Did you all know.....

[NoLongerGreek]

This is all too interesting (and hilarious)... I did a massive paper on Barbie for a Women's Studies class.

Did y'all know that if Barbie was a human being she would have to walk on all fours like a monkey? She's so ill-proportioned there would be no way her waist would hold up the upper half of her body. She would be well over six feet tall and probably have severely mauled feet from walking on her toes for 50 years, as well as some serious internal organ problems because she would have an 18 inch waist.

I gotta say the most disappointing day in this history of Barbie (to me) was the day Barbie got a VISA card and went shopping. Sad sad sad....

I worked at Toys R Us for a year as well, and let me tell you some of those discontinued Barbies were pretty umm... interesting.

And Ken gets even more strange every year. Last I saw he was a figure skater wearing some sort of shiny disco-ball lookin' shirt with tights... *shrug*

[ZChi4Life]

Disco/Figure Skater Ken! LMAO! I can see it now.
Wait, do they still make Ken w/ "real" hair now? Remember they came out w/ that? Like, is that supposed to make Ken popular w/ guys or something? I didn't get it, but it was sooo funny!

Originally posted by NoLongerGreek:
This is all too interesting (and hilarious)... I did a massive paper on Barbie for a Women's Studies class.

Did y'all know that if Barbie was a human being she would have to walk on all fours like a monkey? She's so ill-proportioned there would be no way her waist would hold up the upper half of her body. She would be well over six feet tall and probably have severely mauled feet from walking on her toes for 50 years, as well as some serious internal organ problems because she would have an 18 inch waist.

I gotta say the most disappointing day in this history of Barbie (to me) was the day Barbie got a VISA card and went shopping. Sad sad sad....

I worked at Toys R Us for a year as well, and let me tell you some of those discontinued Barbies were pretty umm... interesting.

And Ken gets even more strange every year. Last I saw he was a figure skater wearing some sort of shiny disco-ball lookin' shirt with tights... *shrug*

[James]

Originally posted by etienneSAI:
zchi4life,

one more quick thing: i'd be VERY interested to know what the guys on this board think about this whole conversation. i know they've gotta be sitting at thier computers, reading these posts and thinking "no WONDER i still don't understand women...i'm trying to create serious topics and they're talking about barbie dolls". but we ladies ALL know this is a VERY serious topic...

etienne
sigma alpha iota

As a male I thought the whole topic was funny, and was reading the thread while chuckling to myself until I came across the part of etienne's post that went:

he matched barbie's dress, whipped litle bitch that he was.

At which point I have to confess I completely lost it for a few minutes in the middle of a school computer lab! I had tears in my eyes! ROFL.

I am reasonably recogizable on campus as a Fraternity president, Greek council VP, and Student Government Rep. So everyone wanted to know what was so funny . . .

And of course I couldn't tell them that it was a web conversation about Barbie dolls, which just made me laugh harder . . .

But you are right, Ken was a little pansy, and I'm glad my GI Joe figures captured him and had him put to death years ago
(the guy was sniveling to the end).

However, since he was such a pansy, and since ZChi4Life pointed out they never got married, isn't it possible that Ken was just her back-up? As Chris Rock put it: "penis under glass".

Poor bastard . . . to be strung along for 20 years! What a tease! (although she did "keep" the deadbeat loser)

(Sorry, couldn't resist commentating, its a nice break from planning Recruitment, Dues schedules, and disciplinary hearings)

[This message has been edited by James (edited September 16, 2000).]

[Texas Alum]

James - thanks for the input! IMHO, men would have conversations JUST LIKE THIS about G.I. Joe, and the Star Wars and He-Man dolls (not "action figures", just suck it up and admit they are dolls). My little brother was always kidnapping my Barbies so they could be G.I. Joe's girlfriend (you see, she IS a hussy) - and I would take them back because... whatever, Barbie is about seven inches tall and G.I.Joe was about three inches tall and MY Barbie was not datin' no short short man!

The bride and groom Barbies were Tracy and Todd.

ZChi4Life - I DID have the Twirler Curl Barbie, only mine was called Golden Curl Barbie, and she came in this FINE gold lame pantsuit, and also came with a "curling iron" that was held together by one of those little round rubber bands that went on braces....

Now, I hate to admit this - but no-one ever explained to me that the copper wires in the Barbie's head were for curling purposes! (I was about seven) I didn't understand that the point was to take a lock of Barbie hair (with wires in it), roll it on the fake curling iron, and then it would be curled. And the wires got in the way - you couldn't use Barbie's little brush and comb very well with them.

So.... I cut all the wires out! They were anchored at her hairline on her forehead. Only, with my plastic safety scissors, I couldn't really cut close enough to Barbie's scalp to get the whole wire off, so they were still there, but really super short. So my Golden Curl Barbie had this little wiry mohawk ridge running along the front of her head, and the d@mned hair never would curl.

What a disappointment... I think I ended up donating that one to the G.I. Joe cause...

[etienneSAI]

i TOLD you all she was a slut...now you see!

james, i can TOTALLY see a guy just falling out, reading this post! i read it all over again after it was sort of idle for a while and just started cracking up. it really is hilarious! ken WAS a whipped little bitch...everyone KNOWS he worked hard for his money and barbie just spent it on her '57 chevy, the porsche and that stupid horse that couldn't even trot. she knew what was up. and i guarantee ou that if women could get away with tha, and it was socially acceptable like it is in "barbieland", we'd all be doing it. who'd pass up shopping and vacationing in her "pool" *you know, the one you could float in the bathtub??* if her whipped little bitch of a man would be working? talk about a throwback to the fifties, but hey...we can dream, can't we?

etienne
sigma alpha iota
**the opinions expressed in this post, or topic, for that matter, do NOT reflect the opinions of SAI, cause my sisters would kill me if they knew i was writing about this...**

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"red is the color of music and has been since the very earliest of times. the caps of faeries and musicians are well-nigh always red."~*~w.b.yeats

"I think that happiness is when you can let yourself feel every emotion you want at any time instead of being a lying little fuck." - Tori Amos

[MsDetroit1920]

This is the funniest thread I have ever read!

