Adoption: Would you do it? Why? Why not?

[FiestyGourmet]

First, kudos to all of you out there who are considering adoption. As already stated, there are many children out there who need good homes and loving parents.

I'll speak on the side of the adopted child. I was adopted and I'll just share some insight on things that I felt growing up with that knowledge.

#1. Be honest with your child about their adoption. Give them as much information as you can while they are still young. My parents began telling me a story called "The baby story" which was all about my adoption from the time I could probably understand their voices. I finallly realized they were talking about me when I was probably around 4 or 5. But that helped me tremendously to understand what had happened. And it made me feel very special.

#2. Be prepared for a lot of questions about biological parents. Don't necessarily take it personal. A child has that natural curiousity of who they are, who they look like...etc.

#3 Be prepared for the eventual anger that will crop up. "Why was I abandoned...why didn't they love me..." This is a tough phase, for everyone. Adopted children can often have a sense of unworthiness and feelings of not being good enough. Try to counteract that early if you see that manifest in your child.

#4 If your child expresses a desire to find/meet biologicals, again...don't take it personal. You are the parent who raised them, and most often your child will view you as that. They are not looking to replace you with the woman who birthed them or find another father. Most often they are simply seeking answers or possibly looking for a friendship. Not another mother or father. It's too late for that.

#5 Remember that children are mostly products of their environments and not necessarily bloodlines. So if your child is out of control...that's your fault. LOL...I'm kidding...but seriously, most adoption agencies should give you as much medical history as they were given. The only problem with that is it's by no means complete. Your child may worry about health risks and the like. Keep an eye out on anything that may seem out of sorts to you. Which you'll do anyway.

Just my thoughts....

[dzdst796]

Originally Posted by Eclipse

THe Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) which DZDST was probably talking about, provides up to 12 weeks of job protection to certain employees in the event they have to be out of work under certain circumstances including the adoption of a child or the placement of a child for foster care. THis is unpaid leave and will typically run concurrent with any paid leave you have with your company. That is the basics of the national rule, some states may offer more.

This is exactly what I am talking about. I used it when our son came home. But you have to have worked at your present employer for 12 consecutive months to be eligible.

[Eclipse]

Originally Posted by dzdst796

This is exactly what I am talking about. I used it when our son came home. But you have to have worked at your present employer for 12 consecutive months to be eligible.

Yes. Thanks for that addition I did not put that. It is 12 months and 1250 hours. Both conditions must be met to be eligible.

[TheEpitome1920]

I definitely plan to adopt...down the road. I would like to adopt from the state, primarily because there are no fees associated with it. Private agencies are ridiculously expensive. I'd like to adopt an older child, I've heard that once a child is over 5 they tend to have to age out of the system.

[Maat]

i'd love to adpot one day...i'd like to adopt 2 kids/youth in fact. simply because i think that as much as folks look to adopt the wee little ones, the older kids, the ones who REALLY need lots of love and positive encouragement to counter Lord knows what theyve had to deal with in their lives, are oft ignored/forgotten and they eventually 'age out' of the foster are system and more than likely become homeless or worse

[raggann03]

I will definitely adopt even if I have my own children. I used to work with CASA's and after seeing so many children lose their families I know how important it is.