Related to the 'First Name Basis' Thread

[AchtungBaby80]

I am a "Miss," definitely. "Ms." sounds too rough, which I am not.

[Sister Havana]

Mrs: Does not apply.

Ms.: What I prefer.

Miss: Has usually been used by cranky customers to me: "Miss! MISS!" When I was younger, though, we called all our dance teachers Miss Firstname, no matter what their marital status. Same with our day camp counselors. And there are some people I know from the South who call me Miss Rachel from time to time.

Ma'am: Makes me feel old!

[ISUKappa]

My maiden name is long and German and difficult to pronounce, so people avoided it my either just calling me by my first name or the first part of my last name. I hardly ever ran into a situation where people used Miss when talking to me, but when I filled out forms that's what I used.

Now I'm married and I'm Mrs. Hubbyslastname. I prefer Mrs.
(even though I still think of Mrs. Hubbyslastname as my mother-in-law) but again, I haven't run into many situations yet where people use that title when speaking to me.

[Glitter650]

I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE when people (sales clerks and such) call me M'am ... (especially ones that are obviously my age) I know you don't know my name but call me miss... or even hey you before you call me m'am... ARRRGGHHH my biggest pet peeve !!

[valkyrie]

I prefer Ms., and I always will -- whether married or single, because I will never change my name and I don't think women should be addressed differently based on their marital status. I figure that men have Mr. and women have Ms.

However, I think that the important thing is to always find out a woman's preference and address her accordingly. I wouldn't want to be addressed as Miss or Mrs., but if that is what someone else prefers, I will always respect her wishes -- even if she prefers Mrs. Hisfirst Hislast, which I absolutely do not understand.

[bruinaphi]

I agree with Valkyrie 100%.

[AOIIalum]

Hmmm, people who don't know me call me Ms. LastName.

My children's friends call me either Miss Christin, Mrs. LastName, or #3Son's Mom (cute little guy, no matter how many times I tell him to call me Miss Christin, it's always #3Son's Mom instead!) I actually prefer Miss Christin coming from the younger set, maybe it's the whole southern thing or maybe it's just me. A few call me by my 1st name, with my permission. My sons use similar terminology with their friend's parents, with similar permission being granted.

No one is called "Aunt" or "Uncle" soandso, other than my eldest son's godparents and actual Aunts and Uncles.

[MysticCat]

Originally posted by James
Ok . . Am I missing something?

don't Ms. and Miss sound the exact same?

"Miss" has an "s" sound at the end, while "Ms." usually has a "z" sound at the end.

The funny thing is that in many parts of the South, "Mrs." is typically pronounced "Miz," so that it's "Ms." and "Mrs." that sound alike. Every female teacher I ever had growing up was "Miz" so-and-so, (except for the few unclaimed blessings who were "Miss" so-and-so). None ever used "Ms."

As for "ma'am," I readily admit it's a cultural or regional thing, but where I'm from it's just plain good manners for a child to call any adult (including parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles) "ma'am" or "sir." Same thing for an adult speaking to an adult of an older generation, a stranger, a customer, or pretty much anyone else who is not a collegue or friend (regardless of whether they are older, younger, or the same age as you.) It's not an age thing, it's simply a matter of courtesy and respect. You can believe my kids are having "ma'am" and "sir" drummed into their heads.

[GeekyPenguin]

Originally posted by valkyrie
I prefer Ms., and I always will -- whether married or single, because I will never change my name and I don't think women should be addressed differently based on their marital status. I figure that men have Mr. and women have Ms.

However, I think that the important thing is to always find out a woman's preference and address her accordingly. I wouldn't want to be addressed as Miss or Mrs., but if that is what someone else prefers, I will always respect her wishes -- even if she prefers Mrs. Hisfirst Hislast, which I absolutely do not understand.

Ditto.

