Envelope addressing etiquette

[LucyKKG]

Alright, I've got another one for ya. I'm addressing graduation announcements right now. My godparents recently separated, but I want to send announcements to both of them. Should I still write "Mrs. Smith" on hers? Of course they're still legally married. I guess that's what I should put. I just haven't had to think about it before.

[RaggedyAnn]

Definitely Ms.

[libramunoz]

According to Ms. Manners (pg 451), in sending an invitation to a couple that is separated, you should write to each separately, at each separate address.

In accordance to your original issue, according to Ms. Manners (also pg 451 to pg 452), you can address the envelope to the direct person (Mr. Jon Doe or Ms. Jane Doe) and state on the invitation, "I hope that you and your wife/husband will be able to join us for dinner."

Ms. Post can be a little old fashioned and Ms. Manners tends to try to be "ahead" of the game in dealing with the "new world." Hope this helps.

[PhoenixAzul]

Also, keep in mind generational things. We had a struggle about this during the wedding invite addressing . I am really bothered when I don't get my own first name on things and most of the people I run with (granted we're crazy liberals ), but my mom has no qualms about being "Mrs. DadFirstname DadLastname" and nor do most of her friends. I'm just bothered by it because it means "John Doe and Wife of John Doe". Which kinda bothers me because I have an identity outside of being "Wife of John Doe".

So we kinda struck a compromise. Most of my friends I addressed as
"Mary and John Doe".
and my parents friends I largely addressed as
"Mr and Mrs John Doe".

Because I'm a hyphenated last name now, and the first part of my last name is higher alphabetically, I usually get prime of place on the envelopes.
"Phoenix Maiden-HusbandLast"
and
"Husband HusbandLast"

What I love in Britain is getting to use professional initials after your name. After graduation you can use your academic credentials in correspondence, so I use "Phoenix Maiden-HusbandLast, MLit" when appropriate. Some people have a real alphabet soup after their name..."Sir Joe Schmoe, OBE (order of the British empire), ARA (Associate of the Royal Academy), AMA (associate of the museums association), BA(hons), MPhil, PhD. Generally, you only pull out the full litany for super formal situations or for writing references, and shorten it for the situation in other cases (Sir Joe Schmoe, OBE) .

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by PhoenixAzul

Also, keep in mind generational things. We had a struggle about this during the wedding invite addressing . I am really bothered when I don't get my own first name on things and most of the people I run with (granted we're crazy liberals ), but my mom has no qualms about being "Mrs. DadFirstname DadLastname" and nor do most of her friends. I'm just bothered by it because it means "John Doe and Wife of John Doe". Which kinda bothers me because I have an identity outside of being "Wife of John Doe".

So we kinda struck a compromise. Most of my friends I addressed as
"Mary and John Doe".
and my parents friends I largely addressed as
"Mr and Mrs John Doe".

Because I'm a hyphenated last name now, and the first part of my last name is higher alphabetically, I usually get prime of place on the envelopes.
"Phoenix Maiden-HusbandLast"
and
"Husband HusbandLast"

What I love in Britain is getting to use professional initials after your name. After graduation you can use your academic credentials in correspondence, so I use "Phoenix Maiden-HusbandLast, MLit" when appropriate. Some people have a real alphabet soup after their name..."Sir Joe Schmoe, OBE (order of the British empire), ARA (Associate of the Royal Academy), AMA (associate of the museums association), BA(hons), MPhil, PhD. Generally, you only pull out the full litany for super formal situations or for writing references, and shorten it for the situation in other cases (Sir Joe Schmoe, OBE) .

Interesting. I know that my mom USED to prefer the Mrs. DadsFirst DadsLast for school-related correspondence, but that was because she wanted to let the school know that my sister and I came from an intact 2-parent family. Now she'd rather have Mrs HerName MaidenName DadsName.

Also, I don't like the academic credential after the name unless it's a terminal degree. Munchkin03, M.S., is cheesy, but Munchkin03 PhD/JD/MD would be okay.

[ZTAMich]

Married just a year and a half and I'm totally over being Mrs. Husband's first name Husband's last name. The Post Office has no idea who I am and gives me a hard time when I'm picking up packages addressed that way. I'd like to send them a copy of Emily Post.

[LucyKKG]

Thanks all! It cracks me up how I'm sure my boyfriend wouldn't give stuff like this a thought at all. He'll probably try to get me or his mom to take care of it for him. Ha!