Recommendation Caution to PNM's - Page 4

adpiucf · #1 12-01-2005, 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ThetaPrincess24
PNM's................please do not go about emailing alumnae chapters of sororities asking for recommendations or finding out who the Advisory Board Chairman is and emailing her about recommendations(unless you know her or people--in particularly the president--of the alumnae groups PERSONALLY)!!!!!!!!

I wonder if this is a regional issue? Most times, if PNMs do not know any alumnae personally, they are encouraged to contact a Panhellenic Alumnae group to respectfully request assistance with securing informational recs. Many alum associations and alum panhellenics expect this and willingly help those PNMs who have no family or contacts that are Greek and able to help them.

AlphaFrog · #2 12-01-2005, 12:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by adpiucf
I wonder if this is a regional issue? Most times, if PNMs do not know any alumnae personally, they are encouraged to contact a Panhellenic Alumnae group to respectfully request assistance with securing informational recs. Many alum associations and alum panhellenics expect this and willingly help those PNMs who have no family or contacts that are Greek and able to help them.

I think she meant it more as don't expect to email her your info and her to come back with rec's from all the sororities you would like without you putting in the work. I think it's fine to contact her to get some contact info, but expect that YOU will be doing the work, not her.

Jill1228 · #3 05-29-2006, 12:56 PM

bumping this up:

Oh yeah, don't wait till 2 weeks until recruitment and start begging for recs...

failure to prepare on your part does NOT constitute an emergency on mine

SmartBlondeGPhB · #4 05-29-2006, 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jill1228
bumping this up:

Oh yeah, don't wait till 2 weeks until recruitment and start begging for recs...

failure to prepare on your part does NOT constitute an emergency on mine

This should go to the ALUMNAE too. Last year I got a call from one of the members of our alumnae chapter (older woman) the DAY BEFORE recruitment was starting at HER chapter (the UW) asking me how she could go about getting the rec to the chapter. She's been involved with the collegiate chapter longer than me and knows the recruitment advisor (who's phone number conveniently isn't in our newsletter) and yet she needed my help.........lordy

carnation · #5 05-29-2006, 02:24 PM

Oh AMEN to the last 2 posts. Two years ago, a PNM who was going to a big SEC school contacted me for recs 2 weeks before rush.

I wondered how well she'd do--she got cut by several groups (and was mad about it) but did get into a strong chapter.

PNMs! Pleeeaaassse get your recs early!

aopirose · #6 05-29-2006, 02:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SmartBlondeGPhB
This should go to the ALUMNAE too.

Ain't that the truth! Last year, I got a call from a sister whose pledge sister's daughter was going through recruitment at a big SEC school. The call came the day everyone, including me, was leaving for convention!

33girl · #7 05-29-2006, 09:10 PM

Hey PNMs!

If you're looking for recs, don't go to the forum of every sorority on Greek Chat and cut and paste a message to the effect of "I am going to St. Bernard State and really want to be a member of Mu Tau Nu, you girls are the super bestest!! Where can I get a rec tHaNkS!!@$%"

The only thing possibly more gauche is pointedly posting this in only "selected" sorority forums of the groups on your campus - i.e. the "top" groups that you think are the only ones worthy of you.

Zillini · #8 05-30-2006, 10:57 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by aopirose
Ain't that the truth! Last year, I got a call from a sister whose pledge sister's daughter was going through recruitment at a big SEC school. The call came the day everyone, including me, was leaving for convention!

You think that's bad? Every year I get phone, fax and email recs after Recruitment has already started, sometimes even after 3rd stage (right before pref). What slays me then is when the alum gets upset because her PNM was already dropped. Like it's my fault we didn't know anything about the girl!

adpiucf · #9 05-30-2006, 12:56 PM

In some of these alum's defense, they've been out of the loop for so long that they don't know what is happening in the sorority world-- if their daughters really want to join a sorority, they should do their own dirty work. Non-legacy PNMs have proven they can hustle and contact every person they know, as well as their mom's boss's doorman's third cousin's roommate's friend to get a rec-- why can't a legacy?

It's not mom's job and they have no right to get their undergarments in a twist if their kid is dropped from their precious sorority, especially if they themselves did not even write a rec for their child in time.

