Frustrated by boys

[Peaches-n-Cream]

Has anyone read "The Rules" out there? What did you think of it?

[tridelta4ever]

Val and DZRose, I agree with you. Once I accept a date with someone, that's it. My friends would never think to say anything nasty (again, unless the guy was a stalker , etc.), because it's pretty obvious that if I had doubts myself, I would not have accepted the date in the first place. Duh! What kind of lame ass would I be if I let my friends "ewww" ruin a potential hot date. If anything, I'd be determined to prove her wrong!

I find it unfortunate that men really think that most women disect them in groups. I mean, I'm sure that some women are like this, but only those who are without a backbone and extremely impressionable, not to mention bitchy.

[Peaches-n-Cream]

So Optimist Prime did you call her? What happened? I need an update in order to know if I gave you good advice.

[Optimist Prime]

Yeah I called. Asked her if she wanted to go out. She was like "tonight?" And i was like "well whenever." Then asked her for something specific (lunch-best I can do as campus is the only thing in town.) She told me she is real busy, but to call early next week.

[justamom]

I don't think I'd call her next week. Not to throw you into "gamesmanship" or anything, but if you are really interested, hold off and contact her the FOLLOWING week. If she gives a similar response, you may want to look elsewhere. (Just an initial thought)

[tridelta4ever]

GREAT advice, justamom. I was about to say the same thing. Because she didn't appear 100% interested, it's better to wait longer and not to seem overeager. Most women hate that.

[AOPiLaLa]

UPDATE!! So, he was in Chicago on business, which is cool. I mean, I wish he would have called to say that but oh well. We talked last night and this is my conclusion--he is not a player, but just playing it safe. What is the hard thing is I am the same way. I NEVER want to put my heart out there because I am scared of being hurt and I think he is the same way. BUT here is the good news--when we were talking last night, just as we were hanging up, I told him to give me a call sometime next week, so we could get together and he was like "yeah, that would be great". And then he says "or if you get home one night and you feel like doing something, just call me--I like hearing from you, too!". Okay, THAT made me feel SOOOOOOO much better because I HATE calling guys(I always feel like I am chasing them and my mom always told me that real ladies don't call boys). but the fact that he specifically came out and said to call him and he likes hearing from me made me feel better if I do want to call him. So, that is my update. I think this is just a VERY slowly progressing relationship and take it from there. Hey--its better to have a slowly progressing relationship than no relationship at all. Thanks everyone for listening!!
And BILLY--I say do call her back. I know I am crazy busy right now and sometimes it comes off as not wanting to see the person, but you really do. Give it one more try and see what happens but make it flexible. GOOD LUCK!!

[The1calledTKE]

Congrats AOPiLaLa! Call him sooner than later and things will just get easier from there.

[James]

ok.

That is a really sucky way to ask a girl out.
Girls admire confidence that is short of cockiness (and what they consider cocky will be determiend by their self-confidence).

So its kind of vague to call a girl up and ask if she wants to go out. Or even to say whenever.

Always call with a plan. Ask to her a place at a certain time, perferably pretty quick.

" Lets catch a cup of something hot later tonight, I need a break from all the stuff I am doing, I am so beyond busy."

In one non-rambling sentence you have indicated you want to see her, you are decisive, and you are probably busier than she is. Many people associate busy with a kind of social importance.

If she is like no I have too much to do tonight. You say, are you sure you won't want a cup of cofee later tonight? I bet it will be calling your name. Make sure you say it in a flirty way, In fact your whole conversation should be flirty. Not dead or matter of fact.

If she asks you what you are going to do later: tell her you are going to work on Fraternity stuff and then take a break later, you had just been hoping SHE could go because you wanted to spend some time with her.

You are telling her here that you still have a social life without her, and will go places alone (or worse with someone) if she doesn't go. Girls hate to miss out or be replaced. And you still made it clearyou anted to see her.

Final step: Don't hang up that phone without a future date! You know it looks like we are both really busy, why don't we plan something fun, like dinner and some mintiature golf, for later this week? Name two or three days in the next coming week that you have free time, and we'll match it up with my calendar also.

OH well good luck

Originally posted by Optimist Prime
Yeah I called. Asked her if she wanted to go out. She was like "tonight?" And i was like "well whenever." Then asked her for something specific (lunch-best I can do as campus is the only thing in town.) She told me she is real busy, but to call early next week.

[matthewg]

James,
you are stunning and soo funny!!
You should be a counsellor or psychologist!!

[Optimist Prime]

thanks guys. I walked right past her today. I didn't feel like turning around. Oh well.

[matthewg]

Originally posted by Optimist Prime
thanks guys. I walked right past her today. I didn't feel like turning around. Oh well.

Billy, I think that was a good move. Women often seem to go for nice guys as good friends, but dating...., nah. So, no more Mr. Nice Guy - at least sometimes....

[Peaches-n-Cream]

O.P. - There are probably a hundred women on your campus who would have jumped at the opportunity to be with you so don't let this get you down. I agree with JAM and James's advice. Actually, if you ignore her a little, it might pique her interest. You don't have to be rude, but you know the routine. For example, let her see you talking to another woman and give her a nonchalant, "Hey, how are you?" She might wonder, "What's going on with them?" A few days later ask her out again the way James described. AHH the games we play.

James - I might have to give you the rest of my number now. I might like a cup of something hot later tonight.

[James]

LOL, feel free, I am a big hot beverage guy. I live about two hours away fom The City (NYC). I'll meet you half way .

We should get some of these N.E. Greek chatters together like they have been doing all across the country. But people from the NE are notoriously unfriendly so it might be harder.

Originally posted by Cream
O.P. - There are probably a hundred women on your campus who would have jumped at the opportunity to be with you so don't let this get you down. I agree with JAM and James's advice. Actually, if you ignore her a little, it might pique her interest. You don't have to be rude, but you know the routine. For example, let her see you talking to another woman and give her a nonchalant, "Hey, how are you?" She might wonder, "What's going on with them?" A few days later ask her out again the way James described. AHH the games we play.

James - I might have to give you the rest of my number now. I might like a cup of something hot later tonight.

[Peaches-n-Cream]

OMG, we should have a NE GC get together! It would be cool to see the faces behind the 'names'. I am a friendly New Yorker, no attitude at all. I'm sure a bunch of GC people might be interested in hangin' in New York.
Well, I'm off to have a hot beverage!