Grow up, LOSER!!! - Page 3

IowaHawkeye · #31 03-04-2002, 12:20 AM

I've always thought the Chi Omega Symphony was beautful (not more than the DZ Creed though

) and I've taken these words from it:

~to speak kindly, to act sincerely, to choose thoughtfully that course which occasion and conscience demand; to be womanly always; to be discouraged never~

the next time anyone, regardless of affiliation or gender, gets a PM or email they find evasive or threatening or just plain disgusting - I urge you to please make your first action a report to a moderator you trust and to John. Women: take a cue from the Chi Omega Sympany and do not resort to name calling and rage - be womanly - don't let someone in cyberspace get to you, theyre not worth it and they are pathetic.

The1calledTKE · #32 03-04-2002, 12:48 AM

I think the guys have said nothing because the answer you want is given. Of course most guys on here do not support what that guy did or say. I am sorry it happened. If you want me to write John an email asking him to ban that name and to see if the ip matches anyone else I will be glad to do it. There is nothing else us guys can do to stop the perverts out there. If all you are looking for is support you have it. Trust us most us guys have real lives and wouldn't bother to pm you stupid stuff like that. We have your back... at least as much as we can on a online message board.

h2oot · #33 03-04-2002, 01:19 AM

Nice post Erika. I'm kinda shocked at some of the replies where many of you were apalled at the in-your-face post by huryly-gurly. Mayby she missed that class on being demur and polite when you are getting harassed.

I don't see where its a bad idea to bring this out in the open, since some of those who are reading this thread may have crossed the line a few times themselves. I think her point was to say: "we have a problem here" with the hope that the GC members accept it as a problem.

The responses I read are: tell the moderator, tell John, don't be upset, watch your spelling, if you are dumb enough to read that PM you deserve it, don't use a naughtie word, etc.

What the GC members can do is to support those who are having a problem and don't pile on them as whiney if they complain about it. What the guys can do is stop crossing the line and if you are sending out harassing PMs and emails then stop it.

I doubt if many of the guys here are doing this type of behavior and most of the ones who are, prolly don't mean it to be as offensive as those who receive it do. Remember, harassment is in the eye of the person on the receiving end. The bottom line is: if you are doing this behavior then stop it.

damasa · #34 03-04-2002, 02:12 AM

It's funny, some of the women didn't see anything wrong with the post?! Some did, and that's fine. The point I was getting at is it's not all of the guys sitting her pming the women of gc and asking them if they do it anal or whatnot. I don't know who it was, nor do I care, but in that same sense, what the hell am I supposed to do about it? Ignore the person, report the person, don't blame the other guys or girls that weren't involved nor don't know anything about it. As for the trust issue, it's not an issue of the girls not being able to trust the guys, it's all, guys trusting guys, girls trusting girls, guys trusting girls and on and on. Like I said before, this is the infamous "cyberspace." Expect to encounter beings of the thirdkind. That should be understood before you log on, dial-up, sign in, whatever. If you don't want to be subjected to it, maybe you shouldn't turn the puter on. Further, Like I also stated, many many ppl visit this site, so I'm guessing it's someone who isn't a regular to the site, or even registered, but was looking through info and got it.

Hootie- your caps lock is broken.

***edited part***
And furthermore, what does hiding behind a new nickname accomplish?! In due time, one could easily figure out who it is simply by similar word usage, punctuation, spelling, all that good stuff. Especially if they are a "notable gcer." Just food for thought.

damasa · #35 03-04-2002, 02:41 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by amycat412
I think everyone is over-reacting here. I don' think anyone said or meant to imply that ALL the men of GC are a-holes. That's FAR from the truth. The majority of you are intelligent, fun and gentlemanly.

Amy

In the past month or so, many of the ladies have experienced difficulties from some of you assholes.

If you guys want the ladies to stay here, then you'd better find a way to straighten this situation out.

From the words of the thread starter...that statement implies that ALL the men on GC are assholes. Sorry, but that's the way it is worded

The she goes on to think that Killarneyrose was "dissing her" and not looking at the situation. Maybe she should not "diss" the "assholes" and look at the WHOLE situation.

damasa · #36 03-04-2002, 02:56 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by amycat412

See I read it with the emphasis on the SOME, and yeah, a better way to word it would be some of THE assholes...

Yet, it says some of YOU assholes, not some of THE assholes. Read that way means that it is coming from some of "all" the assholes.
As for you amy, you are awesome, i love your posts and whatnot. BUT, when someone "a notable gcer" posts something like this, it's weak and better yet, something that I feel they can't deal with the consequences of it. I stuck of for some of the women involved in the whole kevin thing, you know, now I look at it, maybe I shouldn't have? That doesn't seem to influence some thoughts on this matter.

