Rushing again - Page 3

epchick · #1 07-12-2010, 07:52 PM

Why do some GCers only post on GC to tell others how "mean" they are.

Drolefille · #2 07-12-2010, 05:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carnation

We need to give the PNMs the benefit of the doubt in their choices and not second guess why they made them. When they say they had their reasons for cutting ABC, why should we run them down? I cut one good sorority because they were heavily, heavily into athletics and I figured they'd hate me when I didn't want to sign up for a sport. I cut one of those considered "top tier" because they were so condescending and rude to me and all those around me. I would've been ticked if someone on an anonymous board had said, "Yeah, we know you cut them because they were small, snob." I discussed this recently with a woman who was a PH officer when I helped advise at one SEC school--she said that she cut ABC when she rushed because they were so into winning the Greek musical shows and she figured they'd hate her when she began to sing. That chapter is fantastic.

Truth is, we have no idea why they cut who they cut. Actually, many of us hardly remember the reasons our teenage selves cut groups.

Yeah, in an ideal world, all the girls who were cut would band together and strengthen a smaller group. Why won't they? Because especially at a huge school , they will know at most a couple other girls who dropped out and especially in the South, no one (including PanHellenic) is going to hang out a banner that says "Meeting at 6 tonight for girls who dropped out of rush". Other teenagers would be too embarrassed to show up. Also, they would have to arrange something with a group that wanted to take them all on. How would they? And what would happen if the group didn't care for some of the girls?

Have you ever seen this in a small town? There's an older unmarried woman and some of the locals keep saying, "She didn't have to be single, Billy Bob and Bobby Bill wanted to marry her." She has to hear this crap the rest of her life even though both men might have been worthless crackers...why should she have to listen to people second-guessing what she felt to be the right decision for her? Why should we be playing Lofty Greeks With Insight who say, "You had the choice to be Greek, you cut the only groups who wanted you." That's horribly rude. You don't know why they cut them, you don't know why they were cut. Some people on here have been rude enough to say "your dream sororities didn't want you." How do you know? Actually at many big schools, the sororities would love to have dozens of the girls they cut but they had to cut huge numbers. Have you ever been in a room where the sorority is required to cut hundreds of girls in one night?

What gives anyone the right to decide why a teenager cuts a group? If you weren't there, you don't know.

She cut the only groups that still wanted her on pref night. We don't know why she was cut from the other groups, and no one has claimed to. But as has been pointed out, those groups that cut her wanted other girls more for some reason. She stated her reasons for cutting the groups and we pointed out that they were, in fact, coming across as very shallow reasons. She didn't disagree.

There's not harassing a PNM and there's being frank with her. If she goes into recruitment again, not considering these 2 chapters, she's cut her odds immediately. If the other chapters have to cut heavily as a rule, and these 2 don't, then she's cut her odds even MORE. Point this out doesn't mean we're ruining her life, her happiness or her recruitment.

This PNM wasn't stomped on she was given the reality check she asked for.

carnation · #3 07-12-2010, 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drolefille

She cut the only groups that still wanted her on pref night. We don't know why she was cut from the other groups, and no one has claimed to. But as has been pointed out, those groups that cut her wanted other girls more for some reason. She stated her reasons for cutting the groups and we pointed out that they were, in fact, coming across as very shallow reasons. She didn't disagree.

There's not harassing a PNM and there's being frank with her. If she goes into recruitment again, not considering these 2 chapters, she's cut her odds immediately. If the other chapters have to cut heavily as a rule, and these 2 don't, then she's cut her odds even MORE. Point this out doesn't mean we're ruining her life, her happiness or her recruitment.

This PNM wasn't stomped on she was given the reality check she asked for.

This one, no. Others, yes to the point that I am embarrassed for the NPC. A lot. Also, we have no idea if these were good, strong, smaller groups that truly wanted her or if they were the kind that I believe on GC has been described as the kind of chapter who would take anyone with ovaries. Big difference.

