UNC Recruitment so far

[DubaiSis]

I've been involved in various alumnae associations as I've moved around and one thing that almost never comes up is who was in a struggling chapter and who was in the IT girls chapter. We all look and behave the same as grown ups!

That is small consolation right now, but if she can look at the big picture, she can appreciate her great sisterhood for what it is, not for what it isn't or could be.

[NorthernMom]

The whole concept of tiers is just so frustrating to me. Based on what?? Looks? How well they did in a homecoming decorating contest or talent competition? Grades? Who determines this??

It creates an environment where girls come in thinking they need a certain chapter or chapters because they are in the top tier by someone's estimation.

What is important is to find like minded people you can see yourself forging a bond with. So if you are a high achiever and high grades are really important to you, then look for a chapter that holds those ideals high. If you want a chapter that is a bit more "laid back" and isn't super competitive about things, then look for a chapter with those qualities. If you are preppy, hippie, athletic, etc.....look for girls you feel may share those qualities, though I am sure every chapter will have girls who fit those descriptions.

College is a time to begin thinking for yourself and to not be narrowed down into thinking your must fit in a "tier".

[AOII Angel]

Tell your daughter to put a sign back on her door! Why let someone ruin her fun? Have her call her Bid Day Buddy or other active assigned to her this week. She should tell her what happened and I ask her to help her make a new sign for her door. It will give her an opportunity to spend time with a/some sisters and show some initiative.

[thetalady]

It breaks my heart that young ADULTS can be so hurtful and mean. These are not kids who dont' know better. I hope your DD is able to enjoy her new sisters and rise above their heartless actions.

[TarheelMom]

Thank you all again for your support of my daughter AND myself! I saw something this morning that is a good sign! There was a picture of her before the football game yesterday where she was with a few other girls and she had a sorority button on that had her letters! Several of the girls in pictures I saw had similar buttons so that must be a "thing" these days. I'm so proud of her for wearing her letters for all to see! She may come out on the other side a stronger young woman because of this experience. If she had joined a higher tier sorority, I have to wonder if she would have been included at a pre-game gathering - she is soft-spoken and shy at first, and not quick to make friends. I looked at the sweet faces smiling in this picture and just wanted to reach through my computer and hug them!

[33girl]

Drunk freshmen do really stupid shit. Period.

If she didn't have a roommate in a different group, and I was that sorority, I would come over and PLASTER her door with sorority symbols, colors etc. In your face and unapologetic, only way to be in this scenario. This group needs to get some righteous anger going.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by TarheelMom

Thank you all for your advice. I talked with her last night and again encouraged her to stick it out for a few weeks before making any decisions. She said the sisters have been wonderful - they've all friended her on FB and sent sweet messages about how happy they are to have her. She seemed very upbeat on the phone. Then this morning she texted me a picture that broke my heart. Everyone that pledges a sorority is surprised by a dorm door decoration with their name on it - usually it is their sorority symbol. My daughter's had been torn and vandalized. She lives in a coed Freshman dorm, and Thursday night is a big night out. Someone probably thought they were being funny. Her roommate's door decoration for a different sorority was untouched. If she sticks this out, I will admire her so much and it will show such a strength of character.

College students can be dumb, drink, and ignorant sometimes. This probably had nothing to do with her sorority specifically, but even if it did, don’t let this get her down. This is just a small drop in the bucket in the grand scheme of things. She shouldn’t let this one a-hole ruin what could be a lifetime commitment in an amazing organization!

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

I've been involved in various alumnae associations as I've moved around and one thing that almost never comes up is who was in a struggling chapter and who was in the IT girls chapter. We all look and behave the same as grown ups!

And there are dorks like me who get really excited when I see someone at the mall or grocery store who’s wearing letters, even if they’re not from my own organization. We’re all Greek. We all “get it”. And we know that there are amazing people in all of our organizations.

TarheelMom, after the dust has settled and the first couple weeks of the semester have passed, with recruitment in the rearview mirror and mixers, philanthropy events, and chapter meetings in full swing, all of that other stuff your daughter has been dealing with will melt away. What she’ll be left with are moments and experiences - with a great group of sisters – that will last a lifetime.

I hate to sound like a Hallmark card, but: Recruitment is temporary. Sisterhood is forever.

[pinksequins]

Kudos to the roommate, and kudos to your daughter!

[FSUZeta]

Such a good article!

[wildcatpride]

TarheelMom, I'm a high school teacher and one of my former students just graduated from UNC; my former student, as a freshman, joined the probably "lowest-tier" chapter, according to the stuff I've read online. She LOVED her experience at UNC and in her sorority. I encouraged younger students who had concerns about going Greek to talk to her, because she never had anything negative to say about her sisters or her sorority. I have former students in other chapters at UNC as well, but I've never heard any of them be as passionate about their sorority experience as she was.

[Aloha123]

TarheelMom - I think it is wonderful that your daughter is giving this house a chance and that you encouraged her to do so! I had a "rec girl" go through a tough SEC rush and was thrilled to hear she got a bid. Now I've come to find out she turned it down. I am sooooo disappointed and think she will end up regretting her choice. Unfortunately, her mom did not know much about sororities and how recruitment works, and this PNM was on her own and listened to the tent talk. Your daughter is very lucky to have a Mom like you!

[mom2many]

Tarhill Mom- my heart just broke in two reading what happened. I'm so glad she has such a sweet and caring roommate. My daughter also joined what is considered a lower tier house on her campus but she LOVES it! The girls have all been so so welcoming and so sweet. My daughters been through a lot over the last couple of years. I'm so glad she's in such a sweet group.

I wish my daughter had your roommate or that they could be suite mates. My daughter has the 'mean girl' as a suite mate and her roommate has chosen the other side. They are making my daughters life a living hell. I'm so glad she can leave that room for her outings!

I hate that out daughters had mean things happen but do happy they have such a good group to fall in love with. I hope your daughter continues to find happiness in her new house!

[FSUZeta]

mom2, i am sorry that your daughter has an immature, petty, and mean roommate. Thank goodness she has sisters to support her. Hopefully soon her roommate will lose interest in making your daughter's life miserable. If not, perhaps your daughter can speak to the RA or the RM.