"I'm rushing 'for' a certain chapter"

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by MaryPoppins

This is all true. However, since it either borders on tent talk or is actual tent talk, it would not be serving our PNM public well if we did not do everything to quash this sort of thinking.

The PNMs for which the "rushing certain chapter(s)" works are what most of GLO women here feel are the extreme minority of PNMs. If we don't say something about how it's not the way to approach recruitment then we are reinforcing that approach that "rushing certain chapter(s)" is okay. The PNMs will assume it's okay for most of them to just rush one chapter, and not just the PNM with the magical recruitment that gets the ONE chapter she had her heart set on from the beginning.

Here's an analogy which is similar to this kind of thinking from recruitment: It's like depending on the fact that you Special Snowflake PNM are a legacy to a 100+ year chapter "FGH" at Magnolia Republic University (MRU) to get you onto the MRU FGH 100+ year chapter first bid list . . . You may not relaize you are competing with many, many, worthy PNMs at MRU and that older chapter cannot take all of its legacies due to the generations of FGH Alumnae that MRU FGH has produced. Those women had many more daughters than sons it seems. MRU Legacy PNMs cannot depend on their legacy chapters and here at Greekchat we tell them that information routinely here. To do otherwise is a disservice to those legacy PNMs.

I don't disagree. I think it's entertaining sometimes watching us swim against the tide.

[MaryPoppins]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

I don't disagree. I think it's entertaining sometimes watching us swim against the tide.

: D

[AZTheta]

^^^^^^ True, this. So, so true.

And all too often, the "chapter of their dreams" ends up being a nightmare, as witnessed by the number of resignations ("drops"). What I find fascinating is the membership retention of the "below them" chapters versus the "dream chapters"... to me, that's the litmus test of what a "dream chapter" really is.

[lake]

Originally Posted by AzTheta

And all too often, the "chapter of their dreams" ends up being a nightmare, as witnessed by the number of resignations ("drops"). What I find fascinating is the membership retention of the "below them" chapters versus the "dream chapters"... to me, that's the litmus test of what a "dream chapter" really is.

This is *exactly* what I assume would happen if someone chose a sorority for any other reason than feeling comfortable with the members or feeling like they are at "home".

Maybe it's like fashion...they're willing to tough it out even if it's painful or uncomfortable because the "label" is so prestigious!

[angels&angles]

To be fair, the only girls I really judge are the ones who come HERE and talk about which chapters they want, because those girls literally have the answers at their fingertips and ignore everything.

However, my freshman year, I fell in love with a group of girls who were rushing me hardcore and then told everyone I knew that I "wanted to be an XYZ." Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. My second night of rush, everyone but XYZ dropped me. (What did I think was going to happen? [Obviously, I thought everyone was going to looooooooove me and I would get to choose which group I wanted to join]). It worked out in the end, as I joined XYZ. It was my dream chapter, even though it was lowest on the totem pole at the time, and I loved every minute of it.

But I was so, so, so clueless.

[carnation]

I've seen dozens of recruitment brochures and websites over the years that seemed to suggest that the PNM was in the driver's seat, that she would be doing the choosing. Some of these were even from highly competitive schools!

A lot of PNMs buy into this and are horribly shocked when they get first returns. I don't understand why anyone would advertise her choices, though, whether she was basically clueless about rush or very sophisticated. I have to wonder if some of these girl hope that their choices' members will see their posts and be flattered.

[Sciencewoman]

Originally Posted by angels&angles

To be fair, the only girls I really judge are the ones who come HERE and talk about which chapters they want, because those girls literally have the answers at their fingertips and ignore everything.

However, my freshman year, I fell in love with a group of girls who were rushing me hardcore and then told everyone I knew that I "wanted to be an XYZ." Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. My second night of rush, everyone but XYZ dropped me. (What did I think was going to happen? [Obviously, I thought everyone was going to looooooooove me and I would get to choose which group I wanted to join]). It worked out in the end, as I joined XYZ. It was my dream chapter, even though it was lowest on the totem pole at the time, and I loved every minute of it.

But I was so, so, so clueless.

I don't think my daughter was quite this overt, but I absolutely think the "word was out" on her and Pi Phi.

Also, A LOT of fraternity guys were fishing for information in December and via FB over break. There was a lot of "so, which chapter do you like best?" and "I heard that XYZ and DEF really like you. What's your favorite?" I told my daughter, probably too late, to evade these questions, because this appeared to be serious fishing in the guise of casual conversation. I had every reason to believe this info was going right back to their sorority friends.

Originally Posted by carnation

I've seen dozens of recruitment brochures and websites over the years that seemed to suggest that the PNM was in the driver's seat, that she would be doing the choosing. Some of these were even from highly competitive schools!

A lot of PNMs buy into this and are horribly shocked when they get first returns. I don't understand why anyone would advertise her choices, though, whether she was basically clueless about rush or very sophisticated. I have to wonder if some of these girl hope that their choices' members will see their posts and be flattered.

I agree...I think those brochures are trying to downplay the "exclusivity" reputation that goes along with recruitment. In many cases, that's false advertising.

[FSUZeta]

Originally Posted by Sciencewoman

I agree...I think those brochures are trying to downplay the "exclusivity" reputation that goes along with recruitment. In many cases, that's false advertising.

Same as "it is the sorority's job to find a recommendation for you." In the real world, that rarely happens.

[carnation]

OMG! I am currently trying (maybe fruitlessly) to convince some UGa PNMs that no matter what the website says, they HAVE to get recs! Their non-Greek moms keep parroting, "But the Panhellenic site says you don't have to..."

[angels&angles]

Originally Posted by Sciencewoman

I told my daughter, probably too late, to evade these questions, because this appeared to be serious fishing in the guise of casual conversation. I had every reason to believe this info was going right back to their sorority friends.

You would be correct.

[KSUViolet06]

^^^That analogy is pretty accurate.

What sucks is that people spread "recs are being phased out" and those not "in the know" or familiar with UGA Greek Life think "Oh, so it's all good. I don't need these" when that is not the case at all.

[AnchorAlumna]

Re: the Alabama confusion.
I believe the idea behind this is that some PNMs simply cannot find recs for certain groups. There is no alumnae panhellenic in their area to help.
They can send their resume stuff to the chapter so they have more complete info and/or can share it with an alum from that girl's hometown.
....which makes no sense, since chapters have all that info when they register for recruitment.

[FSUZeta]

I would like to know if chapters actually look at unsolicited resume/transcript/photo information, especially at those colleges with mega-recruitments, and lots of recommendations to work their way through.

Good analogies today: swimming against the tide, and the mall/shopping w/o money. I sometimes wonder if some folks are so adamant about believing that recommendations are not needed because it frees them from having to put forth the effort to find them?

[SWTXBelle]

ME: "Oh, your daughter is going to Texas State? I'd be happy to help get her recommendations."

MOM - "Oh, her sister is an Alpha Delta Pi, so she's going to pledge them. They have to give her a bid. She doesn't need any others."

ME:

[amIblue?]

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

ME: "Oh, your daughter is going to Texas State? I'd be happy to help get her recommendations."

MOM - "Oh, her sister is an Alpha Delta Pi, so she's going to pledge them. They have to give her a bid. She doesn't need any others."

ME:

I'd have a real hard time not saying "good luck with that."