I have a question,
WHERE THE HECK IS BARBIE'S PARENTS?
I heard she was a testtube baby!

MsDetroit1920

[This message has been edited by MsDetroit1920 (edited September 19, 2000).]

[straightBOS]

Originally posted by MsDetroit1920:

I have a question,
WHERE THE HECK IS BARBIE'S PARENTS?
I heard she was a testtube baby!

Thats a good question girl because.....(drum roll, please!)

BARBIE AND KEN ARE BROTHER and SISTER!!!!
YEs, it is TRUE!! The original creator of the two dolls named them after her son and daughter. I was laughing so hard when I read the posts about the wedding, pregnancy, etc.
I remember those dolls.

So I guess you now know the truth. The Barbie/Ken saga is the longest running episode of Jerry Springer.
Good night to all.

[lifesaver]

OK, not to bring all this up again, but apparently she is running for president again this election cycle. She must be the mattel version of that Liberterian candidate who ran for president every cycle for like 40 years. Anyway, what I wanna know is why she gotta have the Elizabeth Dole hairdo? See link below:
http://kidscollecting.about.com/kids.../aa043000a.htm

also, apparently she has a platform at:
http://barbie.com/girls/wob/bfp/

the site is down now. I think her campaign staff pulled it down since her numbers are off in the latest Gallup poll. Apparently her perscription medicare plan needs some retooling and there were some numerical discrepancies in her social security proposal that were pointed out at the last mattel debate. So I think her staff is working on the site. Since I am disgusted with both Gore and Bush, I FINALLY know who I am voting for for president! If she won would that make Ken the "first whipped bitch?"

[lifesaver]

Originally posted by etienneSAI:
zchi4life,

tracy and todd?! i CAN'T believe you came up with that...you're RIGHT! tracy had red hair! i remember i thought that was cool cause i have red hair too.

NO F****G WAY!!

There is a redheadded Barbie? yall are gonna laugh ya'lls asses of at this, but every pledge class we have goes on a scavenger hunt (yeah they're illegal, yada yada - it's stupid stuff like meet up with us and serenade our girlfriends and stuff) anyway, since I transfered to this chapter one of the items on the hunt has always been a redheaded barbie! I kid you not! Legend has it that it was put there to test the pledges creativity, because we understood that there was no such thing. But I can GUARENTEE that I WILL NOT be the one to stand up this scavenger hunt time in front of the whole chapter and tell them that, "Excuse me, but there is in fact a red headded barbie, and her name is Traci. She was friends with Barbie and married a guy named Todd!" Could you all imagine how far I'd get my ass beat down?! I wouldn't even make it out the door. I'd be rolled in the parking lot. No, they wouldn't even FIND my body.

[Allie_XO]

I have a funny story about Barbie. I was the type of girl that played with GI Joes. Like everyone here has said, Barbie was a hussy so I didn't want anything to do with her. Anyway, I went to an Easter Egg hunt one year (I think I was 4 or 5 years old). The girls and boys were seperated into different egg patches, and off we went. The object was to find the Golden Egg. There were lots and lots of eggs, but if you found the Golden Egg, you got a "big prize." Well, guess what - I got the golden egg on the girls side. Well, there were two prizes - a Barbie and a GI Joe set. I got to pick my prize first, so naturally I picked the GI Joe. The grown ups were shocked and kept asking me "Are you sure that is what you want??" Of course I was sure, so I got the GI Joe and some poor boy got a Barbie. And I couldn't figure why my family was mad at me - I found the Golden Egg didn't I?

Allie

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Some of my collegues think that the chemicals we are experimenting with cause brain damage, however I think that fish crunchy bits of salami my new red hippie noodle. Naked pool frogs?

[bucutie02]

12dn94dst, thanks for brining this back up. It is so funny!

[AlphaChiGirl]

I am a Barbie-freak. I had HUNDREDS when I was a little girl (and a big-@ss dollhouse), and now I collect them. Yes, it's Barbie Millicent Roberts, and I forgot what Ken's last name is. I have all these books, it's madness. For some real laughs, go on ebay under "barbie". The nuttiest stuff is on there.

[Hootie]

I think the REAL reason Barbie never married Ken is because secretly she was from the late 90's and new that she had to be an Independant Woman. She knew deep down that Ken would probably cheat on her and take her money and leave her broken hearted...therefore she played him and focused on her career ambitions (all 1,000 of them)!
For that reason (and that reason alone) Barbie is a TRUE role model (j/k).



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What do you get when you cross and Alpha Omicron Pi and a Sigma Phi Epsilon? A beautiful Chi Omega!!!

[Miami1839]

The girls in H.S. thought I resembled Ken. No barbies or Ken dolls for me. Only GI Joes for me.

[12dn94dst]

Bucutie02,

Here it is! The "Barbie" thread!

Adding to the Barbie madness, she has a new baby sister named Krissy (I just saw the commercial). And I believe this question still remains: Where the heck are Barbie's parents?!?