Unattended Va Toddler dies in car

[DaemonSeid]

Originally Posted by KSigkid

I don't think that he was blowing it off, I think he was just commenting on whether this qualified as "news." I understand what you're saying about life-changing events (my wife and I were almost killed by a drunk driver in 2007), and I don't think Kevin meant to be dismissive in his post.

Also, as to the story - I really don't understand how someone could leave a small child alone like that. I understand being busy, I understand being distracted, but as a parent, there's a certain level of attention you should be giving to your child.

My heart goes out to him and the rest of the family, and I can't imagine going on in life after a tragedy such as this, but really, what was he thinking?

Agreed...I cant understand how you get so lost in thought that you forget about your child.

[nittanyalum]

Originally Posted by KSigkid

what was he thinking?

10 bucks says he was on his cell phone.

[VandalSquirrel]

Originally Posted by nittanyalum

10 bucks says he was on his cell phone.

That's what VandalShyster said. We are kidless but he doesn't understand that if he can think about what a pet is up to during the day (or me even), that someone wouldn't wonder what their kid was up to during the day.

I also thought that if the day care had called and said "Little Jimmy isn't at daycare today, and you haven't called in to say he is ill or that he wasn't coming in." perhaps the baby would have been found in time. I worked for a day care as a teenager, at least 10 years ago, and we always called if we didn't know the status of a child. Granted it was mostly related to custody issues, but I think it is a good policy.

[RaggedyAnn]

The last time I heard of this happening the parent who left the child in the car normally did not drop off the child as part of the morning routine. I can't remember if it was a man or woman, but the other spouse usually did the daycare drop and the child was asleep with he/she went to work.

It always boggles my mind when someone goes shopping with their dog. I was at PetCo the other day and someone came in because there was a dog in the car with all the windows up and was salivating all over the windows. It was 92 outside, so imagine how hot the car was. The manager paged for the customer (not saying why of course) but no one came. I was talking to the cashier and made the comment the owner probably wasn't for their store because they allow pets inside. Turns out the guy was in line a 2 people behind me checking out and 1 person behind the lady that did her shopping and made the report. With 4 of us talking about it in front of him, I hope he felt like crap.

[Jill1228]

This happens all too often and it makes no sense. On another board (a ttc/pregnancy/parenting board) I simply asked the question:

HOW IN THE HELL CAN YOU FORGET YOUR CHILD IS IN THE CAR???
Ya usually would think (well for women at least): keys-check, pocketbook-check, big assed weight of a child hanging from my arm or in the stroller-check, check and check

Well I had people jumping all over my shit when i asked about it. One of the excuses was sleep deprivation. Of course I got the "you are not a parent" card pulled on me by some skank (thanks, asshole...this was said a few months after my own miscarriage)

Still my question is "how in the hell do you forget your kid in the damn car?"

Waiting for the flames from parents here...

As far as the TN woman who needed to get her drink on while the kid was roasting in the car. The bitch needs to go under the jail

[DaemonSeid]

Originally Posted by Jill1228

This happens all too often and it makes no sense. On another board (a ttc/pregnancy/parenting board) I simply asked the question:

HOW IN THE HELL CAN YOU FORGET YOUR CHILD IS IN THE CAR???
Ya usually would think (well for women at least): keys-check, pocketbook-check, big assed weight of a child hanging from my arm or in the stroller-check, check and check

Well I had people jumping all over my shit when i asked about it. One of the excuses was sleep deprivation. Of course I got the "you are not a parent" card pulled on me by some skank (thanks, asshole...this was said a few months after my own miscarriage)

Still my question is "how in the hell do you forget your kid in the damn car?"

Waiting for the flames from parents here...

As far as the TN woman who needed to get her drink on while the kid was roasting in the car. The bitch needs to go under the jail

aint that much forgetfulness in the world.....

[nikki1920]

I have never forgotten my child in a car. Keys, yes. Purse, yes. ID for work, yes. 10 year old child, no. Almost 2 year old child, no. Sorry, there is just no excuse for forgetting your child in the car.

period.com

[nikki1920]

usu they don't call, in my experience.

[AGDee]

The schools are likely to call if your child isn't there and you didn't call them in as absent. However, I never had a day care call. Logically, since I would have to walk them in the building and sign them in, I'd know that I didn't do that so I'd know they weren't at school.

