Which ones are YOU using!

[PositivelyAKA]

poplife i hear you girl, nupe4life i hear you bruh, yall kiss and make up

anyway poplife made some valid points, the majority of whites, asians and other ethnic groups do come to this country with a "lets stick together mentality and they do for the most part stick together and support thier own" if all americans were about love and equality of all men then that wouldn't be necessary, but we all know that isn't reality. how many of us would like the asians have several families in one house in order to save money to buy a business etc. most blacks are into the "i want my own, you get your own mentality" other minorities often have no problem and see nothing wrong with supporting one another, just like most whites didn't see anything wrong with seeing all white faces on tv, or even separate but equal legislation, most minorities in america realize that in order to maintain respect and quality of living for the present and future generations of their race they must show unity and sacrifice for the good of the whole now/today. and they are of course doing better as a whole then we are because of that mentality. i think we could learn alot from them.

idealy we should beable to shop/buy whatever works for us, i'm all for that, but sometimes their is a need to sacrifice for the good of the community. other minorities have done it and it has worked for them. can you imagine what would happen if just "half" of our spending went back into black owned businesses and communities, white america would start looking at us differently, money talks and we are big consumers. america doesn't love asians anymore then they do blacks (i don't think) but they love and respect their economic unity and economic power and that gives a race of people a voice and leverage that we as a community still need today, so although i will never "tell" anyone to buy something just because its black owned, big company or small it doesn't matter, its still a black man and a black child, but i will say that the mentality of supporting your own has done wonders for other minority groups and allowed them now to be able to do more mainstream activities for lack of a better phrase now that they have established a respect and strong economic foundation in this non utopian country. it may not be hair products for you, but i would encourage us to support black businesses/products and even start our own black businesses like pop's dad did whenever possible, i hope to do so oneday.

[LadyAKA]

Soror DG is right HONEY does work :-0)

Soror PositivelyAKA I like how your last paragraph was stated and now understand a bit more what some are trying to say ...

I am still looking for a reply on how we are making excuses/rationalizing not coming together/buying from our own.

[Poplife]

PositivleyAKA: Thanks for your post. It's nice to see that folks can understand where I am coming from even though I sometimes I come off as being "militant".

Before I start rambling again I would like to make it clear that I'm not small-minded like people have thought me to be. Like I said before, I only speak about MY LIFE. For instance, when I said I had a problem with Koreans, I was talking about the three or four shops in my town. I do have a problem with them because of the way they conduct themselves and I will continue to dislike the ones I KNOW until they get their act together. I don't know nor do I care what every Korean storeowner in the US is like. There are many other non-black groups that have stores in my town. I shop there simply because they put a lot of the money they earn back to the community. If they're supporting our community centers, schools, civic associations, etc. then why shouldn't I support them?


LadyAKA: When I said "you" or "we" I am talking about Black's in general, not just the people on this board.

Take the original topic of this thread. When I asked the simple question "which ones are you using" most of the people said "I use what works".

Ok, now I'm not excepting people to use any old product on their hair because it's black owned. I sure don't. But why didn't anyone ask "What black owned products work well?"
It seemed as if no one wanted to get out of their comfort zone to even ASK about black hair care companies. Everything I use is black-owned (except for my alternate shampoo). Anyone could have easily asked me what works and what doesn't, but no one did. Instead, people made EXCUSES as to why they don't use black owned products. There might be some out there who just didn't post, but many who were vocal about it didn't seem as if they cared to at least looked into the idea.


About us not coming together: My job is perfect example. When I asked the black Americans why the "other folks" were working together these were the top 4 reasons they gave me:

1. People from (xxx country/ethnicity) are just like that.

2. They just got to this county and that's why they're still close. They're get sick of each other after a while.

3. Because they don't speak English well. (my job doesn't hire people that aren't fluent in English)

4. I don't know.


No one saw/wanted to admit that Black Americans don't WANT to come together as a race because that breaks the "me" mentality that they have come to know. When you work as a group that also includes suffering as a group. Too many of us are too selfish to suffer for the betterment of our people.

[Miss. Mocha]

DANG DANG DANG!!!!!!!!!!! I promised myself that I would not be drawn into this conversation. I promised myyself that I would play "silent observer", but POPLIFE I have a question.


