Easily Offended?? Don't Click Here!!!! - Page 31

Dionysus · #**451** 11-02-2002, 01:09 AM

You learn something new everyday: Up to now, I had no clue that it takes so much energy to suck DICK!

I guess I better start working my neck out and getting it in shape.

ilovemyglo · #**452** 11-02-2002, 10:34 AM

This is so sad to say but I miss giving those to Stupid Boy, he had such a pretty one! Boo hiss!

James · #**453** 11-02-2002, 12:54 PM

I have never given a blow job, so any advice from me is suspect.

However, I have studiedsome of the biomechanical aspects of it from an observers pespective.

I think kappakittycat has a good point. Sitting on the edge of anything is a good idea.

Also, remember you can shift the stick.

Its not a joystic

but it is flexible. Its like a hinge it moves down and up but not well side to side, so don't be afraid to keep it in a comfortable position for yourself.

On a lighter note, if you bought an elastic band, like a yoga band, you could attach it to something and use it as aforehead rest to provide support for your nneck as you are bobbing up and down . . .

alphaiota · #**454** 11-02-2002, 02:20 PM

i really like the band idea, but boy would it look funny. probably work well with my techniques.

shelley j
sigma k

bouncey bouncey bouncey!!

valkyrie · #**455** 11-02-2002, 02:23 PM

Okay, I'm a little perplexed here. Maybe I'm weird (yeah, maybe

) but I'm wondering why people are having what seems to be marathon oral sex episodes. IMHO, oral sex is really foreplay -- it leads up to actual sex. Therefore, it really doesn't go on forever. Do you all make it a practice of having just oral sex and that's it? I would personally find that very unsatisfying.

James · #**456** 11-02-2002, 03:40 PM

Valykyrie,

You beat me to the observation lol . . .

But seriously, how to put this delicately . . . well shoot . . . maybe your ladies technique could use a little improvement?

Ok before yall's panties get in a bunch, humour me and follow along.

I have no personal sexual experiences of any kind, however, I have talked to some people about it. So let me relay some thoughts and stories.

1. A lot of girls think they are good at giving oral but they really aren't.

I remember hearing about this one little philly that thought she was supreme at it, she had one serious boy friend, and in the spirit of the Rule of threes, we later found out that she had three other shorter duration flings that somehow didn't count.

So anyway, my pal was all psyched when she went down to do the dirty deed, only to discover that it, well, wasn't very fun

.

I mean don't get me wrong! A boy would rather get a bad blow job versus no blow job any day! But this one needed some extra help and he found himself flipping through the TV channels praying for baywatch, and ending up with Threes Company Re-Runs on Nick at Nite.

which doesn't mean she didn't rock her last BF's world. . . she just wasn't a good generic cock-sucker. Damn did I say that . . .?

Another girl did this neat trick with her toungue that made the boys toes curl up, body arch, and eyes bug out, but it was so intense you just couldn't finish . . . kind of like eating a really sour Sour Patch Kid versus just a plain old chicklet LOL. But since her name actually meant Satan well what did anyone expect?

But the same boy told me that this other girl was just perfect, he never climaxed during oral sex before but she had the right mouth hand combination that would let him finish . . .

So anyway the upshot is that a lot of girls are just not that good at the technique of giving hummers, and that is a reason why they are down there that long . . .

James · #**457** 11-02-2002, 03:54 PM

Oh and like Valkyrie said:

Oral sex is part of foreplay and also a finishing technique as well as being different for guys and girls . . .

So a boy should be looking to give the lady about two orgasms during foreplay (shoot for two, settle for one) before entering her.

If the girl did that, shot for two which would mean three total in a rather short duration . . her boy might go into a coma . . . a non-responsive vegetative state . . .

ITs a finishing movement for a guy when he has sadly kind of prematurely dropped out of the race and left her all dressed up and nowhere to go so-to-speak. He has to just drop down and hang-out-till-she-is-happy to make things right

. Bad Boy . . .

If you have to be down there for two long . . . well you are either doing it wrong or the person is not as aroused as they need to be.

I talked to a couple friends that developed a kind of painful lockjaw called TMJ. they went to doctor to doctor and no one could help them. Finally they discovered that it was because they were spending way too much time eating their ladies out(such a graphic expresion eh?).

I mean they liked it and all, packed a lunch and stayed for the day so to speak, but they were in some pain . . .

So the sex therapist taught them the value of extreme arousal . . . and it cut there eating time down by 2/3's with even better end results. Which made them and their GF's very happy I can tell you!

Voila, all the jaw pain and neck pain went away . . . make sure you tell your friend that grind their teetch this little story

.

So to sum up, if you are having pains and dicomfort, you are pobably:

Not there for the right reasons: ITs foreplay not sex.

Not there at the right time: He she is not aroused enough.

Or: You are just not doing it right! Buy some books, videos, porn whatever.

alphaiota · #**458** 11-02-2002, 05:39 PM

this is very true for both sexes. although, some guys/girls like certain techniques over others. so what is the best technique for giving head then? i'd seriously like to know. personally, i swirl my tongue around it as i go down and up. i also focus on the head more than the shaft. any tips?
oh and before you guys ask what is good technique for eating out, simple, spell your name and hers on her clit with your tongue.
that's always worked for me.

shelley j
sigma k

ZetaLuvBunny · #**459** 11-02-2002, 09:55 PM

James · #**460** 11-03-2002, 01:20 AM

Wow and if this degree of graphicness doesn't kill this thread. . it may never die . . .

Quote:

Originally posted by ZetaLuvBunny

KappaKittyCat · #**461** 11-03-2002, 01:32 AM

Many people feel that oral sex and actual intercourse are very different. Namely, they think that the former doesn't count while the latter does. Counting towards what, I don't know. But there are plenty of ladies I know who play the everything-but game and consider themselves virgins because they want to save That Thing for marriage or true love or whathaveyou. Not sure what I think about that. But anyway, while I generally agree that it's foreplay, oral sex marathons can also be good if you wind up in the "don't have a condom and don't want to get pregnant but still really horny" boat. And sometimes it's just fun to go down on your partner, or have him/her go down on you.

Imthechamp · #**462** 11-03-2002, 01:45 AM

Oral sex is one of the most BORINGEST acts I've ever participated in. It's takes FOREVER to get a girl off (10-15 minutes means forever, btw). After awile...it's like..."Hey, will you please get off, I'm gettin really tired down here".

James · #**463** 11-03-2002, 01:51 AM

Review my post lol . . .

Quote:

Originally posted by Imthechamp
Oral sex is one of the most BORINGEST acts I've ever participated in. It's takes FOREVER to get a girl off (10-15 minutes means forever, btw). After awile...it's like..."Hey, will you please get off, I'm gettin really tired down here".

Imthechamp · #**464** 11-03-2002, 02:01 AM

I am too lazy to even attempt to give a girl multiple orgasms.

agger_rob · #**465** 11-03-2002, 02:02 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Imthechamp
Oral sex is one of the most BORINGEST acts I've ever participated in. It's takes FOREVER to get a girl off (10-15 minutes means forever, btw). After awile...it's like..."Hey, will you please get off, I'm gettin really tired down here".

haha, that's funny