can expect my daughter to be going through. And that is not important because I want to live through her, but because when Moms that have very close relationships with their daugters, its nice to know what is going on when the daughters look to their mothers for guidance and support. Allthough my daughter has read many recruitment threads and we have discussed them extensively, (always stressing "open mind") I am not so sure she would sit down and write out her thoughts and feelings on a recruitment thread. And certainly as a parent I have no problem not posting a recruitment thread if it is damaging to the child. In my social circles, 99% of my friends are actively involved in our children's lives. Are we helicopters? I don't think so. I consider myself more of a cruise director. I make sure things are on schedule, but it's not my job to do the limbo or decided what each child choices to do.

[33girl]

I don't think rush is more complex than it was back then - just that the rules are being followed more stringently. In the 80s Greek life was huge and popular and there were more than enough PNMs to go around - at ALL schools. So no one was going to bitch if a group was paying more attention to a PNM than they should, or something of the like. Then in the 90s it swung the other way - Greek life was no longer the "in" thing to do and chapters started dropping off membership wise and closing left and right. This is when they really started cracking down on things like bid promising and pre-rush contact. The national groups realized some of the things that Chapter A did at UT were hurting Chapter B at LSU. Hypocritical? Of course. But that's basically what happened.

It also costs a lot more to run a national group today - in terms of services, housing, and risk management insurance.

So that's where some of the moms don't get it. Yes, I know you got away with it then. You can't now.

There was a mom on here who was from one of the smaller national groups and went to a small school and whose daughter went to Arizona or someplace like that. She couldn't understand why DD didn't get a bid. As different as her school and her daughter's school were, I don't know why on earth she assumed rush would be the same. That's the other kind of cluelessness.

I know that most parents, if they're told "hey, you need to not talk in such detail about Lindsay's rush" will follow that directive. I guess what a lot of people don't get is what's going on in a parent's head - a parent who hasn't grown up with the internet - that compels them to have the idea to share this with the entire world at all.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Actually, constantly (versus when the context is appropriate) reminding people that something is their opinion and not everyone shares their opinion is extremely insulting and snotty whether done on GC or in real life. It assumes that people are presenting their opinion as the truth or speaking generally rather than individually. Bad assumption.

Alumiyum and some others don't mind the threads, some others don't like the threads, and there are others sitting on the fence. That reality of difference of opinions never ends a discussion unless people just get tired of discussing. LOL.

Now now, DrPhil, that is just your opinion you know.

Originally Posted by 33girl

There were 2 threads a looooooong time ago from girls going to Cali schools where they described the clothes they were wearing. Those were fun to read because they both wrote really well. I could have given a rat's rump where they actually ended up joining.

But yeah, the multiple linkage is boring.

My advice to women who want to write a recruitment story: if you're doing it to work out your emotions and feelings and confusion as you go through rush, use this

Yes, while there have been some bright points of light in an otherwise dismal or drama filled field I agree with this sentiment. For PNMs and parents a like.

Originally Posted by Chicago88

Ive been a lurker for a while now. I know how to use the search. As much as certain people preach and preach about the search function.. some just dont get it. Rather than writing back snippity, snarky, and sometimes bitchy comments to those don't search, how about they just dont get a response. Let them figure it out themselves.

Kind of like how this was a bitchy response following several really helpful comments? Maybe next time you just shouldn't have posted at all.

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

I find referring to recruitment threads as "circle jerks"/"mental masturbation", PNMs as dumb, parents who post as helicopter parents, personal insults, and the assumption that recruitment threads have nothing at all to contribute to be extremely insulting and snotty. We all have our pet peeves and such.

Pretty much everything Drolefille, myself, and others have posted on the topic can be summed up in the bolded of your post.

Have we had very stupid PNMs? Yes. Have we had PNMs who were smart yet incredibly boring? Yes. Have we had helicopter parents? Oh yes. None of that is assumption or insulting it is fact. Never did I say all of these things were true of every PNM, but that these things were true of recruitment threads in general.

So you were insulted over nothing. Unless the use of a masturbatory metaphor is itself insulting to you, despite the fact that it is SPOT ON what happens in those threads.

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

Just as much as stooping to insults or snotty remarks is par for the course for you. I don't feel like putting up with it today.

