Sorors, SFs, One & All

[Steeltrap]

I came into AKA through a graduate chapter. When I was an undergraduate, I was busy with the school newspaper and seeking internships in my field. Because of that, I did not feel that I was able to devote the proper time and energy that the organization deserved.

In the interim years, I just made sure my stuff was together in case the time was going to come. Fortunately, it did and I'm pleased. Working for my sorority is pure joy.

[14dst01]

AMEN!!!! Both discrete's and Crimsontide's replies were very well said.

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
Phillipians 4:13

[dstbrat]

as i read through these posts, i reflected on my journey to delta. i became interested in delta my freshman year fall '92. one of the deltas on the yard took an interest in me and began encouraging me to get involved, inviting me out to events, etc. in the spring, my older sister went to rush while i cried because i didn't have the hours to apply. but i helped her, went to her probate, continued to stay involved and waited. the chapter was suspended during my sophomore year for 3 years. they came back the semester AFTER i graduated. my younger sister crossed that semester. i went to her probate jan 97. the local alumnae chapter had rush 2 weeks later. i was invited and made line. i crossed march 26, 1997.

the point is i watched both of my blood sisters become deltas while i waited for my opportunity. i wanted delta so badly i could taste it. but, it was not my time. there were girls who put off graduating to make the line that came back after the suspension. i finished school, got a job, and waited my turn. thank goodness i was ready! remember if you stay ready, you don't have to get ready when you get the call. if delta is in your heart, then your time will come. but the best advice i can give you is to put it in it's proper perspective, delta is extra-curricular. keep doing what you came to school to do. don't put off your goals to pursue it. that is contrary to the spirit of the sorority. it should enhance what you are already doing, not be the only thing you do.

for all of the perfect prospective members, in addition to meeting the minimum requirements you must receive the chapter vote!

be nice to the women you go to rush with, they might make it and you don't!
don't do any ugly talk about the chapter you are seeking membership in. they will find out.
don't tell fraternity men yur business, they tell us!
finally, humility is not kissing anyone's tail. it is understanding that membership is not owed to you.

sorors:
do not set your relatives up to fail. stop buying them those future delta shirts. teaching them to oo-oop and hold up the pyramid. that is where the attitude starts. they need to grow up and make their own decisions and seek delta for themselves not because you said they were going to be one when they grow up!

[aspiration]

This thread is truly inspirational & Thanks you for starting it!!
I have been pursuing Delta & studying my heart out for many years now. When I first had the opportunity to pursue membership I wasn't ready (in a number of ways). After that having to sit out of school for financial reasons didn't help either. Once I was able to return to school, I did so at a school in my home city, due to the fact that I don't attend one of the campus' that you have to attend for the local city-wide chapter I am not able to even attempt to pursue membership. Believe me I did try last year, and was given this information by one of the members. I have watched friends get accepted and even friends of my younger sister.
So, I said all that to say, being that I am a senior (an older one at that I have no choice but to wait and pursue membership at the Alumnae level. This is not deterring me though, I am still on track with this pursuit and my service, and I will not stop, if I'm not accepted at first attempt then I will try again, and again, and again............
I am a child of God and I know that if it is in his will then it will be done! To all my SF's out there on the pursuit into any organization, be humble, continue your service, Pray, and be patient, let's continue to strive for excellence together.

[lilZetagirl]

I attained membership through an undergraduate chapter. An experience that I will forever cherish.

As many have said, if attaining membership into a sorority is your hearts desire and you are unable to achieve that goal during your undergraduate years, it is important to stay positive and keep your eye on the prize. If it is meant to be, it shall be.

One thing I always emphasize, don't do service, maintain excellent academic status and forge friendships with people STRICTLY for the sake of joining a sorority. These are things you should be striving to do on a daily basis with or WITHOUT that organization. If you are ONLY doing those things to attain membership into said sorority, you may want to rethink that decision, you went to college FOR academics, so that should be your focus ANYWAY, service is something you should WANT to do, not something you are doing merely to meet membership requirements, if you are only doing it so Soror Such and Such will notice you and write that letter of Recommendation, you will have a RUDE awakening when that is EXPECTED of you once you attain membership.

All of that to say, make sure your head and heart are in the right place when you begin your journey. If they are, everything will fall into place!

Much success in everyones journey!

[EnlightenedEve]

I am new to GC. I only joined this week as a part of a networking project on my list of goals. I have recently been struggling with determining the purpose of my life and am seeking to meet people who have struggled to find what it is that they feel called to do, but now would not be able to live without doing. I think it is inspirational that all of you who posted are strong enough to admit that sometimes you have to work on improving yourself and wait to achieve your goals. Thank You for posting how you have all stayed determined and focus on your goals. You have all helped me immensely by reminding me that no matter what the goal is, sometimes I must step back and take a second look at what I am doing and how I intend to achieve it.