This question is asked with all due respect, I repeat, I am not trying to attack your comment, I'm just asking. This is simply a question, because I found your comment....intriguing.

How can you tell other people what products well?

I'm asking because everybody's hair is totally different. My hair and thick and (for DiscoGoddess) it is SHOULDER LENGTH. It is naturally (never been colored) a shade darker than sandy brown. It is very porous, and at times extremely dry. I rarely have breakage (?) because it is SOOOO thick. I also have a relaxer.

I don't feel that anybody, not even my hair stylist of 14 years can tell me what will work best on MY hair.

I'm not saying that she can't express an opinion about her favorites, but what works on one's hair is very personal.


I (PERSONALLY) would have a hard time taking advice about my relaxed hair from you, because you seem to be so very MILITANT about the fact that you are "relaxerless". (NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH BEING PROUD OF YOUR CHOICE. HEY, MORE POWER TO YOU!!!!!!!). I'm just asking. I hope I didn't offend you, because I am TOOOOOO exhausted to get into a debate over this.


Miss. Mocha

[1 Woman of Virtue]

Originally posted by PositivelyAKA:

anyway poplife made some valid points, the majority of whites, asians and other ethnic groups do come to this country with a "lets stick together mentality and they do for the most part stick together and support thier own"...how many of us would like the asians have several families in one house in order to save money to buy a business etc. most blacks are into the "i want my own, you get your own mentality" other minorities often have no problem and see nothing wrong with supporting one another...most minorities in america realize that in order to maintain respect and quality of living for the present and future generations of their race they must show unity and sacrifice for the good of the whole now/today. and they are of course doing better as a whole then we are because of that mentality. i think we could learn alot from them.

idealy we should beable to shop/buy whatever works for us, i'm all for that, but sometimes their is a need to sacrifice for the good of the community. other minorities have done it and it has worked for them...so although i will never "tell" anyone to buy something just because its black owned, big company or small it doesn't matter, its still a black man and a black child, but i will say that the mentality of supporting your own has done wonders for other minority groups and allowed them now to be able to do more mainstream activities for lack of a better phrase now that they have established a respect and strong economic foundation in this non utopian country... [/B]

Lady AKA, I believe that the sentiment expressed in this quote explains what I meant very well. To further the point,
Dr. Na'im Akbar talks about this subject a lot in his book "Breaking the Chains of Psychological Slavery". In paraphrase, he discusses the "wonderfully thorough" job that slavery did on the Black mentality (destroying the group consciousness, and elevating a "me" consciousness).
Black Americans have an economic buying power that is absolutely amazing. We literallly have the resources (our money) to make drastic changes in our community. But while the White dollar will circulate throughout the White community for years, the Black dollar leaves the Black community in days.
Black people have a HARD time supporting their own. Whether it be doctors (think a white one is smarter), colleges (think the white one is better), lawyers (think the white firm is more successful) or whatever, Black Americans (for the most part) are amongst the very few groups of people who prefer the "Other" over their own.

Now of course this goes waaaaay beyond hair products. And if it was merely hair products, then it wouldn't be a big deal to say "well I buy what works" (which, in an ideal world would be fine). But when we add not being concsious about seeking out Black hair products, to not being conscious about who we purchase our clothes from, to who we buy our cars from, and who we pay to do our tax returns, and who we go to for legal services, and to who we go to get our appliances serviced...well that adds up to a whole lot of money leaving the Black community. Like the sister earlier said "most minorities in america realize that in order to maintain respect and quality of living for the present and future generations of their race they must show unity and sacrifice for the good of the whole now/today". Rarely would you hear a Korean say they're going to buy products from "John and Bob's Grocer" because the prices are cheaper. Their mentality is such that NO MATTER WHAT they will support their own. And that mentality has worked for them. Now we may rationalize and say "I just buy what works" and think nothing of it...but that mentality has kept us where we are--even though our hair may have that extra bounce...

