Sorors, SFs, One & All

[Nubian]

Thank you Three_Love, it almost seems you were speaking to me at times with your post. Your words of encouragement are appreciated.

Tamika

[TRSimon]

Originally posted by southernbelle
Ladies, ladies, ladies...y'all just don't KNOW! I have attened RUSH twice and been rejected twice. It hurts, especially when you know it was nothing you did. A friend of mine from high school went as well, needless to say this was her first time attending any event of this organizationad we've been here for 3 yrs. I was a faithful attendee. She made it, I didn't. Our friendship is in a very bad situation right now. I don't know what to do. It's not jealousy, but other things. I could use advice, help. I'm not going to give up. This week is this org's week here and I have attended every function. But it did hurt to see those girls come out at their show knowing I should have been there too.

I think you should take some time for yourself (away from your friend) to deal with your feelings of anger and rejection. If she is really your friend and deeper than her colors and letters, she will understand. Maybe you should also sit out a few of their events until you feel a little better about things.

[tickledpink]

Originally posted by CrimsonTide4
Hello Everyone,
It is that time of the year again. Some prospectives are getting acceptance letters and others are being rejected.

I have some questions for ALL BGLO sorority members. Did YOU join your sorority through a collegiate or alumnae chapter?

For those who joined via the ALUMNAE chapter,
A. Did you apply for membership during your college years?
B. While waiting for the chance to join, what did you do in the meantime?
C. While others around you were becoming members, how did you stay focused on the mission of joining the sisterhood that you felt lead to pursue?

To ALL BGLO Sorority members, what advice would you give those who were not chosen this year for membership?

For my SFs who are waiting/hoping to become a member what are you doing to keep your interests and to increase your attractiveness?

My Words of Encouragement:
1. Sometimes a DENIAL is a DELAY.
2. Ecclesiastes 3:1 -- There is a time for EVERYTHING, and a season for EVERY ACTIVITY under heaven.

I went undergrad.

For all of those that are not chosen this year for membership:

1. If at first you don't suceed, try, try again.
2. Don't take it personal and don't become bitter. Everyone handles rejection differently, however, after you've gotten past the initial hurt, respond with maturity. It may be hard to see people come out with their letters, the hurt is inevitable, but be happy for them. If xyz sorority is really in your heart, focus on what you need to work on for the next time around.
3. Don't be discouraged, and don't worry about what GDI's and those that were too afraid to apply may think. Some of the hardest workers in BGLOs did not make it the first or second time around.

[trini_girl]

Although it would be a priviledge to get an acceptance letter from Delta Sigma Theta, I can honestly say that if I didn't get the letter I would be disappointed, but it wouldn't stop me from helping people in need and being active in the community because it's something that I enjoy doing anyway. Plus you bless others by using whatever talent GOD gave you to help them. In return, GOD blesses you. It's understandable to be disappointed over something you really desire, but if it gets to a point that you're bitter, then maybe your heart wasn't in the right place. One young lady mentioned in the thread that "what GOD has for you is for you". That's funny because I just heard that phrase in a testimony at church this past weekend. But that statement is very true. Anyway, for those who didn't get that acceptance letter, don't be bitter and by all means don't hate on others. Keep your head up and keep trying to make a difference in your community whether it's with or without DST.

One Love,
Trini_girl

[Three_Love]

Originally posted by trini_girl
It's understandable to be disappointed over something you really desire, but if it gets to a point that you're bitter, then maybe your heart wasn't in the right place. ...Anyway, for those who didn't get that acceptance letter, don't be bitter and by all means don't hate on others.

From Webster's Dictionary...
Bitter: distasteful or distressing to the mind; galling; marked by intensity or severity; accompanied by severe pain or suffering; being relentlessly determined; vehement; marked by cynicism and rancor; intensely unpleasant, esp in coldness or rawness; expressive of severe pain, grief, or regret.

Um, now trust me when I say that getting a rejection letter will bring up AT LEAST one of the above feelings.

Like I said in my earlier post...if you have never gotten a rejection letter, then you can't even imagine what it's like.

Folks can say "don't be bitter" all day long, but believe me, if you get a reject letter, YOU WILL BE BITTER, to some degree, on some level, whether you're in denial about it or not. My heart was in the right place - in my heart I always knew that when my time came, I would become a member of Delta Sigma Theta, and I did. Yes, I was disappointed, but I was also EXTREMELY BITTER when I got rejected.

And as far as the "don't hate on others" remark - mmm...I follow this rule - DON'T HATE THE PLAYA, HATE THE GAME. I didn't "hate on" the girls who I knew had less stellar credentials than I did - shoot, they were lucky, so I wasn't mad at them. I HATED THE GAME that the Deltas played on me and several others who had gotten rejected. When the two Deltas who hand delivered my reject letter could barely contain their smirks and haughty giggles - YEAH, I HATED THE GAME.

So again, I'll close with this advice:
1. To those who may get a rejection letter, I am not going to say, "don't be bitter", BECAUSE I KNOW THAT I WOULD BE ASKING THE IMPOSSIBLE since I've been there. But I will say this - try not to STAY bitter.
2. DON'T HATE THE PLAYA, HATE THE GAME.

