Would you marry someone in the military?

[polarpi]

I used to always think - NO WAY IN H*** would I marry anyone in the military. I grew up in a military family (Dad's retired Navy) and understand the lack of communication, constant deployments, and the divorce rate (and this was during "peacetime").

Now, I can't say I'd rule it out. You can't help who you fall in love with (maybe I'm looking at it with rose-tinted glasses?), and their occupation is part of who they are. That being said, I'm not going to go out and hunt down a military man to date and maybe marry, but if that's who I wind up settling down with, then I'd be fine with it.

[SigKapBling]

i think i could... i mean if you were really truly honestly in love with these people, why would you throw it away??
i grew up in a militarial background - my uncle was in the marines - and he'd always talk about it - and a good friend of mine at work is active in the Nat'l Guard, and got deployed this summer, so i pretty much have the utmost respect for anyone in uniform..... not to mention they're particularly nice looking
so, YES! i could !!

[Munchkin03]

Originally posted by Coramoor
I'm in the Army, but I don't think there is any way in hell I would marry someone while I'm in.

What most people don't know is that the divorce rate is ridiculous. One of my fraternity brother's was deployed for 14 months and on return they had new babies waiting for them, wives with boyfriends, or straight out divorce papers waiting on them. I think it ended with like 60-65% either being divorced or cheated on.

Fuck that. Sorry girls-I don't trust any of you.

This made me think about a lot of my hometown homies.

It seems like a lot of young men enter the military right before or after marrying their high school sweethearts--and for a lot of 18 year olds, I'm sure it's the ability to provide a comfortable living for a family without having a college education or vocational training that attracts them to the military. Most of them are divorced before they can drink legally.

[Coramoor]

Yeah, that's part of it.

Especially when the time for deployment comes. Everyone rushes to get married and have kids to leave something behind. Plus, it's very, very difficult to have a comfortable living on an enlisted person's pay, unless both of them are working.

[AlethiaSi]

i recently started dating a guy in the army.. a medic at fort drum near watertown, new york. He's being sent to iraq the end of january. we met the beginning of december... i want to be with him- but the thought of him leaving is tearing us apart b/c he doesn't want to hurt me.

i don't know what to do.... i miss him so much already and he's just in illinois visiting family... suggestions...?

[AKA_Monet]

Originally posted by AlethiaSi
i recently started dating a guy in the army.. a medic at fort drum near watertown, new york. He's being sent to iraq the end of january. we met the beginning of december... i want to be with him- but the thought of him leaving is tearing us apart b/c he doesn't want to hurt me.

i don't know what to do.... i miss him so much already and he's just in illinois visiting family... suggestions...?

Sweetheart, he has to go... Period. There is no getting around that... If your 19-28 years old, I would say move on. You have your whole life ahead of you. If you are older than 28 years old, then what do you want to do? Do you want to wait for him? Can you wait for him?

I don't care how you all slice it, in times of war, all military personnel serving on the war front do come back with some issue that is difficult to resolve and see through completely... Can you deal with post traumatic stress disorder? I'm not trying to scare folks, but I am a realist when it comes to war. And most folks in the US never see what's really going down in times of war...

[Optimist Prime]

I remember a certain (name of sorority witheld) that stole my heart for a semester or two, who was in ROTC. She looked damn fine in her uniform.

[AlethiaSi]

Originally posted by AKA_Monet
Sweetheart, he has to go... Period. There is no getting around that... If your 19-28 years old, I would say move on. You have your whole life ahead of you. If you are older than 28 years old, then what do you want to do? Do you want to wait for him? Can you wait for him?

I don't care how you all slice it, in times of war, all military personnel serving on the war front do come back with some issue that is difficult to resolve and see through completely... Can you deal with post traumatic stress disorder? I'm not trying to scare folks, but I am a realist when it comes to war. And most folks in the US never see what's really going down in times of war...

i know what you are saying- and sigh... you are definately right. my best friend just came back from afghanistan/iraq (i forgot to mention this) and he's had serious pts, nightmares, and alcohol problems...(and you are def right to say that not as many people know about the horrors of this war) i've stood by his side- but he's my best friend.... not my boyfriend... i guess i'll just take it day by day- move on and see how things go when he gets back...

thanks for the advice though- its a tough situation- i appreciate it

[Rio_Kohitsuji]

I've dated a guy from each service branch....so apparently I have to problems w/men in uniform,

I guess if I had met a serviceman before meeting my current bf and wanted to marry him, I wouldn't have a problem with it. However, right now I'll my guyfriends are deployed so I'm just taking care of their girlfriends here, so I get enough of the deployment grief.

[KillarneyRose]

Originally posted by Coramoor
Plus, it's very, very difficult to have a comfortable living on an enlisted person's pay, unless both of them are working.

Shoot, it's hard to have a comfortable living on an officer's pay unless the wife works as well. Most active duty folks I know are two income households, or they live extremely modestly.

When Mr. KR's reserve unit was called up and he had to go to Dubai two years ago, he was an O-4 and I would not have been able to manage if the company he was with at the time hadn't paid us the difference between his Navy and civilian pay.
Well, I could have but it would have meant major cutting back.

I've always felt that the military pays enough to exist on, but not to really live on (if that makes any sense?)

[orchid2]

Originally posted by cashmoney
The girls in there are dykes anyhow.

I'm not

Way to stereotype.


It's kind of hard for girls who are in this situation and have chosen it for our careers... not many men are willing to follow us around the world at the expense to their own careers. Unless you get lucky and snatch up a good one who really, really loves you

[Still BLUTANG]

it depends.

it's not the danger factor, it's the you're at someone else's beck and call besides ME factor combined with the i've never been good at long distance relationships so i avoid them at all costs factor.

i wouldn't seriously date a guy in the military, but if a guy i was seriously dating decided to join, i'd stick it out to see if it could work.

[_Opi_]

No.

[sugarplumfairy]

That would be a really hard thing to do, especially if they move around alot.

I can't imagine what that must be like, especially if they are overseas.

My hat is off!

Originally Posted by OohTeenyWahine

Three years ago, I met a wonderful guy in the Coast Guard and I thought that we were going to get married. That relationship's over, but I learned a lot about military life by hanging out with some of the wives.

In the course of our relationship I endured 6 deployments, which was hard because I often didn't get as much info as some of the wives did [I was often treated as a 2nd class citizen just because I was only his GF]. I went through highs and lows emotionally and physically because of that relationship. KillarneyRose knows, she's been through every shopping spree I went through just to get temporary happiness...although I did get a few nice manicures/pedicures/Kate Spade purses.

With this war going on, I don't think I could marry a man in the military, not right now anyway. I wouldn't rule it out, though. I guess it'd depend on what kind of man he is.

I get pissed off whenever I hear about a woman being into military men for the sole purpose of getting married. They think they've got it made...you know, free benefits, free housing, etc. Please. I see a LOT of them at the E-Club and other places frequented by military guys.

But damn, I really do have something for men in uniform.

Wow, I posted this over three years ago.

So now three years later, would I marry someone in the military?

ABSOLUTELY NOT.

If I fall in love with someone, he's getting out before we say 'I do.'