Are you a hypocrite?

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

At this point, I just don't want to hear it from her. I can repeat her little rant almost verbatim - not only is it rude, it's tiresome at this point. I was letting it go by until she snuck in that little self-congratulatory "At least I'm not a hypocrite" line. That, IMHO, was just a little too over the top.

First question: How do you all line up in the family?
Second question: We are all being a little judgmental here, don't you think? And I feel a tinge of sibling rivalry and insecurity.

Last observation: You know siblings. I say shit to my brother all the time. He says some stuff to me. But in the end, you know you are going to love her, as I do my brother, so why not just accept her for what she says. Yeah, you know how happy or sad she is going to be because of her choices, but isn't that the point--her choices... You don't have to live her life, she does.

"Hypocrite" is your trigger word. For now mine is "expectations"... I was told that trigger words indicate something is unresolved in your life and/or mind. That what you have to do is take that unresolved issue and "make it your special project" and work at it for awhile.

Or sometimes you have to use it as a "GFO": something like a "UFO"--but a "get the fuck outta here" thinking... LOL...

When I fight with my brother and we say some hurtful things to each other, and then I feel extraordinarily guilty, I send him a "love card" letting him know I really love him and he will always be my brother... He almost always changes his tune. For a minute there, I guess he thought I did not love him... And it's because I love him too much that I just don't want to see him hurt...

The irony is your siblings know how to get to you and push your buttons... And turnabout is fair play. But what I do with my brother leave his choices where they need to be--his; and love him for what he is trying do, now. And if I don't understand, I ask him. Because he needs to know I am in his corner and I need to know he will always be my family...

[SWTXBelle]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

First question: How do you all line up in the family?
Second question: We are all being a little judgmental here, don't you think? And I feel a tinge of sibling rivalry and insecurity.

Last observation: You know siblings. I say shit to my brother all the time. He says some stuff to me. But in the end, you know you are going to love her, as I do my brother, so why not just accept her for what she says. Yeah, you know how happy or sad she is going to be because of her choices, but isn't that the point--her choices... You don't have to live her life, she does.

"Hypocrite" is your trigger word. For now mine is "expectations"... I was told that trigger words indicate something is unresolved in your life and/or mind. That what you have to do is take that unresolved issue and "make it your special project" and work at it for awhile.

Or sometimes you have to use it as a "GFO": something like a "UFO"--but a "get the fuck outta here" thinking... LOL...

When I fight with my brother and we say some hurtful things to each other, and then I feel extraordinarily guilty, I send him a "love card" letting him know I really love him and he will always be my brother... He almost always changes his tune. For a minute there, I guess he thought I did not love him... And it's because I love him too much that I just don't want to see him hurt...

The irony is your siblings know how to get to you and push your buttons... And turnabout is fair play. But what I do with my brother leave his choices where they need to be--his; and love him for what he is trying do, now. And if I don't understand, I ask him. Because he needs to know I am in his corner and I need to know he will always be my family...

My "trigger" is the lack of logic demonstrated by my sister - as I said, I try to just let her go on her little rant and ignore her, but the whole "being a hypocrite as I denounce hypocriscy" thing was just was too much. I don't feel guilty calling her on it, and yes, she knows I love her and would do anything in the world for her. Well, I won't let her pull the b.s. she does outside the family. That's the blessing and the curse of family - they know you inside and out. Yes, I love her like crazy. Yes, I have tired of the hearing the same old "I don't like organized religion" thing. It's not that I try to change her mind - she's a grown-up, so no need to do that. I just want her to back off on apparently trying to change MY mine.

No, the purpose of this thread is not to untangle the complexities of our relationship. Please note that I didn't try to change or criticize the way my sister is living her life - she feels a need (and yes, some of it is her black hole of insecurity) to be critical of something which is a big part of mine. I hesitated to put the whole drama in this thread, but thought it was necessary to frame the converstation.
It got me to thinking because I was trying to ascertain if I was being too hard on her. Also, there is currently a lot of throwing around of the word "hypocrite" in the political arena. So, I honestly wondered how other people thought and dealt with the concept.

eta - I think there's enough evidence here for you to decide - we come from a family of 4 siblings. How do you think we line up?