Underage drinker gang raped after leaving LXA-Chatt. - Page 3

_Lisa_ · #31 11-02-2005, 02:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by GeekyPenguin
I cannot believe that rather than having compassion for this poor violated woman, y'all are saying she didn't do enough.

I never said she didn't do enough-I think you totally misread my post & didn't pay attention to everything I said:

Quote:

Originally posted by crzychx
But, having never been in such a situation, I can imagine that if the threat was large enough, a woman would comply with the demand. And I'd say 7 men is a large enough threat!

aopirose · #32 11-02-2005, 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by GeekyPenguin
Yes, Jeni, but see, life is never absolute.

I've got my bottle of Triple Black. It's in my hand. It never leaves my hand. I go out to the dance floor because I am suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to shake it like a saltshaker. While I am dancing, my Triple Black is in my hand. This is a fraternity basement. It is not well lit with ample room to dance. My body is being brushed against by at least 4 other people at all times. While I bend over to the front and touch the toes, I bump into sketchy Joe Runningback. He slips a clear, colorless, pill into my bottle in a naonsecond. How do I know this?

I agree. Things happen very quickly.

aopirose · #33 11-02-2005, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by GeekyPenguin
I go out to the dance floor because I am suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to shake it like a saltshaker.

hijack - My new favorite Quote of the Day.

rhochi2002 · #34 11-02-2005, 02:43 PM

It might be that the person who wrote the article, decided to write in a manner that would cast doubt on the girl and her allegations.

I don't think we should be criticizing the young lady. Yes she did perhaps not make the wisest decisions. But I to have made some decisions that were equally bad (in some cases worst). When I was young I put myself in some shady situations, and I was lucky...
Being drunk is not an invitation to be raped or otherwise taken advantage of. It is considered rape in NC to have sex with a person while they are drunk... We talked about it in my Health education class. You can not consent to sex if you are not semi concious or passed out.

Lets not blame the alledged victim...
we make people aware of how to be safer... but you know you are never truely safe.

PM_Mama00 · #35 11-02-2005, 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by GeekyPenguin
It says that he took off her clothes.

Woah lol I read that right after I woke up. Totally missed that one.

As someone who was always a responsible drinker and the "mom" or the group watching out for everyone else, it's hard to feel sorry for someone who drinks themself into a stupor and needs to be "carried" anywhere. I'm not saying I didn't do anything in my younger years that could have gotten me into trouble, but as a Phi (pledge/new member) we were taught to be extra careful, even though we trusted the guys. I'm also not saying that she deserved to be raped or taken advantage of, but, unless she was drugged, this incident could have been prevented if maybe she had been educated well enough about drinking too much or if her friends had watched out for her.

We always had an unwritten rule: You watch out for the people you drove with. Or in regular campuses where you walk everywhere, watch out for the people you went with.

preciousjeni · #36 11-02-2005, 02:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by PM_Mama00
As someone who was always a responsible drinker and the "mom" or the group watching out for everyone else, it's hard to feel sorry for someone who drinks themself into a stupor and needs to be "carried" anywhere. I'm not saying I didn't do anything in my younger years that could have gotten me into trouble, but as a Phi (pledge/new member) we were taught to be extra careful, even though we trusted the guys. I'm also not saying that she deserved to be raped or taken advantage of, but, unless she was drugged, this incident could have been prevented if maybe she had been educated well enough about drinking too much or if her friends had watched out for her.

We always had an unwritten rule: You watch out for the people you drove with. Or in regular campuses where you walk everywhere, watch out for the people you went with.

Big Co-sign

rhochi2002 · #37 11-02-2005, 03:00 PM

When I pledged we had a CDC (chapter Development Co-ordinator) who stress the importance of the watching over your sisters and who you came with to all of us new members.
I was in a colony had usurped a local... and all of the older girls also stressed this to us.
I just think it is important to realized that the girl is a victim.

squirrely girl · #38 11-02-2005, 03:38 PM

i'm a little appalled (okay... a lot) after reading the responses in this thread. a lot of people had some ugly things to say about forced oral sex and how SHE should have been more careful.

please read and reread this thread as many times as neccessary until people realize what has been said. many people deal with rape differently (during AND after) and they are no less of a rape victim for that. and blaming alcohol serves one REALLY GOOD purpose - helping people maintain their just world view...

sorry for my soapbox -

- marissa

preciousjeni · #39 11-02-2005, 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by squirrely girl
please read and reread this thread as many times as neccessary until people realize what has been said. many people deal with rape differently (during AND after) and they are no less of a rape victim for that. and blaming alcohol serves one REALLY GOOD purpose - helping people maintain their just world view...