Originally posted by MysticCat81
As for "ma'am," I readily admit it's a cultural or regional thing, but where I'm from it's just plain good manners for a child to call any adult (including parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles) "ma'am" or "sir." Same thing for an adult speaking to an adult of an older generation, a stranger, a customer, or pretty much anyone else who is not a collegue or friend (regardless of whether they are older, younger, or the same age as you.) It's not an age thing, it's simply a matter of courtesy and respect. You can believe my kids are having "ma'am" and "sir" drummed into their heads.

My thoughts exactly!

[kappaloo]

Originally posted by valkyrie
even if she prefers Mrs. Hisfirst Hislast, which I absolutely do not understand.

My sisters elementary school used to call my mother Mrs. Dad Lastname in correspondence... until she went in one day and chewed them out for it. Now all correspondence comes address to Mr. Dad Lastname and Mrs. Mom Lastname.

But I agree... respecting people's wishes is most important. I always attempt to call people what they prefer (though, lately, if I call anyone by an honourific I'm just told to call them by their first name - professors included)

[justamom]

Originally posted by KillarneyRose

Mrs - I have no problem with this and, since I am married, that is how I refer to myself. The children of the other transplanted northerners I am friends with call me "Mrs. ------- "

Miss - Is how I liked to be addressed when I was single. The children of my southern friends call me "Miss Tracy" and I think that's cute

Ms. - I really don't like this. I believe this term was coined
when I was a pretty young child in the early seventies (correct me if I'm wrong), and I always associate it with the hardcore women's libbers like Gloria Steinem (sp?) and also Bonnie Franklin's annoying character on "One Day at a Time" who insisted on being called "Ms. Romano" Like spandex pants, rainbow sequened tubetops and roller boogie, Ms should have stayed back in the seventies.
Exactly how I feel about Ms.

Ma'am - Didn't used to like it because it made me feel old. Now I AM old, however, so it doesn't bother me. Plus, being around military installations fairly frequently, you can't really avoid being called ma'am. [/B]

So depressing the first time I heard it at the grocery store!

MysticCat81-where I'm from it's just plain good manners for a child to call any adult (including parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles) "ma'am" or "sir."
EXACTLY-Part of the Southern "charm".

My daughter's and son's friends call me Miss________, others that I don't know as well call me Mrs_________. I don't care WHAT they use because if they feel comfortable talking with me, THAT'S the JOY!

[GeekyPenguin]

Originally posted by kappaloo
My sisters elementary school used to call my mother Mrs. Dad Lastname in correspondence... until she went in one day and chewed them out for it. Now all correspondence comes address to Mr. Dad Lastname and Mrs. Mom Lastname.

People used to call my house asking for Mrs. Dad's name GeekyPenguin. I'd always be cheeky and say "I'm sorry, are you looking for MISTER Dad GeekyPenguin?"

Unless my future man has some sort of fabulous last name that will open millions of doors for me, he can keep his and I'll keep mine.

[kappaloo]

Originally posted by GeekyPenguin
People used to call my house asking for Mrs. Dad's name GeekyPenguin. I'd always be cheeky and say "I'm sorry, are you looking for MISTER Dad GeekyPenguin?"

Unless my future man has some sort of fabulous last name that will open millions of doors for me, he can keep his and I'll keep mine.

I'm still uncertain whether or not I'll take my future husband's last name... but I agree with my mom when she said "When I agreed to take his lastname I did NOT agree to take his first name!"

[Taualumna]

Why is it that so many modern women who DO change their names to their husband's refuse to be Mrs. Hubbyfirst Hubbylast? Before the days of "Ms", this was used only for DIVORCEES! I think taking the husband's first name is part of it if you take on his last. It's not that you're legally losing your first name. You're still going to be Yourname Hubbyslast on documents. Otherwise, social invites can always be Mr Firstname and Mrs. Firstname Lastname. Maybe I'm really old fashioned, but I'd be slightly insulted if I received a formal invite that was addressed to Mrs. Cynthia Hubbyslastname (if I were married).

On another note, young boys are tradititionally addressed as "Master", though it's kind of "fuzzy" as to when he becomes a "Mr". Some say 12-13, others say 16 and yet others say 18.