Worst Pick-up Lines

[Sexy Mocha]

Ok..ok..I have to get in on this!

I am sooo tired of being called Ma!(I believe it is an East Coast thing!) A typical "come on" in Brooklyn goes a little like this:

Yo ma...Ma what's up...I'm saying ma...I can't talk to you?...Oh, it's like that ma?...Come on ma...don't be like that ma...Ma, I can't get them digits ma? But I'm saying though ma...I'm saying though.....I can't talk to you shawty...You can't give a brotha 5 seconds? Don't be like that ma... yadda yadda yadda

God forbid you keep it moving and don't say anything....

Oh it's like that ma...it's like that? I'm saying...you all that ma?

At which point I turn around and speak my first words: "THAT'S RIGHT!! I MUST BE ALL THAT FOR YOUR STUPID *SS TO BE FOLLOWING ME DOWN THE BLOCK, SAYING DUMB THINGS!"

[mizzkes]

Yesterday I was walking up to my door with McDonald's bags in my hand. My new neighbor yells from across the street "Hey gul, I can watch you eat dem fries?"

[kitten03]

Mocha I must agree with you. Ma is definately an East Coast thing. I'm a sisterfriend from DC and go to school in Boston. Everything is A Ma...can i talk to chu fo a minut. Ma this and ma that. it's annoying. Dont forget that though is spelled "dough"

One bad line was:
"Do you make friends" Yes "Can we be friends" No

I love when guys are all like you look so good today...I answer, I know i went to work where'd you go.

Gold teeth are not sexy! They smell bad because of the tooth decay under them!

[AlwaysDivine]

Some guy actually told me how I reminded him of a fresh, hot cheeseburger, with a golden brown bun, with special sauce and melted cheese dripping onto the paper. And then said, "Yo mamma sure must know how to bake". WHAT IS THAT ??????

[PRISTINE DiVa]

I just wanted to say that "ma," is not just an East Coast thing. I live in Michigan, and they just make me sick saying it.

I think one of the worst pick up lines I've ever heard was...

Ay gurl, can I dip my nuts in yo' chocalit?

And this fool was serious!!!

[SisterInChrist]

I know that I'm very late on this one but I had to post.

Me and my friend were driving from the beach on summer day, singing along to whatever happened o be on the radio that day. Up zooms two guys in a nice looking car riding at exact pace becide us. These fools are all hanging out of the window. The guy in the passenger seat leans out and yells - Is ya'll gay?! If so we can swing like that with ya'll!!!
WHAT?!
And he had the nerve to have a big ole gold tooth in the very front of his mouth.
And my all time favorite line: Damn girl, yo ti:roll eyes:ies is big. They must make yo back hurt. Can I hold em' for you?

O.K. I'm done.

[mwedzi]

Listening to these stories, I am astounded. I can't believe. . .there are so many men with gold teeth.

[kell1gs]

see i coulda started a new thread but i know how u moderators hate that so i went digging around in the basement and found this one...
I just had to bring it up because i got a note on blackplanet today from some guy who goes "WILL YOU MARRY ME?" now if that aint a line to send a sista screamin and runnin from thise crazy people on the net then i dont know what is. I whish u could send a dummy slap via internet...

------------------
Kellogs @}~~`~~,~~

[Exquisite5]

Ladies, I think I have heard them all. Here are two I was SOOO fortunate to receive (eyes rolling) this weekend alone.

guy: Girl, can I call you matches?
girl: Why?
guy: 'Cuz you sure are striking.

guy: Girl, do they call you mosquito?
girl: No...
guy: Well, you sure are fly.

I think these should go down as the absolute corniest in history.

[princessbee21]

Originally posted by prettygyrl:

My BIGGEST PET PEEVE in the world is when a group of guys or even just one guy STARES at me. I can take all the dumb pick up lines in the world as opposed to being stared at like they have never seen a woman.

