Tricky sorority-side rush question

[Phigirl04]

One thing to really look at is too find out who in the chapter she's closest too and let them if anyone talk to her family or her. It's easier in the end to be accepting, but at the onset of letting this "secret" out, she may have a harder time accepting it from someone she doesn't see as a close friend. But always talk to her first directly, don't go behind her back without giving her some opportunity to open up. You don't know for sure that she isn't struggling still but getting help. She may just feel uncomfortable talking openly right now about being therapy or other such treatment options.

My thoughts and prayers are still with y'all.

[honeychile]

Originally posted by valkyrie
Right, which is why I would be BEYOND ANGRY if someone reported my problem to student health or a doctor.

I mean, sure it's possible that reporting her to student health or a doctor could result in her getting treatment, thanking her sisters and living happily ever after. It could also result in her quitting the sorority and losing what might be the only support network she has, or worse. I just don't think it's safe for a bunch of people on a message board to be telling the original poster that she must report this girl's problems to someone -- I don't think it's that simple, and want to present the other side.

Originally posted by sugar and spice
honeychile, once someone is over 18 it is very very difficult to force them into treatment for an eating disorder. You essentially have to go through the court system and convince the judge that this person is basically slowly killing themselves -- and that is harder than it sounds. Most women who don't get treatment for their eating disorders before age 18 never go, and even then, it is practically always because they've chose to make a change. As the poster above said, a therapist may be able to get them committed briefly, but that will do nothing for the eating disorder -- in fact, I bet that 9 times out of 10 it would make it worse.

I'm sure that the laws in each state differ, but what we did with our sister was to have a few of us feel like we needed throat cultures and/or birth control, and managed to convince her to come along. Once she was in the hands of the Student Health, well, it was out of our hands. None of us reported her, the Student Health Clinic did - and got her into the court system. Again, we didn't put her there, the hospital did.

And, from what I understand, she's still in the court system, and must report for weigh-ins on a regular basis.

Originally post by sugar and spice[/i]
Personally, while I understand the dilemma, I think it would be a bad idea to put her in the kitchen. Speaking as someone who has suffered from eating disorders, I would have had a breakdown if my chapter had tried to put me in the kitchen. No matter what reason they gave me for it, I would convince myself that it was because I was too fat. While I agree that first impressions are important during rush, and this girl may give off the wrong impression, if you treat her like something's wrong it probably will affect her mental health -- and I'm assuming that's not something you want on your conscience.

I so agree!!

[Debutante]

All of you have offered really great advice in offering help to this chapter for their sister. HOWNOWBROWNCOW, I am sure you and your sisters will take their advice to heart and help your sister to get help..and to be quite frank, SCREW what PNMs think. My sister-in-law died two months ago from her battle with bullemia/anorexia...leaving behind a small child who will never know her mom. Continue to FOCUS on the health of your sister and forget all of the superficial crap that goes along with rush for now.