Hahaha don't worry, Skunk-Hair will make a comeback - I'm going to tell you where all of those named PNMs end up, including her! I just didn't really see her around for most of the week, and I'd actually assumed she'd dropped/been dropped.
I was feeling pretty good when I arrived at my tent on Pref Day. I was confident that I would be visiting my top three choices, and I had good reason to be. I felt like I'd made real connections at all three, but that morning, I knew in my heart that I wanted to run home to
Blitzen. I was beyond excited as I took my schedule from Boston, but as soon as I opened it, my heart sank:
Party 1 -
Prancer
Party 2 -
Dasher
Party 3 -
Vixen
There were no words. For the second time that week, I felt completely devastated. How was this possible?? First
Jack Frost, now my perfect
Blitzen too??? I had half a mind to march right up to that house, demand to see Jessica, and find out why on EARTH I had been cut! I sank into my seat, feeling utterly lost and so SO hurt. Again, this was the perfect time to talk to Boston and tell her what was going on, but I was so....
ashamed. I didn't want anyone to know that I'd gotten my hopes up (again) and had them completely crushed (again). So instead, I sat there like a miserable lump until Jamie came and sat down beside me. She could tell I was not thrilled about my final three, but I didn't want to tell her the full story. I told her who I had left - she was only preffing
Dancer. I immediately felt even worse. Here I was moping about my full schedule, when she had only one house (the most undesirable, too) left. Despite this, I couldn't help how I felt. I trudged over to
Prancer for the first pref party.
There were no peppy door chants today - these were supposed to be solemn ceremonies that gave us insight into the chapter's ritual. I had been SO excited for today and now, I just wanted to go home, crawl into bed, and stay there until classes started. I hardly even said hello to the girl who picked me up ("Tara"). She led me inside and I sat down on a white folding chair while she knealt down in front of me. All of the girls were wearing elegant, black cocktail dresses........... exactly what I was wearing. WHY oh, WHY hadn't anyone told me to avoid the little black dress on Prefs??? I was so embarassed, looking around, until Tara suddenly said, "I love that you wore that today, you look like my sister already." I was a little surprised that she was being so forward, but it was kind of flattering at the same time. We started talking, but my heart was still aching over the cut from
Blitzen, and she could tell something was up. Again, she cut to the chase: "You weren't really happy with your schedule today, were you?" Wow, this girl was
bold. I chose my words carefully, and essentially told her that I wasn't, but I meant no disrespect to
Prancer. "I was just so certain that I had found my home, you know?" What was I doing? Why was I telling her this? "I just don't know if this is for me anymore." Oh. My. Gosh. It was like word vomit, all of the things that had been running through my mind all week just started spilling out, one after the other. When I had finished, I took a deep breath and probably turned five shades of scarlet. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to lay all that on you," I told her. And then she
laughed at me, and said, "Girl, I was promised a bid to another house and then didn't get it. When my card said
Prancer, I threw a temper tantrum and walked out. Didn't even go to Bid Day!" What? "You didn't?" She nodded, and told me that she later regretted it, went to the first pledge meeting, and fell completely in love with her new sisters. Wow! There had to be
something special about
Prancer to make Tara do a complete 180 like that. I wanted to ask her more, but it was time for the ceremony to begin.
We formed two giant circles around the room, the PNMs on the inside, and their rusher on the outside. I wish I could say more about it, but I don't want to give away too much. I realized halfway through that I was crying.
What?? Tara gave my shoulder a reassuring squeeze and I could tell that she was also crying. All I can say was that it was an absolutely beautiful ceremony. When it was time to leave, my mind was racing. Before I walked out the door, Tara (still crying!) gave me a huge hug and wished me lots of luck. She whispered in my ear, "Whatever chapter you run home to tomorrow will be
so lucky to have you."