I am not missing the point at all. The point is, you don't like these threads. You think they're a bad idea and a waste of time. Of course, the point is also that not everyone feels that way. They are allowed. If people wish to share, great. If they screw themselves over, that sucks. IMO it's not "our" responsibility to babysit.

Oh no, you're not putting up with my reign of eTerror. Whatever. Will. I . do. Now.

I'm really glad you let me know it was your opinion though, I wouldn't have known otherwise. In my opinion, you don't know how to have a discussion that isn't about the weather as every time you're involved in one, you look ridiculous.

Oh wait, that was snotty and insulting. Luckily I prefaced it with the fact that it was only my opinion.

[Chicago88]

My comment was not meant to be bitchy and that was posted after I saw the search thread response by Jen. In no way did I mean it to come off that way. Last time I checked GC was open to whoever and whatever wants to be said.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by Chicago88

Last time I checked GC was open to whoever and whatever wants to be said.

Then why would you tell people not to say snarky, bitchy responses?

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by knight_shadow

Then why would you tell people not to say snarky, bitchy responses?

It's like the irony went WOOOOOSH.

[Chicago88]

I didnt tell them not to, there are some very forward women on this website. Its inevitable. Opinions will clash. I could care less whats said to others on here, most of it is none of my business anyway. I was just suggesting that rather than wasting your time preaching about the search button say nothing at all but I think some get satisfaction out of the bitchiness, but by all means. I'm ready for the bitchiness to be flung at me for this statement.

[Regina.George]

Originally Posted by Chicago88

My comment was not meant to be bitchy and that was posted after I saw the search thread response by Jen. In no way did I mean it to come off that way. Last time I checked GC was open to whoever and whatever wants to be said.

Originally Posted by Chicago88

I didnt tell them not to, there are some very forward women on this website. Its inevitable. Opinions will clash. I could care less whats said to others on here, most of it is none of my business anyway. I was just suggesting that rather than wasting your time preaching about the search button say nothing at all but I think some get satisfaction out of the bitchiness, but by all means. I'm ready for the bitchiness to be flung at me for this statement.

This is the part where you should stop posting. You are precariously close to annoying or downright offending the people who are trying to help you.

[Chicago88]

Likewise Regina.George. And like whoever said earlier or maybe in another thread, whats annoying or offensive to you might not be to another. Someone else can make a comment and I cant?

p.s totally random but I just watched mean girls the other day and it reminded me how I really liked lindsay lohan pre rehab stints and drug busts.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by Chicago88

Likewise Regina.George. And like whoever said earlier or maybe in another thread, whats annoying or offensive to you might not be to another. Someone else can make a comment and I cant?

1. By all means, comment all you want. It's a discussion board, after all. However,...

2. Not all of us are PNMs looking for advice about recruitment at a specific university. What I say here is not going to affect me as much as what you say will affect you.

[Regina.George]

Originally Posted by Chicago88

Likewise Regina.George. And like whoever said earlier or maybe in another thread, whats annoying or offensive to you might not be to another. Someone else can make a comment and I cant?

p.s totally randon but I just watched mean girls the other day before work haha. poor lindsay lohan.

But those people aren't sophomore transfer students looking to rush at a small school like TCU. They're the people who can make sure that doesn't go so well. Which is what this thread started out being about. Capeche?

[Chicago88]

TCU is not quite as small as it seems, and if someone can identify me by just my sophmore standing then they must be some serious creepers. If someone wants make sure my rush experience ends before it begins then I cant stop them. I'm going to assume that wasn't meant to "scare" me. It was my opinion on the situation, I am allowed to express that opinion. You don't have to agree and thats fine. Its not like I'm forcing it on all of Greek Chat. I was making an observation.

[Regina.George]

Originally Posted by Chicago88

TCU is not quite as small as it seems, and if someone can identify me by just my sophmore standing then they must be some serious creepers. If someone wants make sure my rush experience ends before it begins then I cant stop them. I'm going to assume that wasn't meant to "scare" me. It was my opinion on the situation, I am allowed to express that opinion. You don't have to agree and thats fine. Its not like I'm forcing it on all of Greek Chat. I was making an observation.

QFP.