Was College a "New Start" for you?

[astroAPhi]

Originally posted by LionTamer
And as someone said - it's also nice to be away from the people who remember your 7th grade fashion faux-pas.

My best friend goes to a big party school and her friends seem to be really superficial and stuck up. She's reveling in it though because she always wanted to be popular.

Some days I'm tempted to give her a reality check and send her friends pictures of her bright orange foundation.

[TSteven]

Originally posted by LionTamer
TSteven -

How did the people from your high school cope at college?

I always felt a little sorry for the kids from State College High - so many of them got a free ride because their parents were employees that they all ended up at Penn State (felt sorry for them socially, NOT economically!!) .

Every fraternity and sorority had at least 2 people in it from SCHS. Really nice girls would come through rush and get heavily cut because they had pi55ed off someone in 10th grade or something and she had gotten in the sorority first. One of the few sisters I didn't like had rushed as a freshman, and proceded to cut every girl from SCHS that came through rush for the next 4 years. Ugly ugly ugly.

I came from a small southern town and most everyone knew everyone and their social status and what not. Similar to what someone noted before - which were the "good families" and which were not. Think "Steel Magnolias".

In any case, it was expected that you would not only go to college after high school, but that you would graduate. And while in college, you would join "the right" groups, make good grades and be friends with the "right people". As such, there was more pressure on those who attended the Home Town U. because every move made was being watched by everyone it town.

When my high school class graduated, we had quite a few independent minded people. Part of it was the era, but mainly people who didn't care to be pigeonholed. As such, my high school class had the highest number of graduates go out of town for college. And while I don't mean to toot my own horn here, we might be considered the "cream of the crop" and or from the "right families". It was just felt that we needed to get out and be the people we wanted to be and not what the town elders expected us to be.

Interestingly, this has been discussed various times at high school reunions and other gathers.

Regarding sorority life at Home Town U., there were a few ugly years as well. My understanding is that this started in the mid to late 60's. There was only one city high school and one county high school and the local girls usually ended up in one of two sororities - ABC & XYZ. In high school, you could kind of tell which girl would end up being an ABC and which girl would be an XYZ. And this wasn't based on anything specific - like all the cheerleaders joined ABC or the majorettes went to XYZ - but based on friendships. For example, Suzie & Marsha, juniors, are friends with a senior Jane. Jane joins ABC and then when Suzie and Marsha rushes the next year, they join ABC as well.

One year, both sororities had a few legacies going through rush. (daughters and sisters) Because of something(s) that happened in high school both groups ended up cutting a lot of legacies.

A few cut ABC legacies went to XYZ and cut XYZ legacies went to ABC. An additional fall out from this was that friends were pitted against friends. For example, does Suzie join ABC because of Jane or join XYZ with Marsha who was cut from ABC? And there was more. To add to all the drama, this did not go down well with their moms and sisters. For a few years, the rivalry spilled down into the high schools and out into the community in general. Lots of hurt feelings all around.

An upside is that a lot of girls wanted no part of this and joined other sororities. This broke the hold that ABC & XYZ had on the local girls and ended the rivalry to a certain degree.

As for the fraternities, there really didn't seem to be such issues. Most guys who were a legacy ended up joining that particular chapter.

Another interesting thing was that for a while, if a local girl went to college out of town, and joined a chapter that wasn't one of the "Home Town U." chapters, they were often looked down on. Even if that particular chapter was a top one on another campus. I know that when I went to Big State U., two classmates from my high school went there as well and joined sororities. One joined a chapter that wasn't at the Home Town U. and the other, joined a sorority that was very "strong" on Big State U. campus, but wasn't "strong" at the Home Town U. Unfortunately, she got a lot of grief when she went home. But during that time, more local kids went out of town for school so there was more knowledge about other sororities. And for the most part, the "looking down" on girls ended.

Again, this didn't seem to apply to the guys.

[sairose]

College was a new start for me. I had a hard time in high school...I was very unpopular and most people made fun of me. Which is okay, because I'm bipolar, and while I'm totally fine now (been on meds for about 3 years), I WASN'T then...I was out of control. I knew something was wrong with me but I didn't even know what bipolar was back then, and was too scared to talk to anyone about my problems. So, I would be crying my eyes out one second and being super hyper the next. I would also blow up at anyone that looked at me funny, and honestly, I was a bitch. People couldn't handle me, and most didn't like me. And to be honest, I wouldn't have liked me either! So I don't blame anyone.

I started college, went through counseling, got on meds, and became a completely new person...well, maybe just became myself I suppose. I'm very happy, and I have a lot of friends. So yes, college was certainly a new start.