[evilina]

Well on my campus to let my interest be known i make it a point to as many of the functions for the org. as i can. let them see my face without being thought to pushy. a few of my mentors are members in the org. so i express most of my concerns and ques. to them. but as far as what i do is concerned.......


No. 1 on my list

Getting and maintaining a goodstanding G.P.A I would love to wear the org. letters accross my chest grades are not everything but they matter (especially to me) and I pride myself on my studies.

next, keeping up with my community service. Giving back is so important and not just for personal gain.

and finally i just be me like it was mentioned b4 there is a reason and a time for everything so just be patient.

A quote form my mother," Be patient and persistent , not pig headed and pushy."

[Salience]

Hello, SFs!

It's been more than a minute, because I'm prepping for my comprehensive exams. But I just HAD to reply to this timely thread!

Bitterness is a natural feeling, as is anger. Vent. By all means, VENT! You are entitled to your feelings, they should not be invalidated.

Just don't sink into it as a bad habit. That's when you start "hatin on folks" and it brings YOU down, not them! They could care less about (y)our hurt feelings, and may revel in them, if they have some insecurities of their own.

I was rejected in college, and when ladies say they don't know why, perhaps they REALLY don't know why. I don't, seven years later. And that's okay to express, as well. It isn't always the prospective's fault, let's be honest.

So, if you aren't bitter or depressed, etc., then fine! Great! But if you are, feel it, express it healthily, then bring yourself back up. It's hard. I know it is. I know. But you can do it. I did it.

Now, no I am not a member. I graduated with honors, am in grad school, do my public service, and whatever else needs doing. I am also in OES, so I consider myself a well-rounded individual. All I can do is keep on keeping on and wait. And so I do.

[Virtual Violet]

Originally posted by CrimsonTide4
Hello Everyone,
It is that time of the year again. Some prospectives are getting acceptance letters and others are being rejected.

I have some questions for ALL BGLO sorority members. Did YOU join your sorority through a collegiate or alumnae chapter?

For those who joined via the ALUMNAE chapter,
A. Did you apply for membership during your college years?
B. While waiting for the chance to join, what did you do in the meantime?
C. While others around you were becoming members, how did you stay focused on the mission of joining the sisterhood that you felt lead to pursue?

To ALL BGLO Sorority members, what advice would you give those who were not chosen this year for membership?

For my SFs who are waiting/hoping to become a member what are you doing to keep your interests and to increase your attractiveness?

My Words of Encouragement:
1. Sometimes a DENIAL is a DELAY.
2. Ecclesiastes 3:1 -- There is a time for EVERYTHING, and a season for EVERY ACTIVITY under heaven.

A. Yes, I applied my senior year, spring semester. My roommate was in the chapter at the time, and I was looking forward to my limited time in the chapter...however it didn't happen...I wasn't accepted. It hurt, (only for a minute ---I still had love for those girls! ) but, I knew I still wanted to be a Delta. So, I sucked it up, supported the campus programs, as always, and looked towards an alumnae chapter after graduation.

It was the collegiate chapter that set the example for what I wanted out of a sorority...and I KNEW that I wanted to be a DELTA, PERIOD.

As for what I did the the meantime, I was lucky enough to be accepted at the alumnae level the spring following my graduation, so I didn't have to wait long. Anyway, I fine tuned my public service, and did what all other college grads did, FIND A JOB!!!

I stayed focused because I knew what I wanted to do, and I just found a way to do it. There was plenty of opportunity to join other Greek or Greek-like groups campus, but that wasn't what I wanted. So even though Delta "escaped" me on the college level, I wouldn't have settled for anything else.

Ironically, I was part of a "mixed" line that included charter members of a collegiate chapter, so I got the opportunity to have a "collegiate" experience with my college "ships" after we crossed. I wouldn't have traded my experience for anything.

My advice would be, follow your heart, and be patient. If you truly have it "in your heart" for the org you seek, then rejection should not change your mind. Just look at improving your credentials and try again, even if it means you have to wait for years. If it is meant for you, it will happen! Good Luck!

[DableST_1]

Originally posted by Virtual Violet



A. Yes, I applied my senior year, spring semester. My roommate was in the chapter at the time, and I was looking forward to my limited time in the chapter...however it didn't happen...I wasn't accepted. It hurt, (only for a minute ---I still had love for those girls! ) but, I knew I still wanted to be a Delta. So, I sucked it up, supported the campus programs, as always, and looked towards an alumnae chapter after graduation.

It was the collegiate chapter that set the example for what I wanted out of a sorority...and I KNEW that I wanted to be a DELTA, PERIOD.

As for what I did the the meantime, I was lucky enough to be accepted at the alumnae level the spring following my graduation, so I didn't have to wait long. Anyway, I fine tuned my public service, and did what all other college grads did, FIND A JOB!!!

