Getting over a serious ex

[ThetaLove]

Thank you all very much for your advice! It was all very sweet.

I'm going to have to watch Swingers. *gasp* I know, I'm sheltered because I've never seen it. haha.

[lovelyivy84]

I was over it 5 seconds after I hit the door. Which vaguely worries me.

I sometimes (rarely) miss being in a relationship. I do not miss being in a relationship with him.

[Debs202]

My friend wrote a great article about his experiences trying to get over his ex and what he found to be the best coping strategies.

http://www.growyourgame.com/articles...et-over-my-ex/

Bit of shameless friend-promotion there but it's worth a look. Good luck.

[DSTCHAOS]

I'm not friends with any of my exes. I firmly believe that not everyone who comes into your life is meant to be there forever. I talk to one occasionally and we're very friendly but that's more acquaintance than friend.

I hold no animosity and have been "over it" for years. I just don't like being bothered with people who think they have a lifetime connection with you because they are from your past. They often don't have anything in common with you in the present. Let the past be the past. I moved on to bigger and better things years ago so my relationship and friendships reflect my present and future. Not my past.

[texas*princess]

What if the ex never goes away?

There is a guy I dated on and off for about 4-5 yrs... it's an awful cycle - we get together, and a few months later something happens that makes me not want to see or hear from him ever again, so we stop talking, and he always finds a way to contact me, and we start talking again, and we get together again, and then the cycle begins again.

A few months ago was another point where I said, "WTH, everytime I talk to you again, I regret it a few months later"... so we stopped talking, and I've asked him to kindly leave me the hell alone. If he finds something in his apt that is mine, keep it, throw it, or sell it on ebay... I obviously don't care enough to realize it's gone (he's used this a few times to get back in contact with me). It seems that just as my life is returning to normal, I'm dating other guys, that's when he tries to come back in the picture.

Over the last couple months he's tried a few times and sent me text messages, I got a couple of Christmas ecards and a "happy holidaze" text message the other day. (poor guy, doesn't know how to spell...haha). I haven't responded to any of them.

Why can't he just go away?

What part of "leave me alone and don't talk to me ever again" is so hard to understand? If a guy told me that, I'd leave him alone!

I'm just so frustrated.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by texas*princess

What if the ex never goes away?

There is a guy I dated on and off for about 4-5 yrs... it's an awful cycle - we get together, and a few months later something happens that makes me not want to see or hear from him ever again, so we stop talking, and he always finds a way to contact me, and we start talking again, and we get together again, and then the cycle begins again.

A few months ago was another point where I said, "WTH, everytime I talk to you again, I regret it a few months later"... so we stopped talking, and I've asked him to kindly leave me the hell alone. If he finds something in his apt that is mine, keep it, throw it, or sell it on ebay... I obviously don't care enough to realize it's gone (he's used this a few times to get back in contact with me). It seems that just as my life is returning to normal, I'm dating other guys, that's when he tries to come back in the picture.

Over the last couple months he's tried a few times and sent me text messages, I got a couple of Christmas ecards and a "happy holidaze" text message the other day. (poor guy, doesn't know how to spell...haha). I haven't responded to any of them.

Why can't he just go away?

What part of "leave me alone and don't talk to me ever again" is so hard to understand? If a guy told me that, I'd leave him alone!

I'm just so frustrated.

Well he's obviously not stalking you because you let him back in everytime. It seems that you used to enjoy this rollercoaster ride and you've given him the wrong idea. Until now. You now expect him to think it's finally over and to go away as if you've proven yourself anything other than inconsistent in the past.

If you want him out of your life, put him out of your life. Continue to ignore his attempts at contact with no relapses. If he doesn't get the point, change your contact info.

[1908Revelations]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

Well he's obviously not stalking you because you let him back in everytime. It seems that you used to enjoy this rollercoaster ride and you've given him the wrong idea. Until now. You now expect him to think it's finally over and to go away as if you've proven yourself anything other than inconsistent in the past.

If you want him out of your life, put him out of your life. Continue to ignore his attempts at contact with no relapses. If he doesn't get the point, change your contact info.

Chaos....I like you. Sometimes I read something you write in a D&R thread and I think, "That was harsh", but it is the truth.

Most of the time people have to bump thier heads [a lot] to understand things. However I can attest to cutting off all ties. If you let someone come around even if it is for 10 minutes....they will come and try to press thier luck for more time and more time until they are a fixture in your life again.

I had finally had enough and REFUSED to answer another phone call from the ENEMY (LOL). Yes, I am pissed, angry, upset, and a bunch of other things. However, as long as I allowed him to come around I was going to continue to feel that way. I am still learning, but the sooner the better!!

[OOhsoflyDELTA#9]

Soror Chaos does keep it real and I like that in a person...
Rev1908 you KNOW I know how this is...and I agree with Texas*princess that it is hard sometimes to cut all ties with someone who you've dealt with for a long time...I don't make resolutions but I decided to go into '08 without the baggage from my on again off again...low and behold guess who texted me this morning...its like I understand just don't answer but I always get caught up in the the what if something is wrong scenario...I know, I know Imma sucka....

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

Well he's obviously not stalking you because you let him back in everytime. It seems that you used to enjoy this rollercoaster ride and you've given him the wrong idea. Until now. You now expect him to think it's finally over and to go away as if you've proven yourself anything other than inconsistent in the past.

If you want him out of your life, put him out of your life. Continue to ignore his attempts at contact with no relapses. If he doesn't get the point, change your contact info.

Originally Posted by 1908Revelations

Chaos....I like you. Sometimes I read something you write in a D&R thread and I think, "That was harsh", but it is the truth.

Most of the time people have to bump thier heads [a lot] to understand things. However I can attest to cutting off all ties. If you let someone come around even if it is for 10 minutes....they will come and try to press thier luck for more time and more time until they are a fixture in your life again.

I had finally had enough and REFUSED to answer another phone call from the ENEMY (LOL). Yes, I am pissed, angry, upset, and a bunch of other things. However, as long as I allowed him to come around I was going to continue to feel that way. I am still learning, but the sooner the better!!

[texas*princess]

Originally Posted by OOhsoflyDELTA#9

Soror Chaos does keep it real and I like that in a person...
Rev1908 you KNOW I know how this is...and I agree with Texas*princess that it is hard sometimes to cut all ties with someone who you've dealt with for a long time...I don't make resolutions but I decided to go into '08 without the baggage from my on again off again...low and behold guess who texted me this morning...its like I understand just don't answer but I always get caught up in the the what if something wrong scenario...I know, I know Imma sucka....

That is a fantastic one!!

[1908Revelations]

Originally Posted by OOhsoflyDELTA#9

Rev1908 you KNOW I know how this is...and I agree with Texas*princess that it is hard sometimes to cut all ties with someone who you've dealt with for a long time...I don't make resolutions but I decided to go into '08 without the baggage from my on again off again...low and behold guess who texted me this morning...its like I understand just don't answer but I always get caught up in the the what if something wrong scenario...I know, I know Imma sucka....

You know I know about that too! Girl if something is wrong tell that joker (lol) to call 911 or Tyrone....but he can't use your phone (courtsey of Erykah B.).

Now I need to listen to that song!

[texas*princess]

Originally Posted by 1908Revelations

You know I know about that too! Girl if something is wrong tell that joker (lol) to call 911 or Tyrone....but he can't use your phone (courtsey of Erykah B.).

Now I need to listen to that song!

I love that song! haha