What if you never get married?

[chideltjen]

My now bf asked me before we started dating "So do you have your wedding all planned out, like most women do?"

I truthfully told him no. I didn't dream as a kid of getting married, having a wedding, etc etc and so on.

I went through a phase where I was concerned I was never going to find anyone in general. But now that I am dating someone seriously, marriage is the last thing on my mind. I've never actually thought about planning my OWN wedding. I've looked through magazines that my roommate had and checked out wedding coordinator sites, but they have all been to get ideas for everyone else's wedding. (I am trying to become an event planner.) I research that stuff to see what is neat for other people, but I have no ideas for myself. I don't really want to think about planning my own wedding because I'm just not so eager to get married and close that "chapter" in my life yet... if at all. My grandparents may say differently. But marriage? Meh...

And it is a health risk for me to have kids, so the whole having kids thing is out of the question. Adopting kids maybe... but I don't think I will have "biological children."

[SmartBlondeGPhB]

Originally posted by Peaches-n-Cream
I am not married. I don't know if marriage is in my future or not, and I'm not going to stop living my life on my terms just in case. My advice is if you want a monogram or a tattoo, get it. (Tattoos aren't my taste, but that's a different story.) I have a few other thoughts on the subject, but I'll add them later.

AMEN!

It's just like people who say "when I retire I'm going to travel".

I may or may not get married. Who knows, and I don't really worry about. I think the only times I think about it are when someone on here brings up a question like this. Even I find a man I love, I might not marry him maybe we'll just live together. Marriage is a piece of paper. It means nothing if you don't love the other person.

I like my freedom. I can go where I want, when I want, with who I want. It only took me about 45 minutes to do everything I needed to do to leave for a New Year's Party. There was no sitter to wait for, no kids to take care of, no husband.

I never really planned on kids (my female health history in my family isn't in my favor) so now I've gotten to where I don't want them. I have enough friends who have them and quite a few who have none.

[ZTAMich]

I love the P-n-C book on love.

I figure, if I'm not married fine, I'll have a Boyfriend or a Not-Boyfriend and things will still be peachy. And if either of those aren't in the picture well fine then too. I've done enough things 'on my own' to feel that I could make it the rest of my life happy and satisfied with a man or without.

HOWEVER, I can't help but think about how I was always pretending as a little girl to be a wife. I was never a teacher, a princess, a ballerina, etc when we played pretend, I was the happy homemaker and that's where I've always seen my life going. I figure that if it doesn't happen I stay in my chosen profession and be 'mommy' to more NYC kids who need a good teacher/mom figure in their life.

[DGqueen17]

I'd be really sad if I didn't get married. I really want a family and a husband. That's something that is very important to me. I want to have a career, but I would like to eventually have children as well. Some people can be perfectly happy being single or just dating someone, but I'd like to be married someday.

[ShaedyKD]

Originally posted by Peaches-n-Cream
I never really wanted to get married. I just want to be the star of a party and get lots of presents.

My old roomate is convinced she will never get married, so when she graduates, gets a real job, and moves into a sweet house she bought with her own money, she's going to have a housewarming party. She can get all the gifts one would get at a wedding/bridal shower, without the pesky 45 pairs of thong underwear that will never be worn. (Seriously, a friend who got married a few months ago said she had yet to wear a single piece of lingere that she got at her shower).

[CutiePie2000]

Originally posted by ShaedyKD
(Seriously, a friend who got married a few months ago said she had yet to wear a single piece of lingere that she got at her shower).

I can believe that. Most showers that I have been to, where lingerie was the gift, was either seriously fugly or the wrong size, or just blech.

[ZTAMich]

Originally posted by DGqueen17
I want to have a career, but I would like to eventually have children as well.

If only we could have both!

[DGqueen17]

Originally posted by ZTAMich
If only we could have both!

I know I can have both. I never said I couldn't I just said I want a career AND eventually children.

[ZTAMich]

Originally posted by DGqueen17
I know I can have both. I never said I couldn't I just said I want a career AND eventually children.

All I meant was that it can be very difficult to have both.

[DGqueen17]

Originally posted by ZTAMich
All I meant was that it can be very difficult to have both.

No doubt....but a bazillion woman do it anyway!

[WVU alpha phi]

I've thought about not being married a lot, and I think a large part has to do with my Sex and the City obsession. It may sound petty, but it's one of my biggest fears to be in my late 30s and not married. I want to be happily married with two kids under my belt by that point!

[RhoSigma2003]

Now ladies, do men really fret about getting married as much as us women do? I don't think so...

Hopefully I am going to be at the point in my life that I want to be at if I ever meet the right guy. I want to know that I enjoyed my life being single, I did want I wanted to do, accomplished my goals, and have the world dangling at my finger tips.

If I ever meet the right guy for me, I think i will be a better and more well rounded individual for taking care of myself during my "finding out who I really am" stage.

One of my really good friends from hs has been married for almost 3 years. He is 9 years older than her. She has put all her dreams and goals on hold for him, for him to accomplish his goals and such. She dropped out of college, stopped being involved in what she liked, and she got really depressed. I AM NOT SAYING THAT ALL YOUNG MARRAGES TURN OUT LIKE THIS.

I guess the best advice is that is YOUR life. When you look back at your life, don't be like "I wish I would have done this, or I wish I would have done that". Life is so precious.
And having a man or someone to share your life with doesn't make you anymore or any less of a person. Be yourself and don't lessen what you want.

(steppin' off the soap box)

[Taualumna]

If I'm not married by the time I'm 40, I'm going to adopt a baby. At that age, it'll be difficult for me to get pregnant, and I don't want to go through fertility treatment and then use donated sperm just to have a baby. I'd like to have a family, and adopting would be the only way. I know that some places want couples, but maybe in 15 years things will change a bit.

[dphies00]

I think most men go through their lives thinking they're going to get married some day... I just don't think its in human nature to believe that we're all going to be alone, not part of a pair.

I asked my dad and my friend and they both said it was never directly in their minds but that they always wanted to be dads in their lives.

I want to be a mom and have a husband who will share my life with me. I am a hopeful romantic, an eternal optimist who just doesn't like cats.
<3

[James]

I don't think I''ll get married.

I don't think I'll be alone.

Originally posted by dphies00
I think most men go through their lives thinking they're going to get married some day... I just don't think its in human nature to believe that we're all going to be alone, not part of a pair.

I asked my dad and my friend and they both said it was never directly in their minds but that they always wanted to be dads in their lives.

I want to be a mom and have a husband who will share my life with me. I am a hopeful romantic, an eternal optimist who just doesn't like cats.
<3