How would you like to go to this college? - Page 3

KSigkid · #1 07-08-2005, 08:05 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by lifesaver
I like that their website ends in a .com

How do you not qualify for the .edu?

Check out the application:
http://www.hylesanderson.com/hyles_a...pplication.pdf

"How long have you been saved?"

bwahahha. If I wasnt a cheap bastard I'd spend the $20 to apply just to see if I could get in (notice theres no requirement for HS or college transcripts). But alas, $20 buys a bucket of beer at Hooligans. I think its money better spent.

I like how they ask if you've ever smoked, used alcohol, undergone psychiatric treatment, attended dances or went to the movies...

They even ask you to specify what drugs you sold and how long you sold them.

APhi Sailorgirl · #2 07-08-2005, 08:18 AM

Ok I may be reading this wrong, but it appears you have to be married and out of high school for 1-2 years (depending on your sex) before you can even go.

Maybe that's because your missions take up that time?

ENTRANCE REQUIREMENTS
APPLICANTS MUST MEET THE FOLLOWING REQUIREMENTS:

1. Married men must be at least twenty years old by the first day of registration for each semester.

2. Married women must be at least nineteen years old by the first day of registration for each semester.

3. No one under twenty-five years of age on the first day of registration for each semester who is divorced and single may attend Hyles-Anderson College.

4. Every student under twenty years of age on the first day of registration for each semester must be either a high school graduate or a G.E.D. graduate. If a person is twenty years of age or older, he may enter our Five-Year Program without
being a high school or G.E.D. graduate; however, intended applicants are strongly encouraged to complete high school or a G.E.D. before enrolling.

5. Three references (including the pastor’s) must be received by the Admissions Office in order to complete anyone’s file.

Which then makes me wonder, if students cannot be intimate in public, how are husbands and wives supposed to "procreate" to bring more children into this "religion."

FSUZeta · #3 07-08-2005, 08:37 AM

good Lord!! sounds like a cult to me.

AGDee · #4 07-08-2005, 09:24 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by lifesaver

Check out the application:
http://www.hylesanderson.com/hyles_a...pplication.pdf

"How long have you been saved?"

Quote:

Did anyone happen to catch the section on employment? It only mentioned men finding jobs!

I'd love to fill out this application and put in there "Approximately 2005 years, since Jesus died on the cross".

The web page on employment says that they work to find safe jobs for the ladies by placing them at jobs with Hyles-Anderson supervision.

What a trip!

chideltjen · #5 07-08-2005, 09:38 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by RioLambdaAlum
is it just me or did the doctors/professors look kinda scary and freakish?

Like they haven't gotten laid in years? Yeah... I got the same impression.

I ran this website by my boyfriend (who is a semi conservative Catholic) and as mentioned before, went to an elementary school taught under the same ideals.

He said that most people that went to his school and followed the Fundie path all the way through college generally came back to the elementary school and high school to teach... and that's all they would do. I guess money ain't a thing? (The tuition alone would send anyone into debt.)

This sooooooo reminds me of the movie "Saved."

RedRoseSAI · #6 07-08-2005, 09:49 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by lauren1874
is it possible that he might reject you as a wife if you didn't have your Missionary's Wife Diploma? I mean, this is major stuff, you know?

You needn't worry about such things, as you're an unsaved liberal heathen.

GeekyPenguin · #7 07-08-2005, 09:54 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by APhi Sailorgirl
Ok I may be reading this wrong, but it appears you have to be married and out of high school for 1-2 years (depending on your sex) before you can even go.

Maybe that's because your missions take up that time?

ENTRANCE REQUIREMENTS
APPLICANTS MUST MEET THE FOLLOWING REQUIREMENTS:

1. Married men must be at least twenty years old by the first day of registration for each semester.

2. Married women must be at least nineteen years old by the first day of registration for each semester.

3. No one under twenty-five years of age on the first day of registration for each semester who is divorced and single may attend Hyles-Anderson College.

4. Every student under twenty years of age on the first day of registration for each semester must be either a high school graduate or a G.E.D. graduate. If a person is twenty years of age or older, he may enter our Five-Year Program without
being a high school or G.E.D. graduate; however, intended applicants are strongly encouraged to complete high school or a G.E.D. before enrolling.

