Feeling really down about myself...why didn't I get asked back by any sororities?

[APhi4Ever]

I remember this poster. Glad someone QFP'd.

[AnchorAlumna]

Same post on CC.
I call troll.

[adpiucf]

Originally Posted by RKelly74

My GPA was not the best freshman year, but it wasn't horrible either, and the sorority girls I talked to said they don't look at the academics that much; it's mostly about the friendships you make. There seemed to be hundred of girls rushing, so I don't know how the sororities could even know me or remember me enough to reject me at this point. I saw some girls that I knew from freshman year rushing the new potential members, so do you think if a couple girls didn't like me or something they told the rest of the sororities? What went wrong? Maybe I talked about something I shouldn't have during our conversations?

I think you told the sororities yourself; you just didn't know it. You posted personal information about yourself and your preferences on the internet, making it easy to ID you. Likely, Greeks from your school learned of these postings and could have cut you for your statements that you would only consider certain sororities. Additionally, you may have made similar statements to your roommates or other Greeks, and people do talk. Likely, this combination of factors accounted for such heavy cuts. You should be more careful in the future of how you conduct yourself online.

I know you are disappointed, but you advertised that you would only consider a couple of the sororities at your school, and I'm guessing word got back to everyone. I think it is very unlikely you will be successful if you try to re-rush at this school.

I don't know what your grades were, but with the statement that your grades weren't the best/yet weren't horrible, I'm guessing your GPA fell below the minimum standards required by each chapter. That, along with your upperclassman status, likely accounted for many early cuts. As a sophomore, you needed to come in with stellar grades and a strong positive reputation.

I'm guessing a combination of iffy grades, upperclass status, and your own gossiping led to these cuts.

That's my theory, anyway. I wasn't in membership selection at these chapters, so there is no way to know for sure.

[BlueCarnation]

Oh, so much to say...

First, unfortunately, I think many of us who read "RKelly"s last thread probably were thinking the same thing that ZTA was, but we just didn't write it. OP's original post was incredibly rude, self-centered, and offensive to many of us. I tried to chalk it up to her being an insecure 19ish year old, but to come back AGAIN and post the same thing? Wow.

Sarah/RKelly/OP, I can't say I'm surprised that you were only asked back to one house, and frankly, I'm very curious to know which one it was. I certainly hope it was not mine. If I somehow could have found out exactly who you were, I would've sent this entire thread to my chapter's recruitment chair. The Greek System at Michigan is much smaller than you think. Of course girls in any sorority are going to encourage you to rush--they would never tell you not to. And do you really think any guy has any say in who gets chosen for a sorority? Seriously? I'm not giving away any secrets here, but I can tell you that girls are not chosen based on their cute outfits and the fact that some Phi Psi liked them at one point. Each sorority has stringent membership criteria and you clearly didn't meet it. For any of them. Maybe it's time for a little self reflection. Maybe it raised a red flag for them when you told them you were a sophomore living with juniors you didn't know--could you not find anyone in the dorms to live with after freshman year? Maybe you only seemed concerned about who you were going to pre-party with? Despite what you think you might know, there is more to Greek life at UM than that. Do you actually know any girls in Tri Delt, Kappa or Alpha Phi? Do you know which one has the Red Dress gala? Do you know which one has an Olympian? I'm guessing no.

There are something like 500 clubs at UM. Maybe you should think about what you're really interested in and go join one of them. Or focus on your school work. Or focus on making some friends.

I really hope you did drop. There are many young women who sign up for recruitment for the right reasons and deserve to be in one of the outstanding sororities at UM. It usually works out as it should.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by RKelly74

Freshman year, I met a popular guy in phi psi (the "top" frat at out school) who had a crush on me, and he said to definitely rush as a sophomore because he thought I would get a top house, which in his mind is Tri-Delt (I guess because he thought I was attractive).

I just had to laugh at this part. Dudes really will say anything to try and get in a girl's pants. If you'd told him that you hated that all anyone focused on was your looks and not your brains, he would have said you should definitely apply for membership in Phi Beta Kappa.

[Hartofsec]

Good judgement comes from experience, and experience sometimes comes from bad judgement.