I have been in automatic pilot where I drive my usual routine even I was supposed to do something differently (like go somewhere right after work). I usually catch it pretty quickly though. I keep trying to think if I could have done this back in the day of my kids being that little. There may have been days where I was so sleep deprived that I forgot that I was supposed to drop them off at day care but I caught it within a mile of going the wrong way. I could TOTALLY see my ex-husband doing this though and we're kinda lucky he never did, I think. He's the most forgetful person I know and I think he could forget a child in the car with him. He often leaves his keys in the front door of his house. The next morning, he'll be searching all over for them. Open the front door and there they are, hanging from the lock still. <rolling eyes> Yeah, he could forget a kid.

[srmom]

Agreed...I cant understand how you get so lost in thought that you forget about your child.

I'm horribly ashamed to admit this (and trust me, my son never lets me forget about it, it's become a running joke in our family), but when my 3rd son was an infant, our neighbors across the street invited our family to dinner, so with casserole in arms and kids in tow, we went across the street and had a lovely, if boisterous dinner.

At the end of the night, we packed up our casserole and kids are trudged back across the street to our house, and put the kids to bed. WELL, a few minutes later, my neighbor came across and said, "I think you left something at our house."

I had left my baby sleeping peacefully in their bed.

We had been so preoccupied with packing up the other two sleepy kids, and the casserole, that I honestly completely forgot him.

Anyway, I THANK GOD, never left a child in a car (or a pet), but unfortunately, I can see getting so distracted that I forgot my child!!! I know, I'm a terrible mother!!!

I have put it down to 3rd child syndrome, once they outnumber you, it gets harder to keep track of them.

I'm not trying to defend this guy by any measure, it is horrific and I cannot imagine the pain that he and his wife and family are enduring and will endure forever, I just can understand how it can happen - doesn't make it ok, just that it happens.

[RaggedyAnn]

So today I went to pick up the Friday night takeout. Sure enough, in the same parking lot, there were 3 kids left in an SUV. I wouldn't have noticed except for the blood curtling scream. I guess one of the children was hitting the other. Yes the windows were open and it's not too hot out today. Yes we live in a generally safe community, but is it necessary to shop at a Kitchen Center on a Friday night with your kids in the car alone? When I was pulling out of the lot, one of the kids was taunting another family walking to their car. I actually came online just to vent this.

[texas*princess]

Geez. At what point are people going to learn you CAN'T LEAVE LIVING BEINGS INSIDE F'ING CARS!!

[tld221]

Originally Posted by KSigkid

Also, as to the story - I really don't understand how someone could leave a small child alone like that. I understand being busy, I understand being distracted, but as a parent, there's a certain level of attention you should be giving to your child.

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

Agreed...I cant understand how you get so lost in thought that you forget about your child.

Originally Posted by nikki1920

I have never forgotten my child in a car. Keys, yes. Purse, yes. ID for work, yes. 10 year old child, no. Almost 2 year old child, no. Sorry, there is just no excuse for forgetting your child in the car.

period.com

First, let me acknowledge that YES this is newsworthy, because it has to serve as a wake-up call to parents to stop being stupid. Parents will do anything for their kids, and to have to live with the fact that your decisions caused their death, that cant be easy to deal with.

to play devil's advocate, however... the article says he was a managing director and his son was newly adopted. That makes the guy a parent by definition but clearly not by nature. If anything, he may have regarded his kid with the same importance as whatever is on his schedule for the day--can be moved around, canceled, rescheduled, micromanaged, etc.

I truly believe that this was accidental - he's a businessman and was probably going about his day, completely forgetting about his son. You say, "how the hell..." but it seems logical.

and this is not a sweeping generalization on adults who adopt children and their parenting skills, but similarly, i cant count the number of times my aunt and uncle would call our house looking for their "newly" adopted daughter, because neither one could remember who was "responsible" for her that day. turns out they had let her stay with my aunt's grandparents that weekend. Another time, my cousin WAS at our house. She got dropped off on Friday and they didnt call til TUESDAY saying "oh, we got busy, neither one of us could come to pick her up."

BTW, my uncle runs a non-profit and my aunt is a doctor. Again, careers that take up a lot of their time, and like this guy, regarded their child like they would any other commitment on their calendars.

If youre too busy for kids, you shouldnt have them, biological or adoptive. This man seems like he fit the bill. Dont go fulfilling your dream of being a parent if youre not going to make the sacrifices to be one.

[SWTXBelle]

I was watching an Animal Planet show based in Miami. It follows the Animal "cops" - they responded to a call, but too late. A dog had died after being left in the car.