Peace is not the absence of trouble, but the Presence of God

[1 Woman of Virtue]

Originally posted by PositivelyAKA:

anyway poplife made some valid points, the majority of whites, asians and other ethnic groups do come to this country with a "lets stick together mentality and they do for the most part stick together and support thier own"...how many of us would like the asians have several families in one house in order to save money to buy a business etc. most blacks are into the "i want my own, you get your own mentality" other minorities often have no problem and see nothing wrong with supporting one another...most minorities in america realize that in order to maintain respect and quality of living for the present and future generations of their race they must show unity and sacrifice for the good of the whole now/today. and they are of course doing better as a whole then we are because of that mentality. i think we could learn alot from them.

idealy we should beable to shop/buy whatever works for us, i'm all for that, but sometimes their is a need to sacrifice for the good of the community. other minorities have done it and it has worked for them...so although i will never "tell" anyone to buy something just because its black owned, big company or small it doesn't matter, its still a black man and a black child, but i will say that the mentality of supporting your own has done wonders for other minority groups and allowed them now to be able to do more mainstream activities for lack of a better phrase now that they have established a respect and strong economic foundation in this non utopian country... [/B]

Lady AKA, I believe that the sentiment expressed in this quote explains what I meant very well. To further the point,
Dr. Na'im Akbar talks about this subject a lot in his book "Breaking the Chains of Psychological Slavery". In paraphrase, he discusses the "wonderfully thorough" job that slavery did on the Black mentality (destroying the group consciousness, and elevating a "me" consciousness).
Black Americans have an economic buying power that is absolutely amazing. We literallly have the resources (our money) to make drastic changes in our community. But while the White dollar will circulate throughout the White community for years, the Black dollar leaves the Black community in days.
Black people have a HARD time supporting their own. Whether it be doctors (think a white one is smarter), colleges (think the white one is better), lawyers (think the white firm is more successful) or whatever, Black Americans (for the most part) are amongst the very few groups of people who prefer the "Other" over their own.

Now of course this goes waaaaay beyond hair products. And if it was merely hair products, then it wouldn't be a big deal to say "well I buy what works" (which, in an ideal world would be fine). But when we add not being concsious about seeking out Black hair products, to not being conscious about who we purchase our clothes from, to who we buy our cars from, and who we pay to do our tax returns, and who we go to for legal services, and to who we go to get our appliances serviced...well that adds up to a whole lot of money leaving the Black community. Like the sister earlier said "most minorities in america realize that in order to maintain respect and quality of living for the present and future generations of their race they must show unity and sacrifice for the good of the whole now/today". Rarely would you hear a Korean say they're going to buy products from "John and Bob's Grocer" because the prices are cheaper. Their mentality is such that NO MATTER WHAT they will support their own. And that mentality has worked for them. Now we may rationalize and say "I just buy what works" and think nothing of it...but that mentality has kept us where we are--even though our hair may have that extra bounce...

oh, sorry it took so long to respond

Peace is not the absence of trouble, but the Presence of God

[Poplife]

Originally posted by Miss. Mocha:
How can you tell other people what products well?

Good question and I'm not offended at all. I like people that ask and not assume.

To start, I didn't TELL anyone what to use. I suggested they look at black companies, many of whom make wonderful products. I can't tell you which ones work best for you. If you tell me how your hair is I can SUGGEST what might work. I've gotten pretty good with matching hair products to hair types. You just have to go out and try it. My friends with perms ask me about Carol's Daughter all the time (she makes products for permed and natural folks).

That brings me to another statement you made.

I had a good laugh at your line about you trusting your relaxed hair to me. What do you think I'm going to do? Tell you that Nair is a great conditioner? *lol* It's not even that serious, sistah.

You think I'm militant because you don't know me. VERY FEW people on this board do. I can't blame you though. Sometimes when I read what I have written I surprise myself. If you were to have class with me, live near me, and even talk with me on a daily basis, you would never know my thoughts on anything I have discussed here because I don't share how I feel about sensitive topics with people I don't know. I don't bother speaking from the heart because most folks don't want to know or aren't ready for the way I'm going to say it.

Discogoddess said something about getting more flies with honey. That's true for some things, but we are living in a bitter world so I speak the bitter truth.

And for the last time, it's not being chemical-free that makes me "militant"!!!

It's the actions and attitudes that ignorant people have inflicted on me. THAT'S what puts the fire in my belly.

Peace and Blessings.