OKsoonergirl · #37 03-04-2002, 05:49 AM

6ulvd8??? Come on... what is it!?!? I guess I'm just naive.

~R

AlphaGam1019 · #38 03-04-2002, 07:48 AM

6ulvd8 = sexual deviant

justamom · #39 03-04-2002, 07:54 AM

Please remember, it doesn't HAVE to be a guy...

tridelta4ever · #40 03-04-2002, 09:06 AM

Damasa - First things first, I have always liked you and never had a problem with you, so let's just get that straight.

When you supported me, and the rest of the *many* women who had to deal with the Kevin shit, I appreciated it greatly. But please don't think that I required your support in order to solve the problem. It was a nice bonus and the right thing to do - not the result of my pleading for your help. Anyone who read that thread knows that I have no trouble sticking up for what I know is right, even sticking my own neck out on behalf of others, and I don't need a man by my side yessing everything I say or do.

I look to the men of GC the same way I look to the women here - as acquaintences, debate partners, and sometimes even friends. I have never and will never depend on any of you to do my dirty work or come "rescue me". If anything, I would only contact those who I am close to for personal support and understanding. As I recall, Damasa, you contacted me offering support for the Kevin fiasco, I didn't come whining at your door. Don't get me wrong - I appreciate it because I think it was a measure of kindness, not because you thought I couldn't handle things myself.

I think it's really sad that some of you are caught up in the semantics of specific posts instead of focusing on what is going on here. This is NOT about one IM asking someone if they "do anal", this is about a growing trend that is really not acceptable. I don't think that anyone here has any incentive to lie or misrepresent the truth. So why is it that only a few people are expressing concern and reaching out, and the rest are either missing the boat entirely or making crass, insensitive comments?

I believe that one of the first things we can do to make this safer is to be careful with our own information. Guard it carefully - it is so easy to crack someone's email account just knowing their birthday and where they live, which a lot of people don't realize. We may think we know each other, but in reality, any one of us could be a fat pimply faced serial killer named Johnny/Susie Numbnuts. If someone is asking you questions you feel uncomfortable answering, go with your gut. No one has the right to make someone else feel uncomfortable on this board. I also think that making this a "members only" board (no "guest" posts) might help the matter some. Also, if there is any way to initiate an authentication process to make sure people don't have 6 user names coming from the same server...Heck, I don't know what the answer is, but something should be done.

Thanks for listening,
Carrie

carnation · #41 03-04-2002, 09:35 AM

As a matter of fact, a girl has sent messages like that to GCers before.

ErikaXO · #42 03-04-2002, 09:47 AM

First of all, to the guys.....I am not suggesting that you "threaten" anyone!!!!! What good would that do??? All I am saying is that instead of coming up with really supportive (detecting the sarcasm here) suggestions such as getting off GC if we don't like it, etc. you could just say something like "Hey sorry to hear that, that isn't cool." Or here's a wild thought....if you don't have something supportive to say, don't say anything at all. At the very least don't inadvertently give the few jerks that there are the idea that what they are doing isn't a big deal.

I for one don't need anyone to take care of anything for me.....do I think it is great that a sister took a stand for me? Yes!! I have no problem stating on here unequivocally that I am not looking to flirt or pick up a guy or generate male interest in me beyond friendly conversation on the boards.....I really don't care if anyone on here finds me attractive or not and I am not interested in sex talk beyond what we chat about as a group on the boards in a general fashion.

Finally, I just want to say that reporting things to moderators does NO GOOD.....beyond booting someone off there isn't a thing that they can do that I can't do myself. If they want to come back they are going to get another nic and come back. I think it would be a lot more effective if we just took a stand together as a group (remember, that's what we're supposed to be) and say "This kind of thing isn't acceptable." If there is anyone out there who thinks it's cute or funny or sexy or whatever, you all can get together on your own time and im and pm to your heart's content. I would hate to see this GC gang dwindle, and see really great people leave because of stupid stuff like this. Most of us have contributed good things to the group and to the discussion and it would be a shame for it all to fall apart over something that quite frankly, we should all be on the same side about.

damasa · #43 03-04-2002, 09:48 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by tridelta4ever
As I recall, Damasa, you contacted me offering support for the Kevin fiasco, I didn't come whining at your door.

WHOA, even though it's off the subject at hand. I NEVER contacted you offering support. You had replied to one of my posts in Kevin's thread and all we did was talk about what had happened. Nothing I said or did was factored because of us talking, therefore I didn't have to "offer you support."