[ASTLuv21]

College for me was a new start. I wanted to meet new people and well grow up. Many of my classmates and friends went to the same universities together. When I see them they are all the same. They haven't grown up much and still hang out w/the same crowd.

I went to my University because I knew I would not know anyone there and knowing that made me get outta my bubble. I still live at home, I commutte but ya know what, I've changed tremendously. I met tons of new people and realized who my true friends are. I have changed personality wise (HS I was more laid back, College I am VERY loud and outgoing) and look wise (longer hair, lost weight, glasses, and healthier). Even my friends who I met my first year of college, my bf notices more, but he tells me that I have grown up a lot since he's known me and when he says that, I feel good because that was exactly my goal.

[ztabchbum]

College was beyond a new start for me. I went to HS in Ohio and college in Florida. When I first went away to school (summer of 97 - I did an early start program) I was about to become engaged. I wanted to go home SO badly but my mom made me stay and I'm so happy that she did. I left my boyfriend and made new friends. I joined Zeta and that was really the start for me. I was well known in HS, but didn't have a huge group of friends. I hung out with some "popular" kids and some "jocks" - I played sports in HS as well. But I didn't have a niche. I found my niche in college and it really helped me come out of my shell. I gained a lot more confidence in myself through college, but mostly through ZTA. I'd have to say that 100% college was a new start for me.

[DeltAlum]

To be honest, I think my "transformation" started senior year in high school when I better defined the direction I wanted to take professionally.

I went to college only about 75 miles away from home, but since about 99.9999999999% of the kids from my high school who went to college went to Ohio State, I was the only person I'm aware of in my graduating class who went to Ohio University.

There, the "transformation" continued -- albeit at a much faster rate.

Bottom line is that I had a great time starting about the summer between junior and senior years in high school.

I should ammend that when you grew up in Columbus in my era, you could sort of "skip" high school socially if you wanted to by attending parties, street dances, etc. at Ohio State. Fake ID's were pretty common then, too. If you could blend HS and college social stuff, you could have a great time.

[ztabchbum]

DeltAlum - I'm from Ohio as well, the Cleveland area. Out of my senior class of about 300-350 people, only a dozen of us went out of state. 2 to Florida (myself and a good friend that I found out went to Embry Riddle Aeronautical University in Daytona Beach, only 15 minutes away from my school). Everyone else went to either Kent State (since it's 15 minutes from Hudson), Ohio State, Ohio University, Bowling Green, or University of Akron. I just couldn't see the reason to go to school in Ohio, in the snow, where it's cold - when I could go to sunny Florida. Anways, it's just nice to know someone else from my neck of the woods.

[Buttonz]

Yes and no. I came to my school with a bunch of people from HS, and I still live at home. At the same time, I met a ton of new people and I was able to branch out and try new activites and stuff that I wasn't able to before, and I changed a lot from the person I was two years ago.

[gphiangel624]

I wouldn't say I "shed" any image I had in high school when I went to college. UCR is only 12 miles away from where I lived (and still live) so it was pointless and a waste of money to live in the dorms or closer to campus (which I learned the hard way).

Contrary to what usually happens when going to school locally, I didn't keep a lot of my high school friends. I didn't really want to- most of them were backstabbing gossip-hounds and most of them didn't and still haven't done anything with their lives. I didn't want those people in my life anymore, thus the reason I found new people in college.

The one thing I'm glad I ditched in the transition from HS to college was my ex-boyfriend. We dated senior year of HS and both accepted admission to UCR. But he was so jealous and annoying that I felt I need to "shed" him... and I did. I don't think for one second that my "image" has changed, but the few friends from HS I'm still close to say I have changed a lot. I think they have, too, but I think the reason why is just because we grew up and that's that.

[DeltAlum]

Originally posted by ztabchbum
DeltAlum - I'm from Ohio as well, the Cleveland area.

Always nice to hear from someone from the Great State of Cleveland. There were a lot of Northern Ohio types at Ohio University when I was there.

Some of us like snow.

I wanted to quickly point out that as the parent of a college student and a college graduate, I think that the opportunity to get away from home and some of your parent's and high school friends influence can be very valuable. A lot of my high school friends lived at home through all or most of their college careers at Ohio State, and I think that stymied their personal growth to some extent. Many of them ended up getting apartments in the campus area (literally 10 miles from home) in their later years of school.

So, whenever possible, I heartily endorse "getting away" from home -- even if it's only a hour or two. I think you learn a lot more about life that way.

For what it's worth.