Recipe to a Happy Marriage - Page 4

SummerChild · #1 04-26-2006, 05:16 PM

Rain Man, I hear you. If I have to hedge my bets, why play around with it at all? We can just stay long-term committed.

I don't think that pre-nups are the antithesis of love but I think that you can't take a vow to love ... "till death do you part" and really mean it on one hand, but also take action for the disposition of property upon the occasion of divorce (which is as we all know, not "till death do you part").

But whatever floats someone's boat. Maybe the vows should be changed to "till we determine that we have irreconciable differences, in which case we shall resort to the pre-nup." That would be more accurate.

I can't say that I blame folk who get a pre-nup though. To each her/his own. HOWEVER, I will not be signing one.

SC

Quote:

Originally posted by Rain Man
A pre-nup?

Just a rhetorical question for you: How can a woman say to a man (or vice versa), "I love you", when you are hedging your bets? Isn't pre-nups by design the antithesis of love?

That is one thing I have never understood....

SummerChild · #2 04-26-2006, 05:19 PM

Hi Marie,
I'm licensed in IL but have never heard that anything acquired prior to marriage is retained by the acquiring party. This sounds akin to community property law, which is the law where I practice now (CA) not IL. Where did you obtain this information?
Curious,
SC

Quote:

Originally posted by Marie
It was my understanding that the prenup focused on how property and wealth aquired during the marriage would be split up in the event of an event. I know in Illinois, anything aquired prior to the marriage is retained anyway, so I think that the prenup is supposed to address items that are purchased together. For instance, if one party is already quite wealthy, then it myight say something like 'no matter what wealth is gained during the marriage, the other party will only get a pre-determined allowance'. It might also say that all properties aquired will be sold and the money split, or whom ever has custody of the children will remain in the house (if children are born) and the other party will pay a portion of the mortgage, etc. Like it was mentioned, they might have stipulations with regards to infidelity, etc. I kinda think of it as a team charter for marriage.

litAKAtor · #3 04-26-2006, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Rain Man
A pre-nup?

Just a rhetorical question for you: How can a woman say to a man (or vice versa), "I love you", when you are hedging your bets? Isn't pre-nups by design the antithesis of love?

That is one thing I have never understood....

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEN!!! I mean Skee is my LS, but I have to STRONGLY disagree with that. I do agree that you have your own account and a joint accout - but do not advise having a prenup (this is the lawyer coming out) UNLESS you have MAD cheese /assets going into the marriage - if you broke and he broke then what are u doing. DOnlald Trump and the like - Pre nup mandatory particularly if the person you are marrying is not bringing anything to the table - but if you have two law students or two baby lawyers. dr, teachers etc - for what???!!!!

SKEEphistAKAte · #4 04-26-2006, 06:34 PM

^^ That's ok. Line sisters can disagree

You're newly engaged and I'm newly divorced, of course our views on marriage will be vastly different.

Might I add, that people who've never been married and divorced (especially those head over heels in love) are more likely to be against pre-nups. I'm divorced and realistic (jaded even). I'll never go through this legal crap again. And. That. Is. Real. Talk. I don't care HOW in love with him I may be. If I ever re-marry it shall be pre-nups all around.

Bajan_Delta · #5 04-26-2006, 08:49 PM

I understand where you coming from on this. And as much as I'm in love, I'm not a stupid person. I have to agree with your LS. I'm sure we all know that stats when it comes to marriage, 52% of folks get a divorce. None of wants to be a statistic however, if I'm helping to his behind go to school and be the big shot engineer that he is going to be, if he decides that he wants to leave me for some broad with bigger ta-tas I want what half (actually more than half) his shit.

Quote:

Originally posted by SKEEphistAKAte
^^ That's ok. Line sisters can disagree You're newly engaged and I'm newly divorced, of course our views on marriage will be vastly different.

Might I add, that people who've never been married and divorced (especially those head over heels in love) are more likely to be against pre-nups. I'm divorced and realistic (jaded even). I'll never go through this legal crap again. And. That. Is. Real. Talk. I don't care HOW in love with him I may be. If I ever re-marry it shall be pre-nups all around.

SKEEphistAKAte · #6 04-26-2006, 09:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bajan_Delta
if I'm helping to his behind go to school and be the big shot engineer that he is going to be, if he decides that he wants to leave me for some broad with bigger ta-tas I want what half (actually more than half) his shit.

I feel you on that, lol. I don't ever plan on being with anybody that isn't already established. And I'm not talking about a "baby lawyer" either

.

Bajan_Delta · #7 04-26-2006, 09:59 PM

Well as I stated earlier we've been together for all of our adult life (since 21). So I can't really have those demands. But if I weren't going to marry him, I think I would have the same point of view. I wouldn't want a man that is not already established, cause love does not pay the bills.

Quote:

Originally posted by SKEEphistAKAte
I feel you on that, lol. I don't ever plan on being with anybody that isn't already established. And I'm not talking about a "baby lawyer" either .

SummerChild · #8 04-27-2006, 07:48 PM

Soror, what's wrong with being a "baby lawyer?" LOL. We make out alright.

SC

Quote:

Originally posted by SKEEphistAKAte
I feel you on that, lol. I don't ever plan on being with anybody that isn't already established. And I'm not talking about a "baby lawyer" either .

AKA_Monet · #9 04-28-2006, 11:27 AM

I heard you can have a "post nup" drawn up, too...

It was my understanding that pre's and post's are pretty much written like "partnership agreements" for businesses.

I thought the issue for the courts were the issue of dividing line "marital assets". If you ain't got nuthin' then it don't madda... But if you actually do have a lil' sumthin' sumthin'--even like a car, then it does matter to the lawyers and the courts or mediators, etc...

Lemme put it to y'all another way for an ingredient...

Add a tiny amount, less than a dash, of assets with your trusted folks (i.e. parents/guardians) before you get married...

It is rather hard for the divorce lawyers to get access to joint held accounts prior to a marriage... Such as, folks have to sign off on stuh... Of course that's where the soap operas come up with "brilliant plans"...