As a female mechanical engineering major struggling to stay focused, get a decent GPA in a major where 80 + percent of students do not gradate on time from this department in the university, and decide what to do after graduation, you have all become anonymous mentors. If you have any information that you think would help me in my continuing advancement, please feel free to contact me.

And remember that your struggle and your storm will help you grow stronger. But by sharing our stories with others, we can help the world grow stronger.

Thank You Again
Sisterfriend Surviving the Struggle

[ImmaculateDST]

Hello all,

First, I say hello and much love to my DiSTant sand DSTSolo01. I too crossed into DELTALAND on April 21, 2001.

I pledged an undergraduate chapter and I am still an undergrad. I love everything about my experience from the never-ending work to the added responsibility of being a DELTA. I encourage every person interested in membership in any BGLO to take it seriously. Just as you put your best forward in your school work or on the job, we expect the same (be prepared). To those who are not chosen for membership this time around, do not be discourged. Everything happens as it should. It may not go your way, but God is always right. Find out what your short comings were and correct them. Try again and next time shine. I wish everyone the best. Keep GOD first and everything will be alright.

[southernbelle]

Ladies, ladies, ladies...y'all just don't KNOW! I have attened RUSH twice and been rejected twice. It hurts, especially when you know it was nothing you did. A friend of mine from high school went as well, needless to say this was her first time attending any event of this organizationad we've been here for 3 yrs. I was a faithful attendee. She made it, I didn't. Our friendship is in a very bad situation right now. I don't know what to do. It's not jealousy, but other things. I could use advice, help. I'm not going to give up. This week is this org's week here and I have attended every function. But it did hurt to see those girls come out at their show knowing I should have been there too.

[Humble]

Originally posted by southernbelle
Ladies, ladies, ladies...y'all just don't KNOW! I have attened RUSH twice and been rejected twice. It hurts, especially when you know it was nothing you did. A friend of mine from high school went as well, needless to say this was her first time attending any event of this organizationad we've been here for 3 yrs. I was a faithful attendee. She made it, I didn't. Our friendship is in a very bad situation right now. I don't know what to do. It's not jealousy, but other things. I could use advice, help. I'm not going to give up. This week is this org's week here and I have attended every function. But it did hurt to see those girls come out at their show knowing I should have been there too.

At the present moment you both are filled with a lot of emotions. If you all were friends before this you will be friends after this. Just give it some time. Also, don't get discouraged. Please know that you cannot compare yourself to anyone who made it. Focus on you, because you are a unique individual who is loved by God. The only thing you will accomplish by comparing yourself to anyone who made it, is drive yourself insane. I know it hurts, but just try to keep a positive attitude and know that if it's meant to be it will be.

[ladygreek]

Originally posted by southernbelle
Ladies, ladies, ladies...y'all just don't KNOW! I have attened RUSH twice and been rejected twice. It hurts, especially when you know it was nothing you did. A friend of mine from high school went as well, needless to say this was her first time attending any event of this organizationad we've been here for 3 yrs. I was a faithful attendee. She made it, I didn't. Our friendship is in a very bad situation right now. I don't know what to do. It's not jealousy, but other things. I could use advice, help. I'm not going to give up. This week is this org's week here and I have attended every function. But it did hurt to see those girls come out at their show knowing I should have been there too.

How do you know it was nothing you did (or maybe didn't do)? No offense meant but since you seem so sure, I am just curious.

[Nubian]

"For my SFs who are waiting/hoping to become a member what are you doing to keep your interests and to increase your attractiveness?"

I'm just so happy that finals are over and I actually have some free time to interact with you guys!

With Spring semester approaching, I was really terrified of the possibility of another intake. But something that was said (written) earlier really struck a chord with me. That is, to remain humble in my pursuit. I have worked extra hard to be the best PERSON I can be, especially this year. I have drastically improved my G.P.A., I have become even more active on campus and in the community, and my relationship with Christ gets better everyday.. I haven't done these things just because I want to be greek, but because I know that this is whats right for me. I know now that nothing, including Delta is owed to me. I am happy in the knowledge that whether I make it or not (hopefully I'll make it ) I'm still the best person I can be.

Tamika

[discrete1]

Originally posted by discrete1
I will like to say "thank you" to all the members of the NPHC, for encouraging me. Here is my story:

I was interested in a BGLO as an undergraduate student as of my junior year. I wasn't extended an invitation for a reason I wish not to discuss. I was very active on my campus, involved in various activities. I did untotaled number of hours volunteering off campus etc. In not so many words I wasn't accepted.

