Weigh In: Infertility

[33girl]

I think this is from the perspective of having seen "Soylent Green" far too many times, but I would feel downright guilty if I brought a child into the world without taking care of one who is already here. (that is, adopting one child for every child you conceive) Overpopulation and overuse of the world's resources are very real problems.

If/when I do adopt, I would definitely adopt an older child. Most people want babies, but I don't do the things that most people do, plus I'm not a baby nut - when I see a couple with a baby and a dog walking down the street, I ooh and ahh over the dog, not the baby.

Would I ever do IVF, the whole bit? I say now I wouldn't, but I honestly have no idea how I would feel when the time came up. You never do. The one time I did have a pregnancy scare, I was terrified, but at the same time a little sad that I wasn't. I would have NEVER thought I would have any reaction other than relief.

[AXO_MOM_3]

Originally posted by carnation
We have never once regretted adopting internationally and would do it again. However, there are some people (other than psychos and druggies and so forth) who absolutely should not adopt. They're the ones who really really wanted to conceive and are only trying to adopt because they think they're expected to have a kid.

We've known several families like this--they treat their adopted kids like poop, especially if a biological kid should come along because they never really wanted a nonbiological child.

This is so true Carnation. I once worked with a family that had adopted a girl of six. The girl was about 11 once she came into the delinquency side of the court. She was a wonderful girl, but her parents were NUTS! They would lock the cabinets and refridgerator because they did not want her to have snacks after school. They had totally unrealistic expectations of this girl, and treated her horribly. They ended up having two children on their own after they adopted her, and she really got the short end of the stick. They finally came back and told the courts they did not want her anymore. We happily obliged, put her back in DSS custody and found a foster home for the girl. She ended up thriving there, and turned out to be a pretty good kid! I just hope the poor thing is not scarred for life.

I hate to say it, but sometimes I think people do the adoption/foster care thing for the federal/state aid they get by doing it.