Wow. Just... wow! Stepping back out into the sunlight, I felt like I had just woken up from some wonderful dream. I hadn't met Tara at all this entire week and yet she'd left a bigger impression on me than anyone - Christina from
Jack Frost? Jessica from
Blitzen? I suddenly felt like neither of them had been real with me. Tara had been the first to cut through the B.S. and actually talk to me like a normal person, not someone she wanted to "recruit." Feeling strangely content and confident all of a sudden, I made my way across the street to
Dasher.
After experiencing such a beautiful, emotional Pref party, I was very excited to see what
Dasher had in store for us. Once again, I was disappointed. For the umpteenth time, I was not picked up by Sasha (was she avoiding me??), but instead by a girl who had literally NO personality. She was completely monotone and distant the entire time we were talking. She told me, with absolutely no emotion in her voice, how much she
loved Dasher and couldn't imagine being anywhere else. She told me she hoped I loved
Dasher too. I felt SOOO awkward. It sounded like she didn't even believe the words coming out of her mouth. Yikes. The ceremony couldn't begin soon enough! I was hoping this would be as beautiful as the last one, and it really could have been, had the sisters been able to keep a straight face. It was very undignified to look around and see so many
Dashers stifling laughter during their
Pref ceremony! I felt bad for the president, who did most of the speaking, and who kept giving her sisters looks that could've killed. I couldn't wait to get out of there. As I joined the throng of PNMs being led out the door, all of a sudden, as if it were an afterthought, Sasha came bounding over to me and gave me a spine-cracking hug. Um, no. Too late, honey. I was glad to get out of there, and definitely disappointed.
My last party of the day was
Vixen, and I was honestly happy to be going back. I remembered, reassuringly, that I had liked this house from Day One - even if they hadn't been my top choice. I was expecting to be picked up by Ava again, but instead I was met by a girl I'd never met before, "Lexi." We sat down at a small table together and I noticed that she couldn't stop smiling at me. I found this a little strange, until she spoke up. "You have no idea how many girls wanted to Pref you, Scrantonicity!" This was a little embarassing, and I felt myself shrinking into my seat, just a bit. "I know, you're probably thinking, 'Then why did this weird, random girl get me?' The girl who was supposed to Pref you is actually really sick... I just can't stop smiling because you've got like a whole fan club here!" She started laughing, and I realized that I was too. A fan club?? Wow, that really did sound kind of ridiculous, but I still couldn't help but feel very special. After that little ice-breaker, Lexi and I got to talking. She was from New York City and seemed very cool; we both loved a lot of the same bands too. She showed me her personal scrapbook, full of pictures of her and her sisters. They looked like they had a lot of fun together.
I was really enjoying talking to her, but when the time came for the ceremony, I was very excited. Again, I can't go into too much detail about what they did, but it was very elegant. All of the
Vixens were in floor-length white dresses and when they all stood up together, they looked incredible! Near the end of the ceremony, a few sisters came forward and shared a little of their personal experience with
Vixen. Some of the stories were funny or sweet, but one in particular, the very last one, was sad and incredibly moving. There wasn't a dry eye in the house at this point, and I too was in tears. Then it was time to leave. Lexi and I said goodbye, and I left the house with the other PNMs.
Back inside my tent, the time had come to rank my last three houses. Filling in my #3 was no trouble at all, but now I was completely torn between
Vixen and
Prancer. How on earth did this even happen, I thought. How had I ended up loving two houses that were always just sort of in the middle for me this week? I looked around. A lot of my fellow PNMs seemed to have no trouble ranking tonight. Jamie was leaving already - she said goodbye to me and wished me good luck. I sat there for a while, going over everything in my head, as the number of girls in the tent slowly trickled down. Then Boston came over and sat with me. This was the first time she and I had really talked all week, and I realized (a little too late) what a vital resource she could've been. As I told her about the pref parties though, it suddenly hit me. I knew
exactly where I wanted to be. When I told Boston who I would rank #1, she smiled and, it may have been a trick of the light, but I could've sworn I saw her eyes well up just a tiny bit. Feeling elated, I filled out my paper and handed it over. It read:
To be continued.
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