Is Greek right for my dd?

[Katmandu]

Originally Posted by JLCo

OK. I see what you are saying. My daughter hangs out with the other "higher ability" kids at school. They are a fairly large group and have been in classes together since 2nd grade. She really enjoys their company. She tells me she gets impatient with some of the kids that are at the other end of the spectrum.

Do you mean this to come across as arrogant and elitist as it sounds? Being of "higher ability" does not in any way equate with the far more important virtues of kindness, empathy, inclusivity, charity and generosity of spirit. Those are qualities that sororities try to foster and it sounds as if they might be helpful to her.

Of course, she will have to contend not only with sisters who rival her for awesomeness, but also sisters who might try her patience for a variety of reasons. Many of my beloved, adorable sisters were completely average--and I learned more from them than from the superstars.

[JLCo]

Originally Posted by Katmandu

Do you mean this to come across as arrogant and elitist as it sounds? Being of "higher ability" does not in any way equate with the far more important virtues of kindness, empathy, inclusivity, charity and generosity of spirit. Those are qualities that sororities try to foster and it sounds as if they might be helpful to her.

Of course, she will have to contend not only with sisters who rival her for awesomeness, but also sisters who might try her patience for a variety of reasons. Many of my beloved, adorable sisters were completely average--and I learned more from them than from the superstars.

No. I am not being elitist. I am being honest in my assessment and realize that she needs growth in this area.

[Katmandu]

Originally Posted by JLCo

No. I am not being elitist. I am being honest in my assessment and realize that she needs growth in this area.

I salute you. Those are tough words for a mom to say. I'm a mom too, and it's hard, isn't it? I didn't mean my words to be harsh and I apologise if they were a bit short.

Sorority life is very fulfilling, but it is very time consuming, if you are going to do it right and reap the benefits. I hope you will encourage her to explore and consider her options. Most of us on this board wouldn't trade our experiences in our sororities and fraternities for anything. But if we are honest, most of us will say there were trying and difficult times, too. And trying and difficult people. It's great life preparation!

I wish you and her the best, and thanks for hanging in for a tough conversation.

[ree-Xi]

I'm going to answer your question, then, since you are so obsessed with proving to us how "gifted" your daughter is and how she is above anything that isn't "productive" in her eyes.

So, NO, Greek life isn't right for your daughter.

If she is too good to make a scrapbook or learn fun songs or have an ice cream sundae party at midnight during finals week - stuff that any typical sorority might do - then it's not for her. Then again, you might want to let HER decide instead of you spilling her personal information all over the place.

[JLCo]

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

I'm going to answer your question, then, since you are so obsessed with proving to us how "gifted" your daughter is and how she is above anything that isn't "productive" in her eyes.

So, NO, Greek life isn't right for your daughter.

If she is too good to make a scrapbook or learn fun songs or have an ice cream sundae party at midnight during finals week - stuff that any typical sorority might do - then it's not for her. Then again, you might want to let HER decide instead of you spilling her personal information all over the place.

Obviously you have no idea what competitive dancers and the dance team do. All the things you listed are stuff that is quite similar to what she does with her dance friends.

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by JLCo

Obviously you have no idea what competitive dancers and the dance team do. All the things you listed are stuff that is quite similar to what she does with her dance friends.

Then you've made her decision for her.

PS You don't know what anyone here knows. Have a great day.

[JLCo]

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

Then you've made her decision for her.

PS You don't know what anyone here knows. Have a great day.

No doubt!! I am posting here asking for advice about sorority involvement because I really don't know much about them.

[SydneyK]

Originally Posted by JLCo

No doubt!! I am posting here asking for advice about sorority involvement because I really don't know much about them.

I think ree was simply suggesting that you shouldn't presume to know what people here 'obviously have [any] idea about'.

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by JLCo

Pinapple-
I don't think my dd is too awesome to be Grrek... just not sure if she will fit in with her personality type and if she would be able to do everything she wants to do at the same time...

Also- we are looking at some large universities in the SEC because they offer very generous scholarships to those with high GPA and test scores. However, we live in the Midwest. Any suggestions on making connections since we do not know any former alumni?
Thanks!!

You're worried. You're a mom with a daughter that you perceive as being different, and who is college bound, and you're worried. That's what I'm getting from all this posting.

If you search on this forum you'll find a treasure trove of suggestions on how to obtain recommendations. And the most important thing you need to know: don't ask anyone here to write a recommendation. No. No. No.

Originally Posted by JLCo

As it relates here I would be referring to hazing- or what I have heard about hazing. Please keep in mind that I had no interest in joining a sorority- so please be patient with my ignorance on the matter. I am primarily basing my assumptions on what I have heard or read on the media.

