Let's Be Honest Here.....

[ajmom3]

I think the Aephi at my daughter's school is considered "less desirable" simply because they are relatively new (3 years old at the school) and they don't have a house (at a school where 6 of the 10 sororities have gorgeous houses). They were (as I read here on GC), the only sorority this year to not make quota but they did take in 22 new beautiful girls. They are a traditionally Jewish sorority, which would definitely put off at least 75% of the girls rushing.

[KSUViolet06]

Being an alumna has allowed me to see something that I don't think PNMs can understand as young freshmen:

Sorority tiers exist only within the collegiate setting.

In my experience, no one cares what "tier" your sorority is/was after college.

I mean, maybe it's just my friends and I, but we don't sit up and re-live our collegiate "glory days" and have discussions about who was "the best." We have lives and would rather talk about the stuff that's going on in our lives right now, not from college 3 years ago. We may talk about some of the crazy times we had with our sisters, but that's it.

If you were to hang out with a group of mid-20's professionals (at least in the areas I'm familiar with) and start going on and on about how "top tier" your sorority was in college, they'd look at you like you had three heads (and were someone who is still living in college-land).

So, in summary, once you graduate, no one cares.

[texas*princess]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Sorority tiers exist only within the collegiate setting.

In my experience, no one cares what "tier" your sorority is/was after college.

KSU, you are one of my favorite posters, but I think I will have to respectively disagree with you here.

I do agree that in MOST places, the statements I quoted above are true... but there ARE some people and/or areas where people just plain don't grow up.

Even if they are 30 years out of college, tiers still matter in their mind either on a school basis or "overall" (e.g. "you don't want to be in THAT sorority! They aren't that big nationally, they only have X chapters and are mainly focused in (---certain geographical area here----)

I've seen plenty of those people here on GC and it amazes me, especially given that those people are alums from a super long time ago.

So in summary, I do agree with you that in a lot of places what you said is true. When we are late-20's or whatever no one gives a flying squirrel who was part of what and what "tier" they were in back in college, but if you are in one of those hard-core sorority regions it DOES matter b/c in their little bubble of the universe status is the only thing they care about.

So if ppl in :those: regions want to cut groups b/c they aren't "top tier" I can't say I have any sympathy for them not being matched.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by texas*princess

KSU, you are one of my favorite posters, but I think I will have to respectively disagree with you here.

I do agree that in MOST places, the statements I quoted above are true... but there ARE some people and/or areas where people just plain don't grow up.


I've seen plenty of those people here on GC and it amazes me, especially given that those people are alums from a super long time ago.

No I totally agree. In the majority of places in this world, we grow up, and focus on other things. We just have other things to be concerned about. But there ARE isolated areas of the country in which the "tier" of your sorority will always matter. I think it's a regional thing. My experiences in life have to do with the west coast and the northeastern areas of the country, where most people are more concerned with their professional lives after school than the "tier" of their sorority.

[ellebud]

Please let me reiterate and apologize if what I wrote is unclear or misleading: In no way did I mean to imply that a house is bottom tier simply because of a possible religious affiliation. I was referencing houses in general: A through Z. My thesis was simply that many pnms drop out of rush simply because sorority A dropped them and then the pnm not giving the rest of the houses a chance because of a perceived secondary or worse status of other houses. I really wish that pnms could read and understand that they make their house/college years/sorority experience the best or worst that it could be. PeaceLoveClass's story tells it best. I hope that pnms find it, read it and then take it to heart.

[tld221]

UGH i HATE this...

i had a really good post and it got deleted twice (something about hitting the shift button?)

my point was that in joining a sorority (or any association) it's normal to want to be a part of the best/most popular. in an 18 year old's mind, those go hand in hand. but with age and maturity, we know that these two things are not necessarily related, or even necessary to make our greek experience the best.

is my sorority the best? surely! is it the most popular? probably not, nationally. on some campuses, perhaps.

also, a Jewish house (going with the example) may not fit the image of what a PNM expected growing up when considering greek life. i know that a historically African-America sorority wasn't on my radar initially, first because i didnt know they existed, but i also didn't (initially) have that image in my head when seeking greek life.

so for other PNMs showing up to campus and seeing orgs that dont fit what they expected (ie a Jewish house, or a houseless org, or a multicultural org, or perhaps co-ed or service org?*), yes, that can register as "bottom-tier" simply because its not on their radar.



