Movie Coming Soon: Diary of A Tired Black Man

[teena]

You are a perfect example why I dont get my underwear in a bunch over interracial dating. YOU NEED TO DATE non african american women. You clearly know what you do not want and the many AA women tend to have those characteristcs. What happens is that because AA women will call an AA man who dates interacially 'weak' he may continue to try to make the AA union work when he knows in his heart what he needs will most likely come from a woman of another race.

There is nothing worse than being with a man that you have just met who is just sitting there seething (bitter) and waiting for you to commit a crime that you've yet or may never commit.

RM what you are saying is the flip of the man bashing that we as AA women do. Initially I started to get miffed but then I thought, this is no different that what me and some of my friends do. Sometimes, what you see when you look in a mirror isnt so pretty.

[Rain Man]

^^^^Teena, that was ON POINT!

And you explained it in such a way that I didn't even think about it in that particular manner.

Good post, Teena. Exemplarary! Keep it up!!

[AKA_Monet]

Originally posted by Rain Man
TonyB, this issue I have with Black women isn't limited to "chickenheads". Matter of fact, there is an old thread here in this very forum with some well-known individuals bragging and boasting of their " Pretty Princess/Queen" lifestyle. The funny thing about the whole thing was that the thread got locked after a brouhaha erupted over which one of them wore the bigger tiara, so to speak. So whether I am with a high-class sista, a homegirl, a hoodrat, or a hootchie, the mentality tends to be (note I didn't say "is") consistent across the board.

This whole mentality I speak of transcends the various "castes" of the African-American community.

That was my thread that got locked...

And no I didn't post it because I felt the need to put folks down to make myself have a larger "tiara"--I'm not into pissing contests.

It was more about too many women at the time were writing extremely depressing things about their lives and it hurt just having to read them. It was as if their self-esteems were going toward the toilet and I felt the need to make it stop...

So I just made "lite" of the situation to start some sort of ego-boosting because for women, the best way to get them to feel better is to start from the outside, then move to the inside...

And not to be crass (and this is gonna sound crass coming from me to you ), but you shoulda known that if you had some better recruitment strategies...

I's sorry, but you did kinna walked into that one...

Oh, congratulations is in order for you, for whatever fraternity you joined... Good for you!

[teena]

Originally posted by Rain Man
^^^^Teena, that was ON POINT!

And you explained it in such a way that I didn't even think about it in that particular manner.

Good post, Teena. Exemplarary! Keep it up!!

Oh yeah, let me add to my earlier statement.

Just because black women arent your cup of tea anymore- dont do a Wesley Snipes and go around low-rating us black women.

All that we are and all that we arent- we got this way with the help of black men.

[Rain Man]

Originally posted by teena
Oh yeah, let me add to my earlier statement.

Just because black women arent your cup of tea anymore- dont do a Wesley Snipes and go around low-rating us black women.

Why would I do a nasty thing like that? Besides, if I did, that would include African and Carribean women by default.

All that we are and all that we arent- we got this way with the help of black men.

Not exclusively.

[btb87]

Originally posted by Rain Man
Not exclusively.

RM, she didn't say exclusively - she said with the HELP. And I had to jump in on that one because when I read what teena said, I wanted to say 'AMEN'! Just as not all Black women are angry and bitter as many would like to believe, not all brothers are bad or "no good". There MUST be some good ones out there. I think we somehow have to find a way to understand one another (didn't somebody say that before? I don't remember), and stop looking at people for the "what can you do for me?" syndrome, and stop looking for others to make us happy.

[teena]

Originally posted by Rain Man
Why would I do a nasty thing like that? Besides, if I did, that would include African and Carribean women by default.

Dont purposely try to miss my point. Dont diss black women because we are flawed. Black men are flawed as well. Many our of our afflictions we've done to one another.

[Rain Man]

Originally posted by teena
Dont purposely try to miss my point. Dont diss black women because we are flawed. Black men are flawed as well. Many our of our afflictions we've done to one another.

Believe it or not, my discontent has more to do with American (or more to the point, Western women--which includes women from Canada, the UK and Australia), and the values that they tend to possess.

You know what, I am going to start a spin-off thread about an professional American woman with traditional minded values that speaks on my discontent to a T, and IMHO does it much more eloquently than I ever could.

Hold on a sec. Don't move....

[OhioCentaur]

Not like black women?

I dont know how you do it good sir....

[Rain Man]

Originally posted by btb87
Just as not all Black women are angry and bitter as many would like to believe, not all brothers are bad or "no good". There MUST be some good ones out there. I think we somehow have to find a way to understand one another (didn't somebody say that before? I don't remember), and stop looking at people for the "what can you do for me?" syndrome, and stop looking for others to make us happy.

Btb, you are on point, especially with the underlined. You have just explained my point of contention with Western women.

