Maybe I'm just getting older, but...

[Tom Earp]

Jen,

Well another KC area GCer!

We need to get a Gathering of the Flock sometime soon!!!!!

Wendi , "AGD" is in the area too! Not sure about RockChalk, but there are others out here in KC Land!

We Can Do It!!!!!!!

[ADPiViolets]

Originally posted by valpogal99
Again, I don't think Alumnae have any business making recruitment decisions, they do have a place in helping manage money and overseeing (chaperoning) certain events.

<> Jen <>

Well said. Thank you for your advise as well.

[ADPiViolets]

Originally posted by Blue Violet
As a matter of fact it is in our rush rules that only a certain number of alum are allowed at any one rush party and they are not allowed to talk to the girls at all. All they can do is serve punch or clean up or help set up or run a projector or whatever, but they can not talk to the PNM's. We have to have one advisor there. That's it. We usually have tons more, but all that's required is one.

This is exactly how we do it at my school as well. Also, the advisors usually travel from rush party to rush party to make sure that each sorority is following the rules. So oftentimes, we'll have advisors from other sororities sorta hanging out with us. They (both our advisors and visiting advisors) make their presense scarse, sorta hanging out in the background and quietly observing.

[XOMichelle]

Violets-
Yeah, burn out can happen, and I've seen it happen, esp in smaller chapters where members have to shoulder a lot of responsibility. Strangely, I have never felt the old vs. young power play that you are speaking of, but our chapter had it's own set of concerns.

However, I have run into alumns who make decisions I disagree with. I feel sometimes, they do not understand the campus, or the root of our problems so well that they make suggestions based on their experiences in thier chapters, not based on the reality of our college. It's too bad, because I think with more insight and partnership between the collegiate members and the advisors, we would do better.

-M

[DeltAlum]

Reality check...

I am offended.

If it were not for alumni, there would be no Greek Letter Organizations as we know them.

There would be no chapter owned houses, because there would be no money to buy them.

There would be no house corporations.

You would not have a national office.

There would be no financial support.

There would be no post graduation "network" to help you in your careers or life.

Alumni chapters, where you can meet and share common values and memories would not exist.

At graduation, you would have no opportunity left to be a part of your organization -- the experience would end.

There would be no traditions and no history.

While the undergraduates may be the keeper of the flame, it is the alumni who lit the torch.

While some alumni may seem "pushy," you would miss out on what may turn out to be some real wisdom.

If you have a large alumni base and many advisors, count your blessings -- from experience I can tell you that alums willing to help can be difficult to find.

It might be that, when you become an alum, that you may look at your collegiate chapter and feel that the actives are in grave danger of ruining what you have worked so hard to achieve. Remember this conversation then.

I hope that after a few more years of life's experience, some of you will remember what you are saying today -- and consider how offensive, ungrateful and, in some cases, how childish you sound. That's a large part of what we call growing up.

It happens to the best of us. It's being an adult.

Some of you are acting like children.

And if you say to me, "Get a life," I'll be happy to compare my experiences to yours any day.

Now, I'll just totter back to corner and watch the rest of this ridiculous debate. And, I'll still be offended.

[Peaches-n-Cream]

Well done, DeltAlum!

[justamom]

What a debate we have going here!!!

Not much to add-no epiphanies-but reiteration of a few things are worthwhile.

A strong campus chapter USUALLY has an equally strong alum base. Consider expansion. If a strong alum base doesn't exist, a new chapter most likely will avoid your campus.

Yes, there are some over zealous alums, just like there are some actives who are pains in the arse.

Interfering in Rush-I agree that's a lot of power to have. HOWEVER, sometimes it's better for "Suzie the Slut" or "Cleo the Klepto" to remain anonymous to a group of 18, 19, 20 year olds.
Do you REALLY need to know this, or is it better for this informatin (and the future of the PNM) to remain as private as possible.

Ditto to the great alums on this board. Sympathy to those who have to deal with unappreciative chapters.

Sympathy as well to those actives that have their chapters micromanaged.

Some of you talk like "over 40" is a dirty word. HA! Just you wait!

[Zephyr]

You know what, I think everyone goes through that on some level. It's a good thing-really it is-you're maturing!

I got to a point where I was sooo sick of D Phi E. But I'll tell you what, if you're still an undergrad your time in your house passes by you so quick! I missed D Phi E so bad it hurt when I graduated.

Consider doing what I did, and volunteer for your sorority as an Alumna. It's how I keep in touch with D Phi E, and I get to make a positive impact on the Chapters I advise! Also, once you meet all the other volunteers, it REALLY is like you get another -OLDER, WISER, MORE MATURE, AND FUN Chapter!

remember...your burnout is temporary, but your sisterhood is forever!

Kristen

[ADPiViolets]

Okay, I would like to bring the discussion away from Alumni, and back to the topic this all started with.