Whatever happened to a man just stepping to you with a simple "Hello my name is *** whats yours or something similar?

Girl I feel you on that one!! I just don't understand why they think that it's a compliment for them to be staring @ you!! The first thing I'm thinking is that my button is open or I have a boogie in my nose !! I think most guys just have no cooth!!

[Rain Man]

I think that the reason why the pick-up lines are oftentimes so bad is that these fellas are insecure about themselves, thus lacking any real sense of originality. I think the "Hi, my name is..." while it is definately a start, is a little too predictable and bland. I have learned to either use a discreet, nonchalant approach, or to have such an outrageous, yet tastefully humorous approach, that everytime you look back on it, you laugh. I gave some pick-up lines in the Delta forum, but I am gonna add some more here:

*Rain Man in front of an apartment building seeing a sista coming in or out of the building*
RM: Excuse me, can you direct me to 505 5th Ave.
Sista: This is 503 5th STREET
RM: Well, I'm trying to locate this address here *pulls out scrap piece of paper with badly written handwriting* Or it could be 503 5th Ave. or 506 5th St. *Shows Sista the paper* Is that a 5 or a 6, I can't tell.
Sista: *reading* It is definately a 5.
RM: Well, maybe you can tell me this. Does a Roger McIntyre live in your building?
Sista: I don't know too many of my neighbors. That name doesn't ring a bell.
RM: Oh, well....

Note: This exchange will only go so far, but will give enough momentum to initiate a personal conversation, which is the goal.

*Rain Man at a ticket counter*
RM: Excuse me, but didn't I meet you at the Black Accountants convention in Detroit back in '96?
Sista: *puzzled* No, you must have me confused with someone else.
RM: Yeah, you're right. You have a much prettier face and more appealing features than the accountant did.
Sista: Isn't this a rather tired pick-up line?
RM: *pseudo-shocked* I am genuinely hurt. What do you take me for, one of those gold-toothed wearing, Jerry Curl having thugs that just makes your skin crawl and then you want to run away screaming?
Sista: I don't know you. You could be one in private.
RM: Listen, I read in "The Sensuous Man"...
Note: While it is obvious from the getgo that this is a pickup line, the emphasis is on genuine interest to get to know the sista rather than on insecure one-liners that repulse them instead.

*Rain Man on a crowded bus cramped up near this sista. He lightly steps on her foot*
Sista: Owww!
RM: Oh, I'm sorry.
*About three minutes later, RM lightly steps on her foot again*
Sista: Oww! What is your problem?
RM: Well, I'm trying to get my land legs back again. This type of stuff often happens after I been on the yacht at Lake Erie.
Sista: *with a skeptical look* You own a yacht?
RM: Why, you like boating?

The kicker here is that you don't tell her you OWN the yacht. You tell her that your friend Arie owns it. If your game is tight enough, you can problem get her to kick it with you while making plans to take her out on a cruise on the Ohio River instead.

Originality, folx. Remember that.
RM

[PureIntelligence]

these pickup lines have me crackin' up!*lol*...I think these young cats need to take a lesson from some old school players..I went to visit my dad in his "senior resident apartement building" and these two cute little old men were talking in the lobby...and they both looked up smiling and one said "Glory be to God...he must be having a recess because all the angels are down here!" I had never blushed so hard in my life...I thought it was so sweet.

[1savvydiva]

TTT

[delph998]

This old man (drunk, dirty, and all) tried to holla at me by saying..."GURL, YOU PROPER DOPPER LIKE A WHOPPER!"

I was like WHOA!

[Sahara]

One guy showed me pictures of a car he USED TO have!! He didn't even lie about what happened to it. It was reposessed.

Back when cell phones were still pretty new, guys used to walk by me turning on the phones so that it would make that noise.

One guy did this and pretended to be talking to someone (while looking at me the whole time to see if I was impressed). He must've forgot that you can't get service in the subway!! *moron*