(said somebody somewhere)

I hope the OP learns from her experience.

[dukemama]

Originally Posted by Hartofsec

I hope the OP learns from her experience.

Ditto. And keep in mind that some young adults simply mature later than others. I know I was in my mid-20s before I was able to act my age socially. Needless to say, sorority recruitment was a disaster for me!

[ellebud]

Ok...so I read the OP's original question. To paraphrase...I didn't have the wherewithall to go through recruitment my freshman year. I want to be part of the most popular houses at the University of Michigan. How do I get my dream?

Most pnms who write their stories start out my wanting the "best" houses on campus. (I have never seen a thread that said ABC has the worst return rate and they are fighting for their house to remain open.) I have seen just a few threads where the pnm got the "best" house(s) on campus. Generally, the pnm who gets the "best tier" houses say, "I'm so happy I am now an ABC!" MOST of the time the pnm discovers a new path and is happy that she kept the proverbial open mind.

The OP here was perhaps inflexible....rude....childish....blinded by perceived status.
She is living with her choices. I do not see an apology ZTA...or even a hint that she regrets her attitude or her post.

[ellebud]

It is certainly possible that the OP is a troll. Unfortunately the scenario happens often: Girl wants top tier house. Girl gets dropped by the top tier houses. Girl assesses options. Girl decides to drop because other houses aren't worthy of her. And now she is sad.

OR Girl gets dropped by the "best" houses. Girl looks around and sees all her options. Girl pledges and is happy. She is in the "best" house.

[IrishLake]

The OP has PMed me and nicely asked if I'd remove my QFPs. I'm going to politely say no. I'm not being bitchy about it, but the damage has been done for you RKelly/Sarah. Your invite list is your proof that you messed up just about any chance. Deleting QFPs will not get you closer to a bid. You now have to live with the consequences, and I do hope that you've learned a valuable lesson. I think this thread will serve as a great example and lesson to other PNMs. The internet is forever, and sorority women are smart and observant. Post too much personal info, and they WILL put the pieces of your puzzle together, so don't act the fool online.

"I know you like to think that your shit don't stink, but, Move a little bit closer, see, roses really smell like poopoopoo." ~Outkast

[APhi4Ever]

She pm'd me too. I figured why take it down when about 5 other people QFP'd as well? Not all of them are going to take it down. The damage has been done, learn from your mistakes and move on.

[fascination]

I no longer think she's a troll. She PMed me and asked me politely and contritely, too. A troll wouldn't do that. I deleted my post because she asked nicely and because we were all 19 and really stupid once, too. Fortunately for me, I was 19 and stupid before the internet age made the evidence of my stupidity permanent. Can we take the high road and cut her some slack ladies? She's been hurt enough already, and she DID use the magic word in her PM -- "please." Come on, ladies. Think of the stupidest thing you ever did by age 19, and be glad it's not posted on the internet (assuming that it isn't).

[AZTheta]

Wait a second. I think we're talking about the ZTAthebest poster as being the troll. Or are we talking about two trolls? What? Somebody HELP me out here.

[fascination]

AZTheta, I was referring to OP as a possible troll. I had originally assumed privately that OP could be completely fake --a troll. Correct me if my terminology is wrong, but I thought a troll was someone who joins GC just to post bogus and inflammatory stories and questions with the sole purpose of eliciting negative and excited responses.

(I hope OP IS a fake/troll because I hate to think that someone really is going through what she is now.)

[adpiucf]

OP double posted this and her other posts to College Confidential, so I'm pretty sure she's the real deal. I knew so many girls like this in college, who had no idea what recruitment was all about and didn't take the time to learn about the process because of preconceived notions and their belief that they were in charge of their sorority destiny. The internet compounds this problem. If OP was so forthcoming online, I believe fully that she said these same things prior to recruitment in the presence of her Greek roommates and other Greeks she knows.

What is troubling is that she came on here for advice, she was given that advice, and it appears she completely disregarded it and yet still wanted to know why she didn't get her top choices back. So I don't know what to make of a person like that. Michigan doesn't exactly take dummies, but she sabotaged herself here.