5. Three references (including the pastorï¿½s) must be received by the Admissions Office in order to complete anyoneï¿½s file.

Which then makes me wonder, if students cannot be intimate in public, how are husbands and wives supposed to "procreate" to bring more children into this "religion."

I interpreted this to mean that if you are MARRIED you have to be that age, but single people can be of any age.

Wouldn't it be awesome if I applied and put down "Father Tom O'Malley" for my pastor's reference?

tunatartare · #8 07-08-2005, 09:59 AM

I sent a thing to the Facebook asking them to add Hyles-Andersen College. I'm such a Heathen.

moe.ron · #9 07-08-2005, 10:11 AM

Do they have a virginity requirement?

chideltjen · #10 07-08-2005, 10:34 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by lauren1874
I can't stop reading this. I'm like halfway through. I love this:

"No one may march in the graduation exercises unless his grade point average at the end of the semester preceding graduation is at least .8."

Dude, don't you have to have AT LEAST a 2.0 to graduate from college? I mean, I guess if you've done REALLY well through the rest of college you could still theoretically graduate if your GPA at the end of the last semester is .8, but doesn't that seem a little nutty?

This is the best, though.

"Students who receive bachelor degrees and who maintain a high academic average at Hyles-Anderson College will graduate with honors as follows:
Cum Laude . . . . . . . . . . . . .an academic average of at least 2.25
Magna Cum Laude . . . . . . .an academic average of at least 2.50
Summa Cum Laude . . . . . . .an academic average of at least 2.75"

Are they on a 3.0 scale or something?

My co-worker pointed out to me that while all the guys we've seen in pictures so far are pretty fugly, a lot of the girls in the pictures are pretty cute. So whoever's posting in the thread about meeting women might want to transfer.

Perhaps you don't get as much academic credit for the classes you take. However, I am not sure how one taking these courses would fail them?

moe.ron · #11 07-08-2005, 10:37 AM

2.25 to graduate with a Cum Laude? Dang, where do I sign up?

aephi alum · #12 07-08-2005, 10:43 AM

I still can't open that dang PDF... I even tried IE... but I'm ROFL at the rest of the website.

aephi alum's application to Hyles-Anderson College:

Name of Pastor: Rabbi Jake Schram (ref: Keeping the Faith)
How long have you been saved?: I've been saving for retirement since I started working 7 years ago...
What practical Christian experience do you have?: Enough to know I'd rather be Jewish.
Do you drink alcoholic beverages?: Hoooo yeah.
When did you last drink?: Last night. What a night...
Have you ever sought or received psychiatric counsel?: No, but my husband is trying to have me committed for thinking of applying here.

Somehow I don't think I'm getting in.

AGDee · #13 07-08-2005, 10:48 AM

You missed that the grading scale is a 3.0 scale!

I think I need the Woman the Encourager class. I think I fail miserably at this:

This course helps every lady be the encourager that she was meant to be.... The secret to life is to leave your world and enter someone else's and to make their life better. This is a class that not only teaches how to be a need filler servant , or helpmeet, but also actually plans and helps others in need.

Then I need Woman the Completer: This course studies the role of the wife in making her husband and home complete.

Others that could be helpful: Common Sense Medicine for the Christian Family, How to Schedule Your Time, and lastly, Canning and Freezing.

I absolutely cannot stop laughing...

Dee

AGDee · #14 07-08-2005, 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by lauren1874
So I have a question... if you get your Missionary's Wife Diploma, are you then qualified to marry any missionary you choose, or is there an interview process, or what? I mean, do you then have to submit paperwork to the missionary to whom you would like to be a wife, like a resume with your credentials... or if you met a missionary or something, is it possible that he might reject you as a wife if you didn't have your Missionary's Wife Diploma? I mean, this is major stuff, you know?

You're too much! LMAO here...

greeklawgirl · #15 07-08-2005, 11:03 AM

I was dying reading this last night and was sharing some of it with my husband, especially the degree in marriage and motherhood. He looked at me blandly and said, "Some of this stuff isn't so bad. You should know how to turn a live turkey into dinner."

I told him where he could put that live turkey.

I'm sure that remark reserved me a spot in hell, but that's OK. If they think that Roman Catholics are a cult, then they must think that we Eastern Orthodox are satanists. I was obviously doomed from the get-go!