Drolefille · #4 07-12-2010, 06:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carnation

This one, no. Others, yes to the point that I am embarrassed for the NPC. A lot. Also, we have no idea if these were good, strong, smaller groups that truly wanted her or if they were the kind that I believe on GC has been described as the kind of chapter who would take anyone with ovaries. Big difference.

That's fine, i just think this was the wrong thread to make that stand in, particularly since you have actually made a thread on this topic.

And this OP was of the opinion (or expressed her opinion in such a way) that these groups were the latter. No matter what the truth is, such an opinion will limit her options. And particularly as a non-member she has no idea whether those groups just struggle for numbers and cut less, or whether they do take any and all comers.

If she (or any PNM) isn't happy with her options, that's ok. But I see little reason to encourage her to eliminate options in advance no matter what the reason. She wouldn't be the first PNM to have pre-conceived notions utterly shattered and find a home with a chapter she would never have thought would fit her.

Also, there has to be a balance between treating 18 year olds like kids and like adults. They're not always great at making decisions and can be more emotional, but they also can handle honesty and think critically.

AXOrushadvisor · #5 07-12-2010, 05:04 PM

IMHO, recruitment is really a fickle business. The elephant in the room is that on most college campuses all sororities are not created equal. They are all different and all have different levels of success on a campus and that is ok because there are all different types of women who go through recruitment. There are wonderful girls on every campus that get dropped every fall from Chapters and girls Chapters don't think are qualified and released from every Chapter. I would tell my own daughter that if she got to the end of recruitment and went entirely through the whole process and still didn't feel any connection with what she had left to NOT sign a bid card. Most of us this board are old and wise and I think we sometimes forget what it is like to be an 18 year old "girl" who may not have a Mom or a Sister who is Greek to help guide them through the process.

angelove · #6 07-12-2010, 05:20 PM

Here's another example of "not fitting in" with a certain chapter that's not necessarily "tier" based - During rush, this PNM was at a "top tier" sorority during the second round of parties. This was a good sorority with strong sisterhood, good fraternity socials, campus involvement, cheerleaders, etc. Her rusher showed her the trophy that the sorority had won for having the highest overall GPA in Panhellenic for that year. PNM actually said out loud, "Well, I know I can't help you with that!" and cut the sorority for the next round. It wasn't that she thought it was a nerdy sorority; she just wasn't one of the smartest girls and was scared she would bring them down.

Of course, PNM pledged my chapter and was held over for initiation due to grades. Great sister, though.

agzg · #7 07-12-2010, 08:09 PM

Sometimes I think PNMs should take a cue from the chapters and keep their "Chapter Selection" practices as private as our Member Selection Practices.

KSUViolet06 · #8 07-13-2010, 07:47 PM

I clearly need to start staying home, because this is what I miss when I leave. Wow.

Gusteau · #9 07-13-2010, 07:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I clearly need to start staying home, because this is what I miss when I leave. Wow.

LOL - shame on us for not bumping the "Things KSUViolet Misses When She's Having a Real Life" thread.

KSUViolet06 · #10 07-13-2010, 07:52 PM

A "stuff Violet Missed while at Convention" thread would be really helpful. I don't even know who all the trolls are now

Gusteau · #11 07-13-2010, 07:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I don't even know who all the trolls are now

Lucky for you... http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...d.php?t=114674

als463 · #12 07-26-2010, 05:10 PM

I'm pretty shocked this whole thread went like this. I do have to say that the OP came off as rude and with a "better than you" attitude. I realize many of these women are 18-19 years-old but, when do we start letting them take responsibility for their own actions? By saying, "Oh, well no young woman who is 18-19-20 years-old, knows the type of commitment she is making or that a sorority is forever." If you have been accepted to a college/ university and have basic literacy skills, there is no excuse for choosing to ignore the national websites of the sororities on your campus.

Every NPC has something to offer. I've said it before. I'll say it again. There really is no excuse for ignorance.