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Risk Management - Hazing & etc. This forum covers Risk Management topics such as: Hazing, Alcohol Abuse/Awareness, Date Rape Awareness, Eating Disorder Prevention, Liability, etc.

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  #31  
Old 05-27-2011, 03:54 PM
DrPhil DrPhil is offline
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^ No shit, genius.
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  #32  
Old 05-27-2011, 05:39 PM
AlphaFrog AlphaFrog is offline
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I keep thinking by the title that the OP wants to find ways to haze her boyfriend. And then I confuse it with the lavaliere one and think that the OP thinks she's being hazed by not getting a lavaliere.

OP, if you haze your boyfriend, he will NOT give you a lavaliere, even if his old girlfriend did get one.
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  #33  
Old 05-27-2011, 07:40 PM
DrPhil DrPhil is offline
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Originally Posted by AlphaFrog View Post
OP, if you haze your boyfriend, he will NOT give you a lavaliere, even if his old girlfriend did get one.
"The definition of hazing can vary by organization."



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  #34  
Old 05-28-2011, 05:23 PM
GreekGirley GreekGirley is offline
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If you truly believe that this relationship is going somewhere (and you intend to stick this out), I would recommend that you seek counseling...or at least urge HIM to seek counseling. I would begin telling him that you care for him enough to recognize when something is 'not right' with him and that it pains you to see him obviously hurting over something you cannot help him with. Express to him that since you've known him for a long time, you see that something about him has recently changed and it scares you. Make sure to let him know that you'll be there with him/for him through this process.

Reading books can help you gain perspective, but it is NOT going to change your man. If you believe that he is headed down a road that is destructive - whether physical, psychological, emotional, or otherwise, I would urge you to DO something about it.

As an aside... You might want to do (or have him do) a little research into the hazing laws of your state (and the codes of conduct at your particular school). The things you're insinuating are - in many states, not all - criminal offenses (some felony), that carry punishments, including fines, arrest records, and potentially jail time. It is NOT something to be taken lightly.
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  #35  
Old 05-28-2011, 06:37 PM
Kevin Kevin is offline
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I don't understand how you even feel like you should even do anything about this. Either the guy is worth continuing the relationship with or you need to move on to greener pastures.
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  #36  
Old 05-29-2011, 02:09 AM
Senusret I Senusret I is offline
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Originally Posted by GreekGirley View Post
If you truly believe that this relationship is going somewhere (and you intend to stick this out), I would recommend that you seek counseling...or at least urge HIM to seek counseling. I would begin telling him that you care for him enough to recognize when something is 'not right' with him and that it pains you to see him obviously hurting over something you cannot help him with. Express to him that since you've known him for a long time, you see that something about him has recently changed and it scares you. Make sure to let him know that you'll be there with him/for him through this process.

Reading books can help you gain perspective, but it is NOT going to change your man. If you believe that he is headed down a road that is destructive - whether physical, psychological, emotional, or otherwise, I would urge you to DO something about it.

I feel as though this is bad advice.
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  #37  
Old 05-29-2011, 07:03 AM
BluPhire BluPhire is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GreekGirley View Post
If you truly believe that this relationship is going somewhere (and you intend to stick this out), I would recommend that you seek counseling...or at least urge HIM to seek counseling. I would begin telling him that you care for him enough to recognize when something is 'not right' with him and that it pains you to see him obviously hurting over something you cannot help him with. Express to him that since you've known him for a long time, you see that something about him has recently changed and it scares you. Make sure to let him know that you'll be there with him/for him through this process.

Reading books can help you gain perspective, but it is NOT going to change your man. If you believe that he is headed down a road that is destructive - whether physical, psychological, emotional, or otherwise, I would urge you to DO something about it.

As an aside... You might want to do (or have him do) a little research into the hazing laws of your state (and the codes of conduct at your particular school). The things you're insinuating are - in many states, not all - criminal offenses (some felony), that carry punishments, including fines, arrest records, and potentially jail time. It is NOT something to be taken lightly.
Ummm no.
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  #38  
Old 05-29-2011, 01:16 PM
MasTNX MasTNX is offline
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In re-reading the OP, I'm thinking that she wasn't asking what to do about the guy as much as she wants to understand the psychology of hazing from those who don't view it as horrible. I could be wrong, but if she sees something like paddling as something you could only do with anger and hate, then she doesn't understand why her boyfriend would participate, so she's asking for another perspective.
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  #39  
Old 05-29-2011, 01:22 PM
MysticCat MysticCat is offline
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Originally Posted by XnathusAZ View Post
Wait, you're the one who came here asking for advice and volunteering information. She has a right to say whatever the fuck she feels like saying to you, about you, and about the tardbox you're dating. Sometimes with advice comes criticism. If you don't like the shit that's being said, then why would you come on a goddamn message board asking people you don't know for advice? I could see if you didn't give a shit, but you obviously do, so if you can't take criticism, then you shouldn't have posted this stupid shit in the first place.
The irony of this coming from you would make Alanis Morrisette jealous.

But congrats on getting to 19 posts without getting banned. Again. What will it be when the inevitable happens, the 20th time you've been banned?
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  #40  
Old 05-29-2011, 01:28 PM
DrPhil DrPhil is offline
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I agree with Senusret and BluPhire.
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  #41  
Old 05-29-2011, 01:46 PM
MysticCat MysticCat is offline
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Originally Posted by DrPhil View Post
I agree with Senusret and BluPhire.
FWIW, me too.
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  #42  
Old 05-29-2011, 09:12 PM
GreekGirley GreekGirley is offline
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Not sure why leading someone you love towards getting much needed help would be such a terrible idea...but whatever... If she doesn't like the suggestion, she doesn't have to accept it. And, if he doesn't want the help, he doesn't have to take it.

Regardless, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with seeking professional help for issues (for emotional, physical, addictive behaviors, or otherwise) if you needed it. In fact, it's the smart thing to do! Some things are bigger than we are...and more than we can bear alone.
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  #43  
Old 05-29-2011, 10:12 PM
Drolefille Drolefille is offline
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Originally Posted by GreekGirley View Post
Not sure why leading someone you love towards getting much needed help would be such a terrible idea...but whatever... If she doesn't like the suggestion, she doesn't have to accept it. And, if he doesn't want the help, he doesn't have to take it.

Regardless, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with seeking professional help for issues (for emotional, physical, addictive behaviors, or otherwise) if you needed it. In fact, it's the smart thing to do! Some things are bigger than we are...and more than we can bear alone.
I'm a counselor and I agree with the people thinking that counseling is probably NOT the answer here with the information provided.

Yeah counseling is (almost) always a good thing, but you're kind of coming at this from a really extreme perspective.
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  #44  
Old 05-30-2011, 01:14 AM
PiKA2001 PiKA2001 is offline
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I think everyone is reading too much into the OP. Just saying.
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  #45  
Old 05-30-2011, 10:44 AM
33girl 33girl is offline
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Originally Posted by PiKA2001 View Post
I think everyone is reading too much into the OP. Just saying.
Agreed. I think she's more upset that she's not part of that part of his life rather than he's running after pledges with a meat grinder in one hand and a blowtorch in the other.
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