I haven't been in a relationship in two years, and I have not sought out a mate, because my purpose of having a companion is to have someone that I can SERVE, not someone who I need to ENTERTAIN!

Too many folk are in relationships for the purpose of entertainment, (read: having someone to make them happy), and not for the purpose of serving (trying to be a blessing to them). Change your mindset on dating, and you will see why modern conventional dating patterns are ineffective, superficial, and a waste of time.

Great post, Btb. Exceptional! Keep it up!!

[AXEAM]

Originally posted by enigma_AKA
RainMan...

In all of those instances, you'll find the Princess/Diva-esque attitudes...So, even if you branch out some/any/more, you'll get tired of women who think/know they are all of that and a bag of chips.

Every nationality has it's share of something. We got y'all....j/k!!

enigma_AKA

This true....so why don't women say the same about men.

[enigma_AKA]

AXEAM-
We do. You all have your braniac engineer/jock/Que () personalities that overwhelm us at times, but I think for a lot of us, we more or less *expect* you all to have these attitudes. It's socially more acceptable for men to brag on themselves, flaunt their accomplishments, etc. At least that's what I've observed.

All of that it IS annoying but we say "Ok, , moving right along..."Now if you get too 'caught up', as they say, in yourself, well, we know that a relationship will not fit into your mold.

My point to RainMan was basically, it isn't a BLACK woman thing, it's a woman thing or specifically, the women he finds (or whatever). If you keep finding lame ass partners, it's because you are yourself lame. Whether they be a Czech lame or a Boo-ga-da-boo-boo lame, it's all the same. You are what/who you attract--it's a perpetuating cycle.

enigma_AKA

[2Tuff2Quit]

Slightly off topic...but...


Isn't that the Nigerian Doctor from Phat Girlz with Monique????
WoW......I wonder if this was made before or after Phat Girlz??

[AXEAM]

Originally posted by enigma_AKA
AXEAM-
We do. You all have your braniac engineer/jock/Que () personalities that overwhelm us at times, but I think for a lot of us, we more or less *expect* you all to have these attitudes. It's socially more acceptable for men to brag on themselves, flaunt their accomplishments, etc. At least that's what I've observed.

All of that it IS annoying but we say "Ok, , moving right along..."Now if you get too 'caught up', as they say, in yourself, well, we know that a relationship will not fit into your mold.

My point to RainMan was basically, it isn't a BLACK woman thing, it's a woman thing or specifically, the women he finds (or whatever). If you keep finding lame ass partners, it's because you are yourself lame. Whether they be a Czech lame or a Boo-ga-da-boo-boo lame, it's all the same. You are what/who you attract--it's a perpetuating cycle.

enigma_AKA

Okay I agree b/c I also wonder about people men & women who keep finding the same kind of messed up mates over & over again......maybe if they took a moment they would see that . (They are just as messed up as the mates they choose.)

[litAKAtor]

Originally posted by Rain Man
In a nutshell, women who think just by virtue of the fact that they are women, are automatically entitled to get whatever they want from men, and/or are automatically entitled to get whatever man they desire, irrespective of whether or not they have anything of social, spiritual, or intellectual value to give in return. In short, they are spoiled brats, those that grew up getting anything they wanted, usually through their physical attractiveness, and thinking that as adults, they could still get by on their looks alone, while possessing a nasty, selfish, arrogant attitude

Usually, these types are the ones that loudly and arrogantly shout and proclaim that they are:

Independent women
Strong [black] women
Queens/Princesses
"Divas" (OMG, lemme leave this one alone)
etc, etc.

I think this may have already been addressed, but I will put my two cents in anyway- Black woman do not have a monopoly on the above characteristics. . . .our paler counterparts have that on lock (hell many of us don't have the means to posses those characteristics). Notwithstanding the generality (of you and the actor in the movie) - there is NOTHING wrong with a sister being independent, strong, a DIVA or anything else . . I possess ALL of those qualities and don't apologize for it - I am successful, assertive, have my own mind and am not afraid to use for fear of some insecure man (regardless of color) feeling like I am trampling over his manhood. GIVE ME A BREAK!!! this movie does NOTHING but further divide we as a people - it promotes stereotypes re: sisters and doesn't appreciate the qualities we possess . . so hell, if we seem attitudinal, or aggravated or a bit on the withchy side it is because we have been dealing with crap ALL Day long at work and don't appreciate coming home to a man who doesn't appreciate the fact that we are bringing the bacon in as well . . .that doesn't mean that we don't want men, but the fact is we don't NEED a man to feel complete - white girls may feel they NEED a man to feel complete. . . I am a compliment to my fiance as he is to me . . we don't NEED each other to be complete because we were complete people when we met . . . until we start loving one another and appreciating our sisters strenghts, hollywood will continue to play on this image of black women immasculating men . . . the movie is horrible and I will not be wasting MY hard earned money to see it . .PERIOD!!!