*mind you i am totally lane-swerving and know nothing about recruitment stats on any of these orgs, but from what i read on GC, the numbers dont nearly touch an NPC social sorority with regular-type rush. plus i could be wrong on a lot of this, but im putting two and two together.

[EE-BO]

KSUViolet06 and texas*princess,

Some of the wisest words I have ever read on this forum. I think it would be great if they could be stickied for all to read in future- along with the rest of this thread.

Tiers in fraternities and sororities at any campus are not so much about the organizations themselves, but rather about the composition of the members in those specific chapters.

In my experience, people who pledge "top tier" chapters knew it was going to happen. They were prepared for it well in advance- as were their mothers, and they did not need to come to a site like ours to ask advice on what to do. It is not universal. Top candidates sometimes slip through the cracks- but for the most part those who pledge "top tier" come into that realm for reasons that cannot be made up for at the last minute with grades, activities or other window dressing.

Members of top tier sororities are not superficial or snobbish by default in this situation- they are merely enjoying the Greek experience within their own social realm.

And members of second or below tier sororities are not inferior in any way as Greeks or as people.

However- anyone who goes through rush hoping for top tier choices and then drops out before rush ends because they did not get invites back to top tier houses and think they are too good for the invites they got- good riddance! They are NOT suitable for any chapter precisely because they have the wrong idea that pledging a "top tier" house will somehow confer on them some kind of special status and that they are too good to accept anything less.

Such people merely serve to validate the incorrect stereotypes about Greek life in general and they have no part among our number. To those who think they are too good for some chapters, rest assured at competitive campuses they do not need or want you. They can fill their roster with enthusiastic and eager members just as easily as the top tier chapters.

To address something both of you have touched upon- after college I do think tier status goes away in large measure. As long as the chapter was not awful, having "been there" will always be to one's credit.

That said, there are some who will cling to having been "top tier" for the rest of their lives, and especially if life after college does not bring the social prominence and wealth one was expecting. I am old enough now to have seen that come to pass with some "top tier" friends from high school and college- and it is just plain ugly.

But who cares about those people? They are in the same group as those who cling to having been a high school cheerleader or having won the 5th grade spelling bee even though they did nothing of note once that was over.

In the long run, being a part of a fraternity or sorority is a valuable and rewarding step in life, and the individual member will benefit only to the extent to which they learned from and enjoyed the experience. Even the low tier chapters can offer one chances to lead, organize and learn proper professional and social behavior.

Anyone who comes into the rush process disregarding all that in the interests of seeking to get some kind of "status" they never had (and never will have) deserves to be left behind. If nothing else, it will hopefully be a life lesson.

[moe.ron]

Originally Posted by EE-BO

But who cares about those people? They are in the same group as those who cling to having been a high school cheerleader or having won the 5th grade spelling bee even though they did nothing of note once that was over.

The Al Bundy disease.

[ellebud]

My family attended a sports award banquet where one of my kids was being honored. The keynote speaker was a famous coach from a famous university. (How's that for not naming names?). The coach told all the kids to look around the room. Our athletes represented 1% of kids who started playing a sport at 7. Further he added that less than 1% of THESE kids would play their sport in college...and fewer than 1% of these kids would earn a living from their sport. The Coach then suggested that all the kids
look hard and develop their whole persons, not one defined as an athlete.

Same thing applies here: If you define yourself in college and beyond as a A *****, and nothing else you will be the loser who talks about their "glory" days. Hopefully the rest of the "team" or some will be around to support you, but only if the choices made were based on who you truly are.

And, I am in NO WAY desparaging those who get their first choice in the best house at the best university. I am not saying that one should suffer and go to a place where you may not fit in to be altruistic. What I am reiterating is simply this: To be part of a sisterhood (or brotherhood) is about finding people who will be your friends, share interests and celebrations...and yes difficult times...not just Prada bags and manicure time.