I stayed focused because I knew what I wanted to do, and I just found a way to do it. There was plenty of opportunity to join other Greek or Greek-like groups campus, but that wasn't what I wanted. So even though Delta "escaped" me on the college level, I wouldn't have settled for anything else.

Ironically, I was part of a "mixed" line that included charter members of a collegiate chapter, so I got the opportunity to have a "collegiate" experience with my college "ships" after we crossed. I wouldn't have traded my experience for anything.

My advice would be, follow your heart, and be patient. If you truly have it "in your heart" for the org you seek, then rejection should not change your mind. Just look at improving your credentials and try again, even if it means you have to wait for years. If it is meant for you, it will happen! Good Luck!

See God does answers prayer!!! If first you don't succeed, pick yourself up and try again.
BTW: What collegiate chapter were you apart of soror???

[Virtual Violet]

Originally posted by DableST_1


See God does answers prayer!!! If first you don't succeed, pick yourself up and try again.
BTW: What collegiate chapter were you apart of soror???

I wasn't in a collegiate chapter. My line sisters chartered Pi Omega chapter at Aurora University in Illinois.

[Tenacious1922]

Hello Everyone,

When I became a soror of SGRho, I went in as an undergrad. But I had expressed interest a year before I was actually chosen to became a member. I had to wait that long, in part of my grades!! (Hopefully my honesty will help others who wish to join a sorority) I left my freshman year with a terrible average, came back three years later to the university...with the same sorry average, but a whole new attitude about earning my degree! Anyway, to make a long story short, I did ALOT of RESEARCH before making my decision to go on my quest for Sigma. I found out what the requirements were; and made sure I went well beyond the minimum. I also talked to the advisors, and members so that I could get a feel for them as well and vise-versa. And what ever SGRho had going on, I was there, so that they knew my interest was FOR REAL!!

As far as advice, for those who wish to become a part of a sorority...I believe that you must really sit down with yourself and decide which one is for you! Please do not get caught up in the hype etc. (especially if you want to go undergrad). Greeks do more than just step. It is a WHOLE LOT of WORK being a PRODUCTIVE chapter member especially if you get in a position of leadership. You have to know when it is time to study and when it is time to party etc. Because it is so much bigger than just what you see, make sure you know what you are commiting to. Once you become a soror of a Black Greek org...that is it!! You can not go back and change your mind later on. Next, get and keep those grades up. I wish I could say SGRho helped me in employment..but actually my degree did that for me!! Also don't just do your research on the net! Talk to those on campus, go to the sororities' events..show your face and interest..let them get to know you. And when it is time to apply...have your stuff TOGETHER!! I mean grades, community service, rec. letters or what ever else is required. There is nothing worse than someone who claims to want to be a part of your sorority, but puts in little to no -effort to make it happen. And if you get rejected...pick up that lip and try again. And know that there are no guarantees even if you have the perfect GPA etc., that you are just a shoe-in for membership. I have known of people who had to try twice and more to get into the sorority of their choice, but they did it...because it was TRULY in their hearts. So I know it would hurt, but press on....

Tenacious1922

[ChaosDST]

I really enjoyed reading the posts. Sorors and Sisterfriends alike, have exibited true determination in reaching their goals. Most of us don't make it our first time(s) for various reasons. Our goal is NOT to just be in any sorority, but to be in the one that is dear to OUR hearts (whether it be DST, Zeta, SGRho, or AKA). What an inspirational way to start off my morning

[phive2life]

My MIP was undergrad and I wouldn't change it for the world. If you're not accepted the first time, re-evaluate yourself and try again. Don't be discouraged b'c I would rather you try again for the org that's in your heart instead of trying to get in the one that you think will easily accept you.
....Remember..........you must go through in order to get to!

[ChaosDST]

re-evaluate yourself and/or re-evaluate that particular chapter (you know how things are sometimes). I like the "you must go through in order to get to," go head!

Originally posted by phive2life
My MIP was undergrad and I wouldn't change it for the world. If you're not accepted the first time, re-evaluate yourself and try again. Don't be discouraged b'c I would rather you try again for the org that's in your heart instead of trying to get in the one that you think will easily accept you.
....Remember..........you must go through in order to get to!

[1Babygirl2000]

I became a member via an Alumnae Chapter. I chose to
do it this way, because changed my major my 2nd
semester of my Freshman year, and I knew that I would
be about a year behind because of the classes I had to
take. God made it possible for me to graduate on time
with my class. I could have joined undergrad, but I
felt that with my tight schedule, I could nit give the
time necessary to my school work or to Delta. So I
chose to wait. I also wanted to make 110% sure that a
Delta was truly what I wanted to be for the rest of my
life.

In the meantime, I kept up with my community service
activities and stayed involved in activities that were
going on in my area. I also kept doing my research
and reading any and everything I could get my hands
on. While others around me were becoming members, I
stayed focused by just saying to myself. If it is
meant to be God will handle it.

To those sisterfriends who are hoping to become a
member of ANY BLGO, I say to you keep your eye on the
prize. If becoming a memeber is truly in your heart
it will happen. Just continue the learning experience
and if it is meant to be, God will handle it.