She gave me a specific example of what she considers a waste of time yesterday. She is very impatient that the student resource time designed to help students get their homework done has been turned into counseling sessions by their school guidance counselors. She was told that she needed to draw a poster about bullying during this time after they had a presentation. She told me she did not complete the poster. Instead she pulled out her homework and completed her homework.

What you cited as a behavior example is not unusual, and MY OPINION: sounds like she is finished with high school and is just putting in her time.

Again, you can search this forum for information. Hazing is not tolerated in any of the NPC sororities; does that mean it never happens? No. I will tell you that there are significant consequences when hazing is uncovered. Again, a search on this forum will give you some information that will address your concern.

Originally Posted by JLCo

OK. I see what you are saying. My daughter hangs out with the other "higher ability" kids at school. They are a fairly large group and have been in classes together since 2nd grade. She really enjoys their company. She tells me she gets impatient with some of the kids that are at the other end of the spectrum. It seems that what you are saying is that the sororities have a high caliber of individuals. This seems even more likely today than during my time at college since everything is so much more competitive now.

I am not really concerned whether or not she gets a "bid". I did not belong to a sorority and was quite happy with my choice. However, if she wants to pursue this, I will support her decision. Right now our main concern is trying to narrow down the college choices- so this is a factor relevant to the decision.

Sororities should NOT be a factor in college selection. Some of what you're posting is contradictory. You say it isn't important, but then it is. Fact: your daughter is going to fail at something. We all do. Rejection is inevitable for everyone. You can't cushion this for her and the sooner she doesn't win or get her way at something, the quicker she's going to mature and become a more compassionate person.

Further, you've referred more than once to her "impatience" for those "on the other end of the spectrum". Tolerance for everyone is something that your daughter will want to possess in abundance, b/c when she gets to college, she's going to discover that she is an "average" student. Trust me on this. The playing field is completely different and a whole lot more challenging. And graduate school (whether law, medicine, or another field) narrows that playing field even more. She may have a high IQ, but that won't amount to a hill of beans if she can't get along with the other 99.6% of the population.

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by AzTheta

Sororities should NOT be a factor in college selection.

Why not? I don't think they should be a DEFINING factor, but it's part of "campus life," and there is more to going to college than just being in classes.

I'll use myself as an example--I knew I wanted to go to a school where my joining an NPC sorority was an option. I had a list of schools I was interested in, not just because of their academics, but because they provided the campus life that I wanted...and part of that was a diverse Greek system. I got into my first-choice school, joined an NPC, and had a great time and a great education that opens doors to me to this very day.

Some people want to go to college in a small town, others in a big city. Some people want a big football school while others would be in hog heaven if there was an Ultimate Frisbee league. Why should Greek life be any different?

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

Why not? I don't think they should be a DEFINING factor, but it's part of "campus life," and there is more to going to college than just being in classes.

I'll use myself as an example--I knew I wanted to go to a school where my joining an NPC sorority was an option. I had a list of schools I was interested in, not just because of their academics, but because they provided the campus life that I wanted...and part of that was a diverse Greek system. I got into my first-choice school, joined an NPC, and had a great time and a great education that opens doors to me to this very day.

Some people want to go to college in a small town, others in a big city. Some people want a big football school while others would be in hog heaven if there was an Ultimate Frisbee league. Why should Greek life be any different?

Munchkin - I see your point and it's well taken. Upon reflection, I'd go back and add some sort of qualifying adjective before "factor", but I've been quoted so it won't do any good. I was considering the posts the OP had written to that point and my interpretation (which may well be partially or completely erroneous) was that a sorority was of paramount importance in "dd's" college choice. But subsequent posts did not support that interpretation because IMO the OP was either on the fence or on both sides of it. Whatever!

For the future, I'll take a second look at what I write when I make an absolute statement. Thanks!!!

[KitKat58]

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

I'm going to answer your question, then, since you are so obsessed with proving to us how "gifted" your daughter is and how she is above anything that isn't "productive" in her eyes.

So, NO, Greek life isn't right for your daughter.

If she is too good to make a scrapbook or learn fun songs or have an ice cream sundae party at midnight during finals week - stuff that any typical sorority might do - then it's not for her. Then again, you might want to let HER decide instead of you spilling her personal information all over the place.

Do sororities really have parties during finals week?

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by KitKat58

Do sororities really have parties during finals week?

No

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by KitKat58

Do sororities really have parties during finals week?

Not, like, an official party, like, "OMG WE ARE ALL SO SICK OF STUDYING LETS GET ICE CREAM AND BE SILLY FOR AN HOUR".

[IrishLake]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

Not, like, an official party, like, "OMG WE ARE ALL SO SICK OF STUDYING LETS GET ICE CREAM AND BE SILLY FOR AN HOUR".

Yeah, we did stuff like this all the time. It's not a "PARTY!!!!" it's a, "OMG if I don't pull my nose out of my notes I'm going to go crosseyed and crazy. Let's go get coffee!!!"