Please don't stalk the PNMs

[AOII_LB93]

Originally Posted by shadokat

I hadn't intended to say anything else on this thread, because I could personally give a rat's behind if UGA or KSU believe a word I say. It's laughable to me that people come crawling out of the woodwork to bash on someone who is voicing their viewpoint, and THEN tell them they aren't credible because they don't have 5,000 posts in 2 years.

My point was that within the last several years, what used to be a forum that told recruitment stories at all sorts of universities, large and small, has become a forum where PNMs hide under the guise of the flavors of Bath and Body Works scents and hope nobody figures out their university or the sororities, because SOMEONE ultimately may come out and spill the beans about who/where they are, and then they could be royally screwed in their recruitment pursuits.

I have had several PNMs PM over the past couple of years asking me recruitment related questions, and I have advised many of them not to post their stories until after they were finished because some folks on here tend to be a bit overzealous on recruitment threads.

Call me incredible, call me a bitch b/c I say I think people can and will stalk someone based on a couple of details, but you can't deny the fact that girls aren't posting their stories anymore in the record numbers that they used to, and the reason isn't because there aren't as many PNMs here. So if those of you who have large post counts discount my theory, feel free to add your theory, and have a discussion about why this is happening instead of a shit throwing contest picking at someone's character.

Thank you.

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by shadokat

I hadn't intended to say anything else on this thread, because I could personally give a rat's behind if UGA or KSU believe a word I say. It's laughable to me that people come crawling out of the woodwork to bash on someone who is voicing their viewpoint, and THEN tell them they aren't credible because they don't have 5,000 posts in 2 years.

My point was that within the last several years, what used to be a forum that told recruitment stories at all sorts of universities, large and small, has become a forum where PNMs hide under the guise of the flavors of Bath and Body Works scents and hope nobody figures out their university or the sororities, because SOMEONE ultimately may come out and spill the beans about who/where they are, and then they could be royally screwed in their recruitment pursuits.

I have had several PNMs PM over the past couple of years asking me recruitment related questions, and I have advised many of them not to post their stories until after they were finished because some folks on here tend to be a bit overzealous on recruitment threads.

Call me incredible, call me a bitch b/c I say I think people can and will stalk someone based on a couple of details, but you can't deny the fact that girls aren't posting their stories anymore in the record numbers that they used to, and the reason isn't because there aren't as many PNMs here. So if those of you who have large post counts discount my theory, feel free to add your theory, and have a discussion about why this is happening instead of a shit throwing contest picking at someone's character.

I may have missed something, but I don't think I've been picking at anyone's character, and I'm not sure why I'm getting caught up in this sweeping generalization.

I have no well thought out theory why fewer PNMs are posting.

I tend to think it's because the girls going through recruitment are much savvier about the real life implications of what you say on the internet generally. And then of course, there are very frequently a chorus of warnings that occur at the start of every thread about what could happen if you say too much.

I'd rather see the PNMs err on the side of caution too, so I'm not in any way in disagreement with that.

But none of this changes the fact that specific evidence of bad stuff that has happened is more convincing generally than just making general claims, IMO. And I'd say that's true no matter how many post you've made, but I'm more accepting of some claims by people whose posts I'm familiar with, as faulty as that might be.

[DrPhil]

I'm just glad you all are discussing this without sock puppets.

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

I'm just glad you all are discussing this without sock puppets.

Although the irony of talking about credibility as a sock puppet is pretty amusing

This is one of those threads where I can't quite figure out why it went in the direction it did.

If what I said was said to me the same way I said it, I don't think I'd be insulted or angry.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by UGAalum94

Although the irony of talking about credibility as a sock puppet is pretty amusing

This is one of those threads where I can't quite figure out why it went in the direction it did.

If what I said was said to me the same way I said it, I don't think I'd be insulted or angry.

That would be funny.

As an outsider swerving into your lane for the 4th time, I don't know, either.

It could go back to how people interpret things differently.

[Zillini]

I've only ever investigated a PNM who posted here once. She had named the school (where I advise), her hometown, and listed a slew of other info. She proceeded to be rude, obnoxious, combative, and insulting to GC members who offered her advice. A classic case of asking for help and then getting nasty because it wasn't what she wanted to hear.