I would like to post this email. This email was sent out on our chapter's list server, from a newly initiated sister to the entire chapter. This list server was started to spread information related to the chapter. But it has since changed. Maybe after you read this, you can understand more what I mean, when I say my chapter is going downhill.



"Hey everybody!

I hope everyone had a great spring break! If you didn't, c/m and we'll share stories. haha I want to thank everyone that was at Boyne (ski resort) for helping me out with my leg. It was a hard thing to deal with especially when everyone was having so much fun.
If you do not know what happened, I burned my leg on the sauna stove while drunk in Boyne…I went to the hospital and I have a severe 2nd degree burn. It will leave a scar, but I am trying hard to avoid that!! Today I am going to my local doctor to see what he says.
On a similar note to my injury… yes, Lauren (another sister) did get breast implants. She had the surgery on Monday morning. I took the responsibility of taking care of her all day yesterday and today. She is doing really good - toughing it out (she's a strong one!). She can walk around and move her arms now (she couldn't before - if you didn't get that)! She has pain medication and it is helping her through the recovery. Lauren has my support, and it would be nice if all of you would help support her

With SO much love,
Susan and Lauren"


This is why I am tired of it all. After reading this email, I am giving serious consideration to stepping down. I am so upset by this (not just the drunkenness and the boob-job, but this just represents everything I am feeling).
The only thing that is keeping me from stepping down is the fact that my blood sister wants to join my chapter in the fall (she's a senior in high school now). I don't know what to do. I really don't. I really am starting to hate this.
What should I do?

[33girl]

As far as the boob job - her body and her choice. I don't know why you would find that upsetting. Granted, perhaps I wouldn't email the chapter about it, but she might like to get it out in the open rather than having everyone stare at her chest, whisper and ask a million questions.

[ADPiViolets]

Originally posted by 33girl
As far as the boob job - her body and her choice. I don't know why you would find that upsetting. Granted, perhaps I wouldn't email the chapter about it, but she might like to get it out in the open rather than having everyone stare at her chest, whisper and ask a million questions.

Like I said, but probably worded poorly... It's not the boobjob. I know it's "Her body and her choice."
This is just an example of how superficial our chapter has become.

[ZTAMiami]

ADPiViolets,

I understand that you are frustrated with the direction the chapter might be going in, but I don't think it would be a wise decision to deactivate. As an older member you can provide guidance to the younger sisters and maybe be the voice of reason when things get a little out of hand. You are in a very common situation that a lot of sorority women find themselves in by junior or senior year. Hang in there, and talk it over with the older sisters.
Good luck!

[valpogal99]

ADPiViolets - the first thing I would recommend is addressing the situation with your exec committee. As an ADPi sister, I know that communication done through boards, listserves, or any other method that is limited or identified as Alpha Delta Pi communication is not to contain references to alcohol. While I know this may not be your number 1 concern, it gives you a leg to stand on to bring up the situation. Secondly, try restating the reason for the listserve. Explain that it was established to keep all members informed of specific chapter events and IMPORTANT messages. Suggest that a second listserve be started to carry "chit-chat" and unofficial messages to members who wish to receive those types of messages (recommend starting a signup list for members wanting to receive them). I would talk to executive committee about the situation first then ask if you could speak in new business. State it as a concern for the chapter, not in your personal feelings. The one thing I would avoid is pointing out specifics. I wouldn't mention the message you posted here. I would start by saying something about the listserve being created to distribute official sorority business in a timely manner. I would continue with the idea that some concern has been raised over the content of some message that are being sent via the listserve and could be seen in the wrong light by International Officers or other sorority officials. Support the other side by saying that you feel there is a place for the other types of communication but that it might be better (for the chapters sake) if a separate listserve was started for that purpose. You can also limit who posts to the "official" chapter listserve by recommending that only exec committee members be allowed to send messages on it. Anyone that would like information sent using it should email an exec committee member who will then pass along appropriate announcements. Just let the group know that you support your sisters and are concerned about the sorority as a whole. Even if you do not want to receive messages from the second listserve, they will feel that you support the right to share them. Believe me when I say that you are not the only one feeling the way you do. There are others in your group who are not wanting to speak up for whatever reason. When you show the courage to stand and make your suggestions, you will be supported as long as it is seen in the best interest of the sorority. If you need suggestions on how to phrase something, let me know or talk to your advisor. I was on exec and I know some of the phrasings we used to lessen the friction. You might also want to visit www.alphadeltapi.org and review the Internet Site regulations to have some printed resources for your meeting with Exec. If you need these guidelines, let me know.

[ADPiViolets]

Jen,

I just wanted to say thank you SO MUCH for that idea. I am emailing our president right now. I really appreciate your advice. Again, thank you so much.

[valpogal99]

No problem - that's what sisters are for. I am here as a sounding board if you need me. Just let me know if there is anything else I can do for you!

L&L