Quote:

Originally posted by tridelta4ever
I think it's really sad that some of you are caught up in the semantics of specific posts instead of focusing on what is going on here.

Yes, the "you." Well, some of the "yous" are caught up and we didn't even want to be. How? By the starter of the thread wording her post to make it seem as though every guy on gc is an "asshole," and that IS how she stated it, mind you. And to be honest, that is part of what is going on here. Some "notable gc member" who posts under an alias and basically lashes out at the guys on gc, and maybe even some of the girls. What I find really weak is that I CAN guarantee that the person is still posting under the name they were using before they created that name. To me, all it is, is a scapegoated name, used so the person wouldn't have to directly deal with the "flaming" they got from some of the poorly worded statements.

Quote:

Originally posted by tridelta4ever
[B]So why is it that only a few people are expressing concern and reaching out, and the rest are either missing the boat entirely or making crass, insensitive comments?[?B]

Hey, I'll express concern if asked directly. But I refuse to after being placed in a category where the original comments about the gc men came from. And like you said you didn't need any help from anyone, but I take it that some people are asking the gc men to do something about this. 1. We don't know the person. 2. They aren't a gc regular. 3. If we threaten someone on the internet, it could be considered a crime. 4. Maybe the thread SHOULDN't have been started in the first place, considering that the person who sent the msg is obviously not of caliber with the other gc men. NOW, did anyone think of that point?!

"Crass, insensitive comments?" It's rather ironic talking about it because the first "crass, insensitive comments" were made from the person who started the thread, like I've stated many times already. And are the people that don't view it that way "missing the boat entirely?" Granted the person who started the discussion might not have wanted to state it the way it was said, BUT it was, and you have to understand, that's HOW some of the "GC MEN" perceive it.

damasa · #44 03-04-2002, 09:55 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by ErikaXO
First of all, to the guys.....I am not suggesting that you "threaten" anyone!!!!! What good would that do??? All I am saying is that instead of coming up with really supportive (detecting the sarcasm here) suggestions such as getting off GC if we don't like it, etc. you could just say something like "Hey sorry to hear that, that isn't cool." Or here's a wild thought....if you don't have something supportive to say, don't say anything at all. At the very least don't inadvertently give the few jerks that there are the idea that what they are doing isn't a big deal.

Read what I just posted directly above this. 1. It's not just guys saying "get off GC." Some of the gc women have made comments as to reporting it to the mods and whatnot as well, let's get that misconception out of the way. Nothing supportive to say? Hell, the person that started the thread wasn't too damn supportive herself. Nothing supportive to say? Do you imply that we should all be "gung-ho" about this and be supportive?! "Lift up your keyboards followers, let us battle the almighty evil and contempt of Greekchat. It is the key to our salvation, and for Godsake be supportive about it."

Hey, for what it's worth, i'm sorry it had to happen, but, I didn't send the pm/im and i didn't make the initial "unsupportive comments" when the thread was started. Maybe if it wasn't meant to come out the way it did, the starter of the thread should have stated that long ago?

tridelta4ever · #45 03-04-2002, 10:08 AM

No offense, 33girl, but what is a moderator going to do? I don't think they necessarily have any special powers (other than to kick people out of chat rooms, post on the moderator board,etc. ) What are they going to do?? Especially if someone got a hold of your IM and is now abusing it by sending you rude/disgusting/invasive messages. There's nothing that makes moderators qualified to trace IP's, track people down, etc., although some of them may be very eager to help. Don't take this the wrong way - I have nothing against moderators on this board!

I just don't think that contacting them is going to do squat to solve the problem. John is the only person who really do anything, and he's too busy to serve as our personal a*hole police, and besides, it won't do anything to stop this crap from happening in the long term.

That's why I really respect that HurlyGurly and anyone else brings as issue such as this to the boards and let's everyone know what is going on, so we can support each other, share ideas, and hopefully come up with a workable solution. It's easy to think you're the "only one" if you receive a message like this, so it is extremely helpful to be able to hear that you're not the only one!

If you don't want to read about other people's problems, and feel like it's wasting your time, - then don't read threads like this one! It's that easy.

Quote:

Originally posted by 33girl
So, I guess James, damasa, KABM, are all going to go out with torches and bloodhounds looking for 6uldv8?? (Actually, that might be pretty cool.) We don't need a battle of the sexes on here, especially with the "I am an empowered woman" thinking one minute, and "boo hoo guys, please help me" the next. Help yourself - don't look to the guys to do it.

Once again, if there is a problem with any user on this board, REPORT IT TO A MODERATOR.