"Dropping" your girlfriend (with a twist)

[ForeverRoses]

Originally Posted by Leslie Anne

Okay, so someone help me out here. Given my feelings about letters, why do I think it's okay for a girl to wear her boyfriend's letters? I hate it when I realize I have double standards.

I think the hang-up is that when it is a female wearing a guy's letters you know she isn't really a member. You can't tell when it is another female.

And I know this might open up the whole double stitched block letter debate, but I don't have a problem with a girlfriend wearing a sorority lavalier or a date party tee-shirt or something, but a block letter shirt is something different. I guess if it is something that might be given to a non-member to wear it would be okay, but a member's only thing (like a block letter sweater) I might have a problem with.

Then again, I didn't really like it when my sisters wore their boyfriends letter sweatshirts around either. I guess it seemed TO ME like they were putting their boyfriends letters above thier own (by wearing someone else's letters).

[preciousjeni]

Originally Posted by Ilaria Ame

oohhhh, i didn't think that was allowed! i know in LPsiD, we are open to all women, but we specify that a relationship with another sister is grounds for forced deactivation (of both members). it's just too messy.

For the most part, Greeks are adults and should behave as such. I realize that doesn't always happen though, so if a relationship fizzled out between two members of the same organization, I can imagine it would be pretty tense for a while. But, I gotta say, if Theta Nu Xi ever forced the deactivation of sorors who were in a relationship with other sorors, I might have to rethink my decision to join the organization because it certainly wouldn't be the sorority I thought I was joining when I pledged.

On the overall topic, non-sorors don't wear letters, so I can't imagine it being an issue. However, I would completely understand a "Theta Boo" t-shirt.

[Ilaria Ame]

Originally Posted by preciousjeni

For the most part, Greeks are adults and should behave as such. I realize that doesn't always happen though, so if a relationship fizzled out between two members of the same organization, I can imagine it would be pretty tense for a while. But, I gotta say, if Theta Nu Xi ever forced the deactivation of sorors who were in a relationship with other sorors, I might have to rethink my decision to join the organization because it certainly wouldn't be the sorority I thought I was joining when I pledged.

On the overall topic, non-sorors don't wear letters, so I can't imagine it being an issue. However, I would completely understand a "Theta Boo" t-shirt.

i'm not sure i'm saying the right thing when i say "deactivate". i'm referring to going inactive, but not actually leaving the organization. anyway, i'm pretty sure that as long as members were discreet and mature, this wouldn't REALLY happen, at least not in the group of women i talk to the most, but the rule is there as a backup for bad situations. that's only my speculation, though. i can't really speak for what the founders were thinking when they made it.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Many fraternities have an unwritten rule, that when a girlfriend is dropped/lavaliered she is then allowed to wear his letters (mostly justified by the fact that most people would know that a girl wearing a TKE shirt was not a member).

People would not KNOW a girlfriend of an ASA was not an ASA...therefore, she shouldn't be allowed to wear highly visible letters. I do believe one of the girls in our chapter lavaliered her girlfriend, but she didn't wear letter sweatshirts or her ASA jacket. And I don't even know if the lavalier was actual letters or one of our symbols.

I don't know if any co-ed groups lavalier their significant others, but if they do they would have this same problem.

[SydneyK]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

...but what happens if you're XYZ sorority and you "drop" your girfriend who's in ABC sorority??

Good question, AF.

There was a lesbian couple on my campus, and each woman was in a different sorority. I don't recall either one of them wearing the other's letters as a lavaliere, but each had a shirt with the other's letters with "Sweetheart" written in script below the letters. It looked just like the fraternity's Sweetheart's shirts... I guess that's where they got the idea.

[nittanyalum]

I'm late to this thread and actually don't have anything to add, I just wanted to let AlphaFrog and Leslie Anne know that I'm totally stealing and saving the image links they used, so expect to see them in the future, I can foresee SO MANY applications for them...

[ChildoftheHorn]

Hmmm...

I know of a LOT of guys who are gay in fraternities on my campus. Greek life is so big here that it isn't a big deal. None of them are "fairies" because they do seem just like regular guys and you wouldn't know otherwise. The few guys I know have made the decision to never go with guys from their fraternity because they are "brothers" and as one guy said "You just don't mess around with family."

For the most part, the members of the fraternity know when the guys are rushing. The campus here isn't really phobic and most people don't care much. The point is to find people who you can be friends with and will be good to one another. How much does sexuality play into that?