Do Parents Understand?

[uwgirl]

My mom really had no clue about sororities and the greek system because she didn't go to college, so I basically had to edcuate her as I went along because I got the "Do you have to do anything to get into a sorority?" and "Are they going to haze you and make you do stupid stuff at initiation?" She's pretty cool about it though and hasn't really given me any flak about it, besides when it comes to dues, but I just tell her that she lucked out because ChiO is one of the lesser expensive sororities on campus...if you call $581 for 1st semester dues less expensive...well, I thought it was for sororities, but my mom doesn't understand where all that money goes

[AlphaFrog]

My mom tired to tell me she was against it at first, but I pretty much figured out that she was jealous that she didn't rush in college. My dad was weird because he was Greek in the early 60's and he was hazed pretty bad, so he didn't want me joining because he thought I'd get hazed. Then I showed up at their house wearing letters while I was still pledging and he was upset because we got to wear letters right away and we didn't have "earn" our letters...go figure...besides, he hasn't seen our pledge book...I wouldn't say it's hazing, because a lot of the things we have to do deals with academics (seeing our counsler and the scolarship chair, but man did we "earn" our letters that way!

[SLUadpi]

My parents encouraged me to be involved as I could in college, and I found that way to be through a sorority. My mom still doesn't understand why we do the things we do, and all the "lingo" that we use, but my dad was all for it; he's a member of Phi Delta Theta from U. of Rolla in Missouri. "Kelly, what's the name of your sorority? Delta Apple Pie?? "
They really started to appreciate the sorority after our parent's dinner this past semester. They got to meet a lot of the girls and were SO impressed with the scholastic achievement and philanthropic work that we do.

[ADPi-Jen]

My parents were pretty indifferent and they don't really understand the whole thing. I am the First and only greek member of my whole family and my husbands family as well (that I know of).

When my husband and I were dating, his very conservative mom was "highly concerned" when I joind ADPi. She had, of course, heard horror stories (that probably weren't even remotely true anyway) about what happened in sororities. It took her a while to warm up to me after she found out that I joined. I still don't think that she approves of greek life and really its something that I know not to talk about around them.

[KSigkid]

My parents were fine with it - my mom was in a local sorority in college, and although my dad had his doubts, he fully supported my decision.

They told me I would have to pay dues on my own, but I paid for a lot of other stuff on my own, so it wasn't a big deal. They were about as supportive as parents could be, from the time I pledged to when I was president, right up until I graduated.

[Tom Earp]

I was the very first one in my family for 5/6/7 generations to go to College!

Well, I guess they figured after I was Kicked out of one college, changed majors, kicked out of a Fraternity, started my own local that they did not really have much to say!

I also paid my own way through school!

I think they did not really know anything about Greek Orgs. so did not know what to say!

All I know, when they were invited as my guests to The Law Prof. House for cocktails and hor de vours, after Graduation they were very impressed! The guest list was small and My Father who could be ruff and gruff got along with Dr. Riely quite well!

Preface this by saying for Paper Chase fans, (He was the John Houseman of My Era!

Oh, they knew a lot of my Brothers as were from Lamar, Mo. and met them when they would come over for Homecoming!

Mom, rest her though were were a good bunch of boys, dad just though we were a little craqzy! He Loved being called Mr. Earp and had a beer or two with a bunch of College Boys!

[Moxie]

my parents don't understand, but they've never had any actual GLO experience. when i told my mom that my boyfriend was going through rush, she said "why? he doesn't drink!" it was the FIRST thing that came to her mind, that the only reason a person could join a greek org. was if they wanted alcohol. also, she works at my university and one of her student workers is a ZTA. she used to always say that she never understood why Sara Studentworker was in a sorority, because she was so sweet and nice and shy. my mom assumes that sara's mom pushed her into rushing.

AARRRGGGHH. i hate how some people believe themselves to be SO open-minded when it comes to equality and all that jazz, but when it comes to being greek, their open-minds suddenly go into reverse.

because of the above, i haven't told my parents yet that i am planning on going through recruitment. i've registered with my school's panhellenic and paid the FIFTY dollar registration fee, contacted and met with many alumnae, and decided that this is what i want to do. hopefully i'll tell them before recruitment, but if not i'll let them know after i pledge if i end up getting/accepting a bid. i mean, i'm not stupid and not going to stay anywhere i'm not happy! i KNOW that my parents will change their minds if i'm happy and after they get to go to some functions and see the Real Deal. also, i think they should be proud that i am branching out - i spend so much time with my boyfriend, they should be glad to know that i've still got a lot of independant woman in me!

edited to add the following: i plan on paying most of my fees. i have a job and do not have any other major financial responsibilities. of course, if i really needed the money from them i know they would give it to me - i'll probably ask them to buy any formal dresses i need and to pay for a meal plan. i mean, a girl's gotta have a few extra bucks to throw around.

[DolphinChicaDDD]

My parents were a bit confused about me wanting to join a sorority; my mom never went greek and my dad didn't go to college until after i was born. i am the first in my ENTIRE family to be greek. they were confused because I run track and XC intercollegically, and I was a jr when I annouced it. my frosh and soph year, i didn't like any of the sororities on campus and never gave a second thought to the greek system; i was one of those 'i don't need to buy my friends, i have enough teammates and friends' people.
but then i read through the school newspaper and rumors about a local group and their struggle to be recognized, and i instantly knew that i had to be part of them

as far as dues, i had a 'loan' for this semster. let me tell you, being a founding sister is EXPENSIVE. once a letter got sent to them from EO, they called and said they would pay for the rest of the dues for the semester, but any thing else including 'paraphanelia' i was on my own for.