No one posting here has even hinted that the activity described in the report wasn't rape. Those you are reacting to are expressing serious concern at the lack of judgment among young people who put themselves in the way of horrible people who would take advantage of them, as well as disgust for those horrible people.

On the oral sex topic, that was a side conversation and was basically irrelevant to the report itself. Those comments asked how is oral sex forced on someone.

ETA: You know what? No, let me get on my soapbox. I, as much as anyone else posting here, want to run and give that girl as much love and care and understanding as she needs while she works through this experience.

I do not blame her for the actions imposed on her. However, we MUST educate our young people to these dangers and make every attempt to make them understand the world as it is.

No one here can say that if she hadn't been at the party in the first place this wouldn't have happened. That is not a religious-based assessment in the least. It's plain and simple truth. As I've already said in here, IF you're going to party and have fun, KNOW how the world is and protect yourself.

I quoted a comment from one of the links posted earlier where the girl said she bemoaned the fact that the students hadn't been properly warned. That is EVERYONE's fault.

kddani · #40 11-02-2005, 04:10 PM

I am horrified over some of the responses in this thread.

And people, keep in mind that hoosier doesn't ever post links to his articles, and doesn't always pick the most well-written ones, at that.

It's an interesting dichotmy between this thread, where so many people are saying the girl didn't do enough to protect herself, and the other thread where we've been discussing 3rd party vendors and alcohol policies.

PM_Mama00 · #41 11-02-2005, 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by squirrely girl
i'm a little appalled (okay... a lot) after reading the responses in this thread. a lot of people had some ugly things to say about forced oral sex and how SHE should have been more careful.

please read and reread this thread as many times as neccessary until people realize what has been said. many people deal with rape differently (during AND after) and they are no less of a rape victim for that. and blaming alcohol serves one REALLY GOOD purpose - helping people maintain their just world view...

sorry for my soapbox -

- marissa

I don't think anyone here is insinuating that she isn't a victim or that we don't feel bad for her. And yes alcohol here (until we get all the facts on whether she was drugged or what) is partly to blame for her misjudgement in going home with someone who (assumingly) she didn't know or didn't come with. No one is saying that had she been sober something like this would never happen.

I don't understand the "just world view" comment.

33girl · #42 11-02-2005, 04:24 PM

Here's what I found about it in a search.

http://www.wate.com/global/story.asp?s=4043459

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories...MPLATE=DEFAULT

http://www.thedailytimes.com/sited/story/html/221281

sugar and spice · #43 11-02-2005, 04:37 PM

People are going to drink. People are going to binge drink. Yes, that's unfortunate. No, it's not healthy. Yes, people should play mom to their friends (this is obviously not a foolproof plan). Yes, people should watch their drinks (this is obviously not a foolproof plan).

However, that's another issue entirely because even if she was 110 percent stone cold SOBER she still would have been unable to fight off 7 football players.

Furthermore, staying away from parties does not keep you from getting raped. You guys come up with a 100 percent foolproof rape prevention tactic, let me know.

preciousjeni · #44 11-02-2005, 04:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sugar and spice
People are going to drink. People are going to binge drink. Yes, that's unfortunate. No, it's not healthy. Yes, people should play mom to their friends (this is obviously not a foolproof plan). Yes, people should watch their drinks (this is obviously not a foolproof plan).

However, that's another issue entirely because even if she was 110 percent stone cold SOBER she still would have been unable to fight off 7 football players.

Furthermore, staying away from parties does not keep you from getting raped. You guys come up with a 100 percent foolproof rape prevention tactic, let me know.

I agree with everything you've said.

squirrely girl · #45 11-02-2005, 05:18 PM

sorry if that didn't make sense -

part of a "just world" view ("just" as is fair) is that people don't want to believe that bad things happen to good people for no reason whatsoever. it is easier to believe that there is SOMETHING that the victim did wrong or could have done right than it is to believe that shit happens to nice people.

not that everybody was commenting to that effect, it just occured to me that more than a few of the responses were "seeking a reason" (in one wording or another) and sometimes there just isn't. one shouldn't look for reason in rape, unless they're trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with the rapist.

- marissa