I graduated a year later. I moved back home and started seeking a graduate chapter in my area. I went through extreme measures to find the name and address of the advisor. When I found the information, I instantly mailed the advisor my interest letter. I never received a response. Each year I sent my letter to the advisor of the the GLO of my interest. (two years had passed). March of this year, I received a response. A great response, and I choose to leave it at that.

My point is, timing is everything. Maybe I wasn't ready during my college years. Since that time I have been more involved in my community, church and have sought so much information of the GLO of my interest. I've really been doing my homework. I can honestly say that now is the right time. I didn't know as much as I know now about the GLO of my interest as I do now, and I am sure there is an abundance of information to learn once i become a member I wish I could have had the undergrad experience but I didn't and I have to move on.

Thank you all again for encouraging me.

I remember when I replied to this thread. Now, I am proud to say that I am officially a member of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Incorporated. The hard work has definitely paid off. As I said before, "Timing is Everything". In the meantime be patient, What God has for you will be for you. Thank you Sisterfriends for posting this thread, it really encouraged me.

[ladygreek]

Congratulations Discrete1! I am sure you will be an outstanding member of Z Phi B.

[discrete1]

Originally posted by ladygreek
Congratulations Discrete1! I am sure you will be an outstanding member of Z Phi B.

Thank You Ladygreek for your Congrats!!!

[Three_Love]

Regarding rejection letters...all of that "stay strong", "don't be discouraged" stuff SOUNDS real good...

BUT IF YOU HAVE NEVER RECEIVED A REJECTION LETTER, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT IS LIKE OR HOW YOU WILL REACT.

It is discouraging. You don't feel strong and focused - you feel WEAK and DISAPPOINTED and BITTER. EXTREMELY BITTER. Especially when you see people who made line and you KNOW that your credentials are better than theirs. To tell someone who has been rejected that they cannot "compare themselves to someone who made it" is crazy - that's ALL you do when you see that line walk by... You sit and point out women who made line and think, "She failed math last semester and barely has a 2.5 - I thought they said only 2.75 and above would make it?...Lawd, she has slept with half the football team - how in the world did she make it?...I been rushing for 2 years and I've never even SEEN that chick before - how did SHE make it?" And so on. People coming up to you and saying "congratulations, I heard they picked up the Delta line" and your reply is, YEAH, BUT I'M NOT ON IT. Until you've actually been there - it's impossible to fathom.

"Don't take it personally"? How else are you supposed to take it? It IS personal. And I'm sorry Soror DST_philosop4, but prospectives get rejected "with malicious intent" every Spring and Fall - that's just the ugly truth about fraternities and sororities. Malicious is "deliberately harmful; spiteful" - and sometimes, it's like that. I'm just keepin it real here.

So I'm not going to give that "keep ya head up" pep talk, because I've been there, and that's the LAST thing you want to hear when you get a reject letter, believe me.

I joined Delta through an Alumnae chapter 8 years after being rejected as an undergrad. As an undergrad, I attended several rushes, and if I had a dime for every Delta function I supported, I would use it to pay my dues for next year. What did I do after I got rejected? Well, at the time, I was being initiated into an honors fraternity, so that took most of my attention (and NO, that's not why I got rejected, because two of my honors fraternity linesisters made the Delta line that semester). My grades were already excellent, I was already doing public service, so I just continued doing the same things I was already doing before I got rejected.

I just always knew I'd become a Delta, and if that chapter didn't want me, then it was their loss - there are Delta chapters all over the place, and I knew I'd find one that would be HAPPY to have me. As others, including my sister, became Deltas, I was very happy for them - I knew that one day I would join them, and I did.

To "southernbelle" - about your friend making it and you not making it - you will learn if this women is TRULY your friend or not. I had many so-called friends who made it when I didn't, and once I was rejected, they tripped out...suddenly they were too good for me, better than me...or so they thought. I learned who my REAL friends were when I got rejected, and made some new ones too.

The advice I'd give to someone who gets a reject letter is...

GET MAD!! KICK SOMETHING!! SCREAM AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS!!

Then shake it off and get on with your life. And wait - your time will come when it's supposed to come, and not before. Oh, and don't forget to SAVE THAT LETTER FOR YOUR SCRAPBOOK WHEN YOU DO FINALLY MAKE IT. My reject letter is right in front, followed by my invitation.

I won't lie and say you aren't going to be bitter, because you ARE GOING TO BE BITTER. When it's meant to be, if it's meant to be, then you'll achieve it. My path to Delta was much longer than I thought it would be, but it was DEFINITELY the right path FOR ME.