Because she had provided so much info it wasn't difficult for me to figure out who she was. I never had to say a word about her antics here because I discovered that my members didn't like her either and she was released.

Would I have said something if they had liked her? I honestly don't know and am glad I didn't have to find out.

[ellebud]

I absolutely do not understand someone calling a Panhellenic office to see if someone pledged "their" house (or even a house) based on postings on GreekChat. I do understand people saying cautionary things to pnms. I remember reading the beginnings of a thread (about UT) where the girl's ideas about life and recruitment were close to social suicide, not only for recruitment, but for life in general. No one can "fix" that except the young lady and the time it takes to grow up.

[carnation]

...here's a thread for PNMs to think about...

[AOII Angel]

Thanks, Carnation. I have a few times PMd a PNM to tell her that she has given way too much information and should be more discrete. Usually this is when they've given their name, school or region/state and other identifying specifics that could make them easily identifiable. I just let them know that they may want to edit the information or be really careful what they say here so they don't ruin their recruitment. An ounce of prevention...

[carnation]

Thanks, AOIIAngel, for doing that for them! PNMs, if your name, hometown, hair color, birthday, whatever, are in your user name pleeeease take them out.

[KSUViolet06]

Thousands of people post here.

But THOUSANDS more people just lurk and DON'T post. Some of those lurkers could be active sorority members from your school.

Many times, PNMs are only concerned with people who POST here finding out where they go to school.

I think their biggest concern should be the lurkers who actually GO to their schools and are active sisters.

Active sisters are quite invested in their GLOs and when recruitment times rolls around, they are really working hard to put parties together and such. So it's easy for one of them to become highly offended by a comment in a rush thread, and take actions that will negatively affect a PNM's recruitment.

Example: Patty PNM goes to Big Southern University. She mentions in her rush thread that she is a junior transfer from Ohio. In her recruitment thread, she writes:

Today I went to Watermelon. OMG. Their house has these terrible green shutters and pink paint. Ew. All these girls were totally fat, like above a size 8. Yuck, and they had these hideous Pepto-pink polos on. I definitely don't see myself here.

Ok. Pretty rude. But I don't go there so I have no clue who she's talking about and couldn't care less.

However, Amy Alpha is lurking after a recruitment party, and just happens to read the thread. She recognizes immediately that this is HER chapter and is super offended. She spreads the word to the rest of her sisters and they see it too. She determines that there is only one junior transfer from Ohio in recruitment, so she knows exactly who Patty is.

The next day, Patty sees that Alpha is not on her invite list.

Doesn't end there, Amy Alpha is sooo offended, that she calls up her friends in Theta, Beta and Zeta--Patty's top 3 faves. They also see said thread and think Patty is a huge brat and decide they don't want her either. So they show all of their sisters.

Next day, Patty is also cut from Theta, Beta, and Zeta.

Yes, it happens.

So it's important to note that ANYONE can read what's posted here. You do not have to sign up and be an active poster to see what people are saying.

[shadokat]

Thanks AOIIAngel...couldn't agree more

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Jen

Well, no one uses the PM feature here to contact PNMs at all. So no one could possibly find out that info from some overly trusting PNM who doesn't realize they're dealing with a crazy person who will then Google them within an inch of their life when they don't get a bid and don't return to GC to tell their story, thus infuriating said crazy person who feels they have the RIGHT to know because overly trusting PNM obviously owes it to them since they had a handful of interactions via PM.

Or something like that ...

LOL at "Googled within an inch of their life."

[DrPhil]

Another lane swerve here...

I don't think anyone is saying that you are all a bunch of stalkers. It seems like they are discussing the things that may've happened and can possibly happen. I don't understand taking these general statements personally or being offended.

I certainly don't know what other posters are doing with their PMs, facebook, and so forth. Just because you haven't done that, it doesn't mean that there aren't a bunch of posters who may do that.

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by Jen

Well, no one uses the PM feature here to contact PNMs at all. So no one could possibly find out that info from some overly trusting PNM who doesn't realize they're dealing with a crazy person who will then Google them within an inch of their life when they don't get a bid and don't return to GC to tell their story, thus infuriating said crazy person who feels they have the RIGHT to know because overly trusting PNM obviously owes it to them since they had a handful of interactions via PM.

Or something like that ...

Do you know that this has actually happened or just that it has the potential to happen?