I realize that moms will continue to moan, whine, complain and remove support if their child isn' selected to join "MY SORORITY," and I'm sure it hurts if your child is dropped from your organization, but that's life. Rejection is part of it and even all the supplementary paperwork in the world isn't going to change the fact that your child could be a better fit for another sorority. Recruitment is a mutual selection between PNM and sorority--- not between mom on PNM's behalf and sorority.

ETA: Moms-- sorry to offend. You represent the minority of women with legacies. I realize the women on this BB are involved alumnae and know the deadlines or are at least here wanting to learn more. But we all know that a legacy is a courtesy introduction and that at some point, your daughter has to stand on her own. It would be a travesty for a legacy to receive a bid just because of her legacy... and to spend the next 4 years wondering if the chapter really wanted her. This is a concern I have seen even with legacies at even some of the most competitive recruitments. /end rant

Denise_DPhiE · #10 05-30-2006, 02:41 PM

^^^^^Amen sista! What she said!

DC

33girl · #11 07-12-2006, 09:48 AM

Bumping this to make it active again.

PNMs, if you are looking for recs, GC should be your LAST resort. We don't know you in real life (except in a few cases). We have no idea if the information you are giving us is true. We'll gladly direct you as to where to go to secure them, but don't go to every (example) Phi Mu on the site begging for one.

We "oldsters" realize you conduct a huge amount of your daily lives over the internet, much more than we could have ever imagined when we were in school, but this is one area where you just SHOULD NOT.

kddani · #12 07-12-2006, 09:57 AM

I have clearly stated that I will NOT write recs for people on GC. However, I have stated in places that if the PNM had tried and tried and was stuck, i'd help them figure out who else they could contact (but, I know later on I got fed up and said that if they were getting nowhere, to contact KD HQ, but people still PM me).

If you are going to ask for my help- AT LEAST HAVE MADE AN EFFORT FIRST! One email to one person does not equal a lot of effort on your part. Email that person again. Contact the local panhel. Contact our HQ for a contact person. There are hundreds of posts on GC about where you can find people to write you recs. Contacting a stranger on the internet for help should be your LAST RESORT. I'm not inclined to help you find a rec if all you have done is email one person.

I'm also not inclined to help you if your PM looks like it was written by a 12 year old fluent in net-speak. If that's the way you approached your potential recommenders, it's no surprise they didn't get back to you. I'm not a total grammar-whore, but at least make an effort at formal writing. This is a request for help to someone that you don't know, not an IM to your BFF.

adpiucf · #13 07-14-2006, 01:41 AM

If you are a PNM and you have secured an informational rec for a sorority, please do not go out seeking additional informational recs for that sorority. The chapter will just be annoyed. Informational recs are recommendation forms filled out with your general info, grades, and activities/honors by alumnae who are doing it as a courtesy-- meaning they are not family members, friends and people who know you well and they have checked off a box stating such.

Multiple informational recs to the same sorority are redundant and unnecessary. You are wasting your time, the time of the additional alumnae who are assisting you, and the chapter's time. The chapter may even develop a negative impression of you because you have created more paperwork for them and done absolutely nothing to distinguish yourself with any new information or bring a new perspective of what you have to offer sorority membership.

If you have mutliple recs from personal sources, that's a completely different story. Or if you have one recommendation submitted and individualized letters of support from other personal sources; again, this brings actual perspective to your application.

There's a such thing as overdoing it. Multiple informational recs are the perfect way to start on the wrong foot.

Please remember to ask everyone in your life-- parents, family friends, teachers, neighbors, etc., for a rec before you solicit strangers for informational recs on the internet. Try the Alumnae Panhellenic in your hometown before you resort to looking up strangers. Good luck with recruitment and if you know that the culture of your campus's recruitment places an emphasis on recs, start early to get those into the chapters!

brittai927 · #14 07-26-2006, 12:33 AM

Recs at my school are listed as "optional" and recommended I think. However, I know that a lot of top houses will cut girls early when they don't know them well because she doesn't have a rec.

CuriousWildcat · #15 08-01-2006, 08:52 PM

Ok so from what I understand, I don't need a rec because I do not have aspecific sorority that I am like dying to pledge. Is this correct? I mean I have a few that I am more interested in, but I am going to keep an open mind about where I fit in best. So yeah... am I right in guessing that I don't need a rec?
Thanks!