[Poplife]

Originally posted by 1 Woman of Virtue:
Black Americans have an economic buying power that is absolutely amazing. We literallly have the resources (our money) to make drastic changes in our community. But while the White dollar will circulate throughout the White community for years, the Black dollar leaves the Black community in days...

...Rarely would you hear a Korean say they're going to buy products from "John and Bob's Grocer" because the prices are cheaper. Their mentality is such that NO MATTER WHAT they will support their own. And that mentality has worked for them. Now we may rationalize and say "I just buy what works" and think nothing of it...but that mentality has kept us where we are--even though our hair may have that extra bounce...

Amen. Said alot better than I ever could!!

[sunnydays96]

Originally posted by Poplife:
Take the original topic of this thread. When I asked the simple question "which ones are you using" most of the people said "I use what works".

Ok, now I'm not excepting people to use any old product on their hair because it's black owned. I sure don't. But why didn't anyone ask "What black owned products work well?"
It seemed as if no one wanted to get out of their comfort zone to even ASK about black hair care companies.

Well for me, I never asked because I KNOW what works for ME and on MY hair. Just because I use a non-black owned product primarily doesn't mean that I exclude other products from my hair regimen. I've got a huge storage container with lots of beauty and hair products black-owned/not. My friends don't go to the store and buy products because "I've got my own little shop" as they say. I just took offense to those who just assumed (and you know what they say about assuming-"you make an ___ out of yourself") that because someone uses "what works" that they don't support black businesses which was the main point of the question. But the topic was very narrow and eventually with all the other posts, it showed that there are other ways that black people are supporting black businesses.

[PositivelyAKA]

Originally posted by Poplife:

I had a good laugh at your line about you trusting your relaxed hair to me. What do you think I'm going to do? Tell you that Nair is a great conditioner? *lol* It's not even that serious, sistah.

Peace and Blessings.

oh that was too much, lol, Nair as a conditioner, my my, lol.

[Poplife]

Originally posted by sunnydays96: My friends don't go to the store and buy products because "I've got my own little shop" as they say.

That's JUST what we were talking about. Remember what we said about Black people not supporting their own?

I just took offense to those who just assumed that because someone uses "what works" that they don't support black businesses which was the main point of the question.

Since I am the person that started this thread, I can safely say that THAT WAS NOT THE PURPOSE OF THIS THREAD. If you think that was the main point then you missed something.

The main point of the FIRST post was as follows:

1. To make black people aware of which products in the beauty industry are black owned.

2. To suggest that black people purchase black owned products whenever possible.


You took it way to personally. I'm guessing because you felt you had been lumped in the "what works" category.

[tickledpink]

I too tend to use what works. Because I cut my hair verrrrry short last year, I'm looking for products that will stimulate my scalp. Unfortunately, the BB supergrow products only weigh my hair down and pink oil does nothing for me. I did recieve alot of results when I used the new organic line (scalp fertilizer, carrot oil, and olive oil). My hair's never looked so healthy.

So, now the famed question - is there a black owned product that is similar to the organic products (yes, I've tried the optimum hairdresses as well and they don't work for me)?

[Miss. Mocha]

Poplife, I don't know how to use the stupid "quoting" mechanism, but what I was referring to was the post where you said that (and I'm paraphrasing here, so bear with me) nobody even asked you which black hair products worked best.

And no, I don't think you would tell me to use NAIR as hair grease (LOL), I think concern would come from my belief that you would be judging me somewhere deep inside.


Miss. Mocha

[LadyAKA]

Originally posted by Poplife:
My favorite nowadays is Carol's Daughter. (www.carolsdaughter.com)

Their skin/hair products are all organic. They are so popular sometimes it can take a while for them to fill your order because they get overwhelmed. I'm a big fan of their growth promoting shampoo and their hair milk. When I go to NYC I'm going to visit her store and stock up.

May I ask where in NYC is Carol's Daughter located ... as for the rest of the conversation I will pass - thanx!!

Miss Mocha to use a quote:
say you want to quote my message on the top right side is a paper with an arrow, click on it, it will open the page just as if you were going to post regularly you can deleted pieces of the quote of leave all of it in, try this..hope it works for you!! Now two quotes in one post as I have noticed for the first time on this thread I don't know how to do ...sorry

[tickledpink]

I'll have to try it.Thanks Poplife.