Most Important Words of Advice - Page 4

PearlGirl13 · #1 05-21-2014, 07:48 AM

I wasn't sure where to put this, so I'm putting it here.

I received an email today from the daughter of a friend that was a "group email" asking for "a rec or a letter". It wasn't addressed to anyone specifically and said something like "I know some of you are in sororities and if you are and you'd be interested in writing me a rec or a letter, just let me know". She attached a not very well written resume

This is NOT how you ask someone to write you a recommendation. For anything. Ever.

I could go on and on, but there is so much advice about the importance of recommendations for some schools (large SEC school for this young lady) that I think that this PNM got focused on getting it done without considering the importance of good manners.

ComradesTrue · #2 05-21-2014, 08:12 AM

^^^ Wow.

I agree with you. I do think that sometimes they are just checking off their to-do list and forget the details in the process, not to mention good manners.

PNMs: Virtually every organization has a section on their rec that includes something about the PNMs character/personality/presentation/maturity/insert non-resume adjective here. Remember that how you interact with your rec writers is already putting forth your first impression with those writers. While I don't think there are many women who would write "she sucks at introductions," a PNM who exhibits appropriate manners and appreciation when soliciting recs will likely get some gushing in that same section.

To add to the thread, our APH's update for 2014 sadly has to include "do not send selfies." Never in a million years would I have guessed that we would have to add that to our instructions. Unbelievable what we were getting.

FSUZeta · #3 05-21-2014, 08:45 AM

Oh my!!! Our society has gotten so casual, and the niceties often fall by the wayside. i believe in many instances the "children" are not taught proper manners, and don't realize that manners and etiquette are important tools for networking and in the business world. sigh!

PNMs: You can go the the library or a book store and find etiquette books. You can also find etiquette information online. If you weren't taught to write thank you's, or how to set a table, or how to write a written request for a recommendation-not just for rush, but for scholarship applications, graduate school applications, job applications, etc., it behooves you to educate yourself.

AGDCanada11 · #4 07-26-2015, 02:00 PM

Bumping this one!

carnation · #5 05-08-2016, 06:49 PM

This one is a good summer read!

TLLK · #6 05-11-2016, 11:39 AM

Hi there. This is my first post at Greek Chat and I'm very happy to have found this forum. I enjoyed my time as an active and hope that my daughter will choose to take an interest in Greek life when she heads off to college in two years.

I was a Delta Gamma legacy in 1981. (Please excuse my "ancient" vocabulary ie: rush/pledge.) My mother and her friends are charter members of our chapter. My parents didn't discuss their Greek life with me until my senior year of high school. They let me make the decision to rush. I opted to rush when it came to my attention that my parents' closest friends were the ones they'd bonded with in the late 50's and early 60's through their Greek connections. It is possible that my daughter will be the third generation of our family to attend the same university. Should she choose to rush then she will be a double legacy for Delta Gamma.

My advice is for legacies and their parents. I would encourage you and your legacy to keep an open mind and heart during recruitment. I was aware that other sorority legacies in my rush group were under intense pressure to pledge their family's house. Be aware that chapters can change over time and vary from campus to campus. The group that you loved two or more decades ago might be different now. Let your legacy trust their instincts and make their own choice.

Now the challenge will be for me to take my own advice in the next few years.

carnation · #7 05-11-2016, 11:42 AM

I also want to remind legacies that their legacy group might cut them; legacy status is no longer even a minor guarantee of a bid. Keep your options open!

Cookiez17 · #8 10-08-2019, 02:18 PM

Keep an open mind. I know this has been pounded into your head but it's legit advice. You're gonna hear loads of tent talk "Oh XYZ is terrible, oh ABC this and that," and heck you may have been stalking social media or false rank before recruitment. Don't believe any of it. Wait till recruitment and get your impressions from the chapter interactions.

Also DON'T TALK BADLY ABOUT A HOUSE IN YOUR GROUPS. It's okay if you didn't enjoy a party but for one you don't know what sorority your Rho Gamma is in and someone in your PNM group could have a friend/sister/etc. in a sorority. The impressions you have can travel.

Cookiez17 · #9 01-07-2023, 03:42 AM

Gonna throw this to the top for spring recruitment! And I got 1 more.

DO NOT ACT RUDE IN ANY HOUSE. I don't care the sister doesn't do the best job or if you didn't enjoy the party. That is okay. It is openly being rude to your rusher or openly saying you're rushing to join ABC. Word travels.

Cheerio · #10 01-20-2023, 04:59 PM

Sorority women in every chapter on your campus are worth getting to know for longer than the 20-60 minutes of a recruitment party.

Be the gal in your chapter with friends and good acquaintances in each house on campus. And you start with your positive attitude and conversations during recruitment, toward initiate and pnm alike.

owlsandkeys · #11 05-16-2023, 03:25 PM

Get recommendations, even if you're told you don't need them.

thetalady · #12 05-19-2023, 11:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by owlsandkeys

Get recommendations, even if you're told you don't need them.

I am guessing that you haven't been involved in recruitment for a very, very long time. That advice doesn't apply in a lot of places and for some sororities at all anymore.

FSUZeta · #13 07-29-2023, 08:15 PM

Words of advice.

Cookiez17 · #14 07-31-2024, 06:09 PM

Well I can't believe I have to post this, but rush is starting in about a month.

PNMs, if you are lurking here, please be careful about what you post online. I don't mean the usual stuff of keeping a clean social media presence (though that's always good.) I know RushTok will be starting up soon. If you're going to be posting your outfits online, that is fine. But do not, and I mean it, reveal anything about your schedule, anything about the houses you've visited (even if it's positive, keep that private), or anything about a roommate/friend's schedule. Your rush experience should be all about you and finding your home, not going viral.

Cookiez17 · #15 07-31-2024, 06:09 PM

Well I can't believe I have to post this, but rush is starting in about a month.

PNMs, if you are lurking here, please be careful about what you post online. I don't mean the usual stuff of keeping a clean social media presence (though that's always good.) I know RushTok will be starting up soon. If you're going to be posting your outfits online, that is fine. But do not, and I mean it, reveal anything about your schedule, anything about the houses you've visited (even if it's positive, keep that private), or anything about a roommate/friend's schedule. Your rush experience should be all about you and finding your home, not going viral.