[tcsparky]

My parents attended a VERY conservative church-affiliated college in the late 60's. There were no social clubs of any kind allowed there. When I headed off for college they would not allow me to go through Rush. My mom said I could not join any social clubs, only academic-related ones. So I was in the band (MAJOR partying happening there), the drama club (Have you ever been to an after-show party? not tame by any means), the biology club (OK, that one was pretty vanilla), and participated in dorm intramurals. By the time I had convinced them that I could handle being in a sorority and that it was NOT all about drinking and sleeping around, I was a junior and had lost my opportunity (at my school juniors and seniors just did not get bids).

Now that I am an AI, they are all for it. I gave them the mother's and father's pins for Xmas and they asked a lot of questions and think it is just wonderful.


c y

[ADPiSAI]

My family defnitely did NOT respond well when I told them that I was joining a sorority. I knew that they wouldn't be too happy about it, so I waited until after I got my bid to tell them because I didn't want them to try to talk me out of it.

They grilled me constantly about it... They were absolutely 100% convinced that I was getting beaten up and forced to get drunk out of my mind and do really really stupid things. Ridiculous stereotypes... When one of the tires on my car blew one night, my dad said, "Well, you have to be more careful. I bet you ran over some beer bottles at the fraternity house." I started laughing, and he cut me off and told me that it wasn't funny -- I shouldn't be up there partying so much. You'd think they'd know me better than that... They also said that they wouldn't put a penny toward anything sorority-related.

After a few weeks, they loosened up a bit. A few days before initiation, I asked my mom's opinion on which pin I should order... I had narrowed it down to a few of the least expensive options, but had my heart set on another that I couldn't afford. My mom actually offered to pay for the one that I really wanted. I was in a total state of shock. When they came to pick me up, they met a few of my sisters and saw that they weren't horrible, evil people, but rather really nice girls. My diamond sister (big) went out to dinner with us, and I think that helped a lot.

Now my mom is really interested in ADPi. She's always asking me all sorts of questions, and I've let her read as much of my stuff as non-members are allowed. I recently got a letter sweatshirt in the mail that - surprise- she had ordered for me!
My dad has absolutely no interest in it at all... but at least he's off my case about it.
My brother, however, insists that I only joined for the free beer and is convinced that I've turned into some crazy drunken ho, no matter what I say. *sigh*

[BluAPOcalypse25]

Originally posted by tcsparky
My parents attended a VERY conservative church-affiliated college in the late 60's. There were no social clubs of any kind allowed there. When I headed off for college they would not allow me to go through Rush. My mom said I could not join any social clubs, only academic-related ones. So I was in the band (MAJOR partying happening there), the drama club (Have you ever been to an after-show party? not tame by any means), the biology club (OK, that one was pretty vanilla), and participated in dorm intramurals. By the time I had convinced them that I could handle being in a sorority and that it was NOT all about drinking and sleeping around, I was a junior and had lost my opportunity (at my school juniors and seniors just did not get bids).

Now that I am an AI, they are all for it. I gave them the mother's and father's pins for Xmas and they asked a lot of questions and think it is just wonderful.


c y

Hey your story came out better than my story. At least u have one parent who cares. I live in a community that's anti-Greek. Most of them don't know I went Greek. How should I break it to them?

[KappaKittyCat]

Oh yeah, and my dad's always really excited when he meets another Kappa somewhere. He was at the gym the other day and the lady on the elliptical machine next to him was wearing a t-shirt that said "KAPPA." My dad said, "Excuse me, but is that 'KAPPA,' as in 'Kappa Kappa Gamma?'" She was a little flustered, but told him that it was, and he told her that he was a "Kappa Papa." I hope she didn't think he was too psycho.

I don't know whether we have mom & dad pins-- I don't think we do, nor do I think my parents would wear them. I don't think my mom would wear anything I got her, but I'm going to get my dad a Kappa Papa coffee mug.

Originally posted by BluAPOcalypse25
Hey your story came out better than my story. At least u have one parent who cares. I live in a community that's anti-Greek. Most of them don't know I went Greek. How should I break it to them?

Just tell a cool family member who understands first. My family is so anti-Greek! I can even quote my brothers for saying things like "I don't need to buy my friends" and "I don't need letters to prove my manhood." Since my big brother is a nice balance between being my friend and like a parent to me, he was the only one I told in my family that I was rushing. Yeah, he did say some things about the Greek system, but he also said "Do whatever makes you happy. Don't let Mom and Dad stop you." Once you get the support from someone who both you and your family respect, they're more likely to warm up to the idea of you being Greek than if you just walk up to them and say "I'm Greek and you can't do anything about it!"

Greek to Greek,
That1LoudChick

P.S. I'm the first and only Greek in my family, too!

[angelic1]

Noone in my family was greek like many of you. When I decided to rush I really didnt tell them about it up until right before. So they really didnt know anything about it.. so they really didnt ask that many questions. I think they had some of those stereotypes in their head, but knew I would make a good decision on my own. I would tell them all sorts of stories though when I was pledging which got them very interested.

We also had a very nice parent's weekend the past two years (just after the new members get in) to show the parents what the sorority is like since so many parents like mine had no clue. We hoped by showing them all the great things we did more parents would be supportive. My parents came both years and have loved it. Now they know how lucky I am.

I think that if anyone doesnt have something like this already, it would be good to begin. My parents love my sorority now and can see everything it has done for me.

[Kevin]

There have been Greeks in my family for 3 generations back on my dad's side and 2 generations back on my mom's side. My father is a Phi Kappa Sigma and my mother was (she turned in her badge over some kind of in-house drama) a Gamma Phi Beta. So they both were very supportive of my decision to join a colony. At first it was me who was apprehensive because of some of the stories my dad told me about his pledging process.

But the opportunity to join a colony meant that I'd be